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Talking - 4/24/2007 4:44:48 AM   
kaie


Posts: 17
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings All,

    i was wondering if ya'll like talking during a scene or if you just like it quiet?  By quiet i mean music can be in the background, but no talking.  Sometimes i get so into/concentrating on what's being done and if he talks to me or asks me something it's distracting.  i've read that it's important for the Dom to ask the sub questions and for her to answer in order for the scene to continue, but i'm really not liking that method. 
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Talking - 4/24/2007 5:47:55 AM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline 		It depends on the scene itself.

Sometimes he talks, sometimes I talk...sometimes we laugh and giggle..sometimes I scream and curse. Sometimes it's silent.


_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to kaie)
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RE: Talking - 4/24/2007 7:37:22 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		In the beginning, it can be necessary to ask the sub questions to get to know them and work with them in a scene.  Over time, this becomes less necessary.

And yes, I'm ok with a sub being annoyed at me for asking too many questions- much better than them being hurt unintentionally later.



_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to kaie)
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RE: Talking - 4/24/2007 7:44:19 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		We talk during scenes, he will tell me to shut up if he doesn't like it, or fill my mouth with something.

I have never had a problem with him talking to me and asking me questions.. there have been times i am slow in answering, and that tends to get an annoyed "Answer me now" Kinda response. I just do what I am told, it is easier that way

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to kaie)
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RE: Talking - 4/24/2007 7:59:06 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		Talking doesn't happen here, not at those times........we've never talked about not talking either.  Perhaps I grunt, groan and grimace in expressive ways....lol

If you don't know each other terribly well then I can understand why it's stressed.

agirl







(in reply to kaie)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Talking - 4/24/2007 1:23:44 PM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		i also prefer no talking during a scene, it distracts me from being able to process pain. i also have a hard time understanding what He is saying to me during a scene as well. It feels like i am having to pull myself up to the surface from a huge depth, like surfacing from underwater and it is a strain to do so.

heartfelt

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Talking - 4/24/2007 1:55:59 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings kaie,

i'm expected to answer questions, ask questions, communicate my thoughts, feelings, emotions, fantasies, etc. continuously throughout scenes. generally i get in trouble for not talking, so i talk...a lot...or try to. occasionally i wish i was allowed to shut up, but our method works for us, so that's what i do :)

annabelle.


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a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to kaie)
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RE: Talking - 4/24/2007 6:17:01 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		On the way home I remembered a scene I did a few years ago in which a bottom was definitely not happy with the fact that I was asking her to respond and give guidance on how she was reacting.  I made it part of the scene- telling her what a pussy she was that she couldn't handle just some basic talk and if she though she could do a better job topping herself then she was more than happy to try- which of course turned into her asking sweetly for me not to stop and apologizing.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to hisannabelle)
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RE: Talking - 4/25/2007 4:51:56 AM   
kaie


Posts: 17
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings All,

   Thanks for the responses, it's interesting to get other's points of view.  i've mentioned before that we're still rather new at this.  We've done things before and there has been no talking, which also kind of freaked me out to begin with.  Not that i was told NOT to talk, but He never did and so i just followed suite so to speak.  He's been doing some reading, and having me do some also and now He talks during scenes sometimes and it's different.  Something i'm sure i an get used to but just very different than it has been in the past.  And like heartfelt said, it's like having to wade up through water to comprehend and answer. 

Respectfully,
kaie

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Talking - 4/25/2007 7:16:43 AM   
BDOMsecret


Posts: 43
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline 		I find hearing Master's voice during a scene extremely comforting.  And yes, i have to answer His questions.  He has informed me that it is for safety reasons.

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Take care and be safe.
His o};-

(in reply to kaie)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Talking - 4/25/2007 7:34:02 AM   
soultoshare


Posts: 519
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		with my play partners, i used to have the TV on....mainly to hide any noise that may be produced.  But with my Master, i play some soft music in the background, he seems to like it.  i do love the sound of his voice, but it is tough trying to process what i'm going thru, and what he's doing when i have to answer a question.  As we are fairly new as a couple, he is still learining how my body and mind react to what he's doing to me, so he stops to make sure i'm okay, but sometimes trying to get the words out to answer is impossible, fortunately, he accepts a head nod in response.  So far, it's working for us.  He is however, far more intense than any play partner i've ever had, and he knows this, therefore he checks often on my condition.  It just takes some getting used to, that's all.

(in reply to BDOMsecret)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Talking - 4/25/2007 8:07:08 AM   
amuzingtoyou


Posts: 144
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline 		i am not very talkative during a scene, however i don't mind it if he is. Actually i kind of like it if he is. It really depends what is being said. We have been together a while now, so he doesn't have to ask me if im ok. Usually it is those domly utterances that he puts out there to increase whatever is going on. Its always nice during a hot and heavy scene to have your hair grabbed and told that "you are mine bitch"...mmm yummy.

(in reply to kaie)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Talking - 4/25/2007 8:47:31 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I am very vocal and i am not talking about talking i usually don't have enough breath to talk, Master! is all i can get out and even that is hard.  Master does not usually talk during a scene.  It does not really bother me i actually kinda like it.  If he asked me questions i don't think i could answer my mind goes kinda fuzzy and blank.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to amuzingtoyou)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Talking - 4/25/2007 10:41:54 AM   
santalia


Posts: 142
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings

In the past, i, too, have found that during a scene my mind goes fuzzy and blank. It is working hard to process what is happening to me. If i were asked a question, i might be able to answer early on, but the deeper into the scene we go, the more likely my mind would not be able to process what is being said, or process what to say in return if it did understand the words spoken to me.

Now, i don't yet know how it will go with my Master, as we've not scened together yet. But, i'm thinking it safe to say that my ability to communicate as i get closer to and deeper in subspace will be very much the same as it has in the past.

Well wishes

-santalia{JR}t

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Talking - 4/25/2007 11:07:23 AM   
charismagirrl


Posts: 297
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		i don't know so much about the question aspect, as my Daddy hasn't asked me alot of them but as for talking...well it seems as though i'm in the minority...i only wish and pray that my Daddy would talk to me during a scene.

Hearing other's responses and knowing that my Daddy has had years of experience, i may finally understand why he doesn't talk to me very much at all during.

That being said, this is unfortunately why i have not been able to attain deep subspace with my Daddy ( i enjoy myself but don't get 'there"). i NEED to be talked to, in a really nasty way as well as a comfoting way, that all of the nastiness is a good thing and pleasing.... i need to hear those whispers of menacing love in my ears. Otherwise the sensation alone just isn't enough for me. It isn't mental or emotional enough and there is an old saying someone told me a long time ago...

A man falls in love with what he sees, a woman falls in love with what she hears.

This is me...i am driven  mentally,emotionally and sexually from sounds. The sound of my Master/Daddy's voice was initially one of the things that drew me deeply into him.i was almost afraid to hear it at first, knowing that if it matched the way he looked that i was a gonner.

Anyway, now i'm rambling.

edited for spelling

< Message edited by charismagirrl -- 4/25/2007 11:09:38 AM >

_____________________________

For today i won't say but...
For today i wont say just...
For today i will simply obey....
For today i will trust that You are right...
For always i will be your imperfect slave

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(in reply to santalia)
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RE: Talking - 4/25/2007 11:15:13 AM   
Casie


Posts: 450
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline 		Depends on the scene it's self

(in reply to charismagirrl)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Talking - 4/25/2007 11:52:53 AM   
sunfleur


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline 		general chit chat would be quite distracting to me.  however give and take communication i find to be essential.   being a diabetic, i really need to be 'checked in  with' to make sure i'm not experience a drop in blood sugar, which can leave me mentally and physically unable to communicate.. which is dangerous.
music in the background is fabulous.

(in reply to Casie)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Talking - 4/25/2007 12:07:27 PM   
MellowSir


Posts: 260
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		I love to talk, both during scening and at any other time. A little less necessary while scening, if one reads body language well, yet none of us are mind-readers so talking is essential to gauging each others' mental/emotional states.....If I don't feel free to talk at any time and my sub doesn't (unless she's commanded to silence), then to me it speaks of a lack of trust.....

(in reply to sunfleur)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Talking - 4/25/2007 12:15:29 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		-fast reply-

While we haven't really done any scenes that 'required' communication, He seems to enjoy talking during the scene and likes me to be somewhat active in it.  It is rarely a 'You stand there and I get to beat you.  Whee!' type of thing even though those are the types of activies that send me to space much more quickly.  It gets on my nerves to constantly be asked questions, especially 'Are you okay?'  or 'Does that hurt?'  You are hitting me and biting me and pinching me---it hurts!  I can get to a point where my head is kind of...airy and the pain starts to feel good and sometimes I think he purposefully talks to me during a scene to keep me to getting from a point where it stops hurting. 

So no, I am not a huge fan of talking most of the time.



_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to Casie)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Talking - 4/25/2007 12:38:31 PM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

It gets on my nerves to constantly be asked questions, especially 'Are you okay?' or 'Does that hurt?'

OMG i totally know how you feel about this(isnt that what safe words are for?).....sorry that wasnt really on topic*

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 20
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