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How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 9:10:36 AM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
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Disclaimer: I have always maintained that I am (to some degree) a misogynist....

I have been greatly saddened to observe that if you get any number of female submissives together (and yes, it does seem to be more prevalent in the subcategory of submissive women, specifically) invariably, if there is not another element moderating the behavior (of either dominance by men or women), to reign in it all in if you will, the level of discussion will degrade down to giggling, sighing or panting girlieness, no matter the staidness or gravity of the original morsel tossed out for discussion.

Pat your hackles back down, girls... there are obvious exceptions to this observation.

However, that being said, I will note that for the most part this sort of innanity does not seem to happen amongst packs of dominant women, men or even to such a degree with submissive men. It also does not seem to happen so much in discussions where dominants add contributions. Which prompts me to ask... WTF?

(Perhaps the better question would be... why do I find it so vastly annoying?)

< Message edited by puella -- 4/24/2007 9:12:49 AM >

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

Post #: 1

RE: How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 9:15:00 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
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From: Pennsylvania
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Maybe their doms don't allow them to have any fun and that's the only time they can let go.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 2

RE: How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 9:15:54 AM

puella

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Hmmm... maybe ... I am mulling over some theories of my own, but will hold out for a bit!

It has been my observation, however, that not of the women were/are owned.

< Message edited by puella -- 4/24/2007 9:18:44 AM >

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 3

RE: How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 9:18:07 AM

selfbnd411

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What would you like them to do?

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 4

RE: How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 9:18:22 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

I have been greatly saddened to observe that if you get any number of female submissives together (and yes, it does seem to be more prevalent in the subcategory of submissive women, specifically) invariably, if there is not another element moderating the behavior (of either dominance by men or women), to reign in it all in if you will, the level of discussion will degrade down to giggling, sighing or panting girlieness, no matter the staidness or gravity of the original morsel tossed out for discussion.

I rather love panting and sighing with girlieness... how about you all come over to my house on Saturday and we can do each other's hair, makeup and nails... tell ghost stories, eat smores, and crank call the moderators?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 5

RE: How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 9:19:43 AM

puella

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Now, don't go ruining the thread with such questions! lol

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

(in reply to selfbnd411)

Post #: 6

RE: How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 9:20:50 AM

KatyLied

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Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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I've met a few subs from this site and we've gotten together for dinner and cocktails, we've never gone silly though. We tend to talk about the lifestyle, our lives and yes, we do talk about some people on the boards too.
I've had far worse experiences at munches, as far an inappropriate behavior goes.

< Message edited by KatyLied -- 4/24/2007 9:21:21 AM >

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 7

RE: How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 9:21:32 AM

selfbnd411

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Hehe! Well it's a legit question, imo. If you're unhappy that they act girly, then you probably have some idea of what they should be doing. Small talk?

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 8

RE: How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 9:24:03 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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It happens, just not in the same way.

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RE: How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 9:24:43 AM

puella

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I have no problem with girliness in and of itself; that was not the actual point of contention in the OP.

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

(in reply to selfbnd411)

Post #: 10

RE: How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 9:25:44 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I've met a few subs from this site and we've gotten together for dinner and cocktails, we've never gone silly though. We tend to talk about the lifestyle, our lives and yes, we do talk about some people on the boards too.
I've had far worse experiences at munches, as far an inappropriate behavior goes.

Actually I have not noticed a lot of giggly type behavior...I have noticed joking, and I rather enjoy that... but dominants joke on here too.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 11

RE: How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 9:26:30 AM

puella

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I suppose you do have a point there.... Might be an idea for an opposing point of view OP....

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 12

RE: How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 9:27:35 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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Well my answer will certainly not win me any fast friends.....

I believe that you see it more within the female submissive community because this lifestyle attracts many women who are here searching for someone to take care of them and assume responsibility for them because, for whatever reasons, they are lacking the maturity and skills necessary to be responsible for themselves. Now I am NOT saying that submission is related to immaturity or that we are all immature....only that this environment is ripe to attract those who are. Not to mention that "giggly girlishness" is often times a behavior that is viewed as "cute" by many Dominants....and even sometimes encouraged.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 13

RE: How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 9:32:21 AM

Bella1965

Posts: 285
Joined: 12/12/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

G'afternoon all:

Puella, you're not the only person that has noticed such. I find it's not confined to just submissive women without dominant supervision. It's quite prevalent in the mundane or vanilla world. Hence why I tend to socialize better with men, of any orientation.

I believe it's partly due to societal influences, some portion domestic upbringing, and to a degree, gender specific predilection. Females (notice I didn't say women), are raised to seek protection and security under the wing of a male figure. Whether it be financial, emotional, physical or spiritual, we're taught from get go to find a male to provide such. During the maturation process, we learn to do for ourselves and appreciate it. Some females sadly, never break the chains that bind them to this outdated mode of thought and behave in the mold that they were fashioned.

There's nothing wrong with female bonding activities. I just find most of the giggly, panting, sighing behavior rather silly. Most of the time? I'd like to shake some sense into the ones making us look like air heads. The rest, I'd like to teach them to park or drive, mon dieu.

Thank you Puella for a great topic. I always enjoy reading your posts.

Stay safe, play nice & share your toys w/ others...

Bella

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 14

RE: How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 9:33:04 AM

selfbnd411

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Joined: 7/23/2005
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Stop dodging the question puella!

I really wanna know what people think subs (females or males) should be doing during what sounds like a relatively normal social interaction with peers. I mean, you can't talk politics anymore--dissenting viewpoints are not to be tolerated. You can talk about the lifestyle I suppose. You could talk about family and friends. But can we all honestly say that there's no time left in our lives for random silliness? If they're having fun, what's wrong with that?

Edit: I wanted to add that men do this kind of thing too. Ever seen a group of guys playing "can you top this?" Guys don't usually get giggly, but we have our random stupidity too. It's fun!

< Message edited by selfbnd411 -- 4/24/2007 9:34:34 AM >

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 15

RE: How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 9:40:07 AM

KeirasSecret

Posts: 415
Joined: 8/17/2006
From: central NH
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I gave up asking "why" as it pertains to any group. The answers are many and the possibilities; more.

quote:

(Perhaps the better question would be... why do I find it so vastly annoying?)

I find, as a general rule, that kind of activity only causes a clutter of unnecessary information that gets mixed in with what I consider important things to think about, but since it only hurts when I do this *sticks finger in eye*, I just don’t do that. :)

Be well,

_____________________________

It apears to me, the practice of "an eye for an eye" has finally taken it's toll; the majority are now walking around blind.

Bitching; whining in a louder voice.

If the truth hurts, change it!

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 16

RE: How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 10:14:23 AM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

IMO, this behavior is a combination of "inner child let out to play"
+ group think + cocktails.

I only have a few people with whom I can totally relax and be
silly and laugh at stupid stuff. I never was a girly-girl, which was
what was expected of me; always was a geeky, creative, tom-boy.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 17

RE: How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 10:18:18 AM

Rule

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Joined: 12/5/2005
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Subs just are. I expect far more substance in slaves.

I have no idea why there should be such a difference between female and male subs. I suppose, though, that the difference is caused by the different female and male structure of the brains, causing males to be inherently more rational than similar type females.

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 18

RE: How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 10:22:07 AM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
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I doubt very much that I am applying the same yard stick to measure who is good enough to be 'slave worthy' in your opinion, but I can assure you that my OP was not discriminating against owned property.... I use the term submissive women to describe an organic nature in a woman, not a caste system by which you can rate them for your own needs.

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

(in reply to Rule)

Post #: 19

RE: How not to make friends and alienate like peoples.... - 4/24/2007 10:26:52 AM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
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Rule,

I must differ with that point of view. Ask any Mistress about
how impulse-driven and fantasy based most male subs/slaves
are in their approach to dominant women and their behavior
when left to their own devices.

Regards,

Vendaval

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Rule)

Post #: 20

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