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ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 9:56:19 AM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

Well, it's been a while since I've spelunked in here.

And something has come up to make me wonder.

I've just gotten engaged. (Sunday)

I've always seen people making comments about the similarities between getting collared and getting married.

Now that I am engaged, I see and feel some of the similarities, but I'm also now noticing the differences as well, and what they mean to me.

I'm curious to see what other people think, and their own personal experiences with the two.

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

Post #: 1

RE: ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 10:00:10 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

http://www.collarchat.com/m_291301/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#291301
Collar vs Wedding Ring

http://www.collarchat.com/m_247668/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#247668
ring or collar, what's the difference?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 2

RE: ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 10:06:42 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

There's a bunch of legal differences...there can also be spiritual differences.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 3

RE: ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 10:32:56 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Congratulations.

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 4

RE: ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 10:35:18 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Congratulations and best wishes for a wonderful future.

To me, a collar and an engagement ring have very little in common. An engagement ring is a symbol of the promise for a legally-binding union.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 5

RE: ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 10:35:47 AM

imthatacheyouhav

Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

Congratulations. i wish you much happiness ....

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 6

RE: ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 10:45:56 AM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

There were only a few long-term dominants in my life, and the one that I tried to mantain a TPE with was kind of an abusive jerk. My wife isn't very dominant, though she subs beautifully - well, in the bedroom, any way. As a household, she's always been the primary breadwinner and the head of household. I mostly cook and clean and odd-job on the side to make ends meet. Any way, The first, knee-jerk response that flashed through my mind on the differences is that having the ring means having someone who really is there for the long haul, and who won't decide to dismiss me simply because we've had a disagreement. That's not really fair, though, since I had a bad experience in a TPE and I'm having a fricking wonderful experience as a married man. Of course, your mileage may, can, and in fact will vary.

Congratulations, by the way! I wish you both the best!

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Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 7

RE: ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 10:48:44 AM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

Fast Reply

Aside from the obvious legal implications.

The emotion and the love behind an engagement ring or a marriage and the similarities and the differences to a collaring, which goes without saying more often than not has some sort of emotional reasoning behind it.

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)

Post #: 8

RE: ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 10:50:44 AM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

Fast Reply

Thanks for the congrats btw!

lol

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 9

RE: ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 11:13:28 AM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

Congratulations!

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Post #: 10

RE: ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 11:20:04 AM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

Congratulations on your engagement and best wishes for a happy life with your husband.

The obvious difference, in practical terms, is that it's legally much easier and cheaper to remove a collar than a wedding ring. There are, of course, lots of other legal and financial differences involved in being married that don't apply to being a slave or submissive. But, for me, the happiness and commitment i felt being given a collar from my Master declaring His ownership over me was even more special than when i was given an engagement ring from my fiancé declaring his wish to marry me.

It really depends on how the two of you feel about each other and how you see your future together. The ring (or collar) is just a symbol of those feelings you have for each other and what you want to have with each other. Of course, there are also other uses for a collar that aren't possible with a ring, such as attaching a leash or chain to it, for example.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

Well, it's been a while since I've spelunked in here.

And something has come up to make me wonder.

I've just gotten engaged. (Sunday)

I've always seen people making comments about the similarities between getting collared and getting married.

Now that I am engaged, I see and feel some of the similarities, but I'm also now noticing the differences as well, and what they mean to me.

I'm curious to see what other people think, and their own personal experiences with the two.

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 11

RE: ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 11:27:09 AM

szobras

Posts: 435
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline

Congratulations Aine,
My wife is a switch, and we were married as equals. The view point that I may offer is that our "ring" symbolizes all the elements. Devotion, honesty, loyalty, ect... though based on an equal balance of authority.

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 12

RE: ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 1:04:42 PM

Casie

Posts: 450
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline

Many congrats. The biggest differnence is obviously legal, and spirtual (for some).

(in reply to szobras)

Post #: 13

RE: ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 3:40:03 PM

SunNMoon

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

Congratulations!

I'm not collared or married so I'm not sure how I would feel.

Again congratulations, wishing you years of happiness.

Kat

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 14

RE: ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 4:33:25 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

Congratulations on your engagement!

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Post #: 15

RE: ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 4:43:34 PM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

Giving somebody a ring or collar them is relationship commitment.
Even more so when it's an engagement or wedding ring. All in all a
band is a band with a meaning.

Congratulations!

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 16

RE: ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 4:54:57 PM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

they're the same in spirit, kind of, but not really...

in my opinion, if you get divorced, you can at least sell the ring; the only thing you can do with the collar is put it on your dog!

i'll take the ring thanks! besides, that's something i would wear
in public and actually feel like my dom thought i was worth something, in leiu of something he bought from the pet store, said some fancy words, then put on my neck; but that's just me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

Well, it's been a while since I've spelunked in here.

And something has come up to make me wonder.

I've just gotten engaged. (Sunday)

I've always seen people making comments about the similarities between getting collared and getting married.

Now that I am engaged, I see and feel some of the similarities, but I'm also now noticing the differences as well, and what they mean to me.

I'm curious to see what other people think, and their own personal experiences with the two.

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 17

RE: ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 6:10:54 PM

outlier

Posts: 1111
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

Hello Witty Lady and CONGRADULATIONS!

The engagement and marriage mean what you two, the law
your church etc. says it means. The collar is up to you two.

I would suggest that you talk this over with the lucky fellow.

Obviously, since there is no outside law or authority involved
it will mean what the two of you make it mean. Trite but true,
and therefore worth some serious talk between the two of you.

Have a grand life together.
Outlier

< Message edited by outlier -- 4/24/2007 6:54:50 PM >

_____________________________

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"A happy sex life may take years to achieve, but it’s worth it in the long run.
Worth the time, the thought - or rather, the thoughtfulness - and, often,
the waiting." Pete Seeger

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 18

RE: ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 6:43:11 PM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

Is it just me, or are most of the people posting to this thread (well intentioned as they are) not really getting the OP's question?
It's funny that you would ask this question because I have been thinking about this same question.
The answer I decided I like is that being collared is much the same as declaring a commitment (ie: going steady) to each other.
An engagement ring means what it has always meant. A promise of a future legal and/or religious ceremony sanctioned by church(temple, mosque whatever) and state AND most likely, your family.
Of course, I may have totally missed the point of the question as well, but this is how I interpreted it.

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 19

RE: ring vs collar - 4/24/2007 6:58:54 PM

slave2MasterD

Posts: 28
Joined: 3/12/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

Well, it's been a while since I've spelunked in here.

And something has come up to make me wonder.

I've just gotten engaged. (Sunday)

I've always seen people making comments about the similarities between getting collared and getting married.

Now that I am engaged, I see and feel some of the similarities, but I'm also now noticing the differences as well, and what they mean to me.

I'm curious to see what other people think, and their own personal experiences with the two.

Hello Aine and congratulations!

i've never been married - was engaged once many MANY moons ago. i haven't been formally collared but have been with the same Master for 3 years and we have an understanding while working toward the formal collaring.

That history now being related i will say that for me, Master's collar would mean possibly even a bit more to me than that engagement did years ago. i say that because i've come to know the differences in a relationship between equals (marriage) and one between Master/slave or Dominant/submissive.

i realize that there are many out there who scene or negotiate for single times or short term relationships. Some even get collared for a specific time-frame and if that's what they want, fine. But for me, a collar is a long-term (read lifetime) commitment. Trusting someone that completely, giving up all i am and can be to them is too important (for lack of a better word at the moment) to consider a temporary arrangement. Again, i say this is MY take and what works for me.

slave t

_____________________________

That which yields is not always weak.
--- Jacqueline Carey

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 20

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