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Plan B - 5/3/2007 9:09:42 PM

puella

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So who out here has a Plan B or person B.... If you are plan or person B... how do you feel about it...

By 'plan B' I mean.... the person you reconcile yourself to, or the person you turn to when your heart is broken and you resort to knowing you will never really get what you really want... just the shit you settle for...

What kind of masochism/sadism is Plan B?

< Message edited by puella -- 5/3/2007 9:10:49 PM >

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Post #: 1

RE: Plan B - 5/3/2007 9:12:51 PM

SimplyMichael

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Joined: 1/7/2007
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Puella,

You are a fabulous woman and it is really too bad you don't know it. Anyone who thinks of you as plan B is an asshole.

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 2

RE: Plan B - 5/3/2007 9:14:41 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
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I wish I could tell you that I have a Plan A...

As far as being someone else's Plan B, I'm not sure that's something I could deal with from a confidence standpoint. I don't think I would like the feeling of being someone's go to person, as a last resort. That's an emotional masochism level that wouldn't be healthy for me.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 3

RE: Plan B - 5/3/2007 9:23:51 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
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when i read the thread title i thought this was going to be on emergency birth control ;)

quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette
As far as being someone else's Plan B, I'm not sure that's something I could deal with from a confidence standpoint. I don't think I would like the feeling of being someone's go to person, as a last resort. That's an emotional masochism level that wouldn't be healthy for me.

i'm with spanklette on this one. i've been someone's plan b before, and i don't like it. i don't have a "plan b."

and i agree with simplymichael as well...puella, you are a plan a girl. you are too lovely to be anyone's second fiddle.

annabelle.

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i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to spanklette)

Post #: 4

RE: Plan B - 5/3/2007 9:27:02 PM

BondageTopJere

Posts: 170
Joined: 8/22/2006
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Lol, if only I had this problem, because getting to the Plan B person require having actaully had a Plan A one at some point.

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Post #: 5

RE: Plan B - 5/3/2007 9:43:41 PM

IrishMist

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Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

What kind of masochism/sadism is Plan B?

the kind that slowly and methodically destroys the soul and spirit.

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Post #: 6

RE: Plan B - 5/3/2007 9:46:03 PM

Sirandlittle1

Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline

To all you plan B's out there.

People can only treat you as a plan b, for as long as you allow them to!

Vote with your feet, or put up and shut up. You decide your worth, not another.
little1

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 7

RE: Plan B - 5/3/2007 9:49:40 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I have had someone attempt to keep me as a plan B, but I got a life

. Seriously, if someone came to me everytime they broke up with someone else expecting me to pick up their pieces I wouldn't go there.

I had a plan B when I was on the rebound from my marriage. It is a really wrong thing to do, and I have regretted it more than once. I was young and hurting and alone. I swore I would never do that again, and so far I have remained true to that.

Many times people start out as plan B, but end up being anything but that. It does happen, especially when both people are using each other for a plan B, and surprisingly enough figure out they are each other's A. It happened to my mom. After she lost my father, she started dating a divorcee. They ended up together for over 20 years, until he passed away too.... Neither were a plan A, they were just trying to get along in the world a day at a time... it happens.

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(in reply to puella)

Post #: 8

RE: Plan B - 5/3/2007 10:00:16 PM

MagiksSlave

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Joined: 9/11/2006
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I dont play secent fiddle, why should I, when there is a first chair some where out there for me!!!

Magik's slave

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If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 9

RE: Plan B - 5/3/2007 10:12:34 PM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

Well...see being poly, I currently have Plan A...he's the one I go to when Plan B never works out (subs, females, other lovers). But while I have good friends who have been a shoulder to cry on when relationships fail, I don't have on steady person that I cry to.

But then I tend to have long relationships, never done the '2 or 3 months' and then it is over thing.

~E

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'cause when i look down /i just miss all the good stuff / when i look up / i just trip over things

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Post #: 10

RE: Plan B - 5/3/2007 11:05:52 PM

canupleaseme

Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
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The only time Ive ever had a plan B was the last year of my marraige. My plan didnt involve another person though.
I think if I was someones plan B it would wear me down. Never be second best, life is way to short

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Proud mistress

(in reply to Elorin)

Post #: 11

RE: Plan B - 5/4/2007 12:35:05 AM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
Many times people start out as plan B, but end up being anything but that. It does happen, especially when both people are using each other for a plan B, and surprisingly enough figure out they are each other's A.

Sometimes you think you are someone's Plan B but find out that, amazingly, you were their Plan A all along. They just thought you had them as your Plan B so they didn't try very hard even though they were your Plan A too. Sometimes it's all communication, communication, communication.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 12

RE: Plan B - 5/4/2007 2:25:24 AM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
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I second what Simply Michael said.

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great day, I will tease you all the same."
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(in reply to puella)

Post #: 13

RE: Plan B - 5/4/2007 2:42:32 AM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
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I have always been someone who's used the alphabetic plan system.
Plan A is that mythical creature I search for, who most likely doesnt exist.
Plan B is who ever can/will/does come as close as possible to Plan A.
Plan C is my reality and where I spend most of my time. It's where all the realizations that at where I am in life that I may need to alter Plans A and B. But this plan doesnt include settling for at all. This is where I try to build strength in myself and better myself in ways that assist in realizing I'll be ok when none of the damn plans work out.

On the flip side of that. It's the reality of my Plan C that helps me avoid being Plan B to another.

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 14

RE: Plan B - 5/4/2007 2:48:18 AM

m0rgan

Posts: 403
Joined: 3/19/2007
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theres a plan??

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Post #: 15

RE: Plan B - 5/4/2007 2:56:29 AM

Aileen68

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I've had relationships with plan b people. At the time and the place, they were plan a. I've been a plan b for one and a plan c for another. I didn't mind being plan b since they were also my plan b, but I didn't like being plan c. I felt like an afterthought most of the times with him.

That was confusing.

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 16

RE: Plan B - 5/4/2007 4:17:14 AM

windchymes

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Joined: 4/18/2005
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I've been Plan B a couple times and, at the risk of sounding all melodramatic, it almost destroyed me. Took me a long time to get self-confidence back and get rid of self-loathing for allowing it to happen. I feel an overwhelming sense of "there must be something wrong with me, why wasn't I good enough?"...and so on

Now, at the first whiff of suspicion that I may be a Plan B, I'm out that door so fast, hoping the door WILL hit me in the ass, because it will help me get away even faster!

I won't be anybody's back-up plan!

_____________________________

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Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 17

RE: Plan B - 5/4/2007 4:25:50 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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I willingly placed myself in a position to be 'plan B'; and like you said wind, it slowly destroys the spirit and the soul. Never again.

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

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Post #: 18

RE: Plan B - 5/4/2007 4:34:07 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

{fast reply}

I don't have this sort of plan B in my life

over a decade ago I made a commitment to self, to never settle for anything or anyone who is less than best for me

because of this I could never be a plan b & any plan b that would have existed would have been eliminated

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 19

RE: Plan B - 5/4/2007 5:31:44 AM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
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Hello Elorin,

I think you are nibbling aound the edges of something really interesting (and what really prompted my question.. I was not necessarily getting super personal with this post, I just thought it would make interesting conversation and ideas surface.. but thanks to everyone for the love, heh!)

So you do utilze a plan B person now and again.. it would be interesting to hear from a plan B person in a similar situation ... there is a lot of darkness immediately associated with being a plan B (on my part as well).. I wonder if there are those who are happy and fulfilled with that place?

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

(in reply to Elorin)

Post #: 20

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