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RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 4/30/2007 7:55:42 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Can't I be sadistic and sensual?

D~

(in reply to MellowSir)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 4/30/2007 6:43:35 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir

Just wondering which type of dominant submissives prefer.


If you tell me which type of (wo)man a vanilla prefers, I'll tell you a BDSM stereotype.

quote:

In the vanilla world it appears there are many more women with cruel men than there are with caring ones.


Whoa. I think we're hanging in quite different circles, if you're talking about vanillas. Yes, there are many who end up with domestic abuse, but not a majority, I think.

Just curious; have you considered that perhaps you attract the ones with cruel men? I find some of them tend to find me relaxing/calming/reassuring to be around, despite the fact that (unbeknownst to those of them who aren't into the scene) I'm probably as cruel as whoever they're with, if not more so, given consent to act that way.

quote:

We all know the cliche' that women like bad boys, does that equate with mean?


IMO, it relates to the primate alpha/beta dynamic, which wrt men "classically" (quoted because I don't think it has to be that way; ref. wolves vs sheepdogs) tends to mean "bad boys", and "mean boys" even more so. Guess that's why the serial killers get all those love letters. Attraction doesn't always behave reasonably.

Edit: I should probably clarify that "cruel" in reference to me generally means sadistic. I don't treat bottoms/subs/slaves with indifference, emotional abuse or lack of respect, unless that's something they've specifically requested.


< Message edited by Aswad -- 4/30/2007 6:50:16 PM >

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From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to MellowSir)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 4/30/2007 6:51:16 PM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		Good evening,
  i like bad boys but with a soft heart, if that ever makes sense, in a vanilla relationship. With this lifestyle i prefer more sensual but will endure some pain to please my Dom.

(in reply to MellowSir)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 4/30/2007 6:52:43 PM   
moki1984


Posts: 274
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline 		my dom is a sadist..he enjoys my whimpers and keeps thinking of new ways of hurting me.....but he is also extremely sensual and sweet.

i think one should be both

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 4/30/2007 6:59:49 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I am both, depending on the person I am dealing with at the time.  My sadistic side is not very often expressed, but it is there. Both have their merits and their place.

DV

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VampiresLair

(in reply to moki1984)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 4/30/2007 8:27:31 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		I like Master's sadistic side as well as his sensual side. One minute he will use the leather strap on me for whatever reason, and the next minute he wants me to cuddle on the bed so that he can feel me being close to him.

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You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 5/1/2007 4:58:28 AM   
Milivoje


Posts: 57
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
What most women want tends to be someone who will act mean and act nice depending on what will turn her on at that particular time :)

Some years ago I found out that "just being my self" works best.

Sometimes I like to be "cruel" sometimes I like to be "sensual", and if I do exactly what I want... it always comes out OK.

People should remember one thing, if 2 (or more) people are together and they like it, it is because they are compatible in most, if not all, things. So if you would like something in a particular time, most likely your partner will enjoy the same thing at the same time.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 5/1/2007 5:01:29 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir
We all know the cliche' that women like bad boys, does that equate with mean?

Given all the threads we have with doms complaining that subs tell them they are "too nice" I'd say more than likely.

What most women want tends to be someone who will act mean and act nice depending on what will turn her on at that particular time :)


Lol. Ouch.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 5/7/2007 6:23:32 AM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir

Just wondering which type of dominant submissives prefer. In the vanilla world it appears there are many more women with cruel men than there are with caring ones. Does this carry over to bdsm circles as well? We all know the cliche' that women like bad boys, does that equate with mean?


i like a combination. i like Master to know what's appropriate and when. Without tenderness and care, His "cruelty" would scare the bjesus out of me. Without the cruelty, His care and tenderness would bore me to tears.

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She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to MellowSir)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 5/7/2007 4:58:47 PM   
soulfulkitten


Posts: 27
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline 		If I had to make a choice, I would choose a sadistic Dominant.

I have met many sensual Doms, and been told they could never cause me pain.  That is just not an option for me.  Not that I require it always or on any type of consistant basis but I could not rule it out of my life forever. 

I do not equate sadism with being mean...though I have been on the receiving end of things from a mean Dominant who was also sadistic.

(in reply to MellowSir)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 5/7/2007 5:06:00 PM   
WiseCracknSadist


Posts: 163
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline 		You never see fun loving Dom. Is that like an oxymoron? You can't crack jokes and a whip? I enjoy both and according to whether or not my jokes are good both could be viewed as torture.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 5/11/2007 10:58:26 PM   
Indemnis


Posts: 179
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		I definately prefer a mixture of the two, like my own D... but then, I'm a little bit of a masochist. :)

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 5/11/2007 11:02:14 PM   
minnetar


Posts: 1272
Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir

Just wondering which type of dominant submissives prefer. In the vanilla world it appears there are many more women with cruel men than there are with caring ones. Does this carry over to bdsm circles as well? We all know the cliche' that women like bad boys, does that equate with mean?


i have never been into bad boys or rude Doms.  i want a sensual Dom.

minnetar

(in reply to MellowSir)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 5/14/2007 11:50:23 PM   
babygurl4daddy


Posts: 19
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline 		my daddy is definitely sadistic. He even has laughed at the sight of seeing me be humiliated or uncomfortable. But I know this turns him on, so it turns me on. True, I would like to be his babygirl, rocked and cuddled and given a bottle and tucked into bed. But as 'mellowsir' said, yes, I have realized that I am attracted to the bad boys who are a challenge to gain sympathy from. It's a challenge to see emotion come out of them. But when it does you feel rewarded.. otherwise a nice sweet man would just get old after a while. Women like bad boys.. I have even had daddies who were wayyyyy too nice. I really enjoy a sadistic daddy dom who watches every move I make. It let's me know he cares about me... in wierd way I guess.
As long as he respects you there is no harm done.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 5/14/2007 11:54:42 PM   
greeneyes1962


Posts: 117
Joined: 9/7/2005
Status: offline 		Why does it have to be one or the other, why not a combination of both attributes?


(in reply to MellowSir)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 5/15/2007 1:15:13 PM   
meticulousgirl


Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline 		I enjoy both honestly.  There are times when my hormones just crave pain and humiliation and there are other times when i want to be with Him but i just dont want anything to hurt, but would rather just lay around or sit around and cuddle...i feel silly but my little girl comes out on occassion still and i'll go up to Him and hug Him because He's like a really tall teddy bear over me (I'm only 4"11).  I just like both sides dont know why....God I hope I'm not turning vanilla...lol

(in reply to MellowSir)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 5/18/2007 2:00:15 PM   
homework


Posts: 36
Joined: 11/11/2006
Status: offline 		i come from a place where scenes only happen once in awhile. out of those times He is only, what he calls sadisitc, once in a bluemoon. in our everyday life we are still working out what he wants from me, there are somethings that are established and i do get punished, but these come from a place of  tenderness to help me. to Him it is hard to really give me the sadistic beatings that i crave, it just isn't part of how He Doms. He is very sensual and more into other things that have nothing to do with the intense physical attention i would like receive  more often.i have learned that it is hard to be patient until this part of him is in the mood or until i find someone else to add to out mix who has no problem with being a sadist- but at this point i need the discipline of waiting. It has been good for someone like me, who is so new, to learn how long all of this can really take. i have to say that in all of this i have found that i like the balance between sadism and sensualness. not to say you can't do these things at the same time. just that my Dom doesn't do it very often.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 5/18/2007 5:53:57 PM   
pinksugarsub


Posts: 1224
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir

Just wondering which type of dominant submissives prefer. In the vanilla world it appears there are many more women with cruel men than there are with caring ones. Does this carry over to bdsm circles as well? We all know the cliche' that women like bad boys, does that equate with mean?


i think Yr mistaken in insinuating that sadists are cruel or lacking in sensuality.  i have sadist Friends and i know this is not the case for Them and i presume, for Others as well.
 
i think W/women are too diverse to make any meaningful statement about W/who attracts T/them.  However, at my house, the "bad boy" was a poser who served his purpose -- annoying parents -- until the unmentionable had left for college.

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(in reply to MellowSir)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 5/18/2007 6:59:21 PM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		I am finding myself to be a sensual masochist, so I guess I'm looking for a bit of both in a Mistress.

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(in reply to MellowSir)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom - 5/19/2007 12:41:20 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		 
It seems like many of the submissives on here are posting they like a sadistic Dom or a sensual Dom or one of both.

When exactly did it start being about what you want?

I missed the memo.

Sinergy

p.p.s.  I tend to personally identify more with the sensual Dom than the sadistic Dom, but strumpet was rather proud of the large bruises I gave her the time before last she was down in LA.


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"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
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(in reply to Kitte9)
Profile   Post #: 60
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