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RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 7:08:11 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		By not taking the time to find out all of these "fun facts" about your husband must make you feel like an idiot....Finally do something that shows some intelligence and get the fuck out.

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(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 7:31:20 AM   
HellsMichelle


Posts: 63
Joined: 2/24/2006
From: HOUSTON TEXAS
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I think that it's important in the early stages of a relationship to find out your partner's feelings on something as important as racism. It would appear that this relationship has been moving rather quickly, according to your previous posts....and especially in light of some of the issues that you have shared. A post from only 6 months ago reveals that you were not living together at that time nor had any impending marriage plans....and only 6 short months later you are married 3 months. A post from only 5 months ago talks of serious issues with uncontrollable anger.


Reading the thread, I saw two different people talk about previous relationship issues you posted about with anger management issues. I think this is a point you might want to listen to. I have seen too many submissives [male and female] who confuse domineering with dominant. I went through that once. It took me finding the community to learn the difference. It also gave me a personal goal to avoid once I switched sides.

I don't know you, but you might want to look at your situation very long and from an outsiders perspective. Is this ranting and raving a normalacy in the overall relationship? do you like living in that environment? would you seriously want to breed with someone like that? why?

On the racism aspect...I am from the deep South...I was raised around that stupidity...I also know once it is embedded in a persons morality it is difficult to undo...short of him needing a transplant of a major organ where the only donor is of a different race and him having to accept their organ, your odds of changing him are basically nonexistant.

As for bloodline purity, it'd be delightful to have someone remind him that all bloodlines are tainted. When the Romans conquered most of ancient europe they bred with everything. The Visigoths [laterday Germans] once overthrew Rome, as did the Moors [who were black], which means his blood is already 'tainted'. Just a little lesson that I learned in college. It completely destroys the concept of bloodline purity.

Do yourself a big favor: DO NOT BREED WITH SOMEONE UNTIL YOU KNOW ALL THEIR DARK SECRETS. LOVE IS BLIND. LOGIC SHOULD BE WITHOUT EMOTION. CONTRACEPTION IS READILY AVAILABLE AND ACCIDENTS NEED NOT HAPPEN.

There are enough unhappy selfdestructive kids in the world in homes full of turbulance.

just my two cents. and you get what you pay for,

M

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(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 7:41:42 AM   
SassySue


Posts: 54
Joined: 2/12/2006
Status: offline 		OP,
As the adoptive mom of three biracial children I have been the recipient of racist comments and actions. Let me assure you, if it offends your sensibilities now it will tear you apart when they are taught hate and freely spread it in the world.  To accept this attitude, is to endorse it.

(in reply to HellsMichelle)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 7:47:35 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: damia

i apologize in advance to any who are offended by this post. i am in no way racist, and am appalled by this.

Hi. i am a married slave. i am 22, He is 40. i thought i knew everything about Him...until tonight, talking with Him and a friend about culture and society. He asserted that He is by no means racist, but uses racist slurs for people who are idiots (i.e., the n word for blacks, w.b. for Hispanics...if you don't know the actual slurs, ask me if you need to know, and i'll tell you. i do not like writing them, let alone saying them). To me, this is highly offensive, and i asked Him why He does not just call them all fucking idiots, like they are. He said 'because those terms are there for those races for a reason'. Then, He asserted that His children will not be allowed to date anyone not white, because if they get married and have children, it would 'water down the bloodline.' His bloodline is German, descended from nobility and royalty, and He says He has 'racial pride,' and will not allow his bloodline to be watered down.

When i tried to talk to Him about this, asking Him if He would prefer His children date a) a stupid boy who is rude, ignorant, and an asshole, and happens to be white, or b) a well-educated, polite, and 'nice' boy, who happens to be black...He said "Neither. There are perfectly good white boys out there, that He knows there're out there. A little later, He was yelling at me about racial pride and that i don't understand or respect His ancestry, which isn't the case...i finally got up, and went to do something else, because i couldn't sit there and listen to His racist ideals. We don't have children now, and now i am very unsure if i -ever- want kids with Him, because i'm afraid He will teach them to be racist, too.

Part of me wants to run for the hills and never look back...i hate racist people, and i have lost a lot of respect for Him because He is racist, and there is a part of me that hates Him very much for His ignorant racism. But the rest of me says 'No, you love this man; He is your Master and your husband, and whether you agree with Him or not, you belong to Him and should tolerate it.'  But the hatred of people just because of the colour of their skin or because of their genes...that is not something i tolerate, nor is it something i ever learned was to be tolerated.

What should i do? i feel like i've failed, because i have this hatred of this part of Him, when i should love all of Him, and because i can no longer respect Him fully...advice, please??



I am not aware of your previous posts.  I've learned about them as I was reading through this thread.  Setting an obvious question aside...what were you two talking about leading up to his mastery/your submission and your marriage...I am going to do as you ask and give some advice but, just like Raven'sMuse, I am sure there are people who are not going to like what I have to say.  Oh well.........~puts on the flame retardant suit~

Your profile says you live in Fayetteville, North Carolina.  I lived in that area for 4 years while working for Uncle Sam in the 82nd Airborne.  You know, when I was down there, there were an awful lot of black and brown and yellow people.  There was a sign outside of Fayetteville asking you to support your local chapter of the K.K.K..
I would think that somewhere in the past year, there had to be an opportunity for you to observe, if not ask, his actions and feelings towards and about these black and brown and yellow people.  I surely did with many of my fellow soldiers.  So, my question is this...did you not have this same opportunity in all your time with him?  Or did you think that he was "having a bad day" or he was "right about feeling that way about this particular person" or that it was just "his way of expressing himself"?  Or did you make the assumption that marriage to you would calm/quiet/change this behavior?  That's a mistaken assumption for anyone to make, let alone a submissive in regards to their dominant.

Let's say you did not.  Now...you have.  If it was just you, then you could stay and tacitly accept what he is showing himself to be....uncontrollably angry and racist...and either let his feelings begin to permeate you and change you or hope that your feelings change him (and as an aside, I agree with others who have said that it is doubtful that it will work the good way...call me a cynic who hates the song Kum-bay-a).  But it is not just you.  You are considering bringing children into this.  Surely you realize that, unless you stand up to him and defy him....making the household a truly joyful place to grow up in...your child will be exposed to his father's views as well as your own.  Which will he choose?  The ones that feel right to the inner workings that evolve from growing up in his home, going to his school, and all the things that contribute to molding what he is inside.  You can choose to remove at least one source of that toxicity.  Leave before you ever have a child with this man.  You say you do not believe in divorce except in extreme situations.  Open your eyes in the way that they do not appear to have been open before and look around you at what he does to others and what his actions and feelings are doing to you...this IS an extreme situation.

(in reply to damia)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 7:48:09 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		To the OP:

Maybe talk to him about this before you let everyone diagnose and dismiss him as a racist based on the fact that he has used racial slurs and wants his future kids to marry their own kind. 

Lots of people use racial slurs, and gender slurs and all kinds of slurs when they are refering to someone who they don't like.  This may be frowned upon, but in and of itself does not make a person a racist. 

And many people only marry their "own kind".   Just look around you to see how many people marry their own race, nationality and religion.  For ALOT of people its a criteria that they will not compromise on when searching for a life partner or spouse.  I personally would not enforce that upon my child, but it's not a characteristic that defines anyone as a racist.

I'm curious---Does he want to weed out or oppress a particular race?  Does he feel that some races should be killed off?  Does he show signs of hatred towards any particular race?  Does he violate or try to hurt other people of a particular race?  These are the questions I would be examining before jumping to the conclusion that he is a 'racist'.

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(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 7:59:53 AM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		Hello people! The OP is only 22....mistakes should be expected getting married that young. Often at that age knowing someone a year seems like forever, especially when the relationship is high intensity. I don't think you should feel like you have failed because you do not respect some of his core values you didn't know about. It's what you do now that you know that will determine your fate.

I was raised by nice people who were kind to everyone and taught me that we were all the same inside. Until i went to college and started dating a black man. At that point i was told if i married him they would stop talking to me and if we had kids they would walk by on the street like they didn't know us. Well, let's just say their earlier training won out for me and i stayed with the sweet, smart, college graduate from a nice middle class family with good values who happened to have dark skin, and thought my poor parents were just misguided. I moved out of their home and their control and eventually we got married. My family at that point "accepted" the situation, but not really. The tension and comments were still there, and i put up with it for a few years then I cut off communication with my family. It hurt, ALOT. But i couldn't let them hurt me anymore. It was heart wrenching going through a difficult pregnancy, and when my daughter was airlifted 2 hours away from me right after birth (which was 20 min from my family), i cried for my mommy that night. It just seemed so unfair.

But when things settled, i sent them a pic of their beautiful granddaughter and asked, what should i tell her about you? That you are dead, or alive and don't want to know her. That was all it took. Well that and my magical child. She has changed more opinions of friends, family and people in our community than you can imagine.  We live in redneck heaven, and i worried greatly about not only her development but also her safety even, but it just has not been an issue.

The only time we had a problem was my husbands best friends wedding. My hub was the best man and the matron of honor was forced by her husband to give up the position because she could not walk down the aisle with a black man. Their son was ring bearer and my daughter was flower girl and the son was forbidden to talk to my daughter. They were 7. My daughter had a great time at the wedding and just thought the dad was mean.

My point being, people revert to what they really beleive when confronted with the situation first hand. I think you know where his true feelings lie now. It WILL be an issue that comes up in the future whether you have children or not. You will continue to listen to his rants and slurs. And having children will be his choice more than yours if you are truely his slave. Consider that you entered into the contract fraudulently (both collar and marriage) and cut your losses. If you choose not to i think life will be continually harder as time goes on.

good luck

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(in reply to HellsMichelle)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 8:03:42 AM   
HellsMichelle


Posts: 63
Joined: 2/24/2006
From: HOUSTON TEXAS
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

Lots of people use racial slurs, and gender slurs and all kinds of slurs when they are refering to someone who they don't like.  This may be frowned upon, but in and of itself does not make a person a racist. 

Funny thing about this point. I am recalling what a wise woman once said to me about racially and gender biased jokes. If you laugh at them then at some level you agree with them. When there are so many words to substitute for racial or gender biased slurs, why lower yourself to such simplistic insults? Maybe they are NOT a racist -- but instead an uneducated fool?!?

And many people only marry their "own kind".   Just look around you to see how many people marry their own race, nationality and religion.  For ALOT of people its a criteria that they will not compromise on when searching for a life partner or spouse.  I personally would not enforce that upon my child, but it's not a characteristic that defines anyone as a racist.

I have dated outside and within my race. I do understand that there are cultural differences in upbringing in both situations. If the person in question outlaws the concept of marrying outside of their 'own kind' then they may not be able to handle those differences. I agree it does not necessarily make them a racist, but instead someone who can't handle anything unlike themselves. [Is there a term for that?]

I'm curious---Does he want to weed out or oppress a particular race?  Does he feel that some races should be killed off?  Does he show signs of hatred towards any particular race?  Does he violate or try to hurt other people of a particular race?  These are the questions I would be examining before jumping to the conclusion that he is a 'racist'.


She said he uses the words to describe people he doesn't even know in the original post. We have no clue to what level he takes it. But does it have to be this extreme to qualify? How far does it have to go for you to feel the person qualifies as a racist? Is there such a thing as "a little racist"? Or do they have to wear the white sheet and rally in the streets before you can call them a racist?
 
Just my two cents worth, and you get what you pay for~
 
M

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 8:14:44 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HellsMichelle

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

Lots of people use racial slurs, and gender slurs and all kinds of slurs when they are refering to someone who they don't like.  This may be frowned upon, but in and of itself does not make a person a racist. 

Funny thing about this point. I am recalling what a wise woman once said to me about racially and gender biased jokes. If you laugh at them then at some level you agree with them. When there are so many words to substitute for racial or gender biased slurs, why lower yourself to such simplistic insults? Maybe they are NOT a racist -- but instead an uneducated fool?!?

And many people only marry their "own kind".   Just look around you to see how many people marry their own race, nationality and religion.  For ALOT of people its a criteria that they will not compromise on when searching for a life partner or spouse.  I personally would not enforce that upon my child, but it's not a characteristic that defines anyone as a racist.

I have dated outside and within my race. I do understand that there are cultural differences in upbringing in both situations. If the person in question outlaws the concept of marrying outside of their 'own kind' then they may not be able to handle those differences. I agree it does not necessarily make them a racist, but instead someone who can't handle anything unlike themselves. [Is there a term for that?]

I'm curious---Does he want to weed out or oppress a particular race?  Does he feel that some races should be killed off?  Does he show signs of hatred towards any particular race?  Does he violate or try to hurt other people of a particular race?  These are the questions I would be examining before jumping to the conclusion that he is a 'racist'.


She said he uses the words to describe people he doesn't even know in the original post. We have no clue to what level he takes it. But does it have to be this extreme to qualify? How far does it have to go for you to feel the person qualifies as a racist? Is there such a thing as "a little racist"? Or do they have to wear the white sheet and rally in the streets before you can call them a racist?
 
Just my two cents worth, and you get what you pay for~
 
M


My particular idea of what defines 'racist' is actually quite obvious simply from the way my post was written.  However, my opinion is irrelevant.  I offered the OP some calm and reasonable food for thought before jumping to conclusions, over-reacting, or ending her marriage without first communicating with him further and examining different points of view.  I take no position on whether or not this man is a racist; I do not know him or know enough to make that assesment.



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(in reply to HellsMichelle)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 8:34:31 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		<fast Reply>

Lets face it, to find someone out there that is a true pure blood. He was born over 200 years ago. Blood lines have been watered down for years. Being of German, Cherokee, Irish blood, (mostly irish i'm told by family)... Our family history as southern white folks probably goes futher back to include blood from the black community. WHO THE HELL CARES... we all bleed red...(unless you're vulcan )

I have to agree with mist here.... and a few others... if your husband is a rascist. And you've known him a year, married 3 months. You've known for awhile that he was rascist and just ignored it . Because a true rascist isn't going to hide the way he thinks or feels.

And if you are offended by it... only you know what to do. No one on here is going tobe able to tell you to stay ... go.. nothing.  I personally wouldn't tolerate it, let alone bring my family up in house full of hate like that. Of any kind.

But bottom line is, you're looking for someone to give you an easy out. You want someone to tell you what to do. Or how to change him. He's not going to change from being an ignorant idiot no more than the people he hates are going to change for him either.

So you need to sit down.... look at yourself...and what you want out of life.  And make your own choices.

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 5/10/2007 8:35:17 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 8:36:06 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Ah.  That explains it.  Way back when I was 16 I married a man I barely knew.  Yep, I now consider anything under 2 yrs not knowing.  I didn't realise he grew up in a prejudiced household until the calls from the mother in law started happening in our first year of marriage. Apparently, anything which had my blood (hispanic and french) was not acceptable.  My first daughter, though she is blond and blue eyed, was dismissed as a wetback even though my family line has been in cali since before it belonged to the USA.  In total we were married for 7 yrs, and had 3 children.  It wasn't until they were grown I discovered that they never felt "as important" as their half brother from their dad's second (very wasp) wife.  Racism is like a poison.  It can kill you quickly or drip into the veins of your children until they are as full of racial hatred as their parent.  Or make you develop self loathing if you don't have that magical "pure" blood that is so valued.
In retrospect of my life, I know what I should have done.  I hope you think about what you would find acceptable for yourself, and any future children.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: damia

We knew each other almost a year before getting married. We have been married 3 months.



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(in reply to damia)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 8:36:43 AM   
slavegirl1969


Posts: 69
Joined: 9/26/2006
Status: offline 		Damia, hello.

His views should not just be an issue to be considered now but also for the future.  If, for example, you do have children who at some point grow up with a mind of their own (from about 2 I reckon) what happens if, despite his teachings of racism, one of his children falls in love with someone of a different nationality/colour etc. What would life be like.  That future starts now and could go on for a lot of your life.  That's a long time to be unhappy.  My father was extremely racist so imagine his reaction when he heard what his first grandson was going to be! For the 9 months of pregnancy he never even acknowledged there was one on the way.  It took a very, very long time for him to even look at the little one never mind hold him or be the grandfather he should have been. 

Think very carefully about the future, its not just yours you could be making that decision for.

I feel for you though.  This is a hard situation, given he is your husband and I am sure you do love him.

(in reply to damia)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 8:45:40 AM   
TigressFL


Posts: 239
Joined: 6/8/2006
Status: offline 		You have to decide if this is a deal breaker or not. When I am getting to know someone I really do not care if we like the same tv shows or not, or if we like the same type of music as both are workable. What I do care about is that we have the same or very close to the same value system including racial issues, Gay & Lesbian issues, sexism, etc. If they are a racist or would vote against Gay & Lesbian issues (like marriage) then we have an issue because I am an activist for human and civil rights. I want someone that can work with me to help support racial, sexuality and civil issues not add to my fight. I have had to cut friends out of my life for bashing ethnic groups or Gay & Lesbians so I would not want a mate that was that way.

Good Luck!

< Message edited by TigressFL -- 5/10/2007 8:46:48 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 8:57:51 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: damia
He asserted that His children will not be allowed to date anyone not white, because if they get married and have children, it would 'water down the bloodline.' His bloodline is German, descended from nobility and royalty, and He says He has 'racial pride,' and will not allow his bloodline to be watered down.


So I take it you are of a pure bloodline?

If he was so worried about his precious bloodline then I am sure he really dug into your pedigree prior to marriage.... this should have been a tip off... or is it that he does not intend to have children with you?

At any rate, I have to believe that this premise of being born of a pure bloodline of nobility is nothing more than pure bullshit.

I would seriously think of what bringing children into this marriage would mean for them if he assures you that he will raise them with this sentiment of racial pride.

Children are not born with hate & intolerance.. they are taught this.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 5/10/2007 8:59:07 AM >

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(in reply to damia)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 9:17:18 AM   
PONYSEEKER


Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		LOL welcome to my world baby...LOL

I have known my sub for the past 11 years which I am in the proccess of releasing.  Anywho... she is German, was born there and moved to America at age 5.  The quality that you are talking about (racism) appears to me to be a  part of the old German culture and is deeply embedded in them as a way of seperating themselves from all the crack... (yeah I said that on purpose) that reside in Europe.  This seperation of cultures and fight for cultural dominance of Europe is something the German people have a bit of a problem with.  You might say that if you open a history book of Germany you may find that if you were to judge them as a culture (which would be unfair of course) then you would probably not have anything to do with the people that reflect this if you were sensitive towards racism.  I dont entirely understand this mentality even though I am usually surounded by them but I have found a common beliefe that my subs family often feel that they are supperior to other races and this is a mentality that although watered down when they came to America they seem to allmost never be able to totaly asymulate the beliefe that its the behavior in people that count not the color of their skin, religeouse beliefs they (my subs family) dont seem to view people as individuals.  Everything you describe is just like my subs views.  Now, the thing about my sub is that she is a school teacher in southern Ca. Which means that in her entire school she is the only white person.  She expresses an equality when it comes to nearly everything with the exception of anything to do with personal matters or any kind of sex.  For instance, she once told me that she was at a high school and an Asian boy who she liked as a friend planted a kiss on her and she vomited all over the dance floor instantly.  This is how deeply this pure race bullshit goes. So I understand what your dom said and how he feels and although it is just a bunch of crap that this world could really be without his views probably will not change.
As far as your kids go,  they will have problems but they will not pick up his racism provided you live in a multicultural enviroment.  This is because children by nature are non judgemental and will play with any other child inspite of race, beliefs or diabilities and the differences in people will not be aparent to them and it will cause confusion for them. When they grow up they may be for instance outwardly racist around him but then may have a significant other that is of another race.  If they are forced to choose between lets say their father and a cute African American girl then they will choose the girl each and every time.  So you can expect really huge issues or lots of secrecy once they hit the teen years at least thats the way it was with my subs kids. I dont think my sub met one of her daughters boyfriends until she was about twenty yet my subs daughter allways went out to dinner with her boyfriends and father and as you could probably guess the father is not racist in any way.  In fact, her kids have pretty much abandoned her side of the family unless they need money.  So my guess is that one he wont change his ways and two he will end up a very lonly person because he will continually refuse to adapt to his suroundings and as he grows older will just look moor and moor like and idiot. Now understand that I am sure that non of this applys to every German who was born in Germany.  Like I said that would be wrong and unfair. However, the ones that I personaly know are like this and they have a "proud" bloodline.  When I am faced with there attitudes when they go on these family line tyrades I just say "then I guess none of it rubbed off on your immediate family because obviously they could not succeed in there own country."  Throwing the racism back at them is surprisingly easy and can have a really interesting effect but unless you want to be peeling your face of the wall or at least willing to go a few rounds I wouldnt suggest it.  But it is fun to do. 

(in reply to slavegirl1969)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 10:02:01 AM   
MissBabydoll


Posts: 62
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: themischievous1

Your husband sounds like he is embracing a white nationalist/white supremacist perspective. I see this as a serious problem for you in the future as it could color a lot of the day to day life you inhabit with him. I don't like to generalize as a rule but people who think like you've described he does are normally quite rigid and narrow minded; this kind of thinking extends to other ideals as well.

I think it's a given that he'll attempt to pass these beliefs onto your children. If you desire children you would have to live with this kind of ignorance being imposed on them or have incessant power struggles and argument over the topic. These beliefs are normally ingrained deep from childhood and are difficult to change, even if one desires to change them.

You also mention that he was yelling at you about racial pride etc. (sounds like ranting to me). I do hope you don't have an abusive personality on your hands, damia, but you certainly have a narrow minded bigot on them. You're in a fix for sure and I don't see this as having a happy ending unless you cave in and give up your own ethics and integrity. I don't see this as optional in any relationship in my life but you have your own choices to make.

I do agree with some of the others that having children doesn't seem like a wise move in the near future, at least certainly not until you get to know this man much much better. Racially prejudiced people that talk about keeping the bloodline pure are usually (for lack of a better phrase) "crazy," in my opinion. Please be careful, damia.


I want to strongly second all of this. I also want to throw in a few facts.

1. There are no "races." Genetically, you are at least as likely to have the same genome to several decimal places past 99% as a Chinese office worker, a Nigerian farmer, or a Mexican housewife, as you are to be genetically similar to your "white" husband. All evidence points to a common origin of all modern humans (homo sapiens sapiens) in Africa about 200,000 years ago. The variations in skin tone, average height and build, facial configuration that distinguish regional populations are evolutionary adaptations to climate and lifestyle. There is no scientific evidence whatever that any of these variations involve brain development or cognitive ability of any kind. "Race" in its modern sense is an ideological construct of eighteeenth- and nineteenth-century colonialism, which needed to represent the "mongoloid" and "negroid" and "aboriginal" peoples as inferior so that exploiting and enslaving them and looting their land could be justified. I repeat: it has no basis in scientific fact. I refer you to Stephen Jay Gould's excellent and definitive history and debunking of "scientific" racism, *The Mismeasure of Man*.

2. Racism is not just a prejudice. It is an entire global system of institutional domination derived from that colonial and imperial era. Because of it, ethnic groups defined as nonwhite (and let's remember that 180 or so years ago, the Irish in America were not white; that only a generation ago Jews like me were not white; and that even Southern and Eastern Europeans (Italians, Poles, Portuguese) have only been fully white since maybe the 1960s. Whiteness, in other words, is not a "race" or even an ethnicity but a dominance category. Its definition changes according to the needs of the European-descended ruling elites, and its main function in Europe, the US, and Latin America is to allow working- and middle-class European-descended people to identify vertically with those elites and so not challenge their dominance. The literature on this is vast. David Roediger, Paul Gilroy, Toni Morrison, Ronald Takagi, Howard Zinn, Lerone Bennett Jr, Peter Linebaugh, Franz Neumann, are a few authors I have found useful.

3. Racist ideology is therefore not only without any empirical basis but is also lethally toxic. The twentieth century's slaughters of civilians, of which the Nazi Shoah (which included "racially inferior" gypsies as well as Jews) was only the most famous and dreadful example, have almost all been justified by racist ideology of some kind. Some examples at random: Belgium: Congolese people made into slaves on rubber plantations and mutilated or massacred when they fell short of their quotas. The US: Jim Crow, lynchings and so-called race riots like the ones that killed thousands of black people between 1900 and 1940; the mass slaughters in the Philippines. Britain: the treatment of the Irish, the Indians, the peoples of Kenya, Rhodesia, etc. France: the Moroccan Rif, the Algerians, the peoples of French West Africa. Italy: poison gas on Ethiopia. Russia/the USSR: Chechnya and other Central Asian peoples. Germany: you know about that one. Some of my forebears were killed  in it, thanks to your hubby's "pure, white, aristocratic" grandfolks. So I'm afraid I can't view his beliefs as an unfortunate feature of an otherwise decent person. Men of his nation with his views conceived, justified, organized, and gleefully carried out the massacre of members of my family.

Daria, the moment anyone proclaims that they are of a "superior race," the white hoods are ready to be slipped on and the swastika begins to float on the breeze. I have every sympathy for you that you have come to love this man, but his views are, quite frankly, intolerable. To have children with him would be a disastrous mistake and will contribute actively to the perpetuation of ideas and structures that exist *solely* to justify oppression, exploitation, torture, and murder. This man is an accessory to appalling and continuing evil and he's proud of the fact.

Simply: get out now. Don't look back. I wish you well.



(in reply to themischievous1)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 11:24:09 AM   
littlecat599


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline 		i  thank all for the insight thus far. i will be going to stay at my mother's house this weekend, and He will not be coming (original reason was because He has 24 hour guard duty on Saturday), but i will be talking to Him about all of this this evening as soon as He gets off work and has time to relax from a long day of work. Then, i will tell Him that i am staying at my mother's until Sunday afternoon, and will be taking that time to evaluate the relationship. He has been married before...i have not had any wish to contact his ex-wife before, but this weekend i will be (yes, i will tell Him that i am; i don't hide things like that), and i will ask her about this, and about if and how it affected her. They have one daughter together, but she was born while He was on deployment to Korea, and she never sent Him pictures or told Him about her. And they divorced soon after that, and she moved back with family in Washington state, so He barely knows his daughter. i'm not going to pass judgement on that relationship, or on her, because i do not know her or their relationship, but i am going to speak to her, learn about it, and see if this is something recent (maybe caused by something?), or if He was like this before, too. i also know several of His friends who have known Him for many, many years, and several of them are my dear friends also now, and i will be seeking their advice and counsel as well.

i think the best way for me, is to seek the counsel and advice of people who have known Him for years, that (and i feel a bit jealous of it) have known Him for many, many more years than me, and can give me insight into whether this is something caused by an event, or if this is something caused by upraising.

i do not know yet what i will do...i do not want to leave Him, because i love Him and am happy with Him most of the time...but there are those times when He really hurts and upsets me. i have a past of verbal abuse, and He has triggered memories of that in His moments of rage...yes, He knew about my past of abuse, and i try to get Him to understand what it feels like...but that's another issue altogether..

Maybe i was just a stupid person, blinded by love, to marry someone that has this value that is so vastly different from mine, and who causes pain for me. Before i moved in with Him (before we were married, and for the first month of our marriage, because of a job commitment), He never showed such blind hatred for people of other bloodlines.

In fact, i pointed out to Him many times that i am Cajun French, and also have a smidgeon of English (1/8) and Italian (1/16) in me Yes, my family is descended from France, but that is -many- generations back. My French blood comes from -criminals- who were forced to move to the New World because no one wanted them in France. They moved to Canada, and many could not follow the laws of Canada (then part of Great Britain), and so they were kicked out of Canada, went down the Mississippi and found the only place they were accepted to be (because no one else wanted to live there)...the swamps of Louisiana. Yes, i am a 'coonass'. i am very proud of my heritage, of the Cajun culture...the Cajun people fought long and hard for what they have, and have come a long way from their criminal ancestors. Cajuns in general are known to be very family-oriented (because we have to stick together), friendly, and welcoming....to other people of their culture. If you were raised in Cajun country (which i, as a Navy brat, was not), most often you are racist and against anyone who is not Cajun. My grandmother is very racist, but she and i get along otherwise, and she has learned that if she wants me around (which because she and i get along better than she does with any of her children or other grandchildren, she -does- want me around), then she will not bring up racism, racist comments, racial slurs, or anything closed-minded, because anytime she does, i stand up, walk away, and don't come back for several days (even if i was supposed to be staying at her house visiting...i'd rather find a hotel to stay in then stay and support racism). So i have dealt with racism before...i do not support it, but i have dealt with it. i love my grandmother, but i do not tolerate her racism. If i were Mistress, and My husband the slave, He would be put outside to fend for Himself until He calmed down and stopped talking racist. i certainly wouldn't allow my pup to talk such or act in such a way. But He is my Lord, my Master, and my Husband, and He commands me, not the other way. i can't punish Him for His ways.

Thank you all again for your insight. i will be seriously thinking about this over the weekend, and discussing it with the people who know Him best.

edit: Oh, i forgot to say...the reason my Lord finds my bloodline 'acceptable' is because all of my ancestry for many generations back is European...that is His 'designating factor'...unless that person happens to be a black European, or an Asian person descended from people who migrated on the Silk Road, or something like that...or an Indian person who's family has been in England since India was first a British territory...a white European, rather, is the designating factor.

second edit: OOPS! A friend was using my computer, and left herself logged into Collarme! How do i delete a post, so i can re-write it under my account, because i don't want people thinking i am her...in case i can't delete it: this is damia, not 'littlecat599'!


< Message edited by littlecat599 -- 5/10/2007 11:29:37 AM >

(in reply to MissBabydoll)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 12:04:31 PM   
selfbnd411


Posts: 598
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline 		I love German racism.  Well, I love to remind those of "pure" German heritage that Germany was invaded and occupied for many years by the Mongols.  That's right...Most Germans are part Asian!  Horrors!

(in reply to littlecat599)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 12:10:46 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		The guy is a complete turd....It makes you his accomplice and of equal worth by being at his side....If you stay you are no better than he....Get away from him....I can't imagine what people think when he starts on one of his tirades...They must shoot a glance at you and wonder what in the fuck you are thinking, or how worthless you must be for being with someone who is obviously so fucking flawed.

_____________________________



(in reply to littlecat599)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 1:11:02 PM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		as far as I know you can't delete the post

as to signing onto your "friend's" account, come on... the information shows you to be pretty much the same person, even the icon of the original account has a cat

lots of us were born at night... not last night



_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to littlecat599)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Racist...warning, this may be highly offensive to s... - 5/10/2007 2:57:12 PM   
damia


Posts: 190
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

as far as I know you can't delete the post

as to signing onto your "friend's" account, come on... the information shows you to be pretty much the same person, even the icon of the original account has a cat

lots of us were born at night... not last night


Isn't this a bit unwarranted? What purpose do i have to use a brand-new, never posted account to talk about something that potentially could hurt me, yes, but i already used my main account, so why would i need to use a new account to reply to something asked of me? i didn't sign onto erica's account. She used my computer (she does not have a computer of her own, and i said she could use mine), and since she's interested in BDSM, i showed her collarme. she liked it, decided to create an account. she happens to be a cat person, like me (as in, she likes cats, not that she is a human Kat, as i am). Then when she got off, and i got on, i didn't realize she was still logged in, went to check this thread, and replied to questions. Edited it to add information, and then edited when i realized it was not my account. All within a five minute time frame...

Is it so unbelievable that i have a female friend who is 1) my age...don't most people hang out with other people their age, 2) submissive (shared interest), and 3) in Fayetteville, North Carolina...a local friend? Just seems odd to me that you would find this so unbelievable. *shrug* But it doesn't bother me, and it's not relevant, so i'm dropping it now.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 60
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