quote:

ORIGINAL: KurtKaboom

I don't think there's a darn thing about my profile that indicates that I'm dominant in my relationships.
 
  <snort>  Yes Maam.  It has been a while since I perved you last Maam.  If a rewrite has already cut the volume, I'm late being right.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

Just wondering if anyone else has noticed this...I've recieved SEVERAL emails in the last week from men who are claim they are "male subs seeking female subs to dominate them". I'm having a hard time wrapping my blonde mind around this one.

They state they are sub males who want a sub female to "be their mistress." This makes no sense to me. What am I missing here?

On a similiar note, I have also been contacted this week by more than one "male dom" who spoke to me for a few moments and then stated "but oddly I feel submissive towards you and would love to have you as a mistress." Is this a weird ploy or are these people just confused?

I'm not into sub males or even switches so I'm really having a hard time getting this. Can someone explain this phenomenon? The emails I recieve are otherwise intelligently worded and polite but I just don't understand why a male sub would want a female sub to dom him...if I wanted male subs, I'd be listed as a domme!

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

If you will please notice, I did two things A) explained why one could believe you were looking for wank fodder and B) kept asking: What exactly do you want?

Now, I do not think he views himself to be submissive at all. Bottoming can be completely different then submission, just as topping can be completely from dominance. One does not require the other to exist. If a dominant enjoys the sensation of being cupped, why can he not order his submissive to do it? Why should he limit his options of sensations that he can feel? After all, isn't he in charge?

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ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

If you will please notice, I did two things A) explained why one could believe you were looking for wank fodder and B) kept asking: What exactly do you want?

Now, I do not think he views himself to be submissive at all. Bottoming can be completely different then submission, just as topping can be completely from dominance. One does not require the other to exist. If a dominant enjoys the sensation of being cupped, why can he not order his submissive to do it? Why should he limit his options of sensations that he can feel? After all, isn't he in charge?

While I agree with you in theory Aquatic, for *some* subs doing something like this would be outside their boundaries. For me, it is because the one time I tried it, I did not care for the reaction it inspired in me. It might sound horrible to say but I ended a relationship of almost 2yrs after he asked me to top him...it was just never the same for me again. I can't say "why", I just know that's how I felt.

For other subs, "sevice" topping may work for them (and that's good for them...to each their own, of course.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

If you will please notice, I did two things A) explained why one could believe you were looking for wank fodder and B) kept asking: What exactly do you want?

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Now, I do not think he views himself to be submissive at all. Bottoming can be completely different then submission, just as topping can be completely from dominance. One does not require the other to exist. If a dominant enjoys the sensation of being cupped, why can he not order his submissive to do it? Why should he limit his options of sensations that he can feel? After all, isn't he in charge?

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

If you will please notice, I did two things A) explained why one could believe you were looking for wank fodder and B) kept asking: What exactly do you want?

Now, I do not think he views himself to be submissive at all. Bottoming can be completely different then submission, just as topping can be completely from dominance. One does not require the other to exist. If a dominant enjoys the sensation of being cupped, why can he not order his submissive to do it? Why should he limit his options of sensations that he can feel? After all, isn't he in charge?

While I agree with you in theory Aquatic, for *some* subs doing something like this would be outside their boundaries. For me, it is because the one time I tried it, I did not care for the reaction it inspired in me. It might sound horrible to say but I ended a relationship of almost 2yrs after he asked me to top him...it was just never the same for me again. I can't say "why", I just know that's how I felt.

For other subs, "sevice" topping may work for them (and that's good for them...to each their own, of course.)

Which is fine. Just don't get into a relationship with a dominant who refuses to limit the variety of sensation he can experience. It's not a bad thing either way. I really don't view it as topping though. They give an order, it doesn't violate the agreed on limits, you obey.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KurtKaboom

He was just being rude- as he admitted to- in his response.  Something everyone here but you acknowledges.  Again, including him.
 
 
    I acknowledged your position.  I admitted nothing of the sort.  Putting words in the mouths of other posters is rude.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KurtKaboom

I'm rude?  The first reply in my most recent thread suggested I needed to be hit in the head with a baseball bat.

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ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

If you will please notice, I did two things A) explained why one could believe you were looking for wank fodder and B) kept asking: What exactly do you want?

And I've answered both.  Reread it if you must.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Now, I do not think he views himself to be submissive at all. Bottoming can be completely different then submission, just as topping can be completely from dominance. One does not require the other to exist. If a dominant enjoys the sensation of being cupped, why can he not order his submissive to do it? Why should he limit his options of sensations that he can feel? After all, isn't he in charge?

Of course.  However, this is the "General BDSM" forum, in which people talk about these sorts of things.  So I expressed interest and asked him..

Unless you can explain to me his exact reasonings on why he'd like to be a bottom, despite wanting to be dominant outside of the bedroom, you are not in a place to critize me for not knowing this.

I'm curious, as my alias implies is characteristic of my nature.  Some of us are here for reasons other than arguing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I think I just offered a pretty decent explaination. The sensation of being cupped or scratched is not beloved only by submissives and slaves. Why can a dominant not also enjoy these things?

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

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ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

If you will please notice, I did two things A) explained why one could believe you were looking for wank fodder and B) kept asking: What exactly do you want?

Now, I do not think he views himself to be submissive at all. Bottoming can be completely different then submission, just as topping can be completely from dominance. One does not require the other to exist. If a dominant enjoys the sensation of being cupped, why can he not order his submissive to do it? Why should he limit his options of sensations that he can feel? After all, isn't he in charge?

While I agree with you in theory Aquatic, for *some* subs doing something like this would be outside their boundaries. For me, it is because the one time I tried it, I did not care for the reaction it inspired in me. It might sound horrible to say but I ended a relationship of almost 2yrs after he asked me to top him...it was just never the same for me again. I can't say "why", I just know that's how I felt.

For other subs, "sevice" topping may work for them (and that's good for them...to each their own, of course.)

Which is fine. Just don't get into a relationship with a dominant who refuses to limit the variety of sensation he can experience. It's not a bad thing either way. I really don't view it as topping though. They give an order, it doesn't violate the agreed on limits, you obey.

Edited to add (sorry it's late and I don't think clearly sometimes): I do think that it would be different if I was asked to "dom" someone. I could not tie up Valyraen and play a scene with him as the "sub". But I could put cups on him, or run a spiked wheel over his back if told to. It feels great - hell I love it! I just don't understand not obeying in that situation.

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ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I think I just offered a pretty decent explaination. The sensation of being cupped or scratched is not beloved only by submissives and slaves. Why can a dominant not also enjoy these things?

A predominate reason for enjoying bottoming is the act of submission within it.  While it is true one may simply enjoy being chained down, for this to be enjoyed for a reason outside of submission is rather uncommon.  I am interested in knowing his reason for this.  Are you able to provide it?

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

You know... I had a nice long post written out about how I don't enjoy X,Y, Z during a scene because I just don't. I endure it because he likes it, but I don't enjoy it. I do enjoy A, B, and C, regardless if he is the one doing it or if it's just a friend doing it at a party. Then I realized that you probably won't take anything I have to say seriously.

Fuck it. All that I will say is that yes, there are doms out there who enjoy things like cupping and are very much a dom. I'm not giving their names because their confidence in me matters a lot more then illustrating some point to an unknown person on the net. Believe it or not.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

You know... I had a nice long post written out about how I don't enjoy X,Y, Z during a scene because I just don't. I endure it because he likes it, but I don't enjoy it. I do enjoy A, B, and C, regardless if he is the one doing it or if it's just a friend doing it at a party. Then I realized that you probably won't take anything I have to say seriously.

Fuck it. All that I will say is that yes, there are doms out there who enjoy things like cupping and are very much a dom. I'm not giving their names because their confidence in me matters a lot more then illustrating some point to an unknown person on the net. Believe it or not.

While it's all good and danddy you do not enjoy X, Y, Z during scene play, yet do enjoy A, B, C, and that you may know Dom's who are into bottom play, all of this is irrelevant.  I'm asking for his reasons for enjoying bottom play despite being dominant.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

Yes, it is strange.

I can see a couple possible explanations, depending on what he means by "bottom"ing.  Such as, perhaps, he's a masochist who enjoys having pain inflicted upon him, simply enjoying the physical feeling of pain despite being dominant.  Still, there's a couple reasons that this may be.

It seems many who have responded to him so far on the forums have viewed his profile and actions and deemed him as a likely fraud of a dominant.  After seeing his unexcused unwillingness to answer questions about the apparent conflict despite having willingly entered an arena where such things are to be discussed, and given the fact that male subs masquerading as dominants to find partners is quite common, I am feeling inclined to believe that he may, in fact, be less than forth-coming concerning his personality, whether through willful deception or a misunderstanding of his own self.
He strikes me as the bratty-sub sterotype.

In any case, I doubt he'll become more forthcoming, given his display of immaturity and as-of-yet unwillingness to express his own views.  This may be where it stands.