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ORIGINAL: slave2MasterD

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

She brought it into the forum and like you she will have to hear the comments. Maybe you should read her past posts before being the all knowing. Being obedient and being bribed are different. Master asks me to do things for myself not to bribe me. Yes I am fat but I am also happy. I have lost weight but not because I was promised a marriage. I have that. So read the past before you put your ass on the line. I am not bitter just have been in this lifestyle 12 years and am realistic. I am all for being healthy just not for dangling a carrot in front of someone. Beauty is a subjective opinion. It is different for everyone.

Yes, it's subjective for everyone ... in THIS case, it's HER and her D's opinion that matter.  Just because you found someone who likes fat women doesn't mean they have to like it.
 
You are all insisting that she change her opinion of herself and her D to what YOU want/think/like.  No one said you have to like her or her life choices.
 
Ever read the fable of the fox and the grapes?  Because an awful lot of you sound like that fox right now.
 
Personally, i agree with her ... Master is 12 years younger than i and a personal trainer to boot.  He ran marathons as a younger man, spent 18 years in the Marine Corps and is in top physical condition; makes me (and every other woman in the room) drool everytime He walks into it.  If you all think that i'm going to settle for less just because you have, you've got another think coming.
 
Bring it on cause you know what? i don't have to read anything you write .. vent away, oh bitter BBW.
 
s2MD

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ORIGINAL: subfever

Oh great... another weight thread.

Weight thread: 100+ responses in less than two hours.

World issue thread: Only a tiny fraction of responses.  

quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever

Oh great... another weight thread.

Weight thread: 100+ responses in less than two hours.

World issue thread: Only a tiny fraction of responses.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

*fast reply*
I find it funny that we can all defend the control that we give doms over our lives in most aspects except for weight.  They can control what we wear, how we speak, how we sit, etc.  But mention weight and people freak out.  Why is it?  Is it because losing weight is probably one of the hardest physical things to do?  Is it because, if faced with that task, we would most likely fail?  I find nothing wrong with someone, especially if he were my dom, to expect me to look a certain way according to his criteria.  If his criteria were for me to be a certain weight and look a certain way, especially if that was how I looked when we first got together, then why is it shallow?  If mixi doesn't like his demands, then she has every right to walk.  Their dynamic is one that she has agreed to give him that aspect of control over her.  Why is that wrong?

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

slave trainer, thank you so much. i whole heartedly agree with your M/s ideology, and i think that is why so many women are disagreeing with me. it is not enough to be pure of heart in terms of desire for devotion, pampering & pleasing. IMO a slave who is the best that she can be mind, BODY, and soul [which is within my contract even] is the best slave of them all. and that includes aesthetically. you dont have to be beautiful, but yes you should be within wight range, or at least trying, keep yourself clean and proper, do your nails, get your hair done... but for me, thats what being a slave means. to be the best possible. and the fact that His request IMO is quite reasonable i embrace it and the fact that i am rewarded at all, is a pleasant surprise.

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ORIGINAL: mistoferin

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ORIGINAL: mixielicous
ok, the words "or i wont marry you" have never come into the equation. and who says marriage, something that we both already want CANT be a reward? isnt in the end the ULTIMATE reward?

Ok, now you are playing a game of semantics. You say to-may-to....I say to-mah-to. They are both the same thing.

No mixie, marriage is not a reward. It is not a prize. It is a commitment that should not be influenced by superficial.

If you already had your mind made up about how you feel on this and only plan to defend his actions then why on earth did you ask the question?

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ORIGINAL: HutchGarahl

I purposely waited to respond till after reading what others have said.....so here's my intake on this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous
D said He would marry me if i lost 25 lbs

Hun, unless this was something previously discussed BEFORE talking marriage, I would see this as a caution sign. Let's say you do loose the weight he's asked.....two years down the road you get pregnate, your going to gain more than 25lbs dear. Is he still going to love you for you and still want to remain married, or will he say you've gained the weight back, it's time to go?

[and no it was not a joke or teasing on His behalf]
the ideal trophy slave should weigh 119 ha

This to me would be another caution sign. You are a human hun, not a trophy.

D's out there: would you require something like this from your slave, before even formally proposing?

No, I wouldn't. I see people from the inside, not what shows on the outside. Looks aren't that important to me. True, I wouldn't want someone who looked like a slob, but then again...even slobs can be fixed up to look like class.

i dont mind, its a great motivation to finally get on that diet!

Motivations are great, so long as that's all this really is. Reading your words, I can tell that you do love D and you feel his feelings are mutual. Go with that for now. But I would suggest talking with him further on the idea of, and I know you don't care for the term..."What if" What his reaction would be if after marriage you gain back weight.

Let me ask you this....were you trying to loose weight before meeting D or was this something brought on after he collared you and gave his view on it? Don't get me wrong, I can see by your words that you really want to loose weight, and that's a good thing. But are you now honestly trying to loose for the right reasons? Sorry hun, but I have to agree on the fact of him dangling the ring is not a good thing. He should love and want to marry you regardless of wether you weight 119 or 319. Your size isn't what makes you, you are what made up by your charactor, personallity...stuff from inside.

Either way....best of luck to you on your goal to loose weight and hopefully you journey into becoming one with D.

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ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

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ORIGINAL: HutchGarahl

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ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

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ORIGINAL: mixielicous
well in the health and safety forum i found this diet and i am going to use it since no matter how hard i work i cant get the initial poundage off [i am very physical day to day and it should be starting to show, but isnt!] and plan on following it up with regular either, gym or in home workouts.. i eat healthy already, its just that i seem to be stuck in this rut, lol!

If you are eating well and exercising and not losing weight that indicates that you are at a healthy weight for your size.

That's not always true GeekyGirl. I eat healthy and exercise every day. Have been for almost 5 years now, but I cannot loose weight. I have had my thyroids checked and keep them checked, as of yet...nothing shows wrong. Doctors are baffled as to why the weight won't go down. I stand now at somewhere between 250 and 300. Is that ideal weight for someone who is only 5ft? Nope.

It depends on your definition of "eating well" though. I said the same thing you are saying "Gee doc, I eat good and exercise so why am I 200lbs?" Turns out that when I REALLY looked at my eating habits and kept careful track, I wasn't eating as good as I thought I was. I was forgetting to think about condiments, dressings, etc that might make my "healthy" food a lot higher calorie than I thought.
That said, I'm still having trouble losing but I recognize that mostly it is because of poor decisions I make.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

*fast reply*
I find it funny that we can all defend the control that we give doms over our lives in most aspects except for weight.  They can control what we wear, how we speak, how we sit, etc.  But mention weight and people freak out.  Why is it?  Is it because losing weight is probably one of the hardest physical things to do?  Is it because, if faced with that task, we would most likely fail?  I find nothing wrong with someone, especially if he were my dom, to expect me to look a certain way according to his criteria.  If his criteria were for me to be a certain weight and look a certain way, especially if that was how I looked when we first got together, then why is it shallow?  If mixi doesn't like his demands, then she has every right to walk.  Their dynamic is one that she has agreed to give him that aspect of control over her.  Why is that wrong?

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

Bring it on cause you know what? i don't have to read anything you write .. vent away, oh bitter BBW

 
That is just nasty and unkind, sweetnurse is indeed a sweetnurse, and I have never seen her post unkind nastiness like what I have just quoted above...

I would rather be fat than mean.

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ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

My entire objection is to bringing weight (a superficial concern when you're only dealing with 25lbs) into a discussion of something serious ie marriage.

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ORIGINAL: slave2MasterD

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ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

My entire objection is to bringing weight (a superficial concern when you're only dealing with 25lbs) into a discussion of something serious ie marriage.

And here we FINALLY get to the crux of your issues ... YOUR issues.  mixie's post was not a plea for you to pound her with YOUR issues.
 
From what i've read from and about you in the various threads on CM, you have all the wannabe Doms and play partners you want ,so leave her alone ... yes i said wannabe Doms; cause i have to say that the Masters and Doms i know (quite a few country/world-wide), none would have much to do with a submissive with all the demands you just listed in that post.
 
submissives and slaves are supposed to SERVE and OBEY Masters/Doms ... NOT tell Masters/Doms what the s/s will and will not do.  Negotiation is one thing, but you just want it all your own way.  Seems to me you're not a submissive, but a Domme in disguise.
 
sigh ...... sometimes i despair of the loss of true submission in the so-called subs and slaves of the day!
 
s2MD

quote:

You are all insisting that she change her opinion of herself and her D to what YOU want/think/like.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: slave2MasterD

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

She brought it into the forum and like you she will have to hear the comments. Maybe you should read her past posts before being the all knowing. Being obedient and being bribed are different. Master asks me to do things for myself not to bribe me. Yes I am fat but I am also happy. I have lost weight but not because I was promised a marriage. I have that. So read the past before you put your ass on the line. I am not bitter just have been in this lifestyle 12 years and am realistic. I am all for being healthy just not for dangling a carrot in front of someone. Beauty is a subjective opinion. It is different for everyone.

Yes, it's subjective for everyone ... in THIS case, it's HER and her D's opinion that matter.  Just because you found someone who likes fat women doesn't mean they have to like it.
 
You are all insisting that she change her opinion of herself and her D to what YOU want/think/like.  No one said you have to like her or her life choices.
 
Ever read the fable of the fox and the grapes?  Because an awful lot of you sound like that fox right now.
 
Personally, i agree with her ... Master is 12 years younger than i and a personal trainer to boot.  He ran marathons as a younger man, spent 18 years in the Marine Corps and is in top physical condition; makes me (and every other woman in the room) drool everytime He walks into it.  If you all think that i'm going to settle for less just because you have, you've got another think coming.
 
Bring it on cause you know what? i don't have to read anything you write .. vent away, oh bitter BBW.
 
s2MD

Grow up! I am not a bitter fat girl. I like myself and I am happy. Here is the reason why some have no business being in the lifestyle. I am pleasing to my Master and thats all that matters. Not some know it all attitude. Hopefully you will learn one day. You have alot of learning to do. Flame if you will, just makes you look bad. I have an opinion and will say it. Its not about being fat its about learning whats right. If it makes you feel better to think all fat people are bitter than boo hoo to you. This isn't the school yard so grow up. Takes more than a fat joke to make me feel bad. I love my body and many others do too.  I am bitter because of stupid comments I see from those who don't know what they are talking about.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

slave trainer, thank you so much. i whole heartedly agree with your M/s ideology, and i think that is why so many women are disagreeing with me. it is not enough to be pure of heart in terms of desire for devotion, pampering & pleasing. IMO a slave who is the best that she can be mind, BODY, and soul [which is within my contract even] is the best slave of them all. and that includes aesthetically. you dont have to be beautiful, but yes you should be within wight range, or at least trying, keep yourself clean and proper, do your nails, get your hair done... but for me, thats what being a slave means. to be the best possible. and the fact that His request IMO is quite reasonable i embrace it and the fact that i am rewarded at all, is a pleasant surprise.

If thats what works for you, then that is fine. I don't think being within weight is always a reasonable requirement (especially for older people with health problems.) Do my nails? Get real. I have a farm to run. My nails are going to look like shit. I'll clean them and even up the edges before our date, but don't expect more. I have better things to spend my money on than professional manicures.

Get my hair done? Again, who has the time or money? I wear mine down or in a pony tail or occasionally in pig tails and I get compliments on my hair almost every single day. In fact, I often get told it's my BEST physical feature. I don't have anything "done" to it. I haven't even trimmed it in 5yrs. I just shampoo and condition and let it be natural.

Maybe for YOUR dom those are priorities. The doms I have been involved with understood that I was a tomboy and that I had different priorities other than looking like a movie star.

If looking good is important to you, that's fine, and good luck to you. I take more satisfaction out of cleaning horse stalls and forking hay than I do in going to a beauty salon. Go each their own.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

If Mixi and her D want to lose weight for their health, that's GREAT. My entire objection is to bringing weight (a superficial concern when you're only dealing with 25lbs) into a discussion of something serious ie marriage.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

then if he knows you can be better at 25lbs less than you're now, he shouldn't be dangling a pair of wedding rings in front of your face asmotivation - mho and how skinnier will it take until you're completely satisfied and happy with the "better" you? when you're anorexic at 85lbs? i'm sensing lack of self-esteem and confidence in loving your body as you are - jmho here.

i'm proud, happy, sexy, beautiful, wonderful in my bbw size though i have lost inches YET i'm doing this for ME not in hopes of getting a wedding ring. i love myself as i am - doesn't matter what a guy comments or says that i need to lose weight for his ring. i don't need movitation like that.