ownedgirlie -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (4/28/2007 1:49:29 PM)
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Going to answer regarding how it was for me: 1) Are you a Dom who likes to get to anal sex sooner or later? He wanted my submission. His use of my backside had to do with the fact that I had not experienced it before, and making it available to him was one of the many ways I expressed my submission to him. He took me anally the very first time he took me physically. 2) Is it the best "hole" of submission? (That was shrud, but if you have a different way of saying it, I'm all ears.) There is no "hole" of submission in our case. Submission comes from my heart and is who I am. He actually prefers doing other things to other holes to elicit a way of expressing my submission. But he will use this one any time he wants, and the pain of it in the beginning (little to no lube or stretching), without protesting, is an expression of submission. 3) Do you, as a dom, look for a girl who is into anal if that is a big plus for you? He will look for a girl who is willing to submit everything to him. It's not about the hole; it's about the submission. 4) Could you live without it if the woman just couldnt? He wouldn't buy into "couldn't." People have the ability to work past fears, traumas, etc. Unless someone physically was unable to provide a particular service, she would be expected to overcome her barriers and hurdles. For some this happens quickly, for others, not so quickly. He would not keep one who was unwilling to work toward that. 5) Do you consider the submissive woman more important than the submissive act of anal control? He considers the submissive heart over the physical. The physical is a way of expressing and demonstrating the emotiona/mental/spiritual. One who was willing to work to overcome barriers as part of her submission would go farther with him than one who was not. If I were to have told him, "I will never give you that, and I will not work to change that position," he would not have kept me - not because he wanted my ass, but because he wanted me to work toward overcoming what I need to, to submit to him fully. Any other thoughts? This goes back to what some say about it's not the "act" that is submissive but the motivation behind it. I had more fear of the belt than of him using my bottom side. I was beaten severely and regulalry with a belt as a youngster. My work to overcome this traumatic fear did more for him than actually striking the flesh. Would you find it within yourself to value her service as submissive and her womanhood, allowing her to know that is what you value first and foremost BEFORE you took her ass? I was very clear that what he wanted was my submission, and that working through my fears to open my backside to him was a way of demonstrating that. Or is the act of submitting her ass, a value you place on her service?? Again, it's not the physical act that shows her value to him; but the motivation behind it.
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