RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped from the bottom?

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RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/20/2007 9:16:55 AM

SubtleDifference

Posts: 64
Joined: 3/6/2007
From: NJ
Status: offline

Good afternoon, Lashra.

I saw it like that also, that perhaps insecurity played a part. Being assertive and strong can perhaps make someone feel a bit defensive with the questions. The first time it happened, that was my thought. But it happened two more times after that. It seemed that it was time for some self-reflecting....maybe it was me who projected it.

Everyone has given such good food for thought. Thank you all so much.

Elena

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 21

RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/20/2007 9:24:38 AM

SubtleDifference

Posts: 64
Joined: 3/6/2007
From: NJ
Status: offline

Hello again, Bull.

Yes you most certainly did say that it would depend on the circumstances. I have always felt that asking the questions that would determine that compatibility would be essential. I was taken aback when it was written to me in email because it wasn't my intent but I might have been doing it none-the-less.

It seems that most do not think it is topping from the bottom when questions are asked, but the manner, tone and types might be taken that way. I will re-evaluate my questions the next round.

~avoiding the practical whip demo~

Elena

(in reply to xBullx)

Post #: 22

RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/20/2007 9:25:55 AM

SubtleDifference

Posts: 64
Joined: 3/6/2007
From: NJ
Status: offline

OedipusRexIt,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Elena

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)

Post #: 23

RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/20/2007 9:53:23 AM

PONYSEEKER

Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

No, it actually sends up a red flag if they dont ask questions and pay very close attention to what kind of questions they ask.

(in reply to SubtleDifference)

Post #: 24

RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/20/2007 10:20:11 AM

szobras

Posts: 435
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline

Not at all. I actually enjoy it. It can relate alot about another just in the type of questions that are asked.
I also find that it shows intent, and often brings up questions I may not have thought of at the time. I do enjoy light conversation in getting to know someone, though when talking with a potential partner, it is good to realize any connection or lack there of early. I think it well may cut down on the Ole' "poof" factor in the long run.

(in reply to SubtleDifference)

Post #: 25

RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/21/2007 7:07:14 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

It can't be the dreaded tftb if you aren't already submitting to them. So anybody who charges you with this, or not being a true sub, is missing the point that you haven't yet agreed to submit.

Be grateful they reveal themselves this early and move on to the next. But you owe nothing to someone until you have both agreed to do something.

(in reply to SubtleDifference)

Post #: 26

RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/21/2007 7:34:15 AM

FreshBread

Posts: 29
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

No...too few questions would actually raise my suspicion about the person.....

(in reply to SubtleDifference)

Post #: 27

RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/21/2007 1:03:32 PM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

No questions are ALWAYS good it creates a atmosphere of trust and understanding as well as keeping the other person from doing something foolish due to ignorance.

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to SubtleDifference)

Post #: 28

RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/21/2007 6:05:55 PM

MrTime

Posts: 15
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline

If you don't ask, you don't learn. Safety is the key issue always, asking questions can enlighten you as to whether you are at risk getting involved with the person you are talking to.

Always ask, no matter how trivial it may seem, as the answers to the small things can show how they feel about the big things.

Cheers all

(in reply to Kinkypupper)

Post #: 29

RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/21/2007 6:14:52 PM

kruelkare

Posts: 20
Joined: 3/28/2005
Status: offline

Questions are good, very good.
It shows an active interest, not a doormat acceptance.

However, the manner of the questioning sometimes leaves a little to be desired...
I like to encourage respectful debate... a, "Sir, may i ask...?" style...

But that's me, old fashioned all over. :-)

----------------------------------

Keep back! I have a Black Belt. And Brown Socks

(in reply to MrTime)

Post #: 30

RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/21/2007 6:22:27 PM

UR2Badored

Posts: 506
Joined: 2/3/2007
Status: offline

Pardon me, I am not a Master, but I was very interested in this topic. I have a ran across very few Dominants, but at least one or two, that seemed angry with me for asking questions. I am guilty of being annoyingly inquisitive at times. In the one or two curcumstances I have encountered, it was not a face to face conversation but an online conversation where I was hoping the lack of inflection and tone relayed was at least partly the culprit. One really got angry and I felt badly to annoy someone so unintentionally when I did want to know more information about him--anyway.

< Message edited by UR2Badored -- 4/21/2007 6:38:44 PM >

_____________________________

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way
Mark Twain

(in reply to kruelkare)

Post #: 31

RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/21/2007 10:18:11 PM

SubtleDifference

Posts: 64
Joined: 3/6/2007
From: NJ
Status: offline

My thanks to everyone for responding.

Have a lovely spring weekend!

Elena

(in reply to SubtleDifference)

Post #: 32

RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/21/2007 10:38:56 PM

OedipusRexIt

Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubtleDifference

OedipusRexIt,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Elena

...if you know me, you know I can't help it...

_____________________________

"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."

(in reply to SubtleDifference)

Post #: 33

RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/22/2007 6:15:36 AM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

Asking questions bad? No, not at all.
I do like my questions to be answered in return, and I do like a sub to answer the questions that they have asked me. Am I in an open relationship, yes, and are you?
Tone of questions can be rather demanding at times, which I don't respond to well.
And "May I lick your pussy?" isn't the best question to start with.

Having said that, however, my general policy is "ask anything you want. I reserve the right to decline to answer or say that it is none of your business if I feel it is too personal."

There are certainly some Dom/mes who fit a stereotype of "all might high and powerful dominant how dare a sub ask me questions" but there are other types also. I commend you for looking at your own personal style, but you might also just take it as an indication that you are not compatible with that Dom, and move on.

~E

(in reply to SubtleDifference)

Post #: 34

RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/23/2007 4:21:15 AM

LeatherBentOne

Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

Asking questions mean nothing. It's the reply that counts.

(in reply to Elorin)

Post #: 35

RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/23/2007 7:22:55 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kruelkare
a, "Sir, may i ask...?" style...

But that's me, old fashioned all over. :-)

I hate that question because they are already asking a question by asking if they can ask a question.

My response to that tends to be "no" or "Do you mean that question or another one?"

I much prefer just a "Is this a good time to ask a question re: X?" and go from there.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to kruelkare)

Post #: 36

RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/23/2007 7:42:43 AM

OedipusRexIt

Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline

Don't you ever feel even just the slightest bit pompous... self inflated... ?

No, of course not. There are no links for that.

_____________________________

"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 37

RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/23/2007 8:21:14 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

If a girl can't ask questions then how else can she learn what she doesn't understand? If she can't understand how can she comply and be pleasing? How can the trust be built which leads to those deeper levels of submission?

There maybe TIMES where questions are inapropriate, but questions themself are not and time is always left in the relationship where she can raise them at some point.

As for the question of "Topping from the bottom", if questions could sway Your decision then you aren't very sure of Your decision making ability.

Often I head such things off at the pass by letting My girl know why I make a particular decision, what I am trying to achieve in taking that approach rather than another. If she understands the why then she is better placed to properly work with Me, rather than not understanding and her efforts being misdirected.

Other times of course the only reason IS "Because thats how I WANT it, so thats how it WILL be done"

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to SubtleDifference)

Post #: 38

RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/23/2007 8:43:43 AM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Yeah! Another goodie is back! Lovely to see you RavenMuse!

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 39

RE: Do questions make you feel you are being topped fro... - 4/23/2007 9:49:25 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

I never really left just had My attentions elsewhere but I stick My nose back in from time to time.

Especialy to keep an eye on how delightful young ladys such as yourself are getting on

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 40

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