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RE: Need Guidance - 3/10/2014 12:33:03 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRobert007

This isn't all my fault. A submissive should never say, "Okay lets play with no hard limits." But once again, this is a completely different scene. It has nothing to do with my thread.

Wrong.

1) A Dominant knows that even if someone consents, it doesn't mean that it gets to be a free for all. (I'll also add that clearly, neither one of you are mature enough to understand that there are always limits and even non-consent situations need to be discussed)

2) A Dominant is the one in control which means it IS their responsibility to be responsible.

3) It has everything to do with this thread. What was in the first thread combined with what is in this thread shows that you're not somebody that can be trusted to use common sense, use good relationship practices or take the safety of his submissive into account. It also shows that you're not above asking for strangers to assault your ex-submissive. It gives people who respond to this thread a clearer picture of who you are....and that picture is NOT flattering.

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(in reply to MasterRobert007)

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RE: Need Guidance - 3/10/2014 12:44:31 PM

pg4g

Posts: 296
Joined: 12/31/2013
From: Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRobert007

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelical
So how are you personally defining consent?
Before play we both agreed that anything goes. There are no hard limits.

Did you discuss with her the idea that she might want to back out half way through, and her limits may change in the moment? Because that happens. And unless specifically discussed, this is most definitely rape and assault.

I discussed this with my partner for more than a year prior to doing anything like this. It took him that long before he trusted me not to report it as rape when he did so.

Just discussing before a scene is nothing. Institute a safeword, if you plan to play casually like this, that way you can gauge consent accurately.

"Consensual nonconsent" or the agreement between two partners that the sub can be ignored in their attempts to withdraw consent is EXTREMELY advanced play and requires both parties to know themselves and each other first. There are no excuses for this with casual play.

And as for punching in the stomach - this type of assault, apart from being extremely dangerous, would probably fall well out of what the sub expected you to do. Consent needs to be measured not only on what the sub agreed to - "No hard limits" - but what they thought they were agreeing to. They probably expected hair pulling, name calling, etc.

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RE: Need Guidance - 3/10/2014 12:49:05 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRobert007

Now that everything has been explained I want to stress how much I've learned and grew from all this. Thank you all.

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Those who do and those who don't!

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RE: Need Guidance - 3/10/2014 1:00:53 PM

VideoAdminChi

Posts: 3086
Joined: 8/6/2012
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FR,

This thread has reached the maximum allowed number of personal attacks and will remain locked. Do not started another thread with this identical subject matter.

< Message edited by VideoAdminChi -- 3/10/2014 1:06:30 PM >

(in reply to pg4g)

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Post #: 144