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MadameDahlia -> RE: Introvert or Extrovert (5/13/2007 3:17:39 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I was wondering if submissives tend to be introverted or extroverted.
I think that, like with any group of people, you're going to find you've got a mixed bag. While saying "people are people first" is a bit trite it's also true. People come in all shapes, sizes, colors, orientations, religions, backgrounds and natures. And it has little to do with how they identify in the scene.
Is there a higher number of self-identified submissives, who also happen to be one [introverted] or the other [extroverted]? Perhaps.
But I think people tend to get too hung up on their definition of a word. The "submissive versus slave" debate is a good example of that. Likewise, when people ask "Are there masochistic Dominants and sadistic submissives?" Sure. Of course there are. They're just words. Labels. But as far-reaching and expressive as language can be it is inherently limited by the person using it.
If someone's definition of "submissive" is "person who comes to my house twice a week to fluff my pillows, wash and wax the car and bathe the cat" there isn't much that'll convince them that submissive should actually mean "a person who trims my hedges, mows the lawn, cleans out the fridge and restocks the pantry". And don't even try to tell them that a submissive is "one who sucks my cock, bathes in my mansauce and leaves a mint on the pillow after s/he's cleaned up". They're just not going to get it. [;)]
I've heard it said that stereotypes exist for a reason. And perhaps sometimes a glimmer of truth can be found in any phrase that's made its way into our lexicon, but before I make assumptions or sweeping statements I merely reflect on the transaction I once witnessed while at a dungeon one evening.
A man, clad in nothing but leather pants, was in the center of a room, cracking a singletail. A woman sat in one corner of the room, sipping a bottle of water while watching him. I was packing up gear on the opposite side of the room, getting ready to vacate. Another woman stood in the doorway, watching him as well.
He walked toward the seated woman and put the singletail down and picked up a flogger. As he walked back toward the middle of the room, he noticed the woman standing in the doorway. He flashed her a bit of a smile and she squirmed in place. Since he was not engaged in a scene, she spoke to him quietly. "You're really impressive with that, Sir."
His lips twitched a bit before he gave her a full grin. "Why thank you," he said after a minute or two. She shifted from foot to foot, rather obviously debating the merits of saying something else that was on her mind. After a bit, she finally said, in what has got to be one of the most timid voices I've ever heard, "If... if you don't have anyone here to play with tonight..." And then she trailed off, face growing a bit red.
He murmured, "I'd have to ask my Mistress first. But if she's fine with it I'm game." At this point the woman in the corner chimed in. "I've no objections. As long as you don't tire him out too much. He's still got dishes that need doing when we get home."
Once the woman in the doorway recovered from her shock, the two began to discuss the details of the scene. I'd say that's a near perfect example of just how easily appearances can be deceiving.
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