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RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 7:30:05 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
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quote:

ORIGINAL: oArioch
A woman says to a man, "I'd like to get to know you first, have a few dates before
we have sex".

Is she being reasonable? Why or why not?


Ahhh, Elric, sweetest of my slaves.....do you bring me blood and souls?

The biological strategy of female determination of male fitness prior to mating is so thoroughly ingrained into the evolution of sexually reproducing organisms that it has literally shaped the face of our planet.  Homo sapiens, however, appears to be the only organism capable of posting on Internet message boards to complain about it. 

quote:

A man says to a woman, "I'd like to get to know you first, have sex a few times before we date".

Is he being reasonable? Why or why not?


Perfectly reasonable.  Minimizing his investment of resources in the search for a mate is a valid strategy.  Some males of various species (including ours) do attempt it, especially if they are low-status or lack resources.  Its cost-benefit ratio is high even though its actual success rate is low, so it is very likely to persist.


quote:

Should her physical investment in sex be valued more than his investment of time, energy and money in dating?


Depends on by what values you define "should".  I'm looking at it from an evolutionary biology point of view, and from that perspective the answer has to be "yes". 

quote:

If he has sex, and never sees her again, is he a bad person?


Again from the point of view of evolutionary biology, the answer is "no".  However if he used lies and deception to obtain sex, his strategy may not work repeatedly in the same environment, and he may be ostracized or rejected by future potential mates. In animals this strategy works best for wandering nomadic males.  In humans it works best in groups too large to communicate effectively on an individual basis (eg, modern big cities). 

quote:

If she has a date (lets him invest his time, money and energy) and never sees him again, is she a bad person?


If a female bower bird watches the display of a male bower bird as he works himself nearly to death to construct it in a way that is impressive to the female, and she rejects him because his efforts did not meet her standards of male fitness, is her strategy appropriate or not?  Evolution says that it is. Evolution is arguably a bitch, and a harsh mistress. 


quote:

It isn't important that others see what you think about this.  What's important is that you take a fresh look in the mirror. Thank you.


What I personally think is important is taking a look from the perspective of biology and evolution to better understand male and female mating strategies. 

(in reply to oArioch)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 7:30:29 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		A woman says to FukinTroll "We should go out on a date. I says, "You’re buying."
 
Is the Troll unreasonable?
 
FukinTroll says to slurpalicious slave slut, "We are going out on a date and I am buying."
 
Again, is the Troll unreasonable?

_____________________________

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TrollTopia
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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 7:30:39 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I am going to cast before you unworthy swine my pearl necklace, dine as you like.  If you like, you are invited to pm anyone you choose and just tell them I okayed it.

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 7:31:45 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

No Crisis at all KOM, if you've got my mind I can assure all the other fits will be made in Heaven. 



HEY... can't you read!!!  I said no comments need...

GREAT... you just ruined my delusional world.

Just so you know.. you failed the TEST!!!!!!!!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 7:33:24 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Just so you know.. you failed the TEST!!!!!!!!


It's Ok, I did extra credit..................


_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 7:33:43 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

A woman says to FukinTroll "We should go out on a date. I says, "You’re buying."
 
Is the Troll unreasonable?
 
FukinTroll says to slurpalicious slave slut, "We are going out on a date and I am buying."
 
Again, is the Troll unreasonable?


added details that the troll for got to add...

Troll had girl pay the bill at a 5 star restaurant

and with the slut... he took her to Mcdonalds

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to FukinTroll)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 7:34:18 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
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From: Under a bridge
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I am going to cast before you unworthy swine my pearl necklace, dine as you like.  If you like, you are invited to pm anyone you choose and just tell them I okayed it.


Holy shit man! That is like giving inmates on death row guns and keys....

Hey......... *sly grin* who am I gonna pester the shit out of.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 7:35:19 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I am going to cast before you unworthy swine my pearl necklace, dine as you like. 


Yippy!!  I love Pearls! 

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 7:35:41 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

A woman says to a man, "I'd like to buy my own coffee so you dont get confused I owe you anything".

Is she being reasonable? Why or why not?

A man says to a woman, "Its not very sub like of you to buy your own coffee are you sure your a submissive, but that's ok i'll fuck you anyways"?

Is he being reasonable? Why or why not?

Should her independance even if seen as reluctance lessen her value as a future submissive?

If she drinks her coffee and never sees him again, is she a bad submissive?

If he fucks her anyway is he still a master? 



mmmmmm these look like trick questions

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 7:35:45 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

A woman says to FukinTroll "We should go out on a date. I says, "You’re buying."
 
Is the Troll unreasonable?
 
FukinTroll says to slurpalicious slave slut, "We are going out on a date and I am buying."
 
Again, is the Troll unreasonable?


added details that the troll for got to add...

Troll had girl pay the bill at a 5 star restaurant

and with the slut... he took her to Mcdonalds


Hey!!! Didn't this thread say somewhere no digging up facts from old threads?

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 7:37:20 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Hey!!! Didn't this thread say somewhere no digging up facts from old threads?


if it did... I didn't READ it

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to FukinTroll)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 7:38:41 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Hey!!! Didn't this thread say somewhere no digging up facts from old threads?


if it did... I didn't READ it


It is clearly stated on post 30 my-optic friend.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 7:41:54 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll


It is clearly stated on post 30 my-optic friend.


DAMN so it does.... well um... mmmmm.... confused... I know there is a something I am suppose to say in moment like this....

OH YEAH....

Well sucks to be you. the cats out of the bag

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to FukinTroll)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 7:42:26 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		To the OP: Although you demanded no response to a written inquiry posted on a public message board, being as I am a member on the CM site, and seeing that it is a free country, I am posing a response, anyway  BUT- feel free, not to respond to my response, (or to simply meditate and reflect, upon it's implied "obvious" wisdom extensively) yourself, of course.

Admittedly, whether I can really truly read, or not, my "reasoning"' may be askew, in stating the above (but I don't really think so). I am also a total "message board junkie-slut". I can't help it, so sue me (or find me a good therapist, your choice). Anyway... 

Me-thinks this eternal dilemma has maybe existed for eons, to some extent, in many other guises. How people want to handle it, is a matter of personal preference.

They can "save themselves" for someone who will meet possibly unreasonable standards of whatever (including who will pay for a date), but, if they don't think those standards are unreasonable, then they may not really care if their "wait" is long, IMO.

The older I get, the less I care about other peoples' "standards" - whatever anyone wants is fine w/me (although I do have some of my own). I truly believe that if two (or possibly more) peope are happy, if some old rich guy wants to marry a 19 year old supposed "bimbo", for example - why the heck should I care? I am Not married to them, they are married to eachother.

Ditto for other "ways of dating and relating" that sometimes seem to abhor parts of the "general public". Bottom line - if they want to involve me, it becomes my business. Until then...

Or, someone can have fun, and just party on, w/any passing "slut" or "bad boy" and maybe even pay for it all themselves, too, if they want, if it gets them out and about, and having a good time, and they enjoy doing that, I guess.

I do not  expect to reconstruct the rest of society's preferences in regard to either extreme, or along the existing variations along any continuum in -between them, simply by discussing (or even posing) the issue as a possible conundrum, although I do sincerely see almost anything as a potential message board topic (within the stated TOS standards, of course).

I do what I myself think suits me, as far as who pays (or at least until I know someone else whole, whole, lot better). If we somehow cannot see "eye-to-eye" (and I am pretty "flexible" in this regard) then we simply do not see eachother, and say "Sayonara."   

I like it when someone pays, and I also occasionally like to treat. I can do it either way (I am a twue Switch - Hahahaha). 

I dunno, it's a _rap shoot, as well as a personal judgment call, how well either of these options "work", as far as helping people to be happ(ier) in their lives. I can truly see both sides of this Q. Sorry to sound so decisive...

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/13/2007 8:33:13 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 7:50:07 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

DAMN so it does.... well um... mmmmm.... confused... I know there is a something I am suppose to say in moment like this....

OH YEAH....

Well sucks to be you. the cats out of the bag


Crap! I did not realize you would parry with “Aristotle logic!”
 
As much as it pains me KoM I must use an ancient Egyptian discipline on you now. Perhaps you are familiar with the “Pharaohs Gambit” oh great pontificator?
 
Kom is friggen lying! It never happened, he is making shit up!
 
Ha! The D’Nile card has been played trumping your weak and enfeebled “Aristotle logic.”

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 8:03:38 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

To the OP: Me-thinks this eternal dilemma has maybe existed for eons, to some extent, in many other guises. How people want to handle it, is a matter of personal preference.


Pretty much right on there.  The strategy of "female choosiness" shaping male behavior and physiology in a species has existed since the advent of sexual reproduction.  Google "Red Queen Hypothesis" and "sexual arms race" for some fascinating reading. 

Professor:  "Can anyone tell me who first suggested asexual reproduction?"

Student: "Your wife?"

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 8:15:50 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Kom is friggen lying! It never happened, he is making shit up!
 


Well  Du'h Dude..... I always Lie....  and that is the truth.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to FukinTroll)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 8:19:57 PM   
Hrafnkel


Posts: 21
Joined: 4/9/2007
Status: offline 		Uhm, well... I actually thought the game was kinda simple.

The woman was stating that she had a foregone conclusion of them having sex even before they did their dates. She was creating a veneer of respectability. But people were defending her as though she were 'holding out'.

The man's example was a little worse, I think, as I suppose the point was supposed to be his display of his priority in a dating situation..

But I think the poster did have a point that very few people really examined the statements.

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 8:22:37 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oArioch

To a certain extent, BDSM realtionships begin as vanilla relationships.

You have to have that initial meeting, and it usually isn't a kinky one. So.
Considering the dynamics of that first step.

This is posed rhetorically. No response is called for.

A woman says to a man, "I'd like to get to know you first, have a few dates before
we have sex".

Is she being reasonable? Why or why not?



Sure. That's her standard. She's right to have it.
quote:


A man says to a woman, "I'd like to get to know you first, have sex a few times before we date".

Is he being reasonable? Why or why not?



Sure. That's his standard. He's right to have it. I don't see how sex would be getting to you know first, but I can totally understand wanting to ensure a sexual compatibility before getting attached.
quote:


Should her physical investment in sex be valued more than his investment of time, energy and money in dating?


There isn't any answer to that question that would apply to more then one situation.

quote:


If he has sex, and never sees her again, is he a bad person?

No, but if he told her he would see her again then he is a liar.

quote:


If she has a date (lets him invest his time, money and energy) and never sees him again, is she a bad person?


No, but if she told him she would then she is a liar.

quote:


Again: no response is called for.  These are questions intended to provoke reflection, not a morass of public masturbation.  I'm not posting this to gain attention, just offering it for what it may be worth to you as a tool for self-examination. Please don't fu*k it up by posting your predictable rants in response.
It isn't important that others see what you think about this.  What's important is that you take a fresh look in the mirror. Thank you.



Sorry, no fresh look needed. People will do and should do what is right for them in dating. If some man extended his time, effort and money into a date and it completely sucked, I have no obligation to answer his phone calls and see him again - unless I told him I would. By the same token, if said guy woos my pants off and I'm a rotten lay, he also no obligation to call me again - unless he told me he would. Either way, it doesn't make you a bad person. Just someone who would rather avoid the issue of having to tell someone "Look I had a rotten time and I don't want to see you again."

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to oArioch)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 8:24:58 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oArioch

Define "necessary".  Called for?  I think so. It's a bit of a chip on the shoulder, admittedly.  The implication is that people here do not actually read. That isn't my message. Rather, it is a CHALLENGE---- show me that you took more than 30 seconds to consider the issue before posting a flame in response.

Most people kid themselves that they are "open-minded", or have said
"I'm not STUPID, you know!" at one point.

Well......if you were stupid, would you be aware of it? Not necessarily.

I've been struck many times at the level of intolerance exhibited on kinky websites,
the cliques, the flames, the hijacking of threads, the harpies swooping to quash anything they deem "politically incorrect", the hypocrite/sychophant/shill "moderators" who are intensely dishonest and bigoted.  Pretty creepy, considering what we all should be striving for is MORE tolerance, not less.

Thanks for your feedback, despite the fact that I asked for NO FEEDBACK!



You posted a thread you don't want feedback. That makes a lot of sense. It also implies that you don't need feedback - you've got all the answers. Mature.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to oArioch)
Profile   Post #: 40
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