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ORIGINAL: dprsub
What would you prefer I do? Be mad at her for being responsible? For not having enough time between cooking, cleaning, work, and her kids to come meet me?

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ORIGINAL: onceburned
No, you shouldn't be mad at her. But what I would expect you to do, as a caring friend, is to go to her and try to help her out. Not as a kinky thing but as a caring friend.

I was surprised to hear that your relationship was primarily online. I had a different picture altogether. But if you really care about her you will make an effort to be there for her, at least on occasion, and to help her out. And you would make it clear that you do not want kink during your visit. That is the way to show that you are a special friend.

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I really am not trying to be obnoxious, but I have to say it. You say you have lots of free time. I don't know if your occupation makes you relocatable. If it does, and only if it does, isn't this the kind of situation where if you truly cared for this Lady, and she was willing to make you a r/t sub, this is the instance where you being a service submissive makes sense? Although not "fun", serving her somewhat, helping her with the cooking, cleaning, and work, would give her time to spend with you. Wouldn't you want to do that for her, to help her, because you care for her, and because that would free her to spend time with you? And, if not relocatable, can you not understand now, why a r/t sub that provides service is so greatly appreciated, not as free labor, but as showing her you care and helping her to spend time with you? It's a circle, isnt' it???