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The good submissive - 4/20/2007 8:08:58 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		I am a lifestyle dominant and I am very specific in what I look for in a submissive.

I wanted to put it to the submissive/slaves on here. What do you feel are the most important dynamics for being good at what you do?
Now I know and respect that each and every one of us are different and one mans meat is another mans poison, so to speak! So, I am not asking how you like to submit or personal experiences, but asking what attributes, within your submission would you think make a long term and successful relationship?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: The good submissive - 4/20/2007 8:15:55 AM   
leili


Posts: 49
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		i think that first of all it is very important to pay attention to the needs of your Dominant.  for example, if your Dominant likes....coffee, always have fresh coffee at hand and always check the said cup without your Dominant having to ask you.  and prepare it the way he/she likes it.....another thing on being submissive is you have got to LIKE to serve.  if you do not like serving, then why the hell are you a submissive in the first place?  lol, you know?  the top attributes should be complete obedience, exquisite beauty (which i'm working on right now lol), and definitely just having the desire to serve and please the Dominant.  seeing them happy should make the submissive happy.  anyway, i could go on and on and on on this subject but that's enough for now lol

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: The good submissive - 4/20/2007 8:17:30 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Self awareness

Refusal to settle or not be true to myself

Adaptability

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: The good submissive - 4/20/2007 8:24:35 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leili

i think that first of all it is very important to pay attention to the needs of your Dominant.  for example, if your Dominant likes....coffee, always have fresh coffee at hand and always check the said cup without your Dominant having to ask you.  and prepare it the way he/she likes it.....another thing on being submissive is you have got to LIKE to serve.  if you do not like serving, then why the hell are you a submissive in the first place?  lol, you know?  the top attributes should be complete obedience, exquisite beauty (which i'm working on right now lol), and definitely just having the desire to serve and please the Dominant.  seeing them happy should make the submissive happy.  anyway, i could go on and on and on on this subject but that's enough for now lol


Hello leili and thank you for the reply
You say exquisite beauty. I am a little baffled by that!. Do you mean beauty from within or outwardly beautiful

(in reply to leili)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: The good submissive - 4/20/2007 8:27:51 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Self awareness

Refusal to settle or not be true to myself

Adaptability


Ha, i like this response!

I have read a lot of your posts and I relate to a lot of what you say.
Thank you

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: The good submissive - 4/20/2007 8:45:11 AM   
Leigha23


Posts: 45
Joined: 4/20/2007
Status: offline 		i would like a man to be dominant in the mind which is being a likeable man, creative, chill personality and likes people.  not a man with a tough guy attitude who is a hater of women and not a man with more enemies than friends and a man who has his life in order and does not play games with peoples minds.

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: The good submissive - 4/20/2007 9:14:09 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leigha23

i would like a man to be dominant in the mind which is being a likeable man, creative, chill personality and likes people.  not a man with a tough guy attitude who is a hater of women and not a man with more enemies than friends and a man who has his life in order and does not play games with peoples minds.


I think the same goes for a dominant wanting the same attributes in a sub.

(in reply to Leigha23)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: The good submissive - 4/20/2007 9:15:17 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leigha23

not a man with a tough guy attitude who is a hater of women

Are you saying a guy with a tough guy attitude is a hater of women? Are you lumping these two seperate and wholely different things into one, or are they actually two seperate things to you and you just didn't put in the correct punctuation marks?

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to Leigha23)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: The good submissive - 4/20/2007 11:00:08 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		My willingness to learn from my mistakes, be introspective when asked to be, the willingness to listen even when I do not like what I am hearing (that is a hard one...smiles) come instantly to mind. I take pride in myself and what I do no matter what I am doing in all aspects of my life, I also think this tends to be a good attribute for a submissive. I have high self esteem, which seems to be something that my Daddy prizes in me.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: The good submissive - 4/20/2007 11:04:10 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		honesty
thoughtfulness
working for what is best for both of you
learning how to communicate with your Master in a way that works for both of you
growth
respect
brattiness...*lol*


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: The good submissive - 4/20/2007 11:58:56 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I take pride in myself and what I do no matter what I am doing in all aspects of my life, I also think this tends to be a good attribute for a submissive. I have high self esteem, which seems to be something that my Daddy prizes in me.

We all know it's just a really good cover for you Julia ;)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: The good submissive - 4/20/2007 12:14:31 PM   
jauntyone


Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

I am a lifestyle dominant and I am very specific in what I look for in a submissive.

I wanted to put it to the submissive/slaves on here. What do you feel are the most important dynamics for being good at what you do?
Now I know and respect that each and every one of us are different and one mans meat is another mans poison, so to speak! So, I am not asking how you like to submit or personal experiences, but asking what attributes, within your submission would you think make a long term and successful relationship?

Greetings
 
what are the most important dynamics for being good at what I do?
 
Well, since I don't see slavery as a job so to speak, I think that the things that make any relationship successful should apply here. Ability to adapt and compromise; respect for each other and the relationship; honesty with yourself and each other; communication.
 
I wish you well
 
melissa

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: The good submissive - 4/20/2007 1:37:48 PM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks for all the intelligent responses. I just hope that some of those subs out there that think that submission is just about servitude will read this and take on board what submission ‘should’ be about. There are so many subs on this site but I honestly believe that very few could of answered this question.
So many good words
Ability, compromise, adapt, respect, honesty, communication, self esteem, pride, thoughtfulness, self awareness and my favourite ‘growth’!
All I can add to that is ‘integrity’ and being able to have the ability to sacrifice your own ethics.

(in reply to jauntyone)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: The good submissive - 4/20/2007 2:22:49 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I take pride in myself and what I do no matter what I am doing in all aspects of my life, I also think this tends to be a good attribute for a submissive. I have high self esteem, which seems to be something that my Daddy prizes in me.

We all know it's just a really good cover for you Julia ;)


Like being undercover?...smiles

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: The good submissive - 4/20/2007 2:23:17 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		having similar interests as a vanilla and BDSM is very important to me because if we don't have anything in common building a relationship would be a difficult thing to do. the rest - trust, honesty, integrity, intelligence, successful, mentally and financially stable, etc. fall into place.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: The good submissive - 4/20/2007 2:46:48 PM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		I agree sambamanslilgirl. If any of this is going to be long term then its very important to focus on one another’s vanilla interests. That feeling of submission/dominance is still their but it is just less visible.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: The good submissive - 4/20/2007 3:34:05 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

I am a lifestyle dominant and I am very specific in what I look for in a submissive.

I wanted to put it to the submissive/slaves on here. What do you feel are the most important dynamics for being good at what you do?
Now I know and respect that each and every one of us are different and one mans meat is another mans poison, so to speak! So, I am not asking how you like to submit or personal experiences, but asking what attributes, within your submission would you think make a long term and successful relationship?


While hard to define, I think that the most important attributes may be both the desire to obey (obviously) and also the confidence in your dynamic to "step outside" of your submission and be able to tell your dominant/master when something is wrong.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: The good submissive - 4/20/2007 4:41:47 PM   
leili


Posts: 49
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		i mean exquisite beauty both inward and outward, but more importantly inward, of course

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: The good submissive - 4/20/2007 5:22:44 PM   
sillygirl09


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/31/2007
From: New Jersey
Status: offline 		I think being totally honest with myself as to what I want and doing my best to express that to any partner I have is most important.

(in reply to leili)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: The good submissive - 4/20/2007 7:49:20 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
So many good words
Ability, compromise, adapt, respect, honesty, communication, self esteem, pride, thoughtfulness, self awareness and my favourite ‘growth’! All I can add to that is ‘integrity’ and being able to have the ability to sacrifice your own ethics.


I'm not sure about sacrificing my own ethics, even though I am a slave. I am flexible and have changed a great deal since Master took an interest in training me for his Household. Ethics, I think, are those things we hang on to even when it is difficult to do so; otherwise, they'd be called "quirks".

To add a couple more words to that list, I think creativity (who wants a boring slave ... or a boring Master for that matter) and ingenuity have a place on there.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 20
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