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RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/26/2006 12:33:34 PM

DivaDuchess

Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

Living in the area that we are currently located ... holding ones tongue has been the 'topic of the day' ... so I try (VERY hard) not to lump all men (or women as I've gotten email from them more often with the same crap), into one catagory. I think ... it truly depends on the person and what they are actually seeking. There are a LOT of players on any online location, weeding out those that are truly seeking from those that are playing is quite interesting.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 81

RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/26/2006 12:42:43 PM

naughtynick

Posts: 207
Joined: 1/20/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MyNameisMaam

naughtynick - if you really believe that "all males...are labeled" and that "all males...are judged...before we make an action" then I have to wonder what you are doing to perpetuate or to end the myth.

-Ma'am

I come here for a browse these days, I dont bother approaching women no more. They get enough attention as it is. As for a male, he is lucky to get attention. I dont have to demand sex or cyber in an email, I dont have to be sleazy at all and I still get ignored. I find cyber pointless and boring. I also find it pointless telling women what I am into because most of them dont give a shit, they have enough guys as it is chasing after them so they will move on to the guy with the most suitable interest. It's all about whats in it for them. Women have a wide choice of who to play with, a guys choice is very limited.

Women ignore men on here for the fun of it because simply they have it all. Lets face it, a woman can influence a man for a play in one day. The first day she joins this site she can get lucky on that night. As for a guy hahahaha, well stiff shit, chances are 98 percent of women we contact, we either get ignored or get a "sorry reply" (which I dont mind).

But I guess I will be seen as a whiner now just for making a point about how hard it is for males. Try putting the shoe on the other foot.

(in reply to MyNameisMaam)

Post #: 82

RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/26/2006 1:11:13 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick

how hard it is for males

Women making it hard is the point, isn't it? Then again, I think you're approaching this from a metaphysical angle.....

(in reply to naughtynick)

Post #: 83

RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/26/2006 1:20:54 PM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

It is harder for males. So? People deal with difficult situations all the time and this is one aspect of life. Most women I know do not prejudge men based on the idiots who post all the list of "don'ts" in emails. If anything, it sets the sincere ones that much more apart so they are more recognizable. Getting bitter about something which you can't change is rather pointless. Positive outlook and effort are the ways to find someone who is compatible. Anyone faced with a difficult issue can either deal with it, press on or be bitter about it. How one handles such things also says a lot about them.

I don't understand, though, why anyone would be irritated by the no's or getting ignored by women who obviously have no interest. The alternative is to find someone who is completely incompatible with you. That wouldn't work for too long either and would likely end badly.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to naughtynick)

Post #: 84

RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/26/2006 3:59:01 PM

naughtynick

Posts: 207
Joined: 1/20/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

It is harder for males. So? People deal with difficult situations all the time and this is one aspect of life. Most women I know do not prejudge men based on the idiots who post all the list of "don'ts" in emails. If anything, it sets the sincere ones that much more apart so they are more recognizable. Getting bitter about something which you can't change is rather pointless. Positive outlook and effort are the ways to find someone who is compatible. Anyone faced with a difficult issue can either deal with it, press on or be bitter about it. How one handles such things also says a lot about them.

I don't understand, though, why anyone would be irritated by the no's or getting ignored by women who obviously have no interest. The alternative is to find someone who is completely incompatible with you. That wouldn't work for too long either and would likely end badly.

Yes it is pointless complaining and I find it even more pointless when women are the complainers because they get it a lot more easier than males ever will. If I made a thread complaining about getting no attention from women instead of complaining about getting too much attention, I would have people left, right, and center criticizing me for the thread. I would be just another whining sub male or what ever. When I see women whine, in my eyes I just see another whining spoilt woman that all ready has it all but she wants more than all.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 85

RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/26/2006 5:50:00 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

But, nick, I believe you are missing the point - we DON'T want more than all ... we don't want at least 1/2 of the attention that we get. Honestly, I don't think that males have it any harder than females do - yeah, you have to make yourself stand out, but we have to find those that are actually worth something instead of being a player/fake/liar/cheat/whatever you want to call them. I can promise you that when we get an e-mail that isn't just a cut and paste of their profile, or an obvious form letter, or that makes it clear that they didn't read the profile, that I reply to it, even if it's someone that we are not interested in, for one reason or another. Other women who are worth your time and trouble are the same way, in my experience. Those who don't bother, or who are rude ... well, you know not to waste your time on them, don't you?

As for only seeing "another whining spoilt woman that all ready has it all but she wants more than all" ... trust me, most of us who are listing the things that we don't want are far from spoilt. I don't see how scraping to make ends meet, working overtime without getting paid for it, and coming home from work exhausted every day is spoilt ... and I know plenty of other Dommes who are in the same boat (or an even leakier one) as Holly and I are. All we are looking for is what I said before - someone who is honest and sincere, who believes that he could actually be what we are looking for, instead of trying to convince us that what we are looking for isn't really what we want. I'd rather have no attention at all than those who try to change our minds, or who don't even care if we change our minds or not, as long as we whip them and call them names *rolls eyes*

(in reply to naughtynick)

Post #: 86

RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/26/2006 6:46:33 PM

Reflectivesoul

Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick
I come here for a browse these days, I dont bother approaching women no more. They get enough attention as it is. As for a male, he is lucky to get attention. I dont have to demand sex or cyber in an email, I dont have to be sleazy at all and I still get ignored. I find cyber pointless and boring. I also find it pointless telling women what I am into because most of them dont give a shit, they have enough guys as it is chasing after them so they will move on to the guy with the most suitable interest. It's all about whats in it for them. Women have a wide choice of who to play with, a guys choice is very limited.

Women ignore men on here for the fun of it because simply they have it all. Lets face it, a woman can influence a man for a play in one day. The first day she joins this site she can get lucky on that night. As for a guy hahahaha, well stiff shit, chances are 98 percent of women we contact, we either get ignored or get a "sorry reply" (which I dont mind).

But I guess I will be seen as a whiner now just for making a point about how hard it is for males. Try putting the shoe on the other foot.

Kinda bitter and cynical dont ya think? A few points though...

1.) no we dont want to know your kinks on the first e-mail, it might be nice to oh lets see get an e-mail about what interested you about OUR profiles and OUR interests, not what you need to get off. After maybe trying to discuss what we may have in common then it would be an appropriate time to expand on interests.

2.) We hardly "have it all"..unless of course we have it all meaning.. all of the cum happy trolls that want US to provide them with wanking material reguardless of who we are or what we feel, or would it be we have all of the responsibility to make sure that every moron that mails us gets what he wants... pfft I'm glad someone thinks we have the time to do that and the actual desire to see you get what you want... pfffft.

I dont know about you but I'm pretty sure that everyone is here to get what they want , not to see that someone else has something.

For that matter too... I have just about as many unanswered mails as the next person so believe me, you arent the only one that doesnt get replies sometimes. ( but happily enough the ones I really was hoping for a reply from I got pretty much asap.... yay! heh.)

I also dont get into the whole "men have it rougher" thing either. Men have just as much of an option to sit and actually read a profile and to form a unique e-mail as women do yet it is by CHOICE that they send form letters and stupid letters, that is NOT OUR fault. If you want a decent reply then make the damn effort to put a good foot forward to someone. If you arent getting any replies you are OBVIOUSLY not taking the time to make the first communication good enough to elicit a reply. ( again not anyones fault but your own)

I'm also pretty sure that atleast some of the women here have done the same as I and when we get an e-mail check the profiles and if we think ok well the first e-mail wasnt so good but maybe this fella isnt so bad, we reply just to see or atleast offer a bit of advise that he may try adding a bit to his mails or try a different approach so that the next person isnt thinking wow that was a wasted attempt at contacting me...

<end rant>

_____________________________

ooooo..I bet THATS gonna leave a mark!!!!

Equal opportunity pisser on-er ... heh..

Gimme some crayons, I want color and I want it now DAMNIT!

(in reply to naughtynick)

Post #: 87

RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/27/2006 3:42:39 AM

naughtynick

Posts: 207
Joined: 1/20/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul

quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick
I come here for a browse these days, I dont bother approaching women no more. They get enough attention as it is. As for a male, he is lucky to get attention. I dont have to demand sex or cyber in an email, I dont have to be sleazy at all and I still get ignored. I find cyber pointless and boring. I also find it pointless telling women what I am into because most of them dont give a shit, they have enough guys as it is chasing after them so they will move on to the guy with the most suitable interest. It's all about whats in it for them. Women have a wide choice of who to play with, a guys choice is very limited.

Women ignore men on here for the fun of it because simply they have it all. Lets face it, a woman can influence a man for a play in one day. The first day she joins this site she can get lucky on that night. As for a guy hahahaha, well stiff shit, chances are 98 percent of women we contact, we either get ignored or get a "sorry reply" (which I dont mind).

But I guess I will be seen as a whiner now just for making a point about how hard it is for males. Try putting the shoe on the other foot.

Kinda bitter and cynical dont ya think? A few points though...

1.) no we dont want to know your kinks on the first e-mail, it might be nice to oh lets see get an e-mail about what interested you about OUR profiles and OUR interests, not what you need to get off. After maybe trying to discuss what we may have in common then it would be an appropriate time to expand on interests.

2.) We hardly "have it all"..unless of course we have it all meaning.. all of the cum happy trolls that want US to provide them with wanking material reguardless of who we are or what we feel, or would it be we have all of the responsibility to make sure that every moron that mails us gets what he wants... pfft I'm glad someone thinks we have the time to do that and the actual desire to see you get what you want... pfffft.

I dont know about you but I'm pretty sure that everyone is here to get what they want , not to see that someone else has something.

For that matter too... I have just about as many unanswered mails as the next person so believe me, you arent the only one that doesnt get replies sometimes. ( but happily enough the ones I really was hoping for a reply from I got pretty much asap.... yay! heh.)

I also dont get into the whole "men have it rougher" thing either. Men have just as much of an option to sit and actually read a profile and to form a unique e-mail as women do yet it is by CHOICE that they send form letters and stupid letters, that is NOT OUR fault. If you want a decent reply then make the damn effort to put a good foot forward to someone. If you arent getting any replies you are OBVIOUSLY not taking the time to make the first communication good enough to elicit a reply. ( again not anyones fault but your own)

I'm also pretty sure that atleast some of the women here have done the same as I and when we get an e-mail check the profiles and if we think ok well the first e-mail wasnt so good but maybe this fella isnt so bad, we reply just to see or atleast offer a bit of advise that he may try adding a bit to his mails or try a different approach so that the next person isnt thinking wow that was a wasted attempt at contacting me...

<end rant>

There's a lot I would like to say about this but it would probably take me the next hour to do so. I will try to make this as short as I can. Everyone has their different view on BDSM. This is mine. To start this off, this is what was said...

"No we dont want to know your kinks in the first email, it might be nice to oh lets see, get an email about what interest you about OUR profiles and OUR interest not what you need to get off"

Wrong, I think it's important for the Domme to know about the subs kinks in the first email or early in contact. I dont mean it to be said in a sleazy way but in a clear and respectable manner. If the Domme is totally not interested in the subs main interest or the sub is totally not interested in the Dommes main interest, there is no point. It saves your time and the subs time instead of finding out later down the track. It's also important for the sub to know what the Domme wants of course. Its 50/50. No side deserves to be heard more than the other in the first email.

You see its not all about you just because you are the Domme or just because you have a pussy between your legs. In that message you make out that the sub is only supposed to talk about what you want and only show interest in what you want without expressing what he wants. You dont think the subs needs is important but you expect the sub to think your needs are important or he is selfish. Thats a lame double standard.

I believe in give and take. Of course the Domme is the boss and she makes the rules, but the sub has to get his needs fulfilled also or there is no bloody point. Its like me applying for a job and not expecting to get paid for it. But I also think that the sub needs to do more giving to the Domme than the Domme gives to the sub. I can give, give, give 10 times in a row without getting what I really desire the most in return. But in the end I want my needs fulfilled also. But only when the Domme chooses to do so. Its not all about the Domme. If you think it is, you are a "do me" Domme. As Dommes describe subs who only express what they want. We have a mind to you know.

Another thing that shits me off. Just because this person is a male and he has a dick between his legs, it automatically means he is a sleaze. When ever a man talks about what he likes in BDSM or sex in general, he is accused of having a toss while expressing it. A perfect example of this happened to me today. In my MSN I was talking to a Domme, she openly told me what she likes. When I told her what I like, she asked me if I was getting my rocks off while I was telling her. Thats such a rude thing to ask. How would a woman feel if I said, are you only dating me for my money?

In most women's views, just because I am a male with a dick between my legs it automatically means I am tossing myself when I talk about sex. It's so negative to think this way upon a whole gender. In other words, males are not allowed to express what they want either if they are the dom or sub. If they do it means they are being sleazy and they are tossing them selves. But when its a woman talking about her needs, its a different story.

A lot of dommes here seem to expect this magic sub to pop out of the clouds and only be interested in what they want and their needs without having a mind of their own and having a concern about HIS needs. Subs do this to Dommes to, but Dommes are just as guilty. I think there are more "do me" Dommes than there is Dommes who are fair and think of the sub instead of themselves all the time.

The women here get so many offers but they still remain on this site for months or years and wonder why. A lot just need to understand that just because a male talks about what he wants, it doesnt mean he is a sleaze or he is tossing him self while doing so. Some do but others dont. Women need to listen to men more instead of expecting the men to hear all about what they want but block out what a man wants. It's extremely bigoted.

All in all I understand women's points in here. There must be a lot of annoying males that just want to get off by emailing you or talking to you and that stinks. But in a mans shoes we are put in that category no matter what. All you have to do is say you are a male and thats it, it means you are not allowed to express what you want or you are a tosser/sleaze if you do. I still get ignored when I email women when I dont say anything wrong or pushy at all. Most of my email is about my self and asking questions about her. Of course its important to talk about my needs and limits and so on. But I do it in a clear manner and not in a sleazy manner. There is a difference between discussing and cybering.

Even a average looking male that is not pushy or demanding about what they want is still not good enough for most women in here, even the below average looking women. The egos and expectations are at a all time high with women. I really dont understand. I make it as simple for women as I can and I still dont get luck 99 percent of the time. Except I only have one woman who Dommes me and she said I am special because I treat her like a human being and not like a sex object.

We have fun in other ways and not just BDSM. On MSN we hardly talk about BDSM, we just have a normal conversation and laugh. If a woman only wanted to talk about BDSM with me or cyber, I would get bored with her extremely fast. If other women gave me a chance past my email and profile, they would see what this certain women can see in me. She is only a friend with benefits and thats what I seek. I expect to share other types of fun and connect to the person in other ways besides BDSM. I want a friend, not only a Mistress.

Some women seek this and others dont. I only approach the women who seek this but most of the time its still not good enough for them. I lower my own standards and most men do while women increase their standards because they have more offers than men.

You wont find Elvis or Fabio in here. My advice to women is stop expecting so bloody much. That's why this site always has the same old people for months or years because a lot of women are expecting someone who does not exist in collarme.com

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)

Post #: 88

RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/27/2006 4:38:05 AM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

Nick,I can understand the frustration felt by males feeling they are all being lumped into one group, us females don't all want to be thought of as money grabbers but read a tribute post and thats how it can feel at times, a few said it and I will reiterate that the awful mails just make the good ones stand out.

For me a relationship works best when there is a connection so I like to get to know the person as a whole not just their submissive needs/wants. Whilst I agree that if someone has a particular fetish, want or need it is important to find someone with similar tastes if I am hit with this straight off I can find it off putting as it can seem as that is more important than whether we get on as people.

I, like you, believe in friendship between me and a sub so I prefer to see if this can exist first, if more happens great but if not at least I have another friend.

I think posts like this can be a few things... an outlet through humour of frustration, a venting of frustration, give a feeling of not being alone and they can be educational. It all depends what an individual reading it takes from it. I try to take something positive even from what I perceive to be a negative post, your positive might be that we are all "do mes" instead of Dommes and at least you know now, for others it might be that hey some Dommes are human.

To your last point on some of us being here for months even years, I've been on the site for well over a year and it hasn't felt like failure to me, I enjoy the boards and I have made some good friends on the site as well as having met some very nice male subs.

It is said that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince, maybe frogs have to kiss a lot of women to find the one who can bring out the prince.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to naughtynick)

Post #: 89

RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/27/2006 5:19:10 AM

sanjeev2006

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline

do mistresses want to pee in her slaves mouth

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 90

RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/27/2006 5:00:06 PM

maidentouse

Posts: 13
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

i know that women are always in control and hold the power in any relationship, and never question it and seeks to serve a verbally humiliating Mistress.

(in reply to sanjeev2006)

Post #: 91

RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/27/2006 6:14:06 PM

LTRsubNW

Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline

(GAWWWWWWD is this still going on?)

(in reply to DivaDuchess)

Post #: 92

RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/27/2006 6:36:20 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

I got a FABULOUS e-mail last night. It was from a young man, barely inside our preferred age range, who made multiple statements that let me know that he had actually read the profile *gasp of shock* and was perfectly honest with us. It ended with the equivalent of: "I'd love to chat, but it's been a very long day. Hopefully we can talk tomorrow when I'm more awake"

It was a lovely (albeit short) e-mail that showed some thought, and was honest with us about why it was short and didn't have more thought behind it. THAT is the kind of e-mail that we prefer to get. No scene descriptions/suggestions, no unasked for personal details (phone numbers, e-mails, IM names, etc), nothing inappropriate. Yes, knowing what kinks a person is into is important - but that's what those check lists are for... fill them out, and it shows that a- you aren't going to try and force your kinks onto others (which is what it feels like when the initial e-mail is all what the boy wants), and b- you are willing to spend some time to make your prospective Domme's job a bit easier - she can go look at that list and know what you are into (at least, the basics).

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

Post #: 93

RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/27/2006 7:36:34 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Personally, I dont lump anyone anywhere. This thread is not about us whining about getting too much attention. It is sharing funny emails and the things we have ALL heard with one another. every domme on this site has heard these stupid lines at least once, usually more. We arent whining about the attention, we are complaining about the lack of forethought. Why waste your time, or ours, when you cant make a descent message?
If someone puts thought, and effort into a message to me, I respond to it. No matter what, if it is thought out and worded well, it will get at least an answer. Anythig that sounds like someone looking for wank material will usualy get a "no, thanks"
I enjoy the attention I used to get. Now, I just am mystified by the lack of attention people pay to my profile. And I dont mean just males, or just subs. I ahve had Dommes and sub fems contact em as well, with the same strange emails and lack of interest. I am sure Doms on here have some similiar stories.
Its not men, its trolls. We complain about the trolls.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 94

RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/27/2006 9:00:25 PM

DivaDuchess

Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

SweetDommes - We had one of those as well. Very well worded and thoughtful. She actually read Our profile and didn't run screaming in the other direction. She asked for Our webpage address and went there as well and sent Us *shock* another email. I'm a firm believer in getting to know a slave first. I don't want to hear a scene description or a kink you prefer, I'd like to hear what you had for breakfast perhaps or your favorite blade of grass. Then ... we can perhaps chat off Collarme as the chat program here is a little ... interesting.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 95

RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/27/2006 10:02:03 PM

WifeBoyWannabee

Posts: 12
Joined: 7/3/2006
Status: offline

I work in sales and have a two call rule for prospective buyers....no answer after two calls move on and look for a new buyer......that can work here.....

(in reply to MissTlTTYMilk)

Post #: 96

RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/27/2006 10:33:15 PM

formenteralady

Posts: 76
Joined: 8/4/2006
Status: offline

naughtynick
Wrong, I think it's important for the Domme to know about the subs kinks in the first email or early in contact.
Isn't that on your profile? So wouldn't you assume that when getting an e-mail that most Dommes check your profile so they know who they are talking to and what they are intrested in? But no, it's not unreasonable to expect to eventualy talk about what you're both intrested in, however constant e-mails saying "I WANT TO BE YOUR ASS LICKING TOILET NURSE MAID NASTY BOY, MAKE ME THAT NOW OR I WON'T PEE EVER AGAIN" gets damn old, damn fast.

You see its not all about you just because you are the Domme or just because you have a pussy between your legs.
And it's not all about you, because you have a Cock and some hairy nads between your legs! Really, do you think we are that dumb? It's about relationships, and any Domme here is going to know that for long term healthy play for both partners is going to involve admitting the fraglity, and mental distresses involved in being human for both partners, now alot of subs AND Dommes have dillisions about this, but reality will put them in check at some point. At least someone isn't expecting you to be the mind reader super Domme who knows exactly what they want, when they want it, and ignores what the Domme really wants for a whiney bottom boy.

Its not all about the Domme. If you think it is, you are a "do me" Domme. As Dommes describe subs who only express what they want. We have a mind to you know.
Just because this person is a male and he has a dick between his legs, it automatically means he is a sleaze.
Allot of it is about the Domme, and about surrendering control to her, that's the D/s part of of BDSM, now some people don't like the D/s part as much as they like the Bondage part, or the Sadism/Massocism part, I'm thinking you're more in this for one or the other, i can tell you from experince thier are TONS of me out thier who want a woman to act like her pussy is made of soild gold and angels dream of her returnign to heaven to be with them, I personaly don't get off so much on this, but some people do, and if they do, who am I to judge? You need to learn to accept that this is not the senario for you, and move on.

In most women's views, just because I am a male with a dick between my legs it automatically means I am tossing myself when I talk about sex.
No, I don't think that, now some men are, some women are. this falls into that stupid sterio type area where all women are hot and ready for thier man constantly, really stupid.

A lot of dommes here seem to expect this magic sub to pop out of the clouds and only be interested in what they want and their needs without having a mind of their own and having a concern about HIS needs.
And alot of subs expect the magical Dom/me from heaven who reads thier minds, makes ass loads of money, and has a full dugeon. Reality sucks dosen't it? Matter of fact so do most people. It sounds to me like you're upset by this a little to much.
Women need to listen to men more instead of expecting the men to hear all about what they want but block out what a man wants. It's extremely bigoted.
I don't think anyone here is unwilling ot listen to the slaves, just sateing we don't want to here about someone's gross scat fetish when we don't even know them, and that we don't want e-mails from people that only say "hi" or "can i bet your toilet duck?". These are either trolls, people looking for cheep masterbatory material, and/or crazies. So why should anyone here waste thier time with lazy people who don't mean what they say? Would you waste your time with Dommes who message you saying "Get down on your knees, are you prepared to *insert something vulgar reguarding poo* " or just "hi"?

All you have to do is say you are a male and thats it, it means you are not allowed to express what you want or you are a tosser/sleaze if you do.
Bullshit. I've had polite and nice conversations with males on this site, even about sex/BDSM. Ususaly they got my attention by orgionaly sending me a message that was cleaver, a question reguarding my profile/stateing something they liked about it, or saying they enjoyed a post I made here. I think you've had someone call you out for being a 'perverted male' and are takeing your angst over the situation out on us. We did not cause your baggage, maybe you should check it when you come and talk to us, and by US i mean EVERYONE ON THE SITE.

Even a average looking male that is not pushy or demanding about what they want is still not good enough for most women in here, even the below average looking women. The egos and expectations are at a all time high with women. I really dont understand.
You certinaly ARE pushy AND demanding, so I'm assumeing you are talking about someone else. Persionaly men who ARE pushy and demanding turn me off, I don't want to play with them because they annoy the ever living fuck out of me, now should I have to play with people who annoy the ever living fuck out of me? No, I don't think I should.
And if you think women have bad egos, go talk to a "fabio" or good looking guy, ususaly you can't get in the room for thie hears, and alot of times they won't even nicely talk to a woman who's over weight/not conventionaly attractive. I even have some very good Vanilla friends who are male that are not the best looking guys to ever grace the planet earth, that will not happly date any woman who is NOT a super model. This is part of the double standard of being a human being dealing with other humans beings in a romantic way, if you dont' like it I'd suggest perfecting some kind of manned space flight and praying you have the luck to find a civilisation of simlarly carbon based creatures that are some how condusive to your ideal.

If other women gave me a chance past my email and profile, they would see what this certain women can see in me. She is only a friend with benefits and thats what I seek.
I think we have the real problem here, you don't feel like women are giving YOU enough of a chance, that's ok, mayb eyou can read through this and not just see people out to get YOU (because darling, we're not) and find some pointers on how to get positive attention. Look at goodboybenji's profile for example, sweet guy, I'd give him a shot if I lived near him, and I'm not really looking for men.
As for the friends with benefits, do you think you're really flattering someone with that? "Oh, well don't worry, i ONLY want a real life fuck buddy, nothing serious." You're not goign to find allot of women Domme or otherwise who want that, you're in one of the weird boats with polly people, and people who live in painfully rural locations, and these weird boats dont' sail as far or as fast as the conventional "commited long term monogomous relationship" boats. Deal.

Some women seek this and others dont. I only approach the women who seek this but most of the time its still not good enough for them. I lower my own standards and most men do while women increase their standards because they have more offers than men.
Once agian bullshit. I've known plenty of people who lower thier standtards to get what comes along and is convenient, and you know what that gets each and every one of them, almost every fucking time, unhappyness. Lowering your standards means you take what you don't want, hopeing you'll be happy with it, or somehow it will magicly be what you dont' want. Well guess what? It's never goign to stop being what you don't want.

You wont find Elvis or Fabio in here. My advice to women is stop expecting so bloody much.
Ditto.
And while I'm at this I'd like to add that you seem to have this bizzar idea that women in general have it easy because we are gifted with a vagina? Are you for some reason unfamalir with the fact that haveing the magical golden vagina makes it to where the bulk of the population thinks you are incapable in alot of ways compared to men? Did you miss out on thousands of years of sterotypes and general crap associated with women just because of sex? Do you think being a Domme makes that magicly go away in our day to day lives, or that the recent feminist ideals have magicly change it. Nope. I know it's hard being a man too, matter of fact it's damn hard being alive. No one has it wonderfully happy great just because of thier condtions of birth. Perhaps museing on this will help you be less of a bitter brat.

(in reply to naughtynick)

Post #: 97

RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/28/2006 7:10:45 AM

Reflectivesoul

Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

nick said:
You see its not all about you just because you are the Domme or just because you have a pussy between your legs. In that message you make out that the sub is only supposed to talk about what you want and only show interest in what you want without expressing what he wants. You dont think the subs needs is important but you expect the sub to think your needs are important or he is selfish. Thats a lame double standard.

ok wow, I missed a lot yesterday.. sheesh...

For someone who says a whole lot about everything, nick you dont do your homework. How do I know? Because if you even took 5 minutes to read my profile, god forbid check my forum posts, or even holy shit talk to me you would know right off the bat that your whole sweeping generalizations about how *I* dont give ashit about submissives is WAY off base. *I* have made it a point to go out of *MY* way to help submissives, offer advise where I can, get to know them as a human being because there is a whole hell of a lot more about someone that I am interested in than knowing about their BDSM interests. Sorry that just doesnt seem to equate in your mind, because you're too busy trying to make sure that you get your way oh and whining that because you have a penis you're neglected.

You know why I didnt have time to post to this yesterday? ( not that it fucking matters or is any of your business really) but I was off tending to a boy that I care very much for. No this boy's interests didnt mesh well with my own at first. There are a lot of things he is into that I just didnt really see myself as being comfortable with. Upon finding that I do care about this boy for who he is, ya know what I did, sought out every single person I could find and think of with experience in the things that *HE* likes and asked them for hints, ideas, and in general help so that it could be something *I* could learn. Oh yeah and I also spent hours checking different flight plans, hotel rates, and such because *I* was going to go to him.

The reason I say was .... is because after months of talking to this boy and hearing about how he liked big girls and felt safe and protected with them, months of me encouraging him on his own paths of discovery, months of me going out of *MY* way to be around when he needed to talk or just needed company... I get told basically that he's no longer interested because he thinks 170lbs is fat on a woman and he doesnt like BBW's. I have NEVER hidden the fact that I'm not a super model. He knew this from day one. But ya know, he sure did have fun with all of the wanking ideas he got from me and he sure did have fun using me to get his jollies off. I'm sure it must have been fun too knowing here *I* was doing things for him and trying to make myself better ( as far as learning his likes andhow to meet his needs) while he knew damn well he didnt mean a thing he said to me.

So before you go talking shit about *ME* personally, do your fucking homework. Dont believe me about yesterday? Ask DV, she so kindly spent quite a bit of time with me yesterday discussing all of this and reading his messages.
You need not even bother replying, I could give a shit at this point what you say, think or anything else, but I'll be damned if some lil whining cry baby that complains about him having a penis and no one wants him ... ( but oh yeah all he wants is a friend with benefits) is going to sit here and try to say that *I* dont care about anyone but myself. You are no better in my eyes than the boy I have afore mentioned at this point. Dont like it... sorry about your bad luck cause *I* really dont give a rats ass.

< Message edited by Reflectivesoul -- 8/28/2006 7:12:45 AM >

_____________________________

ooooo..I bet THATS gonna leave a mark!!!!

Equal opportunity pisser on-er ... heh..

Gimme some crayons, I want color and I want it now DAMNIT!

(in reply to naughtynick)

Post #: 98

RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/28/2006 7:39:57 AM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

Best to preserve a sense of humor and always work on and believe in what you have to offer someone. After a while, good things happen.

Also, please remember that the joy of being male here is that you control who writes to you. The correspondence you receive is almost always solicited. That's a great advantage in many ways, and unlike many of the females here, I've never had a negative PM exerience; pretty much all of my correspondences have been rewarding.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 8/28/2006 7:45:38 AM >

(in reply to naughtynick)

Post #: 99

RE: No Mistress does NOT want... - 8/28/2006 7:59:47 AM

barbiealto

Posts: 39
Joined: 12/7/2005
From: Norfolk UK
Status: offline

All of the above plus
* one liners saying ' It would be an honour to serve YOU ' ( why would it and how many others did you send that to?)
* one liners saying ' has anyone told you you are beautiful?' of course they have!!! its a standard sub line trying to impress a Domme!!
* ( this one has been said before ) telling me they will be my toilet slave ....... NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!

edited to say ....I only read the first page which I found amiusing I now find the topic has changed somewhat and if I knew ow to delete I would

< Message edited by barbiealto -- 8/28/2006 8:05:28 AM >

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 100

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