Wildnfreehrt2004
Posts: 51
Joined: 9/30/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Olorin
I'm disappointed I didn't provoke more disagreement, so at the risk of sounding like a petulant brat, I'll reiterate my earlier claim. I'm not necessarily agitating for attention; it's just that I seem to disagree with the underlying assumption of most of these posts, and so far no one has said anything that leads me to change my mind.
I'll say this. I don't disagree that among people who actually think about this kind of thing (which, by hypothesis, includes practically anyone posting on this thread) intelligence is important. I'll simply contend that most people don't think. Not about relationships, not about psychology, not about themselves.
I'm certain I can't be the only intelligent person here who's found his or her intellect either a liability or at least an asset overwhelmed by other liabilities. In either case, my experience has certainly not been that intelligence is an overriding positive. Maybe all of you are simply better people than the norm (which I don't doubt) but I can't agree that intelligence is a plus among the majority of people.
I'ld be happy to be convinced otherwise - I'ld be happy to move to wherever it is that it IS true. But I would be curious if someone could at least address my pessimism....
Intelligence can be a liability in this type of forum. I have been told my intelligent is intimidating to men. But I am not looking for an insecure man who is easily intimidated - esp by me! CM isn't as bad as other sites which assume you are only there for a quick hook-up, kleenex relationship (I am horny, and I want someone to play with/use now and then no more), meet-n-beat of the week, or primarily sexual connections. At least on CM, there is more emphasis on relationship as a goal.
But I have to admit, having an IQ above 150-160 limits the potential pool somewhat (but then so does not having a Barbie body). I'm not bragging nor would I give it up. I survived the type of spinal meningitis that kills or mentally retards more than 98% of all who contract it. It's a blessing to be alive, not be retarded, and be intelligent. I didn't ask for a high IQ, but I'm not turning it down either. It doesn't make me better than anyone else, nor does it make me worse- just different. Intelligence for me is social, personal, interactive, curiousity, people - much more than degrees. I enjoy mental stimulation (when I can find it) that is real, hands on, reality type information, discussion - passionate, zesty and fun! Hypothetical or classroom knowledge is interesting on occasion, but I seek it out much less. I went to college and am shy of a bachelor's by a few credits. I am discriminated against in my job - there are those who finished their degree who get more doors open for it. Side by side, I perform above their level (and my job description) but I'm fortunate to have gotten as high as I have so far without a degree - it's rare. But my path has some very interesting twists and turns that I wouldn't give up!
When I look at my working retirement plan to be my own boss, develop several independent income streams and provide service to people, going back to school takes a back seat.
I wish I had the patience for those who type 'r u' and don't know the difference between their, there, and they're and to, two, too (and dominant and dominate - grins)....and I know the difference between misspelling and making typo errors.... But someone who can communicate well is someone who gets my attention, especially if they communicate well in the written form (My hats off to many on the forums, I am drawn back here time and again because of you). An intelligent dominant would use my skills as an advantage, lol! If all else about a person blew me away, lack of communication skills can still be a problem if it affects how they get along in the world with other people. Intelligence is the capacity to think, learn, interact and relate to people - it's never about putting others down to make yourself look better. Humility and compassion are huge components. Periodic self-review or self-evaluations are also something I look for - I'm not perfect, but have I done the best I can do? Have I harmed no one? What can I do to improve? In the nilla world, I've dated the whole socio-economic-educational spectrum...from men with GED, to PhD's; blue collar, minimum wage, white collar and several millionaires. I found intelligent, interesting men at every level, but if they couldn't keep up, attention waned.
I was also taught that others perceive us by the way we present ourselves. So in my family, bad spelling, bad handwriting, sloppy communication was the same as wearing wrinkled, dirty clothes with holes in them - not acceptable. If you take pride in yourself, being sloppy isn't allowed (gotta love the growing up as a military dependent experience!) It was thoroughly ingrained and I can't undo it!
But maybe it all boils down to expectations - I'm looking for intelligent, like-minded people to interact with, and am open to a man who is a good match for a relationship should it happen. I need someone who is passionate outside the bed as well as in it. As a man said, most men are here for sex.
Wildy who is sincerely humble (and proud) and interested in hearing your story!
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RE: Intellectual Appeal - 
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