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RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/1/2007 9:27:08 AM   
BBBTBW


Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBBTBW


I just viewed your profile and your picture doesn't smack of a woman who is overweight simply because of extra skin.  Your face holds way too much fluff for that to be the only factor. 



You're right about that. However, the pregnancy was the beginning of it. Before, I cared about my body and staying in shape. My shoulders and hips were exactly the same measurement, forming a perfect hourglass. I wore a size 7 and was not a woman of girth. After the pregnancy, I found out the ugly skin was there to stay and no amount of exercise or even starving myself would fix it. People were asking me how far along I was months after my baby was born because of the stupid skin. At that point I began to eat and gain weight. I knew my body would never ever look good again anyway. I would never look good in a bikini or feel comfortable having sex with the lights on. I could never look in the mirror again and like what I saw. I am now a woman of girth. But even if I wasn't, I would still look fat anyway because of the stretched skin. My body was destroyed by the pregnancy before I ever gained weight.


Sweetheart, this is understood.  EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US that has ever been pregnant has suffered some stretched skin, loss of muscle tone etc.  Even if we didn't have the extra amniotic fluid you had, we have all suffered.  The difference is we don't take it lying down, we don't continue to have self defeatist attitudes. 

Consider doing this.  Go to GNC and get you a bottle of 5bht, it is a seratonin booster (happy pill).  It will help the seratonin in your brain develop and give you a more rosey outlook on life.  Write me on the other side and we will develop a rapport and perhaps a support system for each other.  I could stand to lose a few pounds, tighten some muscles and perhaps entertain the idea of  having some skin removed. 

The passage that I highlighted is the negativity you have to get rid of.  THIS does not help you.  THIS is your true enemy and will hold you down.  Stop seeing yourself as an ugly fat woman.  Start seeing yourself as a Beautiful, Desireable, Attractive, Intelligent, POSITIVE, Sexy Woman of the future.  It doesn't matter whether you lose the weight or have the tummy tucks.  The thing that matters is how you carry yourself and present yourself to those you want to find you attractive.

I admit I wear my 300+ lbs pretty well because I am so tall....However what you don't see is under the clothing iI have the extra skin, the stretch marks and the rolls of fat (I have 2) <GRIN>. 

Men are not stupid, they know if you have some girth with clothing, that you will have some girth without clothing...Just think of it this way.  NO SUPRISES for them.  If a man is turned off by stretch marks, scars etc...and they see someone they see as perfection without seeing what is underneath the clothes, imagine the suprise they will get when they find an imperfection.  Just because a woman is thin does not mean she is perfect.  It just means she can hide her imperfections better.  Personally I would rather mine be known from the get go...that way I don't have to deal with bad personality BS.

Honestly, if you think its ok for a man to go get plugs or take chemicals to give him the effect of having hair, then why can you not go do something about yourself?  Get your priorites and your expectations in sync and realistic and things will get better for you.

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 181
RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/1/2007 9:29:13 AM   
BBBTBW


Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: astarri

so if your car got a scratch on it you should probably enter it into a smash up derby. The weight is your issue so i would then say -fix it- and i dont mean with diet. You have emotional distress about it and i would say go and see a therapist. baggy skin on your tummy doesnt make you undesireable. Many men like a little fluff. What is undesirable, however, is your attitude about it. You are repulsed by you and therefore you take it very personal to get feedback about it. Love who you are because you are more than your flesh. Stop victimizing yourself and fix you.


Applause

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to astarri)
Profile   Post #: 182
RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/1/2007 10:43:46 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

You're right about that. However, the pregnancy was the beginning of it. Before, I cared about my body and staying in shape. My shoulders and hips were exactly the same measurement, forming a perfect hourglass. I wore a size 7 and was not a woman of girth. After the pregnancy, I found out the ugly skin was there to stay and no amount of exercise or even starving myself would fix it. People were asking me how far along I was months after my baby was born because of the stupid skin. At that point I began to eat and gain weight. I knew my body would never ever look good again anyway. I would never look good in a bikini or feel comfortable having sex with the lights on. I could never look in the mirror again and like what I saw. I am now a woman of girth. But even if I wasn't, I would still look fat anyway because of the stretched skin. My body was destroyed by the pregnancy before I ever gained weight.


You know, I had a perfect body before my son came along. I mean the type of body that literally caused one car accident when I was walking down the street once. The photo you see as my avatar is about 30 lbs or more heavier than I was then.

I did gain a few lbs after my pregnancy, and I did have lose skin and stretch marks... at 22 that really pissed me off. I went from perfect to flawed. Now I could have gotten all depressed about that and gotten as big as a house, or I could just do the best I could. I chose to do the best I could

I have since suffered some hormonal setbacks. For example, I was 225 a couple of years ago, bordering on obese for my height... I lost 55 lbs, some of it came back and I am inching my way back to what you see in that photo (that photo was taken right after I lost 55 lbs).

It is not about what you look like DBG, it is about feeling good and being healthy. If you have THAT much skin, go get a tummy tuck! If I had that much skin that it affected my movement and gave me discomfort I would have it removed! Who cares about the scar, they fade anyways, and stretch marks are scars too.

Do what will make you comfortable and happy with you. Part of growing older is that we are not a size 7 with perfect skin always, but it is about being HEALTHY.

I agree with people on here that state you need to be more positive. Take a look around you at the people that are in healthy happy relationships... most of them are not physically perfect, but they are happy! You have a very pretty face, there is no need for you to be so down on yourself and not be the best you can be... just my opinion

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 183
RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/1/2007 11:58:48 AM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for the compliment about my face. You look great in that photo.

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 184
RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/1/2007 12:21:25 PM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy


I think illegal aliens and closet homosexuals are at the heart of this prejudice.


you mean they escaped from under my bed again?


_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 185
RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/1/2007 12:27:40 PM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		Bah - i'm pregnant... went from 107 to 143 currently.  Second pregnancy....  and i managed to go semi back to the way i was when my first was done baking.  Semi - of course.  Couldnt put my tits back where they were supposed to be. 

There's surgery for that!

And after this one........  i am going to GO RIGHT back to what i was before my pregnancy.  i expect it'll be harder, as i am older...... but its going to happen.

Know why?  Because i refuse to accept any less.  i absolutetly fricken REFUSE.  If i need plastic surgery, guess what?  i'm saving every spare penny. 

i WILL and i CAN - because i refuse to accept any less.  Where there is a WILL there is a WAY.

always

< Message edited by Devilslilsister -- 5/1/2007 12:28:18 PM >

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to Devilslilsister)
Profile   Post #: 186
RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/1/2007 1:35:49 PM   
FatDomDaddy


Posts: 3183
Joined: 1/31/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gothicdiva

Being beautiful doesn't necessarily have anything to do with size...it has to do with facial features, bone structure, etc. I happen to have a couple of friends in the 300-400-pound range, who have absolutely stunning faces. It just seems that lots of FAT women using the term "BBW," when it's not warranted IMO. Just because someone is "big" it does not mean that they are "beautiful." Surely, "M. Diva


When men say this they get hammered...lol

I could care less about who puts what on their profile, after all it is their profile, they are the ones who have to live with it. But I understand peoples frustration when the start talking to someone only to later find out they were clearly being dishonest about their phyiscal person.

We have all seen the out dated, taken when they were at thier lowest weight pictures on profiles of people who are twice that size now. Sometimes it's obvious by bad period hair or the profilers age says they are 34 when the picture is clearly croped from thier HS prom or a wedding 10 years prior.

In the end do pretty people have it better than non pretty people. For the most part that can be a rule, there are exceptions but generally its true. But that is taking 30,000 years of human evolution into play, you just can't expect it to change now.

The bottom line is self-esteem. The higher it is the more attractive you become... No matter what you look like. 


(in reply to gothicdiva)
Profile   Post #: 187
RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/1/2007 1:56:02 PM   
SoftKajira


Posts: 44
Joined: 3/14/2007
Status: offline
"The bottom line is self-esteem. The higher it is the more attractive you become... No matter what you look like."

now that is definitely a true statement. If you dislike yourself it shows whether you think so or not... and that is NOT attractive at all. 


(in reply to FatDomDaddy)
Profile   Post #: 188
RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/1/2007 2:40:59 PM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SireKane

My opinion pertains to the dominant male submissive female dynamic. My experience or data is based on my association with other dominant men over the past 27 years, and my personal observations bdsm related events.  Dominant men overwhelmingly prefer woman who are height and weight proportinate.


I'm not sure I agree with that.

Since I've been heavy, I've had far more men ask me out (both vanilla AND D/s).

When I first gained weight, I thought no one would want me...I was suprised to find out how many men actually found me attractive. I think the media teaches us that men don't like fat chicks..and sometimes men are afraid to admit that they like fat chicks....but in the everyday application, I know plenty of happily married fat women which shows me that more men are ok with a heavy girl than you would think.

It might not be their first preference, but then again, blonde hair might not be their first preference either. Give men some credit...what they prefer to look at in Playboy might not be the kind of girl they fall in love with and marry.

I have met many men who preffered bigger girls. Take my ex for example. (And don't flame me for this because it's his opinion and not mine.) He said, "Big girls and less attractive girls often have better personalities and are better in bed than beautiful people. The reason is that they HAVE to develop those traits in order to be successful in life and romance. Sure I love looking at a beautiful HWP women. But few of my slaves have fit that criteria because I'd rather have a girl with a stunning personality and average looks."


_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to SireKane)
Profile   Post #: 189
RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/1/2007 2:51:32 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe I should move to your state then. I usually find myself caught in the middle. I'm 5'4 and weigh 210. I've found that most of the Doms looking for skinny women think I'm huge and the Doms who want overweight women think I'm too skinny lol.

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to GeekyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 190
RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/1/2007 3:28:54 PM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline 		You're pretty close to my size...I'm 5ft3, and run between 190 and 200...210 on a fat week :P I flunctuate.

Honestly Defiant, and please don't this the wrong way, cause I like you....It's not your looks thats keeping you from getting dates. It's your lack of confidence and self esteem. Men don't find you beautiful because YOU don't find you beautiful.

Stop worrying about how you look and love yourself. Others will follow suit.


_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 191
RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/1/2007 4:43:59 PM   
FatDomDaddy


Posts: 3183
Joined: 1/31/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Maybe I should move to your state then. I usually find myself caught in the middle. I'm 5'4 and weigh 210. I've found that most of the Doms looking for skinny women think I'm huge and the Doms who want overweight women think I'm too skinny lol.


I see BBW's and unattached "Dom's" all the time in public play areas, parties and the like etc... Hugging the walls like a HS mixer. 

Here is another novel idea....

Ask someone to play with you. Just ask them...  if the say no... ask another one. Somebody will be more than happy to spank or flogg or cane or duct tape you or whatever. Really.... try Play for play sake it may lead to something more.

And here is something else to ponder...

Ask someone less attractive then you.... you might just find what you are looking for.

< Message edited by FatDomDaddy -- 5/1/2007 4:45:40 PM >

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 192
RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/1/2007 9:01:14 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		That is not always true. I am fat, and I do not like to cook Somedays I barely eat, if it's a choice between cooking something and I do not feel like making and not eating, I don't eat.

I just don't do anything pysichal at all so I could eat nothing but health food and I'd still be fat. I enjoy food, but I am hardly hungry most days for the entire period, except later on at night.

I did however get fat because when i lived in a group home they didn't allow us to use the tv to excerise to video's and they didn't allow us off the property to go for walks much, and they also didn't control eating, so yeah uncontrolled in that enviroment I ate tons, my helping seconds and 4 other plates from other girls so they wouldn't get in trouble for not eating it.

Now I stay fat because i don't do anything to burn the calories, not because I eat lots.
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirRober


FAT women have a better sense of self and like to eat / cook


< Message edited by FelinePersuasion -- 5/1/2007 9:03:18 PM >

_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.


(in reply to SirRober)
Profile   Post #: 193
RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/1/2007 9:12:53 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: SireKane

My opinion pertains to the dominant male submissive female dynamic. My experience or data is based on my association with other dominant men over the past 27 years, and my personal observations bdsm related events.  Dominant men overwhelmingly prefer woman who are height and weight proportinate.


I'm not sure I agree with that.

Since I've been heavy, I've had far more men ask me out (both vanilla AND D/s).


i have to agree with this...i've had the same reaction. i get a lot more attention now...perhaps it's because i'm also much more confident. incidentally, i think confidence and self-esteem makes someone much more of a "bbw" than weight or facial structure.

He prefers women who are on the high end of normal, if not somewhat overweight. over women who are thin and/or height-weight proportionate.

and i'm a fat foodie. yes, lord, i love to cook. i cook pretty healthy stuff, when i do, and i rarely have the pleasure of cooking because of lack of time, but i LOVE to cook.

annabelle.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to GeekyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 194
RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/1/2007 9:47:34 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		All four of my last partners over a period of years liked me and I am / was fat.  There's people called chubby chasers who only want fat women.
quote:

ORIGINAL: SireKane

My opinion pertains to the dominant male submissive female dynamic. My experience or data is based on my association with other dominant men over the past 27 years, and my personal observations bdsm related events.  Dominant men overwhelmingly prefer woman who are height and weight proportinate.


_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.


(in reply to SireKane)
Profile   Post #: 195
RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/2/2007 3:57:31 AM   
Sinimint


Posts: 131
Joined: 1/25/2007
Status: offline 		And my thoughts over these pages are that yes, we all have our own personal tastes.  I myself pefer slim men, but I prefer voluptous women.  Curves on women are lovely and extremely sexy.

Having said that, to all the very overweight gorgeous women and men who posted, aren't you at all worried about the health of your heart more than anything else.  Forget what you look like, your heart is working overtime because of the weight you are carrying and I'm sure we all know that heart attack is the biggest killing disease in western countries.  Losing weight, eating healthy and exercising even moderately will help so much.  Think of your future, your children and do something for yourself - not for your looks or figure, I'm sure you look lovely and sexy already, but for your health alone.  The stress too much weight puts on your heart is a terrible thing.

I'm not offending, I just worry that's all.  I have a friend who is having heart problems right now, and he is only 32.  He is obese, he has 3 children, it's scary, sad and terrifying, and terrible because it can be avoided.

Kindest regards............

< Message edited by Sinimint -- 5/2/2007 3:58:00 AM >

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 196
RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/2/2007 4:17:30 AM   
DarkQuin


Posts: 46
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I know lots of women who are over weight, under weight, just right, but you want to know what stands out to me?  The confident ones, they get my attention and that of plenty others too.  I'm usually pretty confident, some days I'm not and other days I'm unbearable.  I know about the latter because that is when my ego gets stuck in doorways and such(Insert Rude Face Here).  I may not be the most confident, greatest and most skilled dom out there, but at least I am out there willing to try and respect that quality in others.

Bottom line is accept yourself for who you, today and have fun right now and don't hide yourself from the world, we do love you, yanno.

Q

Plan tomorrow today, so there is a tomorrow.

(in reply to Sinimint)
Profile   Post #: 197
RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/2/2007 4:32:15 AM   
Daddysjezzy


Posts: 54
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline 		I cant believe this thread is still going. 

Attraction is purely subjective, either you are attracted to a certain kind of physicality or you arent.  Enough with the political correctness about it.  If people are rude to you about being fat be rude back about their lack of vocabulary or intellect.  Better yet block them because obviously they will not be a good potential partner for you.  Conversely, you may call yourself a big beautiful woman and you are entitled to that opinion but it doesnt mean that others have to share your opinion.  Now before you jump my ass about being a fat person hater, I am a fat woman.  My Master loves me that way so it works out for both of us.

Would it be better if everyone thought everyone else was peachy keen?  Yeah probably but it sounds like a boring as hell prozac world to me.  Difference is a great thing if we would only stop beating each other up for being different.

(in reply to DarkQuin)
Profile   Post #: 198
RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/2/2007 2:29:09 PM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinimint

And my thoughts over these pages are that yes, we all have our own personal tastes.  I myself pefer slim men, but I prefer voluptous women.  Curves on women are lovely and extremely sexy.

Having said that, to all the very overweight gorgeous women and men who posted, aren't you at all worried about the health of your heart more than anything else.  Forget what you look like, your heart is working overtime because of the weight you are carrying and I'm sure we all know that heart attack is the biggest killing disease in western countries.  Losing weight, eating healthy and exercising even moderately will help so much.  Think of your future, your children and do something for yourself - not for your looks or figure, I'm sure you look lovely and sexy already, but for your health alone.  The stress too much weight puts on your heart is a terrible thing.

I'm not offending, I just worry that's all.  I have a friend who is having heart problems right now, and he is only 32.  He is obese, he has 3 children, it's scary, sad and terrifying, and terrible because it can be avoided.

Kindest regards............


Sure I worry about it.Unfortunately, for me, food is an addiction. Losing weight is like going through heroin withdrawals or something. It's not a lack of DESIRE to lose weight.

 How many heavy girls have started trying to lose weight a dozen times only to lose 10 lbs and  then gain it all back? For ME, it's about food addiction and lack of will power...being completely unable to say no.

And I'm not just that way about food. I'm that way about money (I'll spend money on something I "want" even though I know I have bills due) and sex (I'm almost incapable of saying no when I'm aroused, even if i really don't want to have sex with that person). I just am not a person who is good at saying "no" even when it's something I desperately want to do.

People act like it's so easy. "Well just eat less." Um yeah, it works like that, sure it does.


_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to Sinimint)
Profile   Post #: 199
RE: rant over "fat women" - 5/2/2007 7:23:12 PM   
MistressNoName


Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		gothicdiva,

I was responding to how your post sounded...you're not the only one I've ever seen who has ever written something or said something like that. You're right, beauty IS in the eye of the beholder. It is a subjective matter. If a fat woman chooses to Use the term BBW to describe herself perhaps it's because she considers herself to be beautiful, despite how you have defined it for yourself. So perhaps adding, "...in my opinon" to your statement, "More often than not, these women are just fat...and NOT beautiful," would've helped your statement seem less judgmental.

Look at it this way, what if the term BBW stood for Beautiful Black Woman...now what if your statement read, "Why is it that EVERY black woman labels themself a "BBW?" More often that not, these women are just black...and NOT beautiful..." Is this a statement you would offer in that case? And can you now understand why some BBWs might be offended by your statement?

MNN


(in reply to gothicdiva)
Profile   Post #: 200
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