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finding a new Dom - 5/10/2007 7:37:48 PM   
GeneGG


Posts: 22
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		My Master and i have been training a new sub and wanted to start to look for a new Dom for her ... any sugestions on how to do this???
Just for FYI she knew she was being trained to be someone elses sub when the time was right and she was ready ... thank you very much for any thoughts
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RE: finding a new Dom - 5/10/2007 7:45:35 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

she was being trained to be someone elses sub when the time was right and she was ready


How do you train a sub to be some one else's ?

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to GeneGG)
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RE: finding a new Dom - 5/10/2007 7:48:24 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

quote:

she was being trained to be someone elses sub when the time was right and she was ready


How do you train a sub to be some one else's ?


Well I would ask the same question. But to answer the first question, I would help her to find lifestyle events and gatherings and let her meet people. Any future relationships in her life will probably have a greater chance of success if she meets people she is attracted to, shares interests with and develops on her own.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
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RE: finding a new Dom - 5/10/2007 8:42:00 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		you can train in basics....particulars are another story. 

I suggest building a new profile here and guide her in her search...also the community at large in real time is a great idea.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: finding a new Dom - 5/10/2007 9:26:14 PM   
GeneGG


Posts: 22
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you ... and yes it is general training ... since she is new to this lifestyle ... thank you all for your input

(in reply to earthycouple)
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RE: finding a new Dom - 5/10/2007 9:38:03 PM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		Get her involved with the local munches.
A lot depends on where you are located

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Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to GeneGG)
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RE: finding a new Dom - 5/11/2007 1:15:57 AM   
Totalmaster4you


Posts: 1359
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		The best way to help your newbi is for the Master to screen the perspective Dominants. Set up a profile and clearly state that that she's being guided in this important decision. In creating the profile don't use words that would be used in a vanilla profile. Find out what her current and future wants and needs are. Since you are a couple look at your own relationship from the same perspective making sure that you stick with measurable information. ( For example are the personalities compatible; the goals; domestic or works outside the home; bedroom domination or 24/7) Try to look down the road after the lust wears off. Try to match them up on nonbdsm things as well, like: do they like to excersize; read the newspaper; foods; tv shows; politics; and religion. One thing to take into account is her future asperations. If she wants to become a slave, for example, then she'll need someone to continue her training beyond his particular preferences. Remember to include poly or a Domme if she is comfortable with that. I wish you all well.

_____________________________

Sometime ago I decided it was time to change my nic. However I didn't wish to disconnect from my original profile. Since then I've signed Touch your mind (TYM or Tym). Opinions in my posts should be taken as my opinion and my opinion only.

(in reply to Kinkypupper)
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RE: finding a new Dom - 5/11/2007 4:39:33 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Totalmaster4you

The best way to help your newbi is for the Master to screen the perspective Dominants.

That would certainly screen me out pronto - I won't submit to "screenings" by anyone except the interested fem/sub.  If she can't at least speak for herself at an equal and mature adult level with me, we're probably no gonna relate outside of a D/s dynamic - which is at least half the relationship.
 
Perhaps a little more info on why she needs to be chaperoned to such an extent....?  I'm positive I'm not the only Dom who won't be subjected to "hoop skipping" by a 3rd party "protector".  When I write to a fem/sub, I like to think (even if delusional) that my mail is for her eyes only - which is the confidentiality anyone gets in return....
 
Focus.

(in reply to Totalmaster4you)
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RE: finding a new Dom - 5/11/2007 4:47:57 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GeneGG

My Master and i have been training a new sub and wanted to start to look for a new Dom for her ... any sugestions on how to do this???
Just for FYI she knew she was being trained to be someone elses sub when the time was right and she was ready ... thank you very much for any thoughts


How did she find you two?
If she was able to connect positively once on her own, then she should be competent enough to do it again. 

(in reply to GeneGG)
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RE: finding a new Dom - 5/11/2007 4:53:32 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Totalmaster4you

The best way to help your newbi is for the Master to screen the perspective Dominants.


I completely disagree...but then I don't believe in arranged marriages either. If she is an adult she should certainly be able to make her own choices in partners. I certainly would not wish to have to be with someone that someone "chose" for me.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Totalmaster4you)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: finding a new Dom - 5/11/2007 5:29:31 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I think this might be an example of "micromanagement" that we spoke of in another thread.  Obviously, the Dom couple are enjoying their project of training the new sub and now they're moving to overseeing choosing her new Dom.  Now they just need to find a new Dom who wants to be part of the package.

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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: finding a new Dom - 5/11/2007 5:53:47 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I'm curious, what are the "basics" you speak of.  I will never understand how a girl can be "trained" for someone she hasn't yet met.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to GeneGG)
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RE: finding a new Dom - 5/11/2007 6:00:21 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

KatyLied
I'm curious, what are the "basics" you speak of. 


I'm curious also. What Basics?




_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: finding a new Dom - 5/11/2007 6:03:15 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:


I'm curious also. What Basics?


How to give a better bj?

hehe


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: finding a new Dom - 5/11/2007 6:12:34 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		i would like to know the basics myself...aside from have a submissive mindset and desire to please, there must be something else because all my punishments in past relationships were from the very inexperience that drew the dom to me in the first place - quite a mindfuck, i might add~

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: finding a new Dom - 5/11/2007 2:28:54 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I've checked back a few times now. I am very curious to learn what
"the basics" are.
Why do I get the feeling there will be no answers coming?

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: finding a new Dom - 5/11/2007 2:40:11 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		To me, when I hear the word "training" I think of proper protocol and getting one's mind in the right place to accept commands. It might include some training in positions, domestic duties, quick responses, and learning that bdsm is not the dark force it seems to the vanilla world. The particulars of each new Dom / Master will be different but at least they will have the basic structure to work with.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: finding a new Dom - 5/11/2007 3:14:18 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		 
Basics to me are just natural good manners- common sense.

If I thought I might some day need to learn or just wanted to learn for instance -positions I'd go look them up and practice.
Any thing having to do with the D/s relationship I needed to learn my Dom taught or guided me.



_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to slaveish)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: finding a new Dom - 5/11/2007 3:52:57 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		~shrug~ It's your thing and it's perfectly acceptable. I think it is acceptable as well if a Dom and sub are more comfortable in training. I think it would be especially helpful for brand newbie subs. They crave guidance, don't know their submission deeply, and might be too intimidated to find their own Dom right away.

I've never had a trainer nor have I ever trained a sub but I think it would probably be a rewarding experience for everyone involved. I also think it would be difficult for both sides to let go - at least it would be for me - but as I said, I'm not a trainer so perhaps I don't have the proper mindset for it.

< Message edited by slaveish -- 5/11/2007 3:53:32 PM >

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: finding a new Dom - 5/11/2007 4:16:51 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I think training a person for some other unknown person in the future is nonsense and nothing more than manipulation under the guise of "helping" or "teaching".  

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to slaveish)
Profile   Post #: 20
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