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My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my m... - 11/28/2011 6:35:59 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline 		AND....there's some Russian chick that REALLY fucking wants me.

(I've seen her picture and she has some really nice titties).

Anyway....I may be away for a while....seeing as how I can make my dick bigger (by "47%"...with nominal effort).

So all you chics that might be offering me something "Grand".....lemme tell you sumpin....I have emails that blow your fucking doors off......you ain't got shit.

My dick is going to be HUUUUUUUGE (it costs $29.95.....a fairly nominal amount, all things considered)....AND.....these chics from Russia are HOT (several have written to me PERSONALLY......yeah....that's right....they want me....).

So.....here's the deal.....I may be gone for a while because....

A:  My dick is going to be (shortly....poor choice of words but)....HUUUUUUUGE....and....

B:  These Russian chics are hot and they TOTALLY fucking want me.

(And you think I'm just being sotted up in all this....no....I know what's going on......check it out.....gonna have a Huuuuuuge dick....and....hot FOREIGN chics want a 53 year old, balding guy.....yerrr gawwwwdamn right).

(Oh....I forgot....my mortgage rate is going to drop to negative 40% {they're fucking paying me to borrow money}...and if you think I'm gonna miss out on that well.....).

I'll be back later.

Life is good.

J
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for ... - 11/28/2011 6:48:48 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		WHERE IS MY CAPYBARA??

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[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
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RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for ... - 11/28/2011 7:09:13 PM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		I WANT MY WINECOOLER (and Santa under the tree)!!!

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You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for ... - 11/28/2011 7:13:05 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

WHERE IS MY CAPYBARA??


Fucking whiners.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for ... - 11/28/2011 7:15:30 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		Be careful about those penis enlargement programs you buy on the internet.

I paid $29.95 for some black paint and a magnifying glass.

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Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
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RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for ... - 11/28/2011 7:55:39 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Be careful about those penis enlargement programs you buy on the internet.

I paid $29.95 for some black paint and a magnifying glass.


You bought the bullshit stuff...this is the real deal.

It's a vacujack......you just keep pumping the thing (inside the Plexiglas case) until your dick is the size of a small mansion within 2 or 3 blocks of Rodeo Drive.

I've heard some horrible things happening.....blood splattered all over the wall....guy (well....actually....corpse) sitting there with eyes wide open....dead....(somewhat embarrassing if it's your staff that finds you).

But I'm careful.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for ... - 11/28/2011 7:57:58 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Catz. Just saying.

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[page 23 girl]



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RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for ... - 11/28/2011 8:03:54 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Catz. Just saying.


I haven't seen that show....I apologize....but I need to focus on the hot Russian chics.....I need to give my all (which, I might add, has grown to exponential proportions).

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for ... - 11/28/2011 8:49:06 PM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico, so there...

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(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
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RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for ... - 11/28/2011 8:49:50 PM   
tolovetolaugh


Posts: 648
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico, so there...


Why are you bigoted against cavemen?


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That which yields, is not always weak. —
Jacqueline Carey (Kushiel's Dart)

I wrote a porn!
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3840531

(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for ... - 11/28/2011 9:08:15 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		This thread is funny. And I just updated my profile.

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for ... - 11/28/2011 10:30:28 PM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie
....I may be away for a while....seeing as how I can make my dick bigger (by "47%"...with nominal effort).

....my mortgage rate is going to drop to negative 40%

Life will be even better if you manage to drop all of them dots in your posts as well. Let me know if ever you succeed and I will lift the by me soon to applied Hide from your posts.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for ... - 11/28/2011 11:20:24 PM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		I = interest

I= penis inches ^6/3.3-21+X^2/0+1 X 0 + prime or LIBOR plus spread.

See how simple math can be ?

T^T

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for ... - 11/28/2011 11:36:19 PM   
MadAxeman


Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline 		I got a spam asking if I wanted my penis to be 12"
Am not folding it in half for anyone.

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Hitman for the Subby Mafia

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for ... - 11/29/2011 12:01:38 AM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		Twenty four ? You're in luck.

24/Y=EADGBE.

T^T

(in reply to MadAxeman)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for ... - 11/29/2011 12:18:01 AM   
outlier


Posts: 1111
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		Well,  Are you sure your too small?
You can go here and check  Penis Size Map

Do you drive one of these? 




Attachment (1)

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"A happy sex life may take years to achieve, but it’s worth it in the long run.
Worth the time, the thought - or rather, the thoughtfulness - and, often,
the waiting." Pete Seeger

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for ... - 11/29/2011 12:28:54 AM   
MadAxeman


Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline 		At least you're in tune Termy.
I can't drive outlier.
Not easy when you need a wheelbarrow just to walk anywhere.

_____________________________

Hitman for the Subby Mafia

(in reply to outlier)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for ... - 11/29/2011 2:12:55 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		Can't you get the russian girls and penis enlargement in a package deal? I saw an offer of only 127 small payments of $19.95 - that's a good deal!

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Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to MadAxeman)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for ... - 11/29/2011 3:14:04 AM   
GimpinDenial


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/20/2008
Status: offline 		That's ok... Soon, I'm going to be a multi-millionaire.

Yup, my buddy Fahrid from South Africa has hooked me up with this sweet deal
I already paid the 2k in taxes and now I am just waiting for the cash to flow on in to my bank account.


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Resident Gimp
I can only hope that in death, the sins of my life will be forgiven.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for ... - 11/29/2011 3:18:32 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		I'm waiting on my winnings from the online Australopithican Lottery. Alls I had to do was pay a little fee for validation and currency exchange! Lucky me! I don't even remember entering!

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Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to GimpinDenial)
Profile   Post #: 20
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