Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Difference between sub and slave.


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Difference between sub and slave. Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/18/2013 10:50:59 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven


quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

The words have no universally agreed upon meaning as far as BDSM is concerned.


Not only that, but trying to distinguish between the two can set off an argument usually associated with politics or religion.


This is so true! ROFL

OP, if I was to tell you that I need to be able to trust your: judgment and stability as a person; your ability to manage money, people and events that occur in your life; your emotional stability in adverse conditions; as well as no scat, permanent injury; children, animals and illegal activities;

Would I then have no limits?

Historically, the ancient Romans COULD .. cut off a slaves finger, hand ... or whatever, if it pleased the Owner. Or anything else, if it pleased the Owner. People were bought and sold on the auction block. Pure property!

That honestly, isn't legal in our society ,,, so the word slave in a traditional sense is impossible.

But with some limits, we can agree on a definition and role ... No?

That is all you and your sub(s) or Dominant need to figure out between yourselves.

And BTW ... being called a slave does turn me on tremendously, when said by a beautifully attractive Lady, in an intimate situations.

So perhaps it is all really pet names, and the level of devotion demonstrated to the Mistress or Master. Along with personal preference. No?







_____________________________

Got my second paddle! Finally! :-)

Heck I had one in 2010 .. now in 2013 another! Yes you can say, i am just a gifted slow learner!

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/20/2013 7:52:11 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ROPENHIGHHEELS
Am I correct when I say that a submissive is a person with limits while a slave is a person without limits?

No.

The labels are undefined.

Even if the labels WERE defined actual humans would never fit them.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to ROPENHIGHHEELS)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/20/2013 10:16:05 AM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		~FR~

In the local area I started in, the word bottom was never used and in it's place was submissive. Submissive was a term used for those that were just into the play portion of it, and slave was used for those that were more into the relationship part of it. How it was explained to me is that a submissive may never have any type of kinky or BDSM relationship other than play and that a slave may never have any type of BDSM activity other than bondage necessary for confinement or physical punishment (neither of which are designed to bring enjoyment to anyone.)

As I moved out of that arena I found the multitude of terms used and many inter-changeable to others. I also moved further away from BDSM activities other than power exchange relationships. I then found those that were into just power exchange relationships used a few more labels, and some were used inter-changeable.

I then asked for a scorecard so I could keep track.

How I define those terms for myself are:

Submissive is a personality trait and denotes that the person defers to more dominant personalities, and prefers to not be in positions of authority.

Slave is someone who is completely subservient to a person or thing.

Those are how I see them but I would never expect others to see things as I do within this community.

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/20/2013 10:56:35 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		My basic understanding is definitely, a slave has chosen give up their right to make any decisions in their own life and have entrust all of that into a dom's hand and will defer to him in everything. Clearly in a realistic world where true slavery is illegal, and where even a slave will always have a way out of slavery, compatibility makes this more effective.
And a Sub picks and chooses what they allow a dom to control.

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/20/2013 11:12:54 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ROPENHIGHHEELS

Am I correct when I say that a submissive is a person with limits while a slave is a person without limits? When I see profiles on here which say "I'm looking for a submissive that's a slave" it makes me wonder if they have any clue about the lifestyle. Or is it my understanding of the two words that is wrong? Explanations are appreciated.


I know when I want to have a better understanding of a statement. Typically I will ask random strangers.... Instead of going directly to the source. ie the person that said it.

Just saying BadOne


_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to ROPENHIGHHEELS)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/20/2013 12:45:25 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline 		~FR~

quote:

ORIGINAL: ROPENHIGHHEELS

Am I correct when I say that a submissive is a person with limits while a slave is a person without limits? When I see profiles on here which say "I'm looking for a submissive that's a slave" it makes me wonder if they have any clue about the lifestyle. Or is it my understanding of the two words that is wrong? Explanations are appreciated.



No, you are not correct. A submissive is a person who submits and who prefers the word "submissive" to describe himself. Oustide of the BDSM community, a slave is a person who is involuntarily held to service. Within the community, a slave is a person who prefers the word "slave" to describe himself. I have known people in very heavy power exchange dynamics who don't use the words master and slave to describe themselves. I have known others in very casual relationships who do use those words. So, in the end, there are no concrete, objective differences between these words. It's a matter of "whatever floats your boat."

(in reply to ROPENHIGHHEELS)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/20/2013 12:51:43 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle

~FR~

quote:

ORIGINAL: ROPENHIGHHEELS

Am I correct when I say that a submissive is a person with limits while a slave is a person without limits? When I see profiles on here which say "I'm looking for a submissive that's a slave" it makes me wonder if they have any clue about the lifestyle. Or is it my understanding of the two words that is wrong? Explanations are appreciated.



No, you are not correct. A submissive is a person who submits and who prefers the word "submissive" to describe himself. Oustide of the BDSM community, a slave is a person who is involuntarily held to service. Within the community, a slave is a person who prefers the word "slave" to describe himself. I have known people in very heavy power exchange dynamics who don't use the words master and slave to describe themselves. I have known others in very casual relationships who do use those words. So, in the end, there are no concrete, objective differences between these words. It's a matter of "whatever floats your boat."


I'm thinking the OP was trying to stir up the sub/slave topic for whatever reason. Referring to another user as clueless was my first "clue" <Like the subject has not been beat to death on CM over the years>

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/25/2013 1:29:05 PM   
CatBBW


Posts: 43
Joined: 9/20/2013
Status: offline 		Ah dang. I read this thread hoping it would all become clear, but now I'm none the wiser

I was trying to explain to Mr Cat earlier what the difference was (he asked). I *thought* I knew, until I started talking. And then I realised I didn't. In my mind, a slave is always a sub, but a sub isn't necessarily a slave. You could have a Dom/me who switched to being sub in playtimes, but s/he will never be a slave. Subs will clean the Dom/me's shoes, while the slave will lick them clean. And then I had to stop as Mr Cat's brain looked like it was about to explode.

So in my own mind there's a difference, while I accept there is no difference.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/25/2013 4:30:57 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatBBW
So in my own mind there's a difference, while I accept there is no difference.

This statement I totally understand. Between Carol and I there is a very definite difference. But if I'm seeking to understand some relationship other than my own the first step is recognizing that it's not my relationship and different rules apply.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to CatBBW)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/25/2013 4:42:51 PM   
ChrchofDrk


Posts: 304
Joined: 7/24/2013
Status: offline 		I tend to treat either the same. Whether sub or slave. Some may take umbrage with that, that's their problem. However, as I was taught. A submissive always retains the right to negotiate. Whereas the slave gives consent but once and from that point consent is always considered in place. Barring any predetermined hard limits

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/25/2013 5:04:28 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ROPENHIGHHEELS

Am I correct when I say that a submissive is a person with limits while a slave is a person without limits? When I see profiles on here which say "I'm looking for a submissive that's a slave" it makes me wonder if they have any clue about the lifestyle. Or is it my understanding of the two words that is wrong? Explanations are appreciated.


I haven't read any of the other replies, so I apologize if I repeat what has already been said.

Don't worry about labels and titles. Those are subjective and open to interpretation. All that matters is what you are looking for, and what your partner is looking for. If those two are compatible, then the labels really don't matter, do they?

Good luck to you.
-Roch

(in reply to ROPENHIGHHEELS)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/25/2013 5:07:59 PM   
AbsoluteOverlord


Posts: 13
Joined: 12/26/2004
Status: offline 		The difference between a sub and a slave is that a slave is too busy serving their owner and have no time to answer stupid questions like this.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/25/2013 6:53:39 PM   
Winterapple


Posts: 1343
Joined: 8/19/2011
Status: offline 		FR
Threads on this subject always turn out well.
This is only page two so the hysterical breakdown/hissy fits,
games of oneupmanship and the inevitable thread lock are
still to come.

All slaves are submissives but not all submissives are slaves.

In my mind they are two distinct things but for others the
definitions are blurrier. Some people are very turned on by
the word slave and use it giddily. Personally, I think the
word slave always has a somber or sober cast to it and is
at odds with dynamics that seem to consist of bedroom
bottoming for the most part. People can call themselves
whatever they like and define it as they choose. It's always
good to remember that how they define might not be how
another defines. When you see someone in a profile self
identifying as a slave or looking for a slave the common
sense thing to do would be to ask them how they define
it.

_____________________________

A thousand dreams within me softly burn.
Rimbaud




(in reply to AbsoluteOverlord)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/25/2013 7:19:43 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		I love this topic. Let me know when we get to the "if Master told you to chop off a finger" part.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Winterapple)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/25/2013 8:14:01 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I love this topic. Let me know when we get to the "if Master told you to chop off a finger" part.


Mine or his?  

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/25/2013 8:53:36 PM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline 		NM

< Message edited by theshytype -- 9/25/2013 9:23:23 PM >

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/25/2013 9:33:07 PM   
sexiifindomme


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/24/2013
Status: offline 		Interesting...

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/25/2013 10:21:35 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
I love this topic. Let me know when we get to the "if Master told you to chop off a finger" part.


Mine or his?  

Now that's funny as hell!


_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/26/2013 8:21:12 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
I love this topic. Let me know when we get to the "if Master told you to chop off a finger" part.

There's a rather amusing discussion on the other site of discussing the situation from the other side of the slash. New fetish being called lopping from the bottom.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Difference between sub and slave. - 9/26/2013 8:38:06 AM   
SunTzuSwe


Posts: 82
Joined: 4/25/2013
Status: offline 		I agree with the people who have commented on the inevitable breakdown for a thread like this one. Still it's imho ridiculously simple, the slave epithet is most likely used to denote a perceived deeper submission that reaches into everyday life in a notable way. But hey, there's no "one size fits all", there will always be disagreements.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Difference between sub and slave. Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.093