A Good Dom...

A Good Dom... (Full Version)

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losttreasure -> A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 6:18:02 PM)
As so many favor the "Good Wife" article (even if a bit unpractical for 2007), I wondered if something complimentary could be compiled for the "Good Dom". [;)] Here's my attempt... Be ready to have dinner when you get home. Arrive home with a healthy appetite by trying to avoid having a late lunch, skip the extra helpings, and pass on any afternoon snack. Help her plan ahead; share with her what your favorite meals are and let her know if there’s something special you’d like. Take care to show appreciation for extra effort she makes to welcome you home in the manner you most like. Prepare yourself. Take a few moments before you arrive home to take a deep breath and release the stress from your work day. Remember that as Lord of your castle, arriving home in a peaceful frame of mind will set the tone for everyone in your realm. Accept your greeting with a warm smile and show sincere pleasure to be home. You work hard all day and have earned the right to bask in comfortable surroundings and a peaceful environment. Showing appreciation to her for being caretaker of your domain instills a pride in her that will ensure maintenance to the standards you expect. Smile and be gracious when she tries to engage you in conversation. Patiently sharing some of your day with her reinforces your position as the central figure of the household while reassuring her of her place within your world. It also gives her insight so that she may anticipate your future needs. Set aside time for her to share her day with you and to discuss any issues that she may need to bring to your attention. You may not wish to hear of complaints and problems when you first arrive home, but establishing a routine will assure her that there will be an appropriate time later and encourage her to focus on tending to your needs without distraction. Show genuine interest and appropriate concern when she does discuss her day or bring issues to you. As she belongs to you, her thoughts, feelings and concerns belong to you, as well, and should be accorded the same attention as do your own. Be reliable and dependable. Try to remember to let her know if you will be home late or if there is some change in your plans that will affect your routine. Doing so will maintain trust and allow her to take steps to ensure the smooth operation of your home. Your courteous actions set the standard of behavior for those under your control. Be gracious in accepting her attempts to make you comfortable, and benevolent when you feel the need to decline. Remember to care for her needs as she sees to yours. A generous spirit will allow you to reap the benefit of her steadfast loyalty. Remember, you are the master of the house and as such, you always need to exercise your will with consistent fairness and truthfulness. She may not have the right to ask you questions about your actions, or to question your judgment or integrity, but she needs to have a firm foundation of trust in your abilities. A good dom always knows his place.

mnottertail -> RE: A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 6:28:22 PM)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, how stressful. Ron

losttreasure -> RE: A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 6:31:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, how stressful. Ron It's not easy being a dom... but it's good to be king, eh? [;)]

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 6:31:35 PM)
[sm=applause.gif] I give it two big thumbs up treasure!

losttreasure -> RE: A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 6:37:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel [sm=applause.gif] I give it two big thumbs up treasure! Thank you. But I suspect you won't see a lot of doms going, "Oooohhh... that's how I've always seen things and what I've always wanted to be like." [:D]

mnottertail -> RE: A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 6:51:06 PM)
well, before I come off the asshole, for no reason, I will give reason.... look, if i come home and dont want to talk, it is not NOT COMMUNICATING, it is communicating saying I dont want to talk. If your life is dinner must be served at 5 sharp, get a mule........ There is very little in life that is Jesus Fucking Christ this must be resolved this minute, if there is somebody in the immediate household must be in danger of dying, if l expect a call that my mother is dead, dont interrupt a blow job to answer the phone, if there is a miracle cure, I will buzz her later, if she is given to the ages, there is no traffick in changing the stasus quo. The thing for a sub or slave is will you anticipate, or meld with my needs and desires of the moment, must it be a rigid thing? SlinkyDom

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 7:24:04 PM)
But Ron, honey pie, sugar dumplin', schnooky boo boo.... How often do we hear the doms saying it's all about the attitude? Yes, I know.... we sub/slaves are supposed to just smile and wave [sm=hello.gif], smile and wave [image]http://www.collarchat.com/upfiles/smiley/hello.gif[/image], but a lil' appreciation from our counterparts now and again is nice too. (not speaking for every sub/slave! I'm not THAT naive!)

mnottertail -> RE: A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 7:29:57 PM)
So, you been reading up on pumpkin pie all week, oh, Ima gonna cook it, after a month of saying I want pumpkin pie oh, I come home you been gwoin (BR right?) surprise me with a punkin pie for lo these many months................ Oh. didnt work out, I want a blow job, catch the pie later........now what? Thibideaux

KatyLied -> RE: A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 7:30:53 PM)
Disappointment. I opened this thread and thought it would have the secrets to finding a good Dom. [8D]

Aileen68 -> RE: A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 7:32:01 PM)
A good dom is hard to find and a hard dom is good to find?

domiguy -> RE: A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 7:35:49 PM)
clean the salad out of your stained red teeth.

Aileen68 -> RE: A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 7:37:29 PM)
stalker

mnottertail -> RE: A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 7:39:01 PM)
quote: Disappointment. I opened this thread and thought it would have the secrets to finding a good Dom. _____________________________ Don't let one cloud obliterate the whole sky. - Anais Nin (in reply to mnottertail) Profile Report \| Post #: 9 RE: A Good Dom... - 2/9/2007 9:32:01 PM New Messages Aileen68 Deranged click here to view this users full profile Posts: 3743 Joined: 8/2/2005 From: Still in Jersey Status: offline A good dom is hard to find and a hard dom is good to find? _____________________________ You can't have monkeys in the house. Exposures quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 A good dom is hard to find and a hard dom is good to find? How opportune: I thought love was only true in fairy tales Meant for someone else but not for me. Love was out to get me That's the way it seemed. Disappointment haunted all my dreams. Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer Not a trace of doubt in my mind. I'm in love, I'm a believer! I couldn't leave her if I tried. I thought love was more or less a given thing, Seems the more I gave the less I got. What's the use in tryin'? All you get is pain. When I needed sunshine I got rain. Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer Not a trace of doubt in my mind. I'm in love, I'm a believer! I couldn't leave her if I tried--- Joe Pachel-- You fuckin' monkeys!!!!!!

FLFunTop -> RE: A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 7:49:54 PM)
Personally I think that you have hit the nail on the head, so to speak, as to why most d/s relationships have a failure. The sub/slave needs a venue in which to communicate. Dom/Master needs as a "Manager" had to appreciate and respect the effort that the slave produces. The sub will see the stress but wanting not know without direction how to help the Master. The "Master" will not communicate and not set up expectations for the slave to perform. Plain and simple this is neglect. Many people over extend themselves Top and bottom. But I think that this is a key issue in most relationship kink and non kink

losttreasure -> RE: A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 7:58:25 PM)
Okay... since you deigned to give a serious reason, I'll bite. [;)] This was written on the presumption that the "wife" described in the other thread would be considered desirable. Hence the "complimentary" thing. You know, good wife... as in "yes, I like". Ergo, were the desired sub like the "good wife" - the dom described here would be a suitable match for her. Obviously, you're feel you aren't. That's okay. You might not be one to want a "good wife" sub. However, please note that nowhere in the above is there the requirement for rigidity. It is merely a call for consistency and courtesy. If as a dominant you require flexibility, I see nothing that would prevent you from being consistent or courteous in that requirement. There is no insistence that you talk at the time that she wants to... merely an encouragement that you be gracious when she requests it. Hopefully, you've allowed her to know you well enough that she will understand when you simply don't feel like talking. The point is, that it's wise for you to make time to talk. Otherwise, there is no communication and quite frankly, not much point to the relationship. As far as expecting that "the thing for a sub or slave" is that they will anticipate, or meld with your needs and desires of the moment... the answer is no, it does not need to be rigid. I do not disagree with your idea that a submissive should anticipate and meld with the immediate needs and desires of a dominant, however, allow me to be controversial... see my sig line? Just because it isn't "all about me", doesn't make it "all about you". Of course, the following is merely my interpretation and I'm in no way saying this is how it should be for everyone. But you see... I view D/s as a relationship. A relationship of whatever kind you like; it's still two people relating to one another. However, despite the dominant having control and the submissive relinquishing control, they are both still equal partners in the relationship. That doesn't mean the control in the relationship is equal, it means that the dom is one of two (assuming a monogamous arrangement) and the submissive is one of two... they are each one-half of the relationship. And as you can't have fractions of a viable human being, there can be no other equation. As humans, both dominant and submissive have needs... and as equal partners in the relationship, both have the right to have those needs fulfilled within the relationship. Now a submissive may give up control of her rights to her dominant, but she still has them and it becomes the dominant's responsibility to protect those rights. He might decide when and how those needs of hers are fulfilled, but if he ignores them he will most likely soon find himself without a submissive. While the relationship may not be all about her, that doesn't automatically mean that it is all about him. It's not about one to the exclusion of the other... it's about both together. So... the submissive who anticipates and melds with the immediate needs and desires of her dominant is a good submissive, but the dominant who has consideration for his submissives needs is a great dom.

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 8:02:14 PM)
[sm=applause.gif]...I like it!...Now I am wondering what the Dominants may say?But whatever that may be I still like it!!!..lol....Tempting

losttreasure -> RE: A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 8:05:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied Disappointment. I opened this thread and thought it would have the secrets to finding a good Dom. [8D] I do hate to disappoint, Katy. I can share my secrets, but I'm not sure there are enough good doms to go around if everyone uses them. [;)]

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 8:06:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: losttreasure Okay... since you deigned to give a serious reason, I'll bite. [;)] This was written on the presumption that the "wife" described in the other thread would be considered desirable. Hence the "complimentary" thing. You know, good wife... as in "yes, I like". Ergo, were the desired sub like the "good wife" - the dom described here would be a suitable match for her. Obviously, you're feel you aren't. That's okay. You might not be one to want a "good wife" sub. However, please note that nowhere in the above is there the requirement for rigidity. It is merely a call for consistency and courtesy. If as a dominant you require flexibility, I see nothing that would prevent you from being consistent or courteous in that requirement. There is no insistence that you talk at the time that she wants to... merely an encouragement that you be gracious when she requests it. Hopefully, you've allowed her to know you well enough that she will understand when you simply don't feel like talking. The point is, that it's wise for you to make time to talk. Otherwise, there is no communication and quite frankly, not much point to the relationship. As far as expecting that "the thing for a sub or slave" is that they will anticipate, or meld with your needs and desires of the moment... the answer is no, it does not need to be rigid. I do not disagree with your idea that a submissive should anticipate and meld with the immediate needs and desires of a dominant, however, allow me to be controversial... see my sig line? Just because it isn't "all about me", doesn't make it "all about you". Of course, the following is merely my interpretation and I'm in no way saying this is how it should be for everyone. But you see... I view D/s as a relationship. A relationship of whatever kind you like; it's still two people relating to one another. However, despite the dominant having control and the submissive relinquishing control, they are both still equal partners in the relationship. That doesn't mean the control in the relationship is equal, it means that the dom is one of two (assuming a monogamous arrangement) and the submissive is one of two... they are each one-half of the relationship. And as you can't have fractions of a viable human being, there can be no other equation. As humans, both dominant and submissive have needs... and as equal partners in the relationship, both have the right to have those needs fulfilled within the relationship. Now a submissive may give up control of her rights to her dominant, but she still has them and it becomes the dominant's responsibility to protect those rights. He might decide when and how those needs of hers are fulfilled, but if he ignores them he will most likely soon find himself without a submissive. While the relationship may not be all about her, that doesn't automatically mean that it is all about him. It's not about one to the exclusion of the other... it's about both together. So... the submissive who anticipates and melds with the immediate needs and desires of her dominant is a good submissive, but the dominant who has consideration for his submissives needs is a great dom. OH WOW !!! treasure you blow me away! BRAVA!!!...dang! I wish I had your way with words!!...I have now ,for the first time ,saved this in my favorites......[:)]...Tempting

losttreasure -> RE: A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 8:07:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 A good dom is hard to find and a hard dom is good to find? Exactly! And if you're lucky, you find a good and hard dom. [:D]

losttreasure -> RE: A Good Dom... (2/9/2007 8:11:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FLFunTop Personally I think that you have hit the nail on the head, so to speak, as to why most d/s relationships have a failure. Because they have salad wedged in their red-stained teeth? (Your comment indicates it is in response to domiguy. [;)] ) But, I agree... it isn't just D/s relationships that face these issues.

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