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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 7:00:36 AM

Stranger1

Posts: 219
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I will never put a face pic up a place like this-too many nutcases lurking out there.

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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 7:52:07 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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quote:

ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart

Its easier for me not to have a picture up.
So I don't have to worry about it.

Ditto!!

Anyone who doesn't want to be outed shouldn't have their picture on any kink site. Also never use the same screen name that you use anywhere else, because if someone were to google it it would take them to CM.

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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 7:56:01 AM

thetammyjo

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You have to do what is best for you.

I show myself for three reasons:

First, I strongly believe that until we are proud enough to be out we will be prisoners to our fears about mainstream society and have little impact on changing anyone's opinions or fixing laws that may threaten us.

Second, this isn't a role I put on, this is me. I am not ashamed of me so I have not problem being out on a site for BDSM. Would I bring it up on a teaching site or a religious site or at a family picnic? No because it is not relevant in those instances.

Finally, I do it because I am a published author. I have problems buying books from folks who aren't out, I find them less authoriative and therefore less valuable to me personally. So if I want folks to take what I write and say more seriously, I assume that being myself and being out makes that more likely. (or I could be fooling myself)

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 8:18:28 AM

MasterNdorei

Posts: 658
Joined: 10/8/2005
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Unless you are comfortable with the possibility of every person in your life knowing you post on this site, i would suggest you do not post face shots. You can always email them later if someone wants to know who you are.

Anytime a company wants to fire you, they can build a case. It doesn't have to have anything to do with your lifestyle choices, i have seen it happen too many times. Being in the Pagan community for more than three decades, having many friends who are gay, one friend who is "married" to a post op transgendered female, and several people in poly relationships, i have seen all of these reasons end employment, though the companies managed to find other reasons to let the people go.

Even a company that claims to have no issues with your private life can change dramatically when a new CEO comes in. Do you want to be the example? Again, they do not have to address your religion, sexual preferences, nor lifestyle to get rid of you. Even if everyone knows the real reason, you will not hear it from them. Still you are the one looking for employment now... and with a tarnished record.

i applaud the people who are "out" about the lifestyle. i am out with everyone in my family, and all of my close friends, but i live in a small town where one bad word can ruin anyone. It is not that i care about these people, but i may someday need to be employed here.

Master works in a profession that would not tolerate His lifestyle and He is 4 years from retiring. Neither of us is uo for the fight. It is easier to side step the drama.

We used to show our faces in our profile, but not anymore. We may move in a few years, and if we do, we will probably post our faces again. It is just too risky at this point in time.

It is something to think about...

Master's dorei

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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 8:18:41 AM

Missokyst

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I don't put one up for a number of reasons. First, it really isn't anyones business what I look like. If I did find some interest in them, that would be the time to let them see one, or meet me in person. Second, I do have a business which requires that I go into people's homes, it is probably not a good idea to visit a home where someone who I do not know, is aware of my kink. Third, someone used my pic about 10 yrs ago, claiming it was them. This is the most disturbing thing for me, that someone would use my image and attach their false identity to it.
I know that people who might see my posted image would have to visit the site where I have posted it. And supposedly that would mean they had a similar interest.. well.. NO, it does not mean that. It might be that they are one of the very nosy people who look for scandal. Many companies have morality clauses in their contracts, and people who are just itching to move up.

I myself, often visit websites that I don't personally use. Bit Torrents, for example. I have seen the site, I have found items people might be looking for. I have even gone to hacker sites to pick up codes.. but they are not for me. I don't download things for my own purposes. I think it is an invalid arguement to assume that anyone coming across your image on a kinky site MUST share the interest. I once looked for Barbie, and I don't even want to remember what I saw on some of those sites <<shudder>>

For me, putting a pic up here, or any other site is just not worth it.
Kyst

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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 9:00:31 AM

Dastardly

Posts: 58
Joined: 5/30/2006
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I have a picture up, and always have had, on every dyke or perve site I have belonged to. I'm out at work and it's not an issue. I'm out to everyone I know. I work on the premise that if I can't be comfortable being who I am then how can I expect anyone else to deal with it, to become educated. This is easier on the lesbian side than the perve side admittedly but then I've never felt the need to be explicit about what I do. However I quite happily talk in the office about a new rubber outift that has arrived and have had several of my hats delivered there (I have a thing for hats LOL) and modelled them in the office. The people I work with all accept me for who I am - there is something for being an English eccentric that can avoid you a whole heap of trouble

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Out of longing great wonders have been willed'
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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 9:08:09 AM

domiguy

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Being that I hold a very respected position as the host of a game show I think it would be unwise to post a pic.....Are jevousadore and TheDiva possible the same person?....Being extremely drawn to brunettes I always look at their pic.....Perhaps if they were to stand side by side naked we could get some answers here....If all the subs in Oregon look like jevousadore....I think I might have to spend some more time in the Great Northwest.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 4/30/2007 9:17:46 AM >

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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 9:10:04 AM

domiguy

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Quick question... Why do dommes all have to dress in black, show pics of their nasty feet and wear silly hats?

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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 9:12:25 AM

UntamedStar

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question: are you respected cos its a good game show?

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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 9:29:12 AM

spanklette

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Joined: 2/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheDiva

Edited to state that the first part of my post was directed at the OP and not spanklette. (Damn you, Fast Reply! One day I will learn to use you properly and then you will be powerless over me!)

Damn, and I had written a rant just for you!!!!

BTW, to all of you picture hounds...I know what slaveluci looks like!

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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 10:34:17 AM

MstrssScarlet

Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
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I have always used the scene name Scarlet or Mistress Scarlet. It's not very original, but I didn't know that when I first started into the public lifestyle. Turns out to be a good thing. Out of curiosity I googled my name and nothing even close to me came up. Not that I would take it down anyway. The only people who don't know about me are a few family members that live out of state and are completely computer illiterate.
I, too, have always taken the stance that if someone were to see my picture or profile, they have some explaining to do as well.
Mistress Scarlet

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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 10:54:58 AM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EasyE

Hey,

I've been a member at collarme for quite a while. I've been thinking lately of the dangers of not remaining as anonymous as possible. I mean this in terms of; people outside the lifestyle finding out and getting future employment. I do not let any of my friends know of my lifestyle and since I am a young college student, that is for the best. I realize to view the pic they would have to come onto this website so they may have kink as it is but none the less.

My face is my best feature so I wouldn't want to cover it up if it is not necessary lol. Is this a rational fear or not? I want my lifestyle to remain as secret as possible.

Tell me what ya all think!!!

Thanks,

Ed

I can understand the fear.If your really worried,you can take it off the profile and offer to send one to anyone interested.

For Me, its come to the point where I dont care who knows...especially since I was recently outed to some family members.In a lot of ways its a relief.

I dont have to hide the dungeon sign that points the way,dont have to worry about locking the dungeon door.Dont have to becareful about saying things BDSM related.Its kinda nice.

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In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 11:02:47 AM

leakylee

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i am out to family and friends. it has cost me a bit. i am the family freak..wee haa!! i even have to watch what it is i post on my journals and in here because i have a shadow that lurks. she feels that it is her duty to make sure that i am not getting to fruity. while i know this comes from a place a of love, personally i think it is BS, but hey, it is a public forum.

she will even inform my parental units if she feels things get to hairy. so yes coming out can come back to bite you in the proverbial butt. all i can do is recommend being prepared.

love and light
lee

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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 11:20:04 AM

MistressSassy66

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leakylee

i am out to family and friends. it has cost me a bit. i am the family freak..wee haa!! i even have to watch what it is i post on my journals and in here because i have a shadow that lurks. she feels that it is her duty to make sure that i am not getting to fruity. while i know this comes from a place a of love, personally i think it is BS, but hey, it is a public forum.

she will even inform my parental units if she feels things get to hairy. so yes coming out can come back to bite you in the proverbial butt. all i can do is recommend being prepared.

love and light
lee

LMAO...its not easy being the family freak is it...LOL
Or then again maybe it is easy...I do know its way more interesting

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Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 11:31:59 AM

Enyo

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Joined: 4/27/2007
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I'm not ready for everyone in my life (mainly my boss, coworkers, and clients) to know everything about my personal life. Thus, I think it is in my best interest to not post a picture. Interestingly enough, I know quite a few details about my co-workers personal lives that I'm sure they regret revealing, I don't want the same regrets.

I don't actually even prefer sending pictures, I'd much rather meet somone in real life as I've had several experiences where people have sent pictures that are old or misrepresentative about how they actually look. The only reason I politely ask for pictures in my profile is that I appreciate having the reference in the even that we do decide to meet at some point.

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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 11:34:51 AM

leakylee

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oh i love it. helps keep the visits down and i dont get asked to baby sit near as much any more. i have no idea why. maybe it has something to do with contamination issues..hehe..

hey makes my life way way easier. so i aint about to complain. interesting it is as well. they never know if who you are meeting or talking to is "normal" or a fellow freak...heheh

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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 11:45:37 AM

MakeItTight

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I'm dealing with the same situation. A young college student with trendy friends that you're nervous may uncover more than you'd like. What I've found is that most people honestly don't care. I've just started flat out saying that BDSM is my preference. I've yet to find anyone who finds it an uncomfortable topic so long as you leave your description brief.

I used an altered image of myself for while, but I came to realize that if people are narrow minded enough to judge you, then they should probably go back to fifth grade and grow up before trying to live in the real world.

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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 11:45:38 AM

MistressSassy66

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leakylee

oh i love it. helps keep the visits down and i dont get asked to baby sit near as much any more. i have no idea why. maybe it has something to do with contamination issues..hehe..

hey makes my life way way easier. so i aint about to complain. interesting it is as well. they never know if who you are meeting or talking to is "normal" or a fellow freak...heheh

Okay now I'm really LMFAO...
I so know what you mean about the babysitting...LOL
And My mother and grandmother refuse to visit until I take the dungeon sign down.
I love it...wish I had known all I needed was a dungeon sign years ago...lol
I love them but...I want to be free and live how I want,if keeping them away is the only way then so be it.
I have no regrets.

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Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 1:32:34 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Quick question... Why do dommes all have to dress in black, show pics of their nasty feet and wear silly hats?

Opps, you must not have looked at all our pictures.

None of you above is true for my picture.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 4/30/2007 2:50:12 PM

bowandserve

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I don't. I put my pic up when I signed up. 24 hours later and near 7 pages of emails made me realize that only invites everyone (ok so it was me in a latex dress - no face even!) This way I weed out at least some of the ones that aren't genuine. I find the sincere ones have a conversation for awhile before asking for the pic. When they do I get on the webcam and they are always shocked, thinking I hid my picture because I was hideous. I do that because I too have had my picture used as someone else's - again, even just the body. I always prefer webcam over pics - that way you don't get the 10 year old best angle ever taken picture - 50 pounds and 1 foot shorter ago.

I also am in a profession where, well, it would be over if I were associated with any of this. I"m not sure what out means as I dont' generally discuss what goes on behind closed doors whether it's D/s or vanilla sex. I'm not into the "scene" either, so maybe that's what it is?

Either way my pic stays off the net. If people won't even start a conversation without it then they're missing out. I've been frustrated enough with the fakes that I figure the percentage only skyrockets when you put a decent pic out there.

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