RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 7:49:35 AM

amuzingtoyou

Posts: 144
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline

well i see this often especially on line. You gave him what he wanted. He didn't have to work very hard for it. Eventually the chase was over, and he has obviously moved on to another victim. I wouldn't waste anymore time on this one. Chalk it up to experience, and move on. It is obvious he took advantage of his position with you. I sincerely hope you don't waste time and tears worrying about this person.
missi

(in reply to SweetShyBBW4u)

Post #: 21

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 8:41:59 AM

Wyrd

Posts: 109
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Columbia, SC
Status: offline

If the relationship was far enough along to warrant a true submission, then you should have multiple methods and points of contact for him, if you can only contact him through collarme, then you may want to consider why that is.

(in reply to amuzingtoyou)

Post #: 22

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 8:43:52 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetShyBBW4u

I recently after having many sessions with a Master who I thought was great, finally submitted myself completely and according to him was amazing and the most well behave sub he had ever served him. After this, I knew that I wanted to serve him always but how for some reason he is ignoring me. He is on collarme everyday but when I send him a message, he reads it and never replies. What did I do wrong?

Sorry I'm coming to the thread late and don't have time to read the other responses.

To me it sounds like he wanted to sample the merchandise, told you what you wanted to hear, got what he wanted and moved on.

You have to go real slow with these Doms to be sure the actions underneath match the skills they have at lip service on the surface.

I'm finding 80-90% of the Doms I met were just BS'rs looking to take a romp in the hay, or say they are someone they can never live up to.
Subs are the same way, hell most adults in the world are like this now a days.
Integrity, honesty and accountability are becoming so rare it should be listed on the endangered species list that honorable humans are in danger of becoming non-existent.

It's a shame there are so many wolves in sheep's clothing in the dating world in general and on all sides of it IMO.
Most know what the right thing is, so it's easy to spout it out, but if you watch the actions for a while they usually can't keep up the charade long.
Sorry this loser upset and used you.
Just remember to go slow and take your time in verifying he is who he says he is next time before you jump in with both feet.
I intend on casually dating someone for many, many months, visiting their home, meeting their loved ones and friends, and learning their habits before I'd be willing to consider becoming their property.

Good Luck to you,
suzanne
**edited because what I said did not convey what I wanted to say & for spelling.

< Message edited by onestandingstill -- 5/1/2007 8:50:15 AM >

(in reply to SweetShyBBW4u)

Post #: 23

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 8:55:56 AM

SweetShyBBW4u

Posts: 4
Joined: 4/28/2006
Status: offline

This was not an online thing this was real time

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 24

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 9:12:30 AM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

Is this a 24/7 together relationship or a long distance one.
My guess is a long distance one.
Hate to be the bearer of bad news but the world is full of people who are more then a little dishonest with their statements.

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to SweetShyBBW4u)

Post #: 25

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 9:50:44 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Maybe I should add that to my list:

Don't agree to submit to someone and make a lifelong commitment to serve someone until you know you can call them at 2 am for an emergency.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Kinkypupper)

Post #: 26

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 10:01:39 AM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

I do not mean to be rude, but.... you submitted completely and do not even have the guy's phone number?

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

(in reply to SweetShyBBW4u)

Post #: 27

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 10:02:26 AM

Wyrd

Posts: 109
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Columbia, SC
Status: offline

Definatly, I know that while I do not enjoy the 3am call to talk a slave down from some bad event, it is part of what I agree to when I take a slave under my wing, if they are not living with me, those that live with me, I get to hold them close when they wake from a nightmare.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Maybe I should add that to my list:

Don't agree to submit to someone and make a lifelong commitment to serve someone until you know you can call them at 2 am for an emergency.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 28

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 10:16:34 AM

SireKane

Posts: 105
Joined: 1/22/2004
Status: offline

"I recently after having many sessions with a Master who I thought was great, finally submitted myself completly and according to him was amazing and the most well behave sub he had ever served him. After this, I knew that I wanted to serve him always but how for some reason he is ignoring me. He is on collarme everyday but when I send him a message, he reads it and never replies. What did I do wrong? "

I don't know you, and I don't know the particulars of your relationship, but I am familiar with your situation. I'm going to share with you my personal insight which is based upon experiences shared with by submissive females in this lifestyle. What is happening to you is a very common occurrence in this lifestyle? In my opinion, based on a survey a did amongst submissive females for a workshop I was developing. Most men in this lifestyle are tops at best. Vanilla guys, with a twist of kink. Dominance, especially the type a submissive seeks, is not a part of their persona. Their dominance is a selected or preferred role they choose to play in the bdsm community or lifestyle. They can choose not to play the dominant role at a drop of a hat. The problem occurs when a top presents himself to a submissive as a dominant, or master, and enters into a relationship with a submissive under this guise. Within the boundaries of the bedroom, a top can easily perform the dominant role. Dominance outside the bedroom, in the context of a D/s relationship is a whole other dynamic. Maintaining D/s relationship is extra hard work for a top, it's like a second job for him. His dominance is not part of his personality, and is usually sexually motivated. His dominance will end at the end of your scene. When a top, posing as a dominant, tires of the role, and the submissive has not given him grounds to release her, it is common for him to simply abandon the relationship leaving the submissive bewildered. He's not going to tell you that he got tired of being dominant. He'll repeat the same scenario over an over again. It's unfair, unfortunate, and far too common. Submissive females need to do better homework on the dominants they are interested in. Men need to understand that there is no rank or hierarchy amongst men, whether you are a top, dom, or master , there are no brownie points. Just be honorable, without honesty there can be no consent.

Kane

(in reply to Stranger1)

Post #: 29

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 10:19:46 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetShyBBW4u

Not sure if it is a techinal problem or not but we even use to talk daily on yahoo but now nothing. We spoke about if we wanted this long term and he said he did and couldnt wait to collar me.

Was that before or after your submission? I'm guessig that this was sexual submission? A lot of people will say anything to get what they want NOW.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to SweetShyBBW4u)

Post #: 30

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 10:33:58 AM

astarri

Posts: 265
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline

looking on the bright side SweetShy ...you experienced something. It may not seem positive at this time but one day you will look back and see that you have learned from this. I'm sorry you got hurt.

(in reply to SweetShyBBW4u)

Post #: 31

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 10:34:36 AM

amuzingtoyou

Posts: 144
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline

I have to agree with LA on this one. I do have to wonder about agreeing to submit to someone completely and not having their home phone number...
So to the OP...take this as a valuable lesson. Don't give of yourself so easily. Establish a relationship with the person. Let it build. Establish trust and then you would be able to submit without it damaging your life.
We as submissives have a tendency to play the victim, but the OP does bare some responsiblity in this as well. Agreeing to give completely of oneself to another person when you don't know simple things such as where they live or their home number would raise red flags for me. I wish her luck in the future.
missi

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 32

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 10:48:39 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I agree with whats been said. Something weird about not being able to contact him any other way other than cm. Best thing to do is learn from this and move on.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to amuzingtoyou)

Post #: 33

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 11:49:41 AM

defiantbadgirl

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

I have heard that some have technical issues on this site. However, I would guess that he is deliberately ignoring you since he isn't answering you on yahoo either. I commend you for having many sessions before submitting yourself fully. Unfortunately, that alone doesn't always work. To avoid this type of situation in the future, I would advise against submitting fully to any Dom until you know where he lives. This goes for both vanilla and bdsm relationships..... If a man has a problem with you going to his house, he's probably either married or worried about a serious girlfriend showing up while you are there. Sorry you got hurt and hope my advice helps you weed out players.

_____________________________

Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to SweetShyBBW4u)

Post #: 34

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 12:11:08 PM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetShyBBW4u

This was not an online thing this was real time

How long has it been since you've had contact? If it's been longer then two weeks, I say you move on.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to SweetShyBBW4u)

Post #: 35

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 12:15:44 PM

slaveish

Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline

It's not likely you've done anything wrong, although I don't know the whole story. Maybe you were so good that he questioned his ability to command you. Or, perhaps, he was more interested in the chase.

If you have his phone number, call him and tell him you're moving on if he has no interest. If you don't have his number ... well ... move on and let him catch up.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to Stranger1)

Post #: 36

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 4:43:11 PM

rhiona

Posts: 18
Joined: 4/23/2007
From: NC
Status: offline

WELL said, Sir........

_____________________________

"....save me from the nothing i've become....", Evanescence, Fallen, Bring Me To Life

(in reply to SireKane)

Post #: 37

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 6:50:47 PM

CrazyC

Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline

To say what no one else has....I am sure it is the most hard because you feel no closure. So take a deep breath, let the guy go, and remember you were wonderful he just didn't have any follow through. That even though it is hard to see right now, you will be able to submit to another. Next time you'll just know better what to look for.

Your profile says you are taking a break. When you are ready, get back on the wagon. I promice not all of the Doms you meet here will be like that. ((hugs)) Chin up girl....

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to rhiona)

Post #: 38

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 7:07:30 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SireKane

Most men in this lifestyle are tops at best. Vanilla guys, with a twist of kink.

When a top, posing as a dominant, tires of the role, and the submissive has not given him grounds to release her, it is common for him to simply abandon the relationship leaving the submissive bewildered.

Men need to understand that there is no rank or hierarchy amongst men, whether you are a top, dom, or master , there are no brownie points. Just be honorable, without honesty there can be no consent.

Kane

I always have to laugh at people who want to throw labels on others such as "just a top" and yet always want to wear the bright shiny one themselves. Good thing there are amazing people like you out there who don't judge us lesser mortals.

In fact, I would venture is it pompous asses who call people "just tops" who FORCE people to act like some bullshit trumped up roll rather than saying "I am a kick ass top" which is every bit as valid and hard a roll as being dominant. One could make up an equally pompous statement along the lines of "tops are secure enough in who they are that they needen't cloak themselves in bullshit labels 24/7 as opposed to insecure dominants" Just as idiotic and in fact WAS the opinion of the S&M community for a long time.

One of the many reasons the scene sickens me.

< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 5/1/2007 7:12:55 PM >

(in reply to SireKane)

Post #: 39

RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master - 5/1/2007 7:19:51 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nighthawk3569

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetShyBBW4u

I recently after having many sessions with a Master who I thought was great, finally submitted myself completly and according to him was amazing and the most well behave sub he had ever served him. After this, I knew that I wanted to serve him always but how for some reason he is ignoring me. He is on collarme everyday but when I send him a message, he reads it and never replies. What did I do wrong?

Obviously I can't know if this applies in your case, but there are ALOT of people on CM who have a problem getting mail through to other members here. It will show opened and read on the sender's end, but it turns out that the receiving party never actually received it. Just a possibility for you to consider. Good luck either way. :)

Say it ain't so, marieToo! But in case it is, give me your opinion, as a sub, on this scenario: A Top/Dom/Master writes you...you're not interested and don't reply...a week or so later, you get another message from this same person, asking you if you got the original message. Would you be offended by this follow-up message? Assuming that both messages were polite, well written messages. Thanks.

No, I'd not at all be offended by someone emailing me a polite note...or two for that matter. However, I would have responded, and told him nicely that I was not interested.

Ok....I get what you're asking. In other words, sometimes people rec've the mail but don't respond, so you don't know who is getting it and who is having tech difficulties. But if they arent getting the mail, they won't get the second one either, so you will still never know. Id "hint hint" them on the MB.

< Message edited by marieToo -- 5/1/2007 7:22:44 PM >

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to nighthawk3569)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Being Ignored after submitting to a Master

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109