Loaning out your sub

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Loaning out your sub

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Loaning out your sub

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Loaning out your sub - 5/4/2007 9:05:27 AM

Nikko1962

Posts: 31
Joined: 2/7/2007
Status: offline

To learn more about your sub's psyche and/or devotion to you, have you ever loaned your submissive to someone that you trusted, but this person was someone you knew your sub didn’t like for an evening of play or a weekend while you were away?

_____________________________

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

If you are going to hide in the haystack from me, at least make a little noise.

http://www.myspace.com/124184605

Post #: 1

RE: Loaning out your sub - 5/4/2007 9:19:32 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

No I have never loaned him out and probably never will. I am responsible for him and his safety and honestly, I just do not trust other people all that much. I know him well enough to know he is devoted and I know pretty much how his mind works. Although with that said I do realize that we cannot know every facet of a another persons mind, I think I know him pretty well. He wouldn't want to serve anyone but me, why is that? He is dominant to everyone-except- me, he doesn't give his submission out like candy that is just how he is wired.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to Nikko1962)

Post #: 2

RE: Loaning out your sub - 5/4/2007 9:25:46 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I have to tend to agree with Lashara. I had this conversation one time with My (at the time) Pet, and it went something like this....

Pet: Would you ever loan Me out?
LP: It would depend on the circumstances, and if it was something W/we felt you needed to experience.
Pet: Would you want Me to do it?
LP: Not really.
Pet: Then why would you? Are you really a masochist deep down?

Generally, My boys are too important to Me to loan out to anyone else. Now, if I were there, and participating with him, that might be another story.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 3

RE: Loaning out your sub - 5/4/2007 9:42:36 AM

Einzelganger

Posts: 221
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Orlando, FL
Status: offline

I know this is the Ask a Mistress forum, but I feel rather strongly about this, so I thought I'd share my thoughts briefly, in the case that anyone should want a sub's perspective.

I don't know if most subs are like me or not, but when I submit to my woman, I submit to her. Not her friends, not anyone she chooses. Just her. I do it out of love, devotion, and a level of trust I would not extend to her friends. Granted, some may say that, if I truly trusted her, I'd let her loan me to someone else. Well, the trust might still be there, but the love and devotion parts would be missing completely. Also, the sort of trust a submissive places in their dominant involves the sub's life and well-being...just another thing to keep in mind.

To many, this phrase is getting old, but the basic meaning still holds true, for me. My submission is a gift. It's a very special gift, one that I am giving to one woman only. It is not a credit card, to be passed about to anyone she pleases, be it for favours or friendship on her part; I doubt any woman to whom I'd submit would ever ask that of me.

So, a question for the Dommes: if someone you loved gave you a precious gift, one that could not be replaced with one identical to it, would you casually loan it out to your friends? Just a little food for thought...

-Einzelgänger

P.S. My apologies if I'm looking at this in the wrong light, or if I've been blinded by my past experiences.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 4

RE: Loaning out your sub - 5/4/2007 9:44:48 AM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

If a submissive consented to be loaned out for certain things, I would do it. I would have no hesitation in asking a submissive to work with another Dominant to learn a skill or technique that I could not teach.

I would not intentionally loan a submissive out to someone he or she did not like. I value my submissives' loyalties and think this would be more damaging than informative.

~Elorin

_____________________________

'cause when i look down /i just miss all the good stuff / when i look up / i just trip over things

(in reply to Einzelganger)

Post #: 5

RE: Loaning out your sub - 5/4/2007 9:52:00 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

Never have.
Never will.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to Nikko1962)

Post #: 6

RE: Loaning out your sub - 5/4/2007 9:59:29 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

I would only loan out that which meant least to me.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to Nikko1962)

Post #: 7

RE: Loaning out your sub - 5/4/2007 12:08:46 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

no no no....I don't do that. The closest thing to loaning would be allowing my sub to bottom for someone specific purpose while I was there overseeing everything. I am picky, I don't want my toys broken, and I don't trust people that much. nope, no way, just ain't gonna do it.

D~

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 8

RE: Loaning out your sub - 5/4/2007 12:44:23 PM

Action

Posts: 260
Joined: 8/19/2005
From: Cali
Status: offline

This is a complicated one for me, becuase I would never "loan" out my boy, but he has a very very strong want to serve many with me at the head. One of his biggest fantasies is being used by me and a group of female friends with me at the lead, to use him publicly in front of them then leave him to them to freely use.

But I would never leave him to another, not without a serious connection and set of guidelines and getting to know them very well beforehand. As he becomes more fully mine I don't even see doing that, only now in the early stages so he relizes Im the one he'll devote him too fully and that another Domme is never going to be the same.

_____________________________

The only ones for me are the mad ones....who burn burn burn like fabulous roman candles. -Jack Kerouac

(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 9

RE: Loaning out your sub - 5/4/2007 1:19:28 PM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

quote:

So, a question for the Dommes: if someone you loved gave you a precious gift, one that could not be replaced with one identical to it, would you casually loan it out to your friends? Just a little food for thought...

Yes, if it was someone I knew could be trusted with it. I don't think the word "casually", however, belongs in that sentence as if loaning out equated to the decision being a casual one. It would not be and it would only be to someone I trusted completely.

Now, my definition of loaning someone out may be different than others. However, I would have zero qualms about say someone is having a party and needs help. They call me and ask if they can borrow my boy for some heavy lifting. Um, sure, no problem. If he balked at that for any other reason than time constraints/family issues, I'd be surprised and disappointed.

For play, if I am there, I will be much more generous about him being the bottom to someone else's play. If I am not there, it would epend on the activity and who the person is. Service is the same way. For example, my best friend, Ms. S. was having back issues. My boy is an excellent masseur. I offered him to go give her a masssage. I asked him if he would mind (yes, asked). He did not. He made arrangements.

If it was an act he enjoyed and I had little experience in, I would prefer to learn it myself and would go about doing so, possibly co topping with someone more experienced. If it was an activity he enjoyed and I did not...maybe, maybe not. Case by case basis but frankly, I can not think of one thing we are so at polar opposites about anyway. If there was something like that, I doubt we'd be together because a significant need is not being met.

If I was to loan him out, it would be with both of them knowing exactly what is and is not ok. He also has every right (and responsibility) to decline anything he knew I would not like or he could not go through with.

As far as loaning him to someone I knew he did not like, no way. I could not do that to him. Also, the odds of that happening where I had a level of trust and friendship with a person and he did not like them at all is so slim I can not really imagine it. We met through friends and we run in the same circles. Again, compatibility there. But, given the possibility, no I would never loan him out to anyone with whom he'd feel uncomfortable for any reason.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to Action)

Post #: 10

RE: Loaning out your sub - 5/4/2007 2:09:02 PM

KaramelGoddess

Posts: 404
Joined: 6/20/2006
Status: offline

Hi Nikko,

After three years of a solid D/s relationship I would have to say... no.
My boy is a delight. He is caring, funny, very intelligent and he is the epitome of a submissive (for Me). We have a beautiful relationship and we know each other inside out. Sometimes he says "Mistress thank you for loving and understanding me." I have to say he understands Me too, and when others would have run away, he has stayed.
He is My property, he is Mine to care for. He is a treasure to be cherished. I would not trust any other Domina with what is Mine. And to be honest, he doesn't want to serve anyone else.
If either of us needs to learn skills - then we'll learn them together. It's not as if I want him to learn how to cook Indian food or make flower arrangements. D/s is something much more physical and above all, personal.
With Kind Regard,
~Kara

_____________________________

"Never eat more than you can lift." ~ Miss Piggy

(in reply to Nikko1962)

Post #: 11

RE: Loaning out your sub - 5/4/2007 2:52:26 PM

Einzelganger

Posts: 221
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Orlando, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

Yes, if it was someone I knew could be trusted with it. I don't think the word "casually", however, belongs in that sentence as if loaning out equated to the decision being a casual one. It would not be and it would only be to someone I trusted completely.

Now, my definition of loaning someone out may be different than others. However, I would have zero qualms about say someone is having a party and needs help. They call me and ask if they can borrow my boy for some heavy lifting. Um, sure, no problem. If he balked at that for any other reason than time constraints/family issues, I'd be surprised and disappointed.

For play, if I am there, I will be much more generous about him being the bottom to someone else's play. If I am not there, it would epend on the activity and who the person is. Service is the same way. For example, my best friend, Ms. S. was having back issues. My boy is an excellent masseur. I offered him to go give her a masssage. I asked him if he would mind (yes, asked). He did not. He made arrangements.

If it was an act he enjoyed and I had little experience in, I would prefer to learn it myself and would go about doing so, possibly co topping with someone more experienced. If it was an activity he enjoyed and I did not...maybe, maybe not. Case by case basis but frankly, I can not think of one thing we are so at polar opposites about anyway. If there was something like that, I doubt we'd be together because a significant need is not being met.

If I was to loan him out, it would be with both of them knowing exactly what is and is not ok. He also has every right (and responsibility) to decline anything he knew I would not like or he could not go through with.

As far as loaning him to someone I knew he did not like, no way. I could not do that to him. Also, the odds of that happening where I had a level of trust and friendship with a person and he did not like them at all is so slim I can not really imagine it. We met through friends and we run in the same circles. Again, compatibility there. But, given the possibility, no I would never loan him out to anyone with whom he'd feel uncomfortable for any reason.

I agree; I was a bit off in using the term 'casually' in such context. I would never mind if my future Mistress were to ask me to help someone in a way that had nothing to do with my being rendered defenseless for a time without her presence, or in a sexual manner. But helping out her friends move, etc., I'd be glad to help. *smiles*

Great post, I found myself agreeing to everything you've said.

-Einzelgänger

< Message edited by Einzelganger -- 5/4/2007 2:53:29 PM >

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 12

RE: Loaning out your sub - 5/4/2007 3:26:01 PM

SunNMoon

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

nope he's mine.

(in reply to Einzelganger)

Post #: 13

RE: Loaning out your sub - 5/4/2007 3:44:45 PM

Unrepentant1

Posts: 283
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline

Why would you give away something you have waited so long to find?

(in reply to SunNMoon)

Post #: 14

RE: Loaning out your sub - 5/4/2007 7:36:32 PM

kajirusilk

Posts: 49
Joined: 11/5/2006
Status: offline

Wouldn't be prudent

(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 15

RE: Loaning out your sub - 5/4/2007 7:40:58 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

No, my boys are too valuable to me.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Nikko1962)

Post #: 16

RE: Loaning out your sub - 5/5/2007 4:46:25 AM

Wickad

Posts: 428
Joined: 3/12/2005
Status: offline

Gotta agree with MsKatHouston on this one.

Wickad

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 17

RE: Loaning out your sub - 5/5/2007 5:10:16 AM

DiannaVesta

Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline

I also agree with Kat. There are special circumstances where I would but not without a lot of consideration and ONLY with a very trusted Domina/friend. Sure I have guys I talk to on the phone, part time playmates I loan out all the time because they live in another state and its just not that serious. A personal slave/lover, my main squeeze lol- is MINE and that's how its going to stay.

Now if my slave wanted to attended a party and I just didn't want to go I MAY send him/her along with a very good dominant friend.

_____________________________

(in reply to Wickad)

Post #: 18

RE: Loaning out your sub - 5/5/2007 7:33:33 AM

LadyIce

Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

Never, this sounds like something a man would say.
Does this also include sex with 2 women?
My submissive is allowed to "serve" my friends, drinks, food, etc.
That is as far as it would ever go.

(in reply to Nikko1962)

Post #: 19

RE: Loaning out your sub - 5/5/2007 10:23:45 AM

Nikko1962

Posts: 31
Joined: 2/7/2007
Status: offline

Thanks everyone for the kind and thoughtful responses. This was my first time to post a question and was a little nervous about it.

_____________________________

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

If you are going to hide in the haystack from me, at least make a little noise.

http://www.myspace.com/124184605

(in reply to DiannaVesta)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Loaning out your sub

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094