RE: in regards to anal and the sub

RE: in regards to anal and the sub (Full Version)

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Aswad -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (4/30/2007 7:13:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy And yes it is only fitting to receive a nice blow job after anal. Not something I'd put up as a "must", but definitely a "want", yes. Thought I'd second it since nobody else did.

juliaoceania -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (4/30/2007 7:54:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy She is giving everything up...There isn't exactly a time frame....But my patience would soon dwindle if the word "no" popped into the equation too many times. And yes it is only fitting to receive a nice blow job after anal. Nothing says submission more powerfully than a woman willing to lick her own shit off a dick, right? I mean, uber subs tend to not think of their own health and welfare for a blow job! That one is a hard limit for me, health and welfare is important to me, and I just do not want to get an ecoli infection. Thankfully I have a Dom that 1) thinks of it as an infection just waiting to happen 2) is revolted by that prospect which falls under scat play. But your kink is not my kink, although both of our kinks are ok. I just thought I would make this statement because many submissives read this form and I wanted to be sure they knew not all dominants desire scat play, and it is ok to have that as a hard limit.

ownedgirlie -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (4/30/2007 8:00:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania Nothing says submission more powerfully than a woman willing to lick her own shit off a dick, right? I mean, uber subs tend to not think of their own health and welfare for a blow job! Hmm but then you say... quote: But your kink is not my kink, although both of our kinks are ok. I just thought I would make this statement because many submissives read this form and I wanted to be sure they knew not all dominants desire scat play, and it is ok to have that as a hard limit. Your first comment made it sound not okay at all. And while I respect your opinion of not liking that task or even that you find it unhealthy, mocking those who do it ("uber slaves tend to not think of their own health and welfare for a blowjob!") is not something I am particularly appreciative of. Mind you, I realize the original statement and subsequent remarks are tongue & cheek, but I'm just sayin'.......

slaveish -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (4/30/2007 8:15:24 PM)
Master owns all of me. He is not overly interested in my ass but he loves oral. I am his oral pet. I am certain there will be a time he uses my ass (and god help me, he's a biiiiiiiiig boy) and it will be my pleasure to take what he has to give me. As with everything else, I am certain it will be quiet pleasurable.

juliaoceania -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (4/30/2007 9:43:38 PM)
His kink is ok. But it is not a mark of being submissive to do it

ownedgirlie -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (4/30/2007 9:51:01 PM)
True. It can be done with or without submissive intent. When I do it, it comes from an entirely submissive place. It's not something I would put on my list of kinky fun. But I'm not sure why it needs to be ridiculed. I didn't see anyone bragging about it or anything. Anyway, all's well, life is good, still luv ya, etc...End of hijack, live well, be peaceful. [;)]

myobedience -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (5/1/2007 6:41:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: myobedience Would you find it within yourself to value her service as submissive and her womanhood, allowing her to know that is what you value first and foremost BEFORE you took her ass? Or is the act of submitting her ass, a value you place on her service?? * sigh Its strange how threads take off on their own. But then a rope has many threads. I know Doms take what they want.... I know subs give/submit freely .... But I also know that a woman wants and needs, well most do anyway, that before a Dom takes that special last submssion "hole" in their body, she is wanted and needed, not for what she will give or submit, but for who she IS. Possibly I have no way to really make my "question" clear and I do appreciate all who contributed...as yes, when you are property, a submission gives/all. But hopefully there is a period from the time that you first met the other, to a time (unspecified) that a woman either begs to be owned or is told she is indeed the one the Dom wants to own, that the submission deepens. This is the period of time, I am actually asking about. Each Dom approaches a sub differently, esp if she is a potential s to his D. When I first met my Sir and sexually submitted to him, he did not take my ass...even tho both of us knew I enjoyed it as does he. We both consider it a special act of submission. We had been together several times before I begged him to take my ass and make it his...which to me, means I give myself totally. I wanted him to know all of me was for him. He just smiled and said, we'll see. When it was "complete," he whispered in my ear, I wanted you to know I wanted YOU, not your ass. He also told me that my ass was ONLY his, yes there would be times I was shared, under only HIS direction AND presence(a big thing for me), but no one would ever take my ass except him. I sobbed in his arms. I knew I was wanted for me, not for my sexual kink. I, as a submissive woman, was what he wanted and all else would come from that. Being wanted, knowing I am wanted for me makes my submission more powerful and gives me strength to continue to submit to him. Knowing I am wanted also gave me more respect and trust in him. Does any of this make sense?

ownedgirlie -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (5/1/2007 8:02:02 AM)
From your last post, it is my understanding that the "taking of your ass" had a special, possibly even sacred meaning to you ,and that his taking of it symbolized your relationship with him had evolved to a deeper level. I think you are asking this of others too (I could be wrong), but perhaps this particular act doesn't hold the same significance to others that you give it. Nothing wrong with that, but it may be why you're not receiving the answers you're looking for. My Master was the first to ever use my backside. He explored all my fears with me until they weren't fears anymore. The first time I served him in person, he used all my "access points" (hahaha, how's that for calling it) to establish ownership of me and that he will use what he wants, when he wants. This had nothing to do with valuing me as a person vs. me as a submissive. For me the two go hand in hand. Were I not submissive to him I would not be his and this would be a moot point for me.

IrishMist -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (5/1/2007 8:06:01 AM)
I have to agree with ownedgirlie here. It sounds like you have attatched a significance to the act;; yet others do not have the same outlook. As I said earlier, I don't find anything submissive in anal sex at all; not one bit. But that is most probably because I enjoy it alot and will often be the one to instigate it.

RavenMuse -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (5/1/2007 8:54:31 AM)
Given you are talking about the run up to submitting. It is rare for Me to have sex with someone who hasn't already submitted. If you are talking about the period between submission and earning My collar (First we are just learning if we want to move forward and they learn to trust, once they trust they submit and then the building begins in ernest. Once I am certain the relationship WILL go long term then the can earn My collar). Once they have submitted they are Mine and I will use all of My girl as and when it suits Me.

RKSJR -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (5/1/2007 11:12:55 AM)
I enjoy working into the topic slowly and it is only enjoyable if both parties are really into it...though must admit to not stopping until we are satisfied........

onestandingstill -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (5/1/2007 12:16:36 PM)
Before I became a sub 2/05 I was a full anal virgin. You're right in every single Dom in the whole world I've had contact with wanted my ass hole penetrated any way they thought they could convince me to think they could stick parts of themselves in there. I allowed some fingers and little toys when I was brand new thinking I had to to be a good girl. What I found is if you're not my owner I own my butt hole and stopped that about 2 months in. At that time I'd still only been penetrated about 5X and never by a cock. I made it a hard limit in casual play or dating, and something I reserved for a committed Owner only. My first Master wanted me to see lots of Doms and in that his big rule was no one or nothing goes in my ass as he fully owned that orifice for his own use only. He was only possessive of my asshole and nothing else. He of course not into scening or sex (found out the truth after 6mo of being with him) didn't use me there much and only had one guy screw my butt once and he himself did it twice in the 1-1/2 years I submitted to him. For him and I it indeed was the ultimate submission. It was the most submissive serving him thing I did that I did ONLY for his pleasure and got none out of myself. I'm a hygiene freak and the butt has so many unhealthy bacteria that can contaminate your twat in it I just freak out about germs worse then the biggest germaphobe you've ever met. Now I think if I'm dating someone I'm considering and am at the point of full contact I'll let them do the dirty ass contact if it so suits them (and we all know it will as99%of men seem to). I may not like it one bit, but I accept it's just most guys like ass fucking & penetration with objects and when you submit most take that to mean they should get in your ass as fast as they humanly can regardless of your personal preference. I agree most Doms bring up anal sex right off the bat like your pussy's an after thought at best. Some it's the fit, some it's the act, and some it's because you don't like it, and some enjoy subjecting you to it as it's about their pleasure and control. It's not emotionally damaging to me, but it is DISGUSTING!!! to me. I agree if you're a sub it's almost expected no matter how you feel about it personally. I accept it's the nature of the beast and I'll just have to learn to grin and bear it if I'm going to be a sub. suzanne

Shanghaid -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (5/3/2007 11:29:51 PM)
1) Are you a Dom who likes to get to anal sex sooner or later? I like anal sex. It depends on our confort level and her experience. 2) Is it the best "hole" of submission? (That was shrud, but if you have a different way of saying it, I'm all ears.) All of them. Not any one in particular. If the sub has some sort of hesitation to use one or another, that may be an attractive barrier to break-down as a dom. 3) Do you, as a dom, look for a girl who is into anal if that is a big plus for you? I like a sub who enjoys anal. That said, I'm a good teacher and patient. I've had subs & girlfriends who didn't 'do' anal. They came around. I'm not a horrible beast (usually). I can be slow and tender, when needed. 4) Could you live without it if the woman just couldnt? Yes, but I haven't met her yet. 5) Do you consider the submissive woman more important than the submissive act of anal control? You're asking if the pudding is more important than the entire meal. Balance in all things is important. The whole is more than a sum of the parts. Am gonna try to redirect the answers a bit more specifically.... Would you find it within yourself to value her service as submissive and her womanhood, allowing her to know that is what you value first and foremost BEFORE you took her ass? Or is the act of submitting her ass, a value you place on her service?? I think the questions come from a woman with a fear of anal sex. I'm guessing she's tried it once or twice with untalented novices and it was not pleasurable. That's unfortunate, but not unfixable. <shrug> I've done it. Oral? Anal? Vaginal? Sex is good! Good sex is great. Now, I'm generally talking about sex. They are all different and all good. The only thing I've never particularly enjoyed is a hand-job from a woman. Hell, I've been doing it for years and am MUCH better at it then they are. It does feel kinda nice... SCREEEETCH! Veering off-topic. SH'd

phoenixinchains -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (5/4/2007 7:18:39 AM)
odd, over on the Health furum, the general idea was that willingness to anal superceaded ability...

shyinini -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (5/5/2007 7:46:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Shanghaid I think the questions come from a woman with a fear of anal sex. I'm guessing she's tried it once or twice with untalented novices and it was not pleasurable. That's unfortunate, but not unfixable. <shrug> I've done it. SH'd Well, I happen to be the OP (see other post about name change) ~~ And I happen to love anal sex... much like a skull fuck or deepthroat fuck... it arouses me terribly. I was anally raped by an ex~nilla dude and when my ex~dom wanted my ass, I gave it. He PROMISED me my ass and his dick would be the only partners. He LIED !! I am also the one who started this thread. http://www.collarchat.com/m_983365/tm.htm One comment on that thread was... She enjoyed it at first but after awhile began to grow tired from it. After all, it was her Master she craved. .... it was VERY true of me. I could either keep up the hollow ritual of service while he gave me only crumples of control and barely communicated or I could stop groveling in the doormat I had allowed him to make of me. I made a 180 degree turn. When Sir found me, we discussed the former situation because it had really affected me. He is an entirely different kind of Dom... he keeps his word he is trustworthy he is faithful and loyal he is honorable he is known in the community he has a good reputation he pays attention and communicates on many levels....... HE TAKES HIS RESPONSIBLITY SERIOUSLY.... Just the other day, he once again promised me, his cock and my ass would be the only partners..... and [;)] I provided a rim job and tongue job he had never had before.. to which his reply was, my ass is promised only to you. We will screen others for our favorite Domme, I will be shared (I think he has a gangbang in line for the future), but ONLY in his presence and my ass will NEVER be shared with anyone. Yes I realize pussy, mouth/throat and ass...all are cock~useable and an s-type and a D-type can do *anything* they like in their relationship or as bottom or top... But after the deception and lies and ways I allowed myself to be treated, my Sir is taking special notice to make sure I know HE takes his responsiblity seriously and there is something we share together that no one else is allowed to touch. His control of my ass is already pretty much known in the circle we are in. I just wanted other's ideas, opinions, concerns and thoughts before I even got around to sharing mine... thats how I am.... I might have my own ideas but I also want to learn from others.

Aswad -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (5/7/2007 9:24:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania Nothing says submission more powerfully than a woman willing to lick her own shit off a dick, right? I mean, uber subs tend to not think of their own health and welfare for a blow job! No need for the biting sarcasm. We all draw our lines with regard to what we consider "acceptable risk". Do you drive a car? Ever cross the road? Have electrical appliances in your house? We all take risks everyday, and some of us take greater risks than other. The risks of A2M aren't that big, all things considered, although they are greater than what most BDSM'ers appear to find acceptable. And, yeah, it's an act of submission. Just like taking it up the arse in the first place would be for a sub that doesn't appreciate anal. Setting aside your personal dislikes and/or limits to obey someone else is an act of submission. quote: But your kink is not my kink, although both of our kinks are ok. I just thought I would make this statement because many submissives read this form and I wanted to be sure they knew not all dominants desire scat play, and it is ok to have that as a hard limit. When did we get into the business of educating novices at the expense of debate among the more experienced people? I mean, educating novices is all fine and dandy, but there's no need to be so dismissive about someone else's preferences and/or practices in the interest of educating people. Just stating it can pose a risk would do the trick.

Aswad -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (5/7/2007 9:27:46 PM)
myobedience, Wonderful post. Thank you for sharing, and I'm glad you had such a powerful (sacred?) experience from it.

Rose4Mistress -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (5/7/2007 9:43:19 PM)
As for me, I have a HUGE phobia of ANYTHING going in my ass... I don't particularly know why, but it just makes me wig out a bit. However, for the right Domme, I may feel comfortable letting her "take" my ass. It wouldn't be on first play, it wouldn't be on 50th play...it would be something discussed and worked out over a long period of time. Some say that this isn't very "subby" of me, and that I should expect and accept that people are going to want to be in my ass in some form or another. But to me, this is a hard limit...it can be broken (maybe) but its not something I have any interest in trying. I literally break down in tears when someone even TRIES to get their finger in my ass. For me to let someone into that particular hole, there would have to be so much trust and love there. But thats just me. shivers

RavenMuse -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (5/8/2007 5:44:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rose4Mistress Some say that this isn't very "subby" of me, It doesn't make you less of a submissive at ALL. What it might do is cut down the number of Dominants you are compatable with but those compatable with you will understand and won't need it from you... not if it is a phobia. That falls under 'duty of care' and avoiding causing HARM. If it was something you just didn't LIKE then tough, but a phobia is quite diffrent. If I had found a girl with that kind of phobia, whilst I would have understood, we wouldn't be compatable because I'd simply find it too restricting not having access to ALL My girl.... but I certainly wouldn't have considered her any less of a sub/slave because of it, just not compatable for being MY sub/slave.

Aswad -> RE: in regards to anal and the sub (5/8/2007 8:01:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rose4Mistress As for me, I have a HUGE phobia of ANYTHING going in my ass... I don't particularly know why, but it just makes me wig out a bit. I may be a bit biased from dealing with some people that have anxiety disorders, and having a slave that needs at least four people to physically restrain her if she needs to get a shot or have a blood sample taken (along with losing bladder control and being inconsolably shook up for a day or two afterwards), but either you're understating "wig out a bit", or that's a fairly mild phobia. In the latter case, there are ways to deal with the phobia if you want to. A therapist that is used to working with sex topics can advice you on that. quote: Some say that this isn't very "subby" of me, and that I should expect and accept that people are going to want to be in my ass in some form or another. [...] But thats just me. shivers ~hug~ No, it's not just you. And, yes, you should expect and accept that some people are going to want to be in there. You should also know that you have the right to turn them down. If you feel that it is a problem, or that it is preventing you from being compatible with the partners you'd prefer to be with, then ask a therapist to help you deal with it. If not, just leave well enough alone. There's nothing wrong with not taking it every which way. Personally, I prefer rear entry, but I don't have a problem with someone saying "no", any more than I have a problem with the idea that I can't just knock them over the head and drag them back to my cave.

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