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RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 5/1/2007 9:47:29 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		If you want to see where you are on the net, google your name (i.e. legal name). If you want to see where your persona is on the net, google your screen name. If you don't want to be easily matched between the two, don't use the same pic.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to EasyE)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 5/1/2007 12:36:14 PM   
stagerlee


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/28/2007
Status: offline 		I've no problem about being up front about my prefrences  with people face to face but some jobs its just not good idea to put your face on some web sites.
Things are better now but I rember what things were like in this country (the uk) mid to late 80s.
I still think papers like the Sun or he Mail would be happy to do a bit of kink bashing.

Also am just pretty miffed that Collarme wont let me put up a drawing instead.....took me ages that drawing did!

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 5/1/2007 12:44:43 PM   
kieth


Posts: 5
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		I've been around for a while and it hasn't harmed me in any way. Some outs me and I'd be one on one with them in a heart beat.

(in reply to bowandserve)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 5/1/2007 2:13:37 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline 		I don't think one can safeguard anything they put up online but then again, unless it's a naked/naughty photo you're in minor trouble, and can always claim ignorance as to how it got online in a kink site, as someone else mentioned before.

In general, I think you should assume that anything you put up online can be found by co-workers and family and then make a decision based on that.

Like most people here I have days when I don't care, and days when I worry about my online prescence. I just don't like living in fear or hiding though. On some sites I do show my face, others no.

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to EasyE)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 5/1/2007 2:17:54 PM   
Rose4Mistress


Posts: 162
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline 		i've had a friend who came across my profile on here while just perusing. he was shocked to see me on here, but when he confronted me about it, i told him that this was indeed me, and asked him why HE would be on here.  in the end, he was merely curious after hearing BDSM discussed in a chatroom, but now he likes discussing it with me and it has sort of become a joke.


(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 5/1/2007 2:51:03 PM   
sugarcoatedscamp


Posts: 120
Joined: 5/5/2006
From: Fort Wayne, IN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

If you want to see where you are on the net, google your name (i.e. legal name). If you want to see where your persona is on the net, google your screen name. If you don't want to be easily matched between the two, don't use the same pic.

Master Fire



*grins*

It helps to have a fairly common first name and surname.  On googling, I was amazed to learn that I've got a degree in social work (and to think, I didn't have to attend a single class!).  My username, on the other hand, is all over the place, and mostly me.  Of course, I'm also completely out... the only people who don't know about me are my grandparents in Florida, and all they'd have to do to find out is view my yahoo profile.  *shrugs*  It's a risk I'm willing to take for the freedom to be myself.

_____________________________

Consent means never having to say, "I'm sorry."
If beating you is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
I got an A+ in online bdsm.
You can call me Master now!

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 5/1/2007 3:13:57 PM   
Aristogeiton


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

If someone at work were to discover your picture on here, and try to out you, they would be outting themselves.  If someone came to me and said, "did you know that so and so has a profile at a kink site?", I'd be asking them how they knew.

Why would they want to risk outting themselves if it endangered their job?  If they were already out to the boss, then obviously, whether or not one is kinky has no merit in whether or not one remains employed at said job.

Right or wrong is solely up to you.


A random coworker recognizing you is far less of a problem or likely than an information searcher finding you.  Background searches are getting more sophisticated at plumbing the depths of the internet for your personal history, and the general state of search is constantly improving.  Considering that google was a twinkle in someone's eye a decade ago, it's not implausible that a sophisticated image searching program could search for pictures of an individual person two decades from now- and wind up on this site.  Some employers may be open minded, but others may let this information cloud their judgment, and all other things being equal, may hire someone else because this showed up on the search.

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 5/1/2007 3:32:40 PM   
asubmissiveheart


Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		I am hardly living in fear, I don't have a picture up because I don't need
to create an unneccessary situation.
There is no real valid reason for me to have my picture on the internet,
especially on this website.
I have nothing to gain, and to much to lose.
I think more professionals tend NOT to post a picture than non-professionals.
I don't see too many doctors, lawyers, judges, etc. with a picture on a BDSM
website.

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 5/1/2007 3:53:33 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart

I am hardly living in fear, I don't have a picture up because I don't need
to create an unneccessary situation.


I think there are many reasons someone may choose not to put up a face photo of themselves, and fear of being outed is certianly only one among many. Whatever your reasons, you have every right to decide not to post one. No right or wrong about it.

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to asubmissiveheart)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 5/1/2007 11:57:17 PM   
EasyE


Posts: 111
Joined: 12/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

If someone at work were to discover your picture on here, and try to out you, they would be outting themselves. 


Good point!  I forgot I created this tread so I got some reading to do lol

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 5/2/2007 12:49:58 AM   
EasyE


Posts: 111
Joined: 12/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

quote:

ORIGINAL: EasyE

I've been a member at collarme for quite a while.  I've been thinking lately of the dangers of not remaining as anonymous as possible.


Too late. They haven't used the "robots.txt" standard to prohibit crawling and caching, so that means the Internet Archive, as well as Google and Google Images, will have an archived copy of anything you ever typed, and every Avatar you ever used.

quote:

I mean this in terms of; people outside the lifestyle finding out and getting future employment.


That's been a concern for me too, so I use a nick not connected to me, use a picture that is me, and in half-profile at that, but doesn't even vaguely resemble what I generally look like. Additionally, I avoid putting out too much stuff that people might be inclined to search for, and keep the personal stuff to PMs.

My work includes ICT security (planning, design and management of comprehensive security policies and measures for e.g. telcos etc.), so it's a sensitive topic, mostly due to prejudices, but also because some might think it'll make me more susceptible to blackmail (bah, that's the least interesting line of attack).

quote:

My face is my best feature so I wouldn't want to cover it up if it is not necessary lol.  Is this a rational fear or not?  I want my lifestyle to remain as secret as possible.


No reason to keep it a secret. And that's just not feasible. If someone wants to find out, they will. If they want to do a full go-to on you, they'll probably know as well. Just don't broadcast it. Making it an outright secret, and planning for it to remain a secret for the forseeable future, is just setting yourself up for a fall.

Ever wonder what'll happen once Google starts using language pattern analysis to identify nyms and/or licences the "semantic forests" patent?



WOW!!! you would think they would code with a little more responsibly than that for a kink site!  WTF oh well I'm in now mine as well show some abs (beneath my layer of fat lol).


< Message edited by EasyE -- 5/2/2007 12:52:20 AM >

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 5/2/2007 1:42:05 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		I have a severely religious family, as in hard-core Catholics and Protestants.
There are enough headaches and arguments as it is now.  Plus guess who is
the family "black sheep" ?
 
Since I prefer my drama on the stage and screen and not in the dining room,
I do not post real names or photos.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to EasyE)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 5/2/2007 3:36:50 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EasyE

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

If someone at work were to discover your picture on here, and try to out you, they would be outting themselves. 


Good point!  I forgot I created this tread so I got some reading to do lol



I find this presumption to be laughable at best - at least with regard to my career.

A little tidbit from yesterday:

People at work are supposed to be working on an assignment for their English class. It's a cross-curricular little thing, so they're supposed to be looking up information on migraine headaches, bursitis and numerous other medical issues.

So, imagine my surprise when I find one person perusing the personals of a similar site to this! I turned off his computer (he lost all the information he had already collected), sent him to the office and he's now suspended for internet infractions.

In my career people checking out sites like this can be the death of me career-wise, for a number of reasons. And yes, I do have a contract, but in that contract is a moral turpitude clause.

I've had, over the years a number of people tell me "well, moral turpitude doesn't mean visiting sites like this! It only means what you DO!" And to this, my comment is always "yes, but when it'll take over a year of legal maneuvering to get past this - IF where you work doesn't have another round of layoffs of which you coincidentally become a part of due to seniority issues, etc, and  don't get paid during this time, do you REALLY want to split hairs on this?"

People who do the whole "people who come here obviously are kinky too" thing are incredibly naive in my opinion. People surf the net all the time and frequently wind up on sites that they have no more than a cursory interest in - kinda like visiting the zoo.

Personally, in the efforts to get an e-mail or two, I have no desire to become one of the animals people are viewing. So, on other sites where I also post, the only pictures of me is one from the neck down and another that's a beaver nibbling on a woodie (it's an actual beaver chewing on a tree that's sticking straight up.) The caption is "the obligatory beaver shot."

And that's it.

Plausible deniability. That's my guideline.

juliet

(in reply to EasyE)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 5/2/2007 11:39:55 AM   
DefiantSurrender


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Personally, in the efforts to get an e-mail or two, I have no desire to become one of the animals people are viewing. So, on other sites where I also post, the only pictures of me is one from the neck down and another that's a beaver nibbling on a woodie (it's an actual beaver chewing on a tree that's sticking straight up.) The caption is "the obligatory beaver shot."


Hehe...that pic sounds familiar...i think i've seen you at that site!

Well, i guess that proves the point of the thread... put stuff online, there's a chance people will recognise you.

Earlier today, i was browsing the "search" section of this site and saw 2 people i know in real life.

Hate to breed paranoia, but yeah...it's probably best for anyone who doesn't want to be "out", to err on the side of caution.

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 5/2/2007 11:50:06 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Not to try to sway anyone's opinion one way or the other, but seriously, how many have googled anyone's real name or screen name?  (This is just a curiosity of Mine.)  I'm just thinking that if that were the course of action, the pic displayed would probably be the last of the worries.

The funny line about the "obligatory beaver shot" was quite clever.  Very similar to a joke I play when I am on cam and hear those rude "Show us your pussy" remarks.  Anytime I get that, I very politely get My cat and put her up for viewing.

(in reply to DefiantSurrender)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 5/2/2007 3:19:18 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

If you want to see where you are on the net, google your name (i.e. legal name). If you want to see where your persona is on the net, google your screen name. If you don't want to be easily matched between the two, don't use the same pic.

Master Fire



Every so often I google myself (ooooh that 'sounds' like more fun than it is haha) and find nothing. Nada, zero & zilch. cjenny is only used here & that is the only reference I can find for myself!
 I'm not google-able

On the OP I kinda waver on the pic. It gets a bit wearying when I get voyeur emails so sometimes it is there, sometimes it ain't.



_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? - 5/2/2007 5:22:23 PM   
EasyE


Posts: 111
Joined: 12/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Not to try to sway anyone's opinion one way or the other, but seriously, how many have googled anyone's real name or screen name?  (This is just a curiosity of Mine.)  I'm just thinking that if that were the course of action, the pic displayed would probably be the last of the worries.

The funny line about the "obligatory beaver shot" was quite clever.  Very similar to a joke I play when I am on cam and hear those rude "Show us your pussy" remarks.  Anytime I get that, I very politely get My cat and put her up for viewing.



well my name while completely unrelated is burried in hits of the rapper.  SCORE!!!

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 77
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