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RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 8:31:14 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oArioch
Thanks for your feedback, despite the fact that I asked for NO FEEDBACK!



You're welcome.  We don't care.  We're not actually talking to you.  :)

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 8:32:31 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Najakcharmer: Great professor and wife joke!, hehe.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to AquaticSub)
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RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 8:35:23 PM   
Hrafnkel


Posts: 21
Joined: 4/9/2007
Status: offline 		I'm pointing this out in defense of the poster as I think his goal was to make people think.

When given a hypothetical situation our tendency is to infer alot of preconcieved notions based on our own prejudices into how we view it.

The woman, I think, in the example, was given to make the point that she never mentioned that sex might not happen, that either party might not want to. To her, as the scenario was stated, it was an assumption.

I think the point he was trying to make was that if you swapped the man woman roles, our natural sympathies wouldn't have been there, and we wouldve noticed that the end goal on her part was apparently sex from the information presented.



(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 8:41:44 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Good point (I can see it from different angles).  I don't think men should always have to pay. Nor do I think people should be pressured into having (or necessarily avoiding) sex.

IMO, the bottom-line is: If you absolutely cannot live with someone's "standards", then it's time to move on (hopefully at this point, you haven't already married them, because if so, that can pose a whole other set of "things with which to deal", IMO, although that is another, completely different, topic).

- Susan 

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/13/2007 8:46:26 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Hrafnkel)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 8:46:29 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hrafnkel

I think the point he was trying to make was that if you swapped the man woman roles, our natural sympathies wouldn't have been there, and we wouldve noticed that the end goal on her part was apparently sex from the information presented.




He might actually have grounds to stand on if he hadn't of flipped out about getting feedback, said none was needed, or that everyone would go on a rant. The problem with trying to induce this sort of self-inspection is that one has to be either intimately familiar with those he is holding the mirror up for, or very respectful. The OP seems to fail on both counts.

However, I think his point would have been better made by presenting both dynamics for men and women. I know of men who are waiting till their wedding day and of women who won't date them because they aren't putting out!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Hrafnkel)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 8:50:01 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		If someone simply wants me to "personally reflect" on something, they can IM, or e-mail me, IMO. I am not saying he hasn't got message board "rights". But, IMO to post a topic and expect (or demand) no response, is  - well, probably not gonna happen. 

The OP can drown in self-pity over the fact people (of course) wrote in to respond, or think it "proves something" (does it? If so, what? That people sometimes "skim" threads? Um, yeah, they do. That's maybe not gonna change, IMO), and it's kind of an arrogant and unrealistic expectation, although I can understand the frustration (I've expressed a similar sentiment, once or twice myself).

But - if he truly prefers to be ignored (or at least not responded to in writing), I can do that, too. I have "self-control" I'd just think it's a little strange, as far as an expectation on a public message board, is all. He's not my personal Dominant, for instance (even if I am not saying I don't "respect him, basically, as a person", etc. - even if I don't even know him).

It is an interesting topic, I think. I can't imagine why he'd think it unworthy of discussion.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/13/2007 9:10:25 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 8:50:55 PM   
Hrafnkel


Posts: 21
Joined: 4/9/2007
Status: offline 		Well, fair enough. I can see your point. But then having just gotten hotheaded on a thread myself today, I'm not inclined to cast stones.

And again, not to take anyones side, but he did sort of call it. Everyone sort of did rant about what they thought he was saying and nobody really did stop and analyse it.

*shrug*

Just sayin'...

< Message edited by Hrafnkel -- 4/13/2007 8:52:14 PM >

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 8:57:42 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I see what you're saying. If he's asking  people to "reflect", my guess is that some folks are gonna want to write back. I don't think that is necessarily "weird" of them to want to do.

This is a message board, and this is the "General Discussion" area. And I admit I can sometimes be somewhat of a compulsive "talker" (but - that is why I'm here, partly, dammit).  Writing about things can help me sort out what I think, someitmes.

But maybe I should post my thoughts in response to his topic in a private journal, because an OP, who doesn't know me  - at all - has concluded that I, personally, need to take a "fresh look in the mirror", and re-consider my personal views, which he knew nothing about to begin with?...Well, um....maybe. Just Hmmm, is all I can say to the idea, really.  

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/13/2007 9:40:35 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Hrafnkel)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 9:04:53 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hrafnkel

Well, fair enough. I can see your point. But then having just gotten hotheaded on a thread myself today, I'm not inclined to cast stones.

And again, not to take anyones side, but he did sort of call it. Everyone sort of did rant about what they thought he was saying and nobody really did stop and analyse it.

*shrug*

Just sayin'...


Call what though? What rant did anyone go on? He didn't call anyone on anything. The first response was pointing out he's hiding under a new name (apprently badly).

I haven't seen a single stereotypical rant about sex and gender dynamics. What I have seen are solid points saying "It's their right to do what they want"

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 4/13/2007 9:05:19 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Hrafnkel)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 9:04:56 PM   
Hrafnkel


Posts: 21
Joined: 4/9/2007
Status: offline 		Okay. Again, fair enough. It is a bit odd to start a topic on a discussion board and then to forbid discussion. I'd kind of glossed over that, myself, supposing that he ment not to flame without due thought.  But you are right now that I look back. That does seem a bit... well, 'weird' is as good a word as any.

It just seemed vaguely rant-like to me. But then I've done worse, I suppose.

And I'm new on these boards. I don't know who he is or might be.  Just offering thoughts on what I'm reading, not the person.


< Message edited by Hrafnkel -- 4/13/2007 9:09:21 PM >

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 9:09:54 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Whenever I've seen it, it's because someone got their dander up about something and they think making a "don't reply to this - just think about it very carefully because I'm seeing something that clearly you aren't" is going to make everyone realize how stupid they are and come begging for forgiveness. In reality, it just makes them look very attention-hungry and rather bitter.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Hrafnkel)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 9:16:03 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Oh maybe he has a really bad week, or something. People are gonna write in, is my guess - they already have (maybe he'll read the responses, and like them. if nothing else, it at least proves someone read and reflected on the topic).

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 9:25:14 PM   
Hrafnkel


Posts: 21
Joined: 4/9/2007
Status: offline 		I can see people feeling that way. And I'm not disagreeing. Not even saying it wasn't snotty , rude, coarse, and brusque. He kinda was. But I think its important to try  to deal with things point by point and look at exactly what people are saying before trying to interpret why they're saying them. I mean I can have a valid point and say it like a raging lunatic, or I could be a silvertongue and sell you complete garbage.

But you all do have a point, too, and I can see that. It's also important to accept accountability for your own words and message. If I offend people even while trying to say something I think will be of merit, it's still my responsibility for saying something offensive. Fair enough.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 9:27:07 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		~Quicky~
 
Okay folks, the show is over. I cannot believe you all have the audacity post on this thread regardless of what the OP said.
 
Now from this point on if you are not posting on this thread please make sure you are using the official: "I'm not here" blue font.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 9:31:19 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Oh I do, too. I did try to answer the question, too. Basically, I think people should do what they can live with, and what works for them (I know that's general) but it's the only solution that's ever worked for me, although I can appreciate other views.

I don't care who really pays, and as far as who "plays"(re: sex or bdsm activity, and how soon), I need to trust someone's motives, period. And, it can take getting to know someone a bit, to be able to do that, although a reasonable amount of risk is going to come in to play, no doubt, that folks have to learn to deal with, too, IMO, when it comes to sex and-or money and their inter-play in relationships.

Okay, Fukin Troll, will do!

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/13/2007 9:37:05 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Hrafnkel)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 9:33:42 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		the problem with the "well, she's assuming sex is going to happen" philosophy is that, at least for me and for the people i know who are in their teens and early-to-mid twenties, that's a reasonable assumption. i have yet to date someone who didn't try to push sex quickly. if you're going to bring it up anyway, i might as well point out my own feelings about it early on so you don't get all excited and expectant.

damn. if we bring it up, we're making assumptions, but if we don't, we're leading them on. it's a catch-22 - we can't do right either way, so why does it matter at all?


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to FukinTroll)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 9:35:25 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		annabelle, I note you are using blue font. Are you here, or not here? hehehehe. I am kidding you - I think your comments are apt, maybe especially for some younger folk (although that is probably a generalization, I know it's true for me. My 22 year old neice contends w/ a whole set of different expectations I never dealt with, growing up, for instance. I know she feels pressure to have sex earlier in a LT relationship, for instance, than I did in college.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/13/2007 9:41:54 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 10:01:58 PM   
TigressFL


Posts: 239
Joined: 6/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

~Quicky~
 
Okay folks, the show is over. I cannot believe you all have the audacity post on this thread regardless of what the OP said.
 
Now from this point on if you are not posting on this thread please make sure you are using the official: "I'm not here" blue font.


You are too much!! Dying laughing here!

Tigress~FL

(in reply to FukinTroll)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 10:02:56 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		Thank ya doll!

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to TigressFL)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Test to see if people can read..... - 4/13/2007 10:03:34 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		susan, not sure if i'm here or not. i feel like that often, though. this is just a visual way of expressing it. ;)


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 60
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