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RE: Searching question. - 5/5/2005 9:11:30 AM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dprsub
What would you prefer I do? Be mad at her for being responsible? For not having enough time between cooking, cleaning, work, and her kids to come meet me?


No, you shouldn't be mad at her. But what I would expect you to do, as a caring friend, is to go to her and try to help her out. Not as a kinky thing but as a caring friend.

I was surprised to hear that your relationship was primarily online. I had a different picture altogether. But if you really care about her you will make an effort to be there for her, at least on occasion, and to help her out. And you would make it clear that you do not want kink during your visit. That is the way to show that you are a special friend.

(in reply to dprsub)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Searching question. - 5/5/2005 7:02:55 PM   
dprsub


Posts: 37
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onceburned
No, you shouldn't be mad at her. But what I would expect you to do, as a caring friend, is to go to her and try to help her out. Not as a kinky thing but as a caring friend.

I was surprised to hear that your relationship was primarily online. I had a different picture altogether. But if you really care about her you will make an effort to be there for her, at least on occasion, and to help her out. And you would make it clear that you do not want kink during your visit. That is the way to show that you are a special friend.


I would like to, and I did tell her I wanted to see her, but she said "sometime, I promise". I can't simply invite myself over to her place. Maybe I need to be more clear to her that it can be a mundane thing, I don't know. And I won't know until she replies again.

quote:



I really am not trying to be obnoxious, but I have to say it. You say you have lots of free time. I don't know if your occupation makes you relocatable. If it does, and only if it does, isn't this the kind of situation where if you truly cared for this Lady, and she was willing to make you a r/t sub, this is the instance where you being a service submissive makes sense? Although not "fun", serving her somewhat, helping her with the cooking, cleaning, and work, would give her time to spend with you. Wouldn't you want to do that for her, to help her, because you care for her, and because that would free her to spend time with you? And, if not relocatable, can you not understand now, why a r/t sub that provides service is so greatly appreciated, not as free labor, but as showing her you care and helping her to spend time with you? It's a circle, isnt' it???


I don't have lots of free time in small doses; I have to be at work each weekday, of course. Neither one of us has much money once the bills are done, and so I can't do something really interesting like rent a hotel and fly out to her. She often cites not having someone to look after the kids as another obstacle, too.

I need to just leave all this alone for now and take care of real life. I've felt sick to my stomach since yesterday from distress, and only managed to sleep for 3 hours last night. I'm sure you all can understand why I have to go dormant.

(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Searching question. - 5/6/2005 9:55:08 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline
Why would any one want someone who doesn't have anything to offer


< Message edited by FelinePersuasion -- 5/6/2005 9:56:33 PM >

(in reply to simplemaleslave)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Searching question. - 5/7/2005 5:57:23 AM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
Feline, I even tried to point out that the very reasons she could not make time for him were the very reasons he should be able to see the worthiness of providing service to her to help her. Even though he quoted me in his last reply, it was for travel purposes, he never actually answered my questions, or addressed whether or not he saw that all of us,(including you in this reply), had valid points to make about service. Oh well, I guess he has gone dormant, (according to him) , so I guess we will not find that out.


You can lead a horse to water...........

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 64
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