RE: Back Ground Checks

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Back Ground Checks

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Back Ground Checks

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 4 [5]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Back Ground Checks - 5/18/2005 7:37:16 AM

SenorX

Posts: 142
Joined: 12/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

It amazes me the paranoia I see in these threads. Try to understand folks, you will never ever be 100% safe. You could run a background check on me, hire a private detective to follow me around for a month, interrogate my family and friends, require 100 verifiable references, ten forms of ID, etc. etc. ad nauseum... and die in a car wreck on the way to meet me. Welcome to reality, it ain't safe out there. The trick isn't to live your life paranoid, live in fear, live dwelling on every horror story you've ever heard until you've scared yourself to death. The trick is to realize that for every one of those stories, even if they are all true... there must be thousands of people who managed to meet and were just fine (Or else explain to me how literally hundreds of thousands of people go to munches and fetish events every year and the vast majority of them have a great time and nothing bad happens?). Take a few precautions, use some good judgement, and feel free to take your time. But if you're looking for a written guarantee that the person you are about to meet is Mr or Mrs Perfect, it ain't gonna happen.

Very well stated!

The paranoia is being promulgated more and more each day, as it is the design of the government, corporate world leaders, and the media to increase our paranoia. It just makes it so much easier to gain control over the masses. Look at what's happening now with the national ID system? 35-40 years ago, American citizens would have been in an uproar if that was even publicly brought out by a politician. What about the child abductions? There have been abundant child abductions since the beginning of civilization. If checked statistically, the number of child abductions, per capita, today is less than the number of child abductions that occured 100 and 200 years ago. But, by hyping child abduction sories in the news, we become more complacently willing to agree to the idea of our children having computer chip implants in their hands at birth in order to be able to TRACK them!

X

BTW, yes, there are statistics that show the divorce rates at 51% - 67% inclusive, so I usually just say over 50%. Statistically, less than 1/3 of the couples married this year will be together for their anniversary.

BTW², My bride and I have been happily married for 10 years, so I guess Wwe are nonconformists in this day in age. And Wwe didn't perform background checks. Instead Wwe had a long courtship whereby Wwe had the opportunties to meet each others' family members and decide for Oourselves, rather than from a computer print-out, whether Wwe wanted to spend the rest of Oour lives together or not.

< Message edited by SenorX -- 5/18/2005 7:44:37 AM >

(in reply to Padriag)

Profile

Post #: 81

RE: Back Ground Checks - 6/14/2005 4:00:55 PM

fillepink

Posts: 124
Status: offline

i think there is a place for background checks (which i can help arrange for a realitively mmodest fee) to weed out men and women with BIG RED FLAGS whom the interested party, whether it be the Dom or the submissive, should not move in with -- period. i'm talking about P/pl with criminal histories that include crimes against persons or felony fraud convictions. more expensive background checks will unearth restraining orders filed against the subject and other matters which should be considered a barrier to finalizing a decision to move.

but i agree with seniorX; nothing will ever take the place of a real life courtship and the opportunity to see the person in their environment; meet their family; and generally get to know them as a person. it's P/pl who rush into real life relationships based soley on the online and phone communication who place T/themselves at the greatest risk of disappointment and perhaps harm.

there is one note of caution i would add: if Y/you ask for the necessary information (generally the social security number) and funds (if you are the submissive) to run a background check, and the other person refuses, wonder why. fillepink

Attachment (1)

(in reply to SenorX)

Profile

Post #: 82

RE: Back Ground Checks - 6/15/2005 11:47:07 PM

asissyforher

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: iowa now..maybe move soon.
Status: offline

So my questions to you folks are:

What do you think of background checks?
Do you think that they are needed in "dating" today?
When do you think it is a good idea to do such at thing?
If you wouldn't do a background check why?

Emerald :)

< Message edited by Emmmrld -- 5/9/2005 3:00:54 PM >
========
in THIS one, yes!
but then, it may, not saying it will mind You, but may become one where people get too overly paranoid too.
"i" have no credit,,,,,,,so Ya run one on me and find zip.
i have no felonies,...but have had a few squabbles with ex wives and their boyfriends.
i am no saint......but not the devil my ex's would have Ya believe either.
i keep myself, at home, where i was taught to be, keep my nose out of trouble, out of the public eye, low profile....

some folks say i am a no good because i am not, conformed to the world.
but i see it as, ready to take on any domme anywhere at my flip of a button and go.
i am footloose and fancy free. no ties,,,anyone anywhere.

You tell me what Ya think.
it could be a good thing for that lady's problem. but some of us are not a part of "normal" high society either.

a slave

_____________________________

"still looking for a real life domme..no more plastic wannabes for me"

(in reply to Emmmrld)

Profile

Post #: 83

RE: Back Ground Checks - 6/16/2005 5:59:13 AM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

Greetings, all.

If you can get someone to give you the url for their livejournal, online diary, etc., you could gain lots of insight into someone and possibly save all concerned a lot of pain. I know I wish I would have done that.

Bob

< Message edited by DesertRat -- 6/16/2005 11:23:02 AM >

(in reply to Emmmrld)

Profile

Post #: 84

RE: Back Ground Checks - 6/16/2005 6:41:29 AM

asissyforher

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: iowa now..maybe move soon.
Status: offline

desert rat'' lol.......online? mine is here by me, not online. i have never had one online.

a slave

_____________________________

"still looking for a real life domme..no more plastic wannabes for me"

(in reply to DesertRat)

Profile

Post #: 85

RE: Back Ground Checks - 6/20/2005 4:02:20 PM

buffiyum

Posts: 119
Status: offline

Well,... in theory they sound like a great idea! i mean who wouldnt want to know if the Oone Tthey are thinking of getting involve with is a 'bad guy/girl'?
However, in practice here is the issue at least as far as i know, within Canada, where buffy lives.
The criminal indices check which one does with the city, provincial or RCM police, is only that: a check to see if you have any 'priors'. That doesnot help to know the kind of person one is 'dealing with' or about to 'deal with'.
The plaudettes of Tthose one knows, may help but then, how do Wwe really know if it is the truth?
i suggest that one need all of the above, and time and shared experiences to know what one needs to know, in order to proceed to a 'Collar'. i got me a list of sortes:
Oone need the real full legal name.
Oone need the criminal indices check done as well as the medical check done and shared (works both ways people dont cha know, not just the subbie/slave providing when asked but also the Dom/me, Master, Mistress).
Oone need to talk to Oothers who know Tthem both good and bad.
Oone need to know, Wwho Tthey know, that maybe one also know. that is perhaps a very good way.
and one need to spend time observing Tthem and being with Tthem too, in company is preferred especially at first.
Finalely, Oone need to trust the 'gut' and at leaste for me, to talk any worrys/confusions/doubts, over with Ffriends whom i respecte. This has helped me a lot.
Ok so here is the kicker: i didnt do that one time because i didnt think with one guy that i needed to. he seem so harmless, so sweet .... 'real slave bro' and guess what? he wasnt maybe anything of those things.
In retrospecte, i now realise how very lucky i was that i am maybe alive today. i was lucky that time. i will not be so foolish again. That, i think, would be tempting the Fates.
respectfully,
buffiyum

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Profile

Post #: 86