GoddessDustyGold
Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004 From: Arizona Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dark~angel Its all very easy for us as a 'group' - 'minority' - 'section of population' - whatever you want to call ourselves to make a huge list on what people should and must be called. But why? What gives us the right to take words used in everyday modern language, manipulate them into our meaning and then expect people outside of wiitwdjust accept our definitions without wonderng the hell why? No one has the right to call me 'girl' or 'sub' or anything - They can try - but doesn't make it or them, right. dark~angel, here is My point exactly. I do not say that anyone has the right to call you anything. Or treat you in anyway but with respect. That is reserved for your owner, and you do make clear you have an owner. Those that think just because you identify as a female submissive, on this site, or anywhere in print, gives them the right to treat you with disrespect, is a fool, IMO. What is the definition of a female submissive, dark~angel? Should W/we have one? Do W/we need one? I think I can say with confidence that the definition of female submissive is *not*, "I am a slut and you can write degrading things to me or about me because I am inferior and I am just around to get you off and send you lots of sexy pictures of myself." Now I wonder how many people think that this is, in fact, a basic definition of a female submissive? Because of all the crap they read on message boards and see in chatrooms? And I might add here that many male submissives (tongue in cheek for use of word *submissive*) have the same general attidue towards Female Dominants. If We have an ad, we must be whores, and therefore they have a perfect right to send Us nasty emails and complain if W/we won't cyber with them. That's what We are here for after all, right? But this is not what W/we are talking about. W/we are saying that there should be basic ideas of what the definitions are for Bondage, flogging, CBT, slave, submissive, Dominant, et al. Then it can be expanded upon, or decreased according to an individuals comfort level. Now if W/we had some basic definitions in this lifestyle, and people adhered to these definitions, then those that just want to play at being big shots or think that they have to crawl around and call themselvs a "worm" would soon find themselves getting no kick at all in a realistic BDSM - D/s community. Because the consistency of the basic idea of respect and definition would be consisently adhered to by A/all. Then they can go develop or find their own playgroup who thinks that this type of online disrespect is cool and fun and what it is all about. "Let's argue til the cows come home, because my way is the only way and the right way!" My way, is the way I prefer things in My personal relationships. I can share that on these boards, but it doesn't mean everyone has to agree, or take issue and tell Me I am wrong! And I am not talking about Dominants who think it is alright to demand things or show disrespect just because they say they are Dominants. And I am not talking about submissives who say that it is alright to treat others with disrespect just because they are not *your* submissive. W/we are all people, and W/we all should be accorded the same courtesty, regardless of O/our orientation. So many put forth thier views as "set in stone, I think this is stupid, and this is not how W/we do it, and this is the only way it should be acceptable", yada, yada, is exactly why there should be some sort of accepted, reasonable definitition as a starting point. And that does not have anything to do with BDSM. Using BDSM as an excuse to treat people with disrespect is just that: an excuse. What it does have to do with is common manners. W/we seem to be sadly lacking in manners. Instead of sharing our personal views and experiences on this board, too many end up getting into major arguments over why you have to do it their way, or you are wrong. And when newbies see this, how can they be expected to understand that this is not the way you approach someone on a personal level. This is supposed to be a good place to learn and share. I don't have a problem because I can see through the bullshit. Newbies may not be able to, and then they are just more confused.
< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 5/27/2005 3:50:09 PM >
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Dusty They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety B Franklin Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them The Hidden Kingdom
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