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how do you know? - 5/2/2007 12:30:49 AM   
chisubintraining


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		How do you know if someone is a Dom? where i live there is someone that when i got on the elevator he saw my necklace with the BDSM symbol on it and the sub but said nothing. but his attitude towards me cchanged. not in a bad way tho. i know i can't go out and ask hey are you a Dom that would be rude and could change the way he is all total. so agian i aska how do you know who is a Dom?
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RE: how do you know? - 5/2/2007 12:37:26 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings,

you don't unless you ask or they tell you, really.

annabelle.


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a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to chisubintraining)
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RE: how do you know? - 5/2/2007 1:28:24 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		you have to find yourself a Dom-detector...its a special ring that glows when a Dom is near...could be trouble if you get in an elevator at a convention tho........

(in reply to hisannabelle)
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RE: how do you know? - 5/2/2007 2:28:01 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		I think most animals recognise their own kind, even if they don't always know what it is they're finding affinity with.  That said, the thing I look for r/l is some primal "recognition" in the eyes.  I also don't know what it is beyond being fascinated by fem/sub eyes; just as every sub I've met has been drawn to mine. 
 
Dom/mes are generally looked on as the ones to take initiatives etc.  If I saw your BDSM necklace, I'd also see the perfect opportunity to ask about it, though probably in a subtle way....  And I'd do it with my eyes burning right into yours - just to see if you try to look anywhere except back at mine!  lol 
 
You say his attitude changed in a good way.  That could easily be a primal response to something he recognises in you.  And what about you?  Since none of us come with Dom/me or sub emblazened across our foreheads, is there anything new or otherwise you recognise in his eyes or manner etc, esp in your presence?  Wishful thinking doesn't count.... lol
 
Seems you see each other fairly regularly....  If he is the Dom you think, I don't see why nature wouldn't take its naural course at least as far as striking up a conversation or two - even if he's married (*gasp*.... and lol).  I wouldn't let you get away without at least one decent chat....
 
And welcome to the Forums....
 
Focus.

(in reply to chisubintraining)
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RE: how do you know? - 5/2/2007 2:55:54 AM   
MsCara


Posts: 31
Joined: 6/26/2004
Status: offline 		If you don't already .. call him Sir and watch .. <grins>.   I had someone do something similar once and I finally said, "do you know what my symbol is?"    I wear mine all of the time as well .. it is amazing how many "thumbs up" I have gotten from total strangers.

(in reply to Focus50)
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RE: how do you know? - 5/2/2007 2:57:01 AM   
MsCara


Posts: 31
Joined: 6/26/2004
Status: offline 		since when does wishful thinking not count?  ::blink

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RE: how do you know? - 5/2/2007 3:25:28 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCara

since when does wishful thinking not count?  ::blink

It gets you into trouble if you're only seeing what you wanna see rather than what is really there to see....  Or you knew that - "::blink" = blinkered?  lol
 
Focus.

(in reply to MsCara)
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RE: how do you know? - 5/2/2007 3:45:30 AM   
MsCara


Posts: 31
Joined: 6/26/2004
Status: offline 		oh crap .. okay.   <grins>

(in reply to Focus50)
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RE: how do you know? - 5/2/2007 4:11:15 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		you might want to read up on something

triskele

this symbol is not unique to bdsm practitioners & the basic shape has many translations within many clutures that go back many centuries

It is written that in 1994 within AOL chats, Quagmyre, with the help of others, created an variation of this ancient symbol as a way for others to pick each other out in a crowd. Well since this symbol has much deeper roots in history many people may view it & refer its shape back to ancient Celtic Paganism.

So with that said... don't be so sure that all these thumbs up mean that you are all on the same page with what this means.

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MstrssPassion


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RE: how do you know? - 5/2/2007 4:18:08 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		how do we know?

we don't unless we ask or the person reveals it to us

but after years of being in this & meeting thousands of others who are as well... I've been pretty point on about picking out people in "vanilla" areas of life as well. I've walked right up to people in places in the grocery store & asked questions like, haven't I seen you at the munch or were you at "such-n-suchs" play party last month? If they were to look at me all weird then I would have just said, oh sorry... thought you looked familiar. I've done this several times & not once did I have to worry about a cover story.
I guess it's one of those cases where it takes one to know one

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MstrssPassion


(in reply to chisubintraining)
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RE: how do you know? - 5/2/2007 4:42:19 AM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		Pheromones... (LOL)
This is similar to the objective/subjective question recently asked.

Rather than exercising dominance by interrogating another, demonstrate submission by asking permission to share something about yourself. Then the conversation can naturally develop to the extent of his experience. For example, share when and how you got your necklace. Express your curiosity in knowing whether he has seen the symbol before. Share your interest in hearing him express his "infinite wisdom" about the symbol. (I.e., masturbate the ego of a dominant).

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: how do you know? - 5/2/2007 4:49:52 AM   
marylynn


Posts: 84
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		I think dominant men are sexy as hell - and the ones I have met -know- what/who you are by first glance.
But maybe I'm spoiled that way, though, because I'm very submissive.
everyone I meet (for first time) knows I would bend over backwards to please them.

but you won't know unless you ask :)
good luck

(in reply to aldompdx)
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RE: how do you know? - 5/2/2007 4:50:46 AM   
hammernhoney


Posts: 268
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Thats the problem you can't really tell, from the most mild manner every day Joe to the postman...YOU can't tell by appearance or actions...ITS all in the attitude..You find so many long wind know it alls that are preaching the "true? way in theses forums and in RL theses are the ones to avoid..as always just the views of this ol' master....bounty

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RE: how do you know? - 5/2/2007 6:09:42 AM   
MadameButterfly


Posts: 29
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline 		If it were me... I would strike up a conversation and move it towards the topic of your pendant. Take a leap you never know what can happen

Madame Butterfly


(in reply to hammernhoney)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: how do you know? - 5/2/2007 6:16:17 AM   
CypherEnigma


Posts: 62
Joined: 7/24/2005
Status: offline 		I use Sir and see how they react. If they are Dom you usually get a smile.

(in reply to MadameButterfly)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: how do you know? - 5/2/2007 6:52:45 AM   
MadameButterfly


Posts: 29
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline 		CypherEnigma

That is a great idea!

Basic lifestyle protocols do translate in the "Vanilla" world.  I agree try that see what happens... and I am dying to know what happens


Madame Butterfly

(in reply to CypherEnigma)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: how do you know? - 5/2/2007 7:24:23 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		There's also the often forgotten practice of flagging.



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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: how do you know? - 5/2/2007 7:29:28 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

There's also the often forgotten practice of flagging.


Flagging?  Midwestern, innocent and angelic dominant male here...

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: how do you know? - 5/2/2007 7:44:28 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
Flagging?  Midwestern, innocent and angelic dominant male here...

Sigh, not your fault, but a million homosexual kinky people just smacked their foreheads.

Also known as the "hanky code," a system of wearing different colored hankies in your back pockets to "flag" what you were into or interested in doing that night.  Left side = top/giver, right side = bottom/receiver

There's lots of sites out there which give lists of colors and codes, you can also use pieces of rope or handcuffs or some other physical object to more directly denote what you're into.

Since most heterosexuals don't enjoy cruising and prefer the more traditional vanilla courtship rituals, the hanky code doesn't have as much prevalence or practicality- but chances are you can see at least a few "flagging" at big events.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: how do you know? - 5/2/2007 7:54:01 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
Flagging?  Midwestern, innocent and angelic dominant male here...

Sigh, not your fault, but a million homosexual kinky people just smacked their foreheads.


Sorry to have caused you all such pain....

Also known as the "hanky code," a system of wearing different colored hankies in your back pockets to "flag" what you were into or interested in doing that night.  Left side = top/giver, right side = bottom/receiver

There's lots of sites out there which give lists of colors and codes, you can also use pieces of rope or handcuffs or some other physical object to more directly denote what you're into.

Since most heterosexuals don't enjoy cruising and prefer the more traditional vanilla courtship rituals, the hanky code doesn't have as much prevalence or practicality- but chances are you can see at least a few "flagging" at big events.


Thank you very much for the answer to this midwestern, angelic, dominant sort...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 20
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