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ORIGINAL: HisSongstress

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ORIGINAL: HutchGarahl

D's out there: would you require something like this from your slave, before even formally proposing?

No, I wouldn't. I see people from the inside, not what shows on the outside. Looks aren't that important to me. True, I wouldn't want someone who looked like a slob, but then again...even slobs can be fixed up to look like class.

So, you are willing to encourage changes in another? But it is just a matter of degree, perhaps.....

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ORIGINAL: HutchGarahl

Guys...calm down! She asked a simple question...

D's out there: would you require something like this from your slave, before even formally proposing?

She didn't ask if you thought it was superficial....she didn't ask if you thought it was wrong, although personally I do feel it is...and she certainaly didn't ask for this to turn into an all out board brawl. The insults between each other and against her is totally wrong.

She oviously knows herself and D enough to realize that even with his point of dangling the ring so to speak is not going to change even if she doesn't loose the weight. It's just giving her more incentive to do what she already seems to want on her own accord.

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

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ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Why is it shallow and superficial to want the one you love to look good and be healthy?

Losing 25 pounds to go down to 119 isn't a matter of health.

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slave2masterd was merely stating people tend to try to "force" their views on others.

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ORIGINAL: mixielicous

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ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

Because Mixi, that's not what happened. You didn't take it upon yourself to do and then get a surpise reward. He told you that he would marry you only if you did it. THAT's the part that bothers me. He's making a very nit picky trivial condition to be placed upon a very serious institution.

Had the scenario you described occured, that would be different. It would also be different had he pulled you aside and said, "I know you are uncomfortable about your weight and I love you and am concerned as well..what can I do to help you with your diet?"

But to dangle "the wedding carrot" is just wrong.

in fact, i have been trying for months to lose the weight. but its cool if you jump to conclusions, the internet is good for that!

and well, it may be a life time commitment [marriage] i dont think the "seriousness" of it really brings it home for me, being born and raised agnostic, sorry.

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Now I am leaning more towards considering myself a "sexual bottom."

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ORIGINAL: KatyLied

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Now I am leaning more towards considering myself a "sexual bottom."

I just start laughing as soon as people start waving the "true" flag of submission.  As if their relationship(s) and submission are of higher quality than anyone elses.  It's old, tired, and amusing.

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ORIGINAL: KatyLied

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Now I am leaning more towards considering myself a "sexual bottom."

I just start laughing as soon as people start waving the "true" flag of submission.  As if their relationship(s) and submission are of higher quality than anyone elses.  It's old, tired, and amusing.

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

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ORIGINAL: mixielicous

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ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

Because Mixi, that's not what happened. You didn't take it upon yourself to do and then get a surpise reward. He told you that he would marry you only if you did it. THAT's the part that bothers me. He's making a very nit picky trivial condition to be placed upon a very serious institution.

Had the scenario you described occured, that would be different. It would also be different had he pulled you aside and said, "I know you are uncomfortable about your weight and I love you and am concerned as well..what can I do to help you with your diet?"

But to dangle "the wedding carrot" is just wrong.

in fact, i have been trying for months to lose the weight. but its cool if you jump to conclusions, the internet is good for that!

and well, it may be a life time commitment [marriage] i dont think the "seriousness" of it really brings it home for me, being born and raised agnostic, sorry.

Your force people to jump to conclusions by failing to provide information.

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ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

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ORIGINAL: HutchGarahl

Guys...calm down! She asked a simple question...

D's out there: would you require something like this from your slave, before even formally proposing?
 
She didn't ask if you thought it was superficial....she didn't ask if you thought it was wrong, although personally I do feel it is...and she certainaly didn't ask for this to turn into an all out board brawl. The insults between each other and against her is totally wrong.
 
She oviously knows herself and D enough to realize that even with his point of dangling the ring so to speak is not going to change even if she doesn't loose the weight. It's just giving her more incentive to do what she already seems to want on her own accord.

Actually she did ask if it was superficial originally but she edited it later.

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ORIGINAL: mixielicous

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

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ORIGINAL: mixielicous

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ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

Because Mixi, that's not what happened. You didn't take it upon yourself to do and then get a surpise reward. He told you that he would marry you only if you did it. THAT's the part that bothers me. He's making a very nit picky trivial condition to be placed upon a very serious institution.

Had the scenario you described occured, that would be different. It would also be different had he pulled you aside and said, "I know you are uncomfortable about your weight and I love you and am concerned as well..what can I do to help you with your diet?"

But to dangle "the wedding carrot" is just wrong.

in fact, i have been trying for months to lose the weight. but its cool if you jump to conclusions, the internet is good for that!

and well, it may be a life time commitment [marriage] i dont think the "seriousness" of it really brings it home for me, being born and raised agnostic, sorry.

Your force people to jump to conclusions by failing to provide information.

me failing to provide 411 has nothing to do with it, i am no mind reader and certinally cannot determine what would be prevellent [sp?] or not. people jump to conclusions because they are unsatisfied with their own self some way and feel the need to project that outwards by instinctively assuming the worst.

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ORIGINAL: mixielicous

thank you songstress for your support!

i must remember although we are members in a "community" it it pretty much agreed upon across the board that no one should ever expect "support" from the CM boards!.

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  D's out there: would you require something like this from your slave, before even formally proposing?

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ORIGINAL: BBBTBW

Since he hasn't formally proposed, before the weight loss is he going to after the weight loss or is he going to find something else to use in the event he isn't quite ready.  Ask yourself when is enough enough?  How long are you going to jump thru hoops to get a wedding ring and an I DO?
 
With the understanding that you have been trying to get yourself back in shape(Thin is not necessarily in shape) previous, do you feel it necessary or fair for him  to dangle your heart in front of you.  What if something happens and you can't lose the weight, does that mean you will never be married? 
 
 
As far as trophies are concerned, they come in all shapes and sizes.  The question is, is the beholder of the trophy worthy of possessing it?
 
People from all walks of life have come to answer your question or comment on your posting.  Some older who have drawn on their experiences, some younger who draw upon their experiences.  It is fine to defend your Master but it is YOU who came forward with the information you chose to reveal and it is YOU who asked a question that was bound to get answers you didn't like.  It is also YOU who is not gracious enough to accept what you have been given in response to what YOU asked for.  Gleen the good and leave the bad laying in the street but don't alienate those that are drawing upon their experience to help you with your (so called) dilemma.

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ORIGINAL: mixielicous

D said He would marry me if i lost 25 lbs... granted, this would only peg me 5 lbs lighter than when i first met Him [my profile weight is not accurate, lol but was at the time] it would take me down to .... 120/119 [very reasonable i am only 5'4]



[and no it was not a joke or teasing on His behalf]

the ideal trophy slave should weigh 119 ha


D's out there: would you require something like this from your slave, before even formally proposing?

i dont mind, its a great motivation to finally get on that diet!

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ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

Hutch, I'm not insulting Mixi (other than thinking she's making a poor choice.) I did insult her dom though. That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.