RE: 25 lbs? (Full Version)

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juliaoceania -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 8:49:37 AM)

quote:

me failing to provide 411 has nothing to do with it, i am no mind reader and certinally cannot determine what would be prevellent [sp?] or not. people jump to conclusions because they are unsatisfied with their own self some way and feel the need to project that outwards by instinctively assuming the worst.




Mixie, this sentence below, which you rightly edited out because it was not related to your question is what people were responding to. We write words to communicate ideas, and if our ideas are not communicated then we need to clarify. In my opinion I do think that it is not bitterness that is the catalyst for opinions that you are getting, it is your failure to communicate. I fail to communicate properly all the time, this is not a condemnation. The sentence I quoted below hints that you think A) he is superficial or B) finding ways to put off committing to you... we did not make that up or assume it... perhaps it was a joke on your part (hence the "lol" at the end) or perhaps it is something you have a deepseated fear of... I do not know, no one here knows, but it is a pretty straight forward statement that many of us picked up on,.. that is not our issue... just sayin

 
 
quote:

now.. the debate is, is He being purely superficial, or giving Himself a time span to prepare ? lol


 



mixielicous -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 8:49:53 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

if you're a happy cookie at 119 - 25lbs less would put you in the anorexic category unless 119 is your end goal.

145-25= 120, that is no where near anorexic for 5'4, LOL



marieToo -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 8:50:52 AM)

aww mixie----I'm not going to call your Master a superficial loser, or make some retarded claim that he doesn't love you correctly or enough.    
As one possibility, I was thinking that he might know you well enough to use whatever motivation will work for YOU.  If getting married is what you want, then that might be the greatest motivating factor to get you moving.  Possibly that is where your Master's head is at.  Another possibility that crosses my mind is that maybe it doesn't even bother him so much, but he is doing this because he knows it bothers you.  Or maybe he just wants his slave a little thinner for his own reasons; nothing wrong with that.  Again, I don't know him, or your relationship, so I will refrain from judgeing him, measuring the love in your relationship, and name calling in general.

We see on these boards every single day people talking about being molded and changed and following certain rules or requirements for whatever personal reasons they have within their relationships. I don't see the weight loss as any different; especially because you both want it.  I mean, it's a no-brainer.

I agree it's about being pleasing in as many ways possible, including being as pleasing as possible to his eyes.  Ok, we all only have so much to work with.  There are certain things we can't change. So you take what you have and make the best of it, so that you can be something he enjoys looking at and touching.  I don't see this effort as being any different than any other effort one might go through in order to please one's Dominant. 

Good luck with the 25. 



mixielicous -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 8:51:02 AM)

just because i have 2 paddles does not mean i know how forums work, thank you. to claim so is somewhat pompous, would you not agree?



kajiramre -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 8:52:13 AM)

I was one of those that thought I wasn't eating that badly, yet wasn't losing weight.   Then I found the 6 week body makeover diet.  I figured it was a gimmick, but for some reason I decided to try it.  It was hard at first, mainly because you eat every 2.5 - 3 hours and I had a tendency to forget.   Prep is the key to this "lifestyle change".  After the first week it is easier, and each subsequent week is easier.  After the initial weight loss (I lost 11 lbs the first week), you can expect a decent 1-3 lbs per week weight loss. In 6 weeks, I lost 35 lbs.  My doctor was thrilled.  I don't have any health problems from my weight, but my mom does and I don't want to in the future.   One thing that I had never really looked at is the amount of salt that is added to our food.    It might be worth looking into for some of you that say you eat well, exercise, yet still don't lose.   http://www.mybodymakeover.com/



mnottertail -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 8:53:03 AM)

Yanno, this is always gonna be the case. 'My Master is a divine sadist, but yours is a mysoginist and an abuser----'

I only long for the world being so brimmed with intrigue as it is made out, rather than random stupidity and flights of fancy.

Fuck it, let's get this back on topic and talk about how I can snag me some fat girls.

Ron the Munificent, and man of large appetite.


 



AquaticSub -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 8:55:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

hmmm dilema? ok, if you insist.

omg i am in such a dilema if i lose some weight i can get married!

ha.

i was just curious to peoples experience with the matter, i obviously need a "how to post clearly 101"

and superficial does not nesc hav to have such the negative connotation. i find the people who are arguing the validity of His request do not meet main stream ideals, and not that there is anything wrong with that, but maybe the life long battle for [self] acceptance has created a need to [forcibly] break down those mainstream barriers and in the process alienate the people to whom features are NOT a denied importance... much like modern feminism.


Hon, like I said, for most of my life I was thinner. I was the gorgous, itty-bitty tiny thing that you seem to view as so beautiful. I've still even got the pictures if you want them. I've never had to fight for social acceptance. I've never had a day in my life past middle school where there wasn't a man who wanted me. Usually multiple. Hell, if Valyraen dumped my nearly 200 pound ass right now, I've got a string of men and women I could call and have a warm bed tonight. So I feel no need to break down any barriers.

But I grew up around people with a lot of money, the sort of couples where the man can afford to tempt the younger girls. And I saw a lot of wives traded in for the younger model once they gained some weight, started to sag, get wrinkles... all that stuff. Sure his vanity will fade, they told themselves. At 40 and 45, looks won't matter as much! It's all a delusion Mixie. Talk to him and soon. Find out if he will really will still love you at 45, once you've had some kids (sometimes it really is impossible to lose baby fat without lipo). Otherwise, you may just be setting yourself up to be traded in for the next model. And I'd really hate to see that happen to you.



mixielicous -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 8:55:15 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

aww mixie----I'm not going to call your Master a superficial loser, or make some retarded claim that he doesn't love you correctly or enough.
As one possibility, I was thinking that he might know you well enough to use whatever motivation will work for YOU. If getting married is what you want, then that might be the greatest motivating factor to get you moving. Possibly that is where your Master's head is at. Another possibility that crosses my mind is that maybe it doesn't even bother him so much, but he is doing this because he knows it bothers you. Or maybe he just wants his slave a little thinner for his own reasons; nothing wrong with that. Again, I don't know him, or your relationship, so I will refrain from judgeing him, measuring the love in your relationship, and name calling in general.

We see on these boards every single day people talking about being molded and changed and following certain rules or requirements for whatever personal reasons they have within their relationships. I don't see the weight loss as any different; especially because you both want it. I mean, it's a no-brainer.

I agree it's about being pleasing in as many ways possible, including being as pleasing as possible to his eyes. Ok, we all only have so much to work with. There are certain things we can't change. So you take what you have and make the best of it, so that you can be something he enjoys looking at and touching. I don't see this effort as being any different than any other effort one might go through in order to please one's Dominant.

Good luck with the 25.

thank you! its not like we haven't found use for the fat, it makes for good humiliation play during scenes! nothing like a fatty grope to make me blush!



AquaticSub -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 8:56:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

just because i have 2 paddles does not mean i know how forums work, thank you. to claim so is somewhat pompous, would you not agree?


You've been around since 06. You've been active. You know damn well that people are going to post their opinions as they see it. You also know that if you don't give info, people will have to fill in the gaps.



ErusUxor -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 8:57:06 AM)

My thoughts exactly...tread cautiously.

Its great if you want to lose weight for your health, that should alway be the main motivator behind such endevours. But here is a question for you... is what if you get in a car accident and have facial scaring or worse an amputation or paralysis...will he stay? What if you need surgeries that leave there mark (my Master has had several over the last few years)... I love him enough for who he is that I know I would stay and vice versa...make sure thats the case in your situation before you marry.... because life happens.



GeekyGirl -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 8:57:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

hmmm dilema? ok, if you insist.

omg i am in such a dilema if i lose some weight i can get married!

ha.

i was just curious to peoples experience with the matter, i obviously need a "how to post clearly 101"

and superficial does not nesc hav to have such the negative connotation. i find the people who are arguing the validity of His request do not meet main stream ideals, and not that there is anything wrong with that, but maybe the life long battle for [self] acceptance has created a need to [forcibly] break down those mainstream barriers and in the process alienate the people to whom features are NOT a denied importance... much like modern feminism.


I won't argue with that statement. I know I do not meet many main stream ideals. However, I did meet them at one point in my past, and I have made a choice not to go back to that mind frame. I found a different mind frame and genuinely find my new view point superior to my old one.

We all battle for acceptance to a certain extent...I use to do this quite a bit. I finally reached a point where I decided it was a losing battle and now I mostly worry about the opinions of my friends and families as opposed to strangers. There are many things about me that the main stream don't accept, and my weight is just the least of them!

I would like to see mainstream barriers broken down to the point that people can truly be themselves without being forced into a certain mainstream mold.

When it comes to the weight issue, like I said, I've been on both sides of it. If anyone doesn't believe me, I'd be happy to PM pictures of me at a size 3. Where there advantages to be being a size 3? sure. Are there times I wish I was a size 3 again? Yep. However, I also saw a lot of disadvantages to it as well and I don't ever seriously aspire to that again. If you need to lose 25 lbs to be 120 that means you are about 145....I am about the same height as you and honestly, I consider 145 to be a very healthy and realistic goal weight. To want to be smaller than that, to me, reeks of vanity and selling out to our modern pro-skinny movement.

Being overweight isn't healthy. Nor is being thin. I desire to be in the middle. Sure sometimes I deal with bitterness from being heavy...but it actually has very little to do with my love life. My weight doesn't seem to have affected the quality of people I meet (if anything, I meet a higher quality of people.) My bitterness has a lot more to do with my personal goals and hobbies in reference to my horse back riding career and my belief that my weight is hindering me in a significant fashion.



mixielicous -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 8:58:41 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

hmmm dilema? ok, if you insist.

omg i am in such a dilema if i lose some weight i can get married!

ha.

i was just curious to peoples experience with the matter, i obviously need a "how to post clearly 101"

and superficial does not nesc hav to have such the negative connotation. i find the people who are arguing the validity of His request do not meet main stream ideals, and not that there is anything wrong with that, but maybe the life long battle for [self] acceptance has created a need to [forcibly] break down those mainstream barriers and in the process alienate the people to whom features are NOT a denied importance... much like modern feminism.


Hon, like I said, for most of my life I was thinner. I was the gorgous, itty-bitty tiny thing that you seem to view as so beautiful. I've still even got the pictures if you want them. I've never had to fight for social acceptance. I've never had a day in my life past middle school where there wasn't a man who wanted me. Usually multiple. Hell, if Valyraen dumped my nearly 200 pound ass right now, I've got a string of men and women I could call and have a warm bed tonight. So I feel no need to break down any barriers.

But I grew up around people with a lot of money, the sort of couples where the man can afford to tempt the younger girls. And I saw a lot of wives traded in for the younger model once they gained some weight, started to sag, get wrinkles... all that stuff. Sure his vanity will fade, they told themselves. At 40 and 45, looks won't matter as much! It's all a delusion Mixie. Talk to him and soon. Find out if he will really will still love you at 45, once you've had some kids (sometimes it really is impossible to lose baby fat without lipo). Otherwise, you may just be setting yourself up to be traded in for the next model. And I'd really hate to see that happen to you.

AS, here i can see your genuine concern [which is very often hard to do via forums] was your weight gain by choice, may i ask then?

whose to say He is any more superficial than me? Not i, because i cannot say that for sure. and heck, if i need to get lipo after the kids, He can pay for it, & would too.



shanaT -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 8:59:35 AM)

hi mixielicous

Girl weight is a number.....are you healthy?  What does your Dr. say?  Do you like you?  Excuse me for saying this....Who the fuck does he think he is?????  You marry a person because you love them warts and all.  Girl loose the weight for you if you truly need to loose it.  And then run....find yourself a Dom who deserves you.

sh'ana{T}



astarri -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 8:59:37 AM)

i think it is great you want to shed a few pounds that make you uncomfortable... and im sure the threat of not being married was a tactic to make you take it seriously. I am, however, concerned with a few of the assumptions you have made. at one point you said you are sure he over shot the goal ...what happens if you loose 15 pounds and are happy with how you look and cant seem to get rid of the last ten. I think you need to discuss the what-ifs even if you are frightened by them. I take what he says very literal and would be panicked personally and feel like a complete failure.
He says i am gorgeous exactly how i am but when i expressed my displeasure with how i look he took charge and is helping me to get to a place i will be satisfied. I am happy to have this support from him.  My will is stronger when he is behind it.
Good luck to ... though i do reiterate... talk to him. Better to be clear then disappointed later.



mixielicous -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 8:59:57 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ErusUxor

My thoughts exactly...tread cautiously.

Its great if you want to lose weight for your health, that should alway be the main motivator behind such endevours. But here is a question for you... is what if you get in a car accident and have facial scaring or worse an amputation or paralysis...will he stay? What if you need surgeries that leave there mark (my Master has had several over the last few years)... I love him enough for who he is that I know I would stay and vice versa...make sure thats the case in your situation before you marry.... because life happens.

i think the a;ready genetic disease that i have 50% chance of passing on, which He is aware of, is a true testament to His devotion.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 9:00:58 AM)

quote:

D said He would marry me if i lost 25 lbs... granted, this would only peg me 5 lbs lighter than when i first met Him [my profile weight is not accurate, lol but was at the time] it would take me down to .... 120/119 [very reasonable i am only 5'4]

Knowing your history Mixie, this is absolute bullshit.

You just had your one year anniversary a few weeks ago.  On that day he asked you to move out because of relationship issues.  The months leading up to that, you've had frequent communication, fulfillment and understanding issues. 

And for some reason now he's giving you this carrot over your head?  Marriage is NOT a carrot you hang over someone's head.  It's a mutual commitment you make to eachother.

He wants you to lose 25lbs?  Great, no problem and no argument from me.

How will that solve any of the problems you've been having over the past few months?

And why on earth attach it to marriage which he KNOWS you emotionally want from him, as a condition?

Utter pointless bullshit and I feel sorry for both of you for allowing yourselves to be involved in such a ridiculous situation.  The idea that adults would do this is just very saddening to me.

If I didn't know your history as you've posted here and on your LJ, I might give a different answer.  But I do know it, and knowing it leads me to all of this.



Slavetrainer2007 -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 9:02:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HutchGarahl

quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

Hutch, I'm not insulting Mixi (other than thinking she's making a poor choice.) I did insult her dom though. That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.


And opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. Still, it was not right for you to insult anyone, be it her or her Dom, specially not know either.
 
It's true, she came to the boards...posted what was on her mind knowing people would not agree with it. That's didn't give anyone the right to turn it into a board brawl and through insults. Disagreeing with someone is one thing, this has just gotten rediculous.


I agree,  mixie asked a question and she gave what she thought was relevant information.  everyone gave their opinions. but it was turned into a mudslinging match with mixie at the center.

The girl asked for opinions not to be  dragged through the mud with her Dom.  Mixie knows how the boards work. so why is everyone else turning it into a 3rd grade  fight?Boards are for discussions. If you cant play nice with others, you should go back to the kiddie table until you grow up and learn how to talk and communicate with other adults in an adult like manner.




mixielicous -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 9:03:18 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: astarri

i think it is great you want to shed a few pounds that make you uncomfortable... and im sure the threat of not being married was a tactic to make you take it seriously. I am, however, concerned with a few of the assumptions you have made. at one point you said you are sure he over shot the goal ...what happens if you loose 15 pounds and are happy with how you look and cant seem to get rid of the last ten. I think you need to discuss the what-ifs even if you are frightened by them. I take what he says very literal and would be panicked personally and feel like a complete failure.
He says i am gorgeous exactly how i am but when i expressed my displeasure with how i look he took charge and is helping me to get to a place i will be satisfied. I am happy to have this support from him. My will is stronger when he is behind it.
Good luck to ... though i do reiterate... talk to him. Better to be clear then disappointed later.


i would be willing to bring up this particular what-if scenario, thank you girl for your input.



MstrssPassion -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 9:03:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBBTBW

 the following is the only question you asked.
 
quote:

  D's out there: would you require something like this from your slave, before even formally proposing?



ummm... no, she edited her original post when her other questions were addressed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

D said He would marry me if i lost 25 lbs... granted, this would only peg me 5 lbs lighter than when i first met Him [my profile weight is not accurate, lol but was at the time] it would take me down to .... 120/119 [very reasonable i am only 5'4]

now.. the debate is, is He being purely superficial, or giving Himself a time span to prepare ? lol

[and no it was not a joke or teasing on His behalf]

the ideal trophy slave should weigh 119 ha


D's out there: would you require something like this from your slave, before even formally proposing?

i dont mind, its a great motivation to finally get on that diet!


This is what most of us read & what most of us were responding to. Posting requires not only proper spelling & punctuation, it requires writers to be very precise in what they are asking. The OP opened the flood gates on this one & then back peddled when she didn't get the replies she wanted.... well when she didn't as many of the types of replies she wanted. Some of us replied & if I were to go back & read them most of us said the same thing. The only way we would enforce some type of weight loss would be if it was a matter of health (life or death) & that we do not support this scenario which, with the info as it was provided, read to be nothing more than shallow, superficial vanity. The general population also think that by him placing these stipulations on a pending marriage are pretty lame as well.

** the following is personal opinion: I'm one that believes that a union, such as marriage, is because the couple accept one another unconditionally. There is enough stress placed upon a union such as this without these superficial conditions & by making weight loss such a priority it will create many issues of a shallow & selfish nature present through out the relationship. This is why I suggested that she & her partner sit down & have a big talk about what they common goals are & also to set up some very realistic parameters because if they don't they will inevitably have some rather trivial matters create major issues.



AquaticSub -> RE: 25 lbs? (4/29/2007 9:05:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous


quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Hon, like I said, for most of my life I was thinner. I was the gorgous, itty-bitty tiny thing that you seem to view as so beautiful. I've still even got the pictures if you want them. I've never had to fight for social acceptance. I've never had a day in my life past middle school where there wasn't a man who wanted me. Usually multiple. Hell, if Valyraen dumped my nearly 200 pound ass right now, I've got a string of men and women I could call and have a warm bed tonight. So I feel no need to break down any barriers.

But I grew up around people with a lot of money, the sort of couples where the man can afford to tempt the younger girls. And I saw a lot of wives traded in for the younger model once they gained some weight, started to sag, get wrinkles... all that stuff. Sure his vanity will fade, they told themselves. At 40 and 45, looks won't matter as much! It's all a delusion Mixie. Talk to him and soon. Find out if he will really will still love you at 45, once you've had some kids (sometimes it really is impossible to lose baby fat without lipo). Otherwise, you may just be setting yourself up to be traded in for the next model. And I'd really hate to see that happen to you.

AS, here i can see your genuine concern [which is very often hard to do via forums] was your weight gain by choice, may i ask then?

whose to say He is any more superficial than me? Not i, because i cannot say that for sure. and heck, if i need to get lipo after the kids, He can pay for it, & would too.


My weight was due to be taken off a drug for my ADHD, which curbed my desire to eat as a side effect. From third grade on, I never needed to learn how to eat well because I simply wasn't hungry enough. I had to force myself to eat to stay healthy. This coupled with the freshman 15 of college coupled no longer being in karate (I had moved out of state), coupled with hitting puberty late (it runs in my family) and having the genetics of sturdy women "born to walk behind the plow" equals = big boobs and a sturdy, curvy frame. At 190, my doctor wants me to lose a mere ten pounds to be healthy. I agree so we are working on it.

Mixie, I'm trying to show you that this stuff happens. I was gorgous in the way you are and things behind my control happened. I didn't want to go off that medicine - my body began to tolerate it and the dosing went up so high they were worried about giving me a stroke. And please, please, please don't treat plastic surgery lightly. It's still a surgery. The well to do people I grew up around were surgens. Please don't delude yourself into believing it is somethign to go into lightly as so many seem to do. Remember: If it were easy to do, if it were no big deal - they would be doing it at Wal-Mart.



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