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lovetokissnylons -> RE: Posts you'd love to see from male subs (4/28/2007 5:56:24 PM)
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Good thread, with some thought-provoking and interesting and useful responses from both males and females, subs and Dommes.
I want to respond to Strike1's saying:
" How about a few saying what they have to offer, rather than WANT?"
While I agree that this is perfectly reasonable, especially if, like I am, you're a sub and want to attract a Domme (if you want to sell what Jane Smith buys, you've got to see the world through Jane Smith's eyes, and Jane, just like practically ALL of us, is pretty much constantly tuned in to the radio station WIFM -- as in What's In It For Me, so it would seem to be more intelligent to be customer oriented).......but I've also got to say that it's pretty difficult, almost to the point of being impossible, for some of us to feel comfortable in "advertising" what we have to offer. After all, we're taught not to brag or boast about ourselves.
This is even more true for those of us who are submissive -- in my case, and I'd bet it's the case for many others, the submissiveness is tied in with some strong feelings of inadequacy and shyness. And it doesn't seem too chivalrous, if we think about "serving" a woman, to be too public about our own qualities rather than being a whole lot more interested in our partner, what SHE wants, and what SHE thinks. So it's a little bit of a self-defeating cycle, it seems -- it's very reasonable that the Domme WANTS to hear what we have to offer, and if we DON'T be up-front about that then there's no special reason for the Domme to want us (esp. those of us who can't depend on our appearance alone making us desirable !) but for a lot of reasons -- and good reasons, I think -- we're reluctant to self-promote.
Don't know if this helps anybody else, but other responses to this thread have got me to thinking that the behavior that I'm talking about is more self-defeating than I'd realized.
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