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RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/12/2007 4:11:05 AM

SadisticMan

Posts: 143
Joined: 8/19/2006
From: Columbus, OH
Status: offline

If you like each other what does age have to do with it, enjoy all the time
you can with each other. I personally like younger girls, I dont' like older
than myself, but that is one's perference.
I don't like reading all the negativity of why it won't work by all the "experts" on
here. What do you know? You tried it once and it didn't work, so you pass
on your opinions to everyone who will listen, trying to ruin other peoples ideas.

_____________________________

We are looking into forming a committe to look into a study to discuss the possibilities of making recommendations to the chair so that it may be considered as an option sometime in the near future, at least we're thinking about it.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 61

RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/12/2007 5:58:52 AM

DaddyDom48

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/8/2007
Status: offline

Wow - if your mind was closed any tighter, you'd wouldn't be able to speak, much less continue typing this ludicrous nonsense. You so don't know what you are talking about, I hardly know where to begin.
I'm 58, my partner is 26; we've been together for two years and it's the best partnership either one of us has ever had. Can I keep up with her 7 year old son? Just fine, thank you very much. And being a good father has nothing to do with age, my bigoted young friend. I have considerably more patience, energy and time now than I did in my thirties and am a much better father now than I was then. Will we have a child of our own? Possibly. Will the child be loved, nurtured, respected and honored? Absolutley.
Will I be dead at 70? Highly unlikely since both my parents and grandparents all lived into their mid-eighties and we're all living longer these days in any case. Will I die before my partner? Probably. Does that stop us from enjoying every moment we are together? Nope.
If I think about it, I know you are WRONG.
It is unfortunate that youth is wasted on young fools like you.

(in reply to mercmjm)

Post #: 62

RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/12/2007 7:57:39 AM

ErusUxor

Posts: 44
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline

first off ...youth (just like older age) has its advantages and disadvantages in relationships.

So basically, one must choose which advantages are most important to them.

I am 33 and my Master/husband is 55. Way more than 5 years differece there.

Not only does it work for us, but it works long term. This isn't going to work for some (even many) because of things like growing up in very different worlds and having very different world views because of it. But for a subset,especially those of us who have had to "grow up quick" due to life experiences, having children, early first marriges, dealing with family deaths at a young age...etc, we desire a diffent level of "maturity" in our lives (be that emotional or physical maturity) because it is what we understand the best and are most comfortable with.

I would bet that being a younger Dom is difficult, as most subs are drawn to someone that they view as being more stable and mature. It feels easier to trust someone who has learned a bit about life through time and exprience. Not to say that young Doms are not trust worthy...they just haven't had the time yet to let who they are shine....

There are also subs out there that are new and wish to find a Master/Dom that they can "grow" with. Its all a matter of preference and comfortable compatibility. Keep looking and learning...if you build it (yourself) they will come :)

_____________________________

When they said "penny for your thoughts" ...I had to try and figure out how to make change.

(in reply to mercmjm)

Post #: 63

RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/12/2007 10:12:47 AM

Indemnis

Posts: 179
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

Well, I know I prefer older men. They tend to be more secure.. with themselves, as well as with their subbies. Maturity is also a factor... wether you would like it to be or not. I definately like the Daddy type relationship, particularly within D/s, it seems to me to be more special, more intimate. I don't know if I could have those sorts of feelings for a younger man.
The biggest factor? Though yes, my current D is older than I am, by quite a bit, it all comes down to the fact that every time I speak with him, I like him a little bit more... it's to do with compatibility, with the person he is, not how many years he's happened to live. It's only a smeggin' number. Were he the same man in a 20 year old body, I would still care for him.
However, I must agree with some of the ladies I've seen posting here... older men are just plain hotter. <smirk>

(in reply to ErusUxor)

Post #: 64

RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/12/2007 10:28:19 AM

xBullx

Posts: 4206
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny

Older men are yummy delicious wonderful treats!
My dom is 15 years older than me which equals serious yum factor *grinzzzz*
Young guys hold absolutely no appeal for me, infact most of them have a lot of turn offs in my view.
Older men are yummy delicious wonderful treats!!!

-walks up to jenny leaning his old form on a cain that could double as a, a, a, a device of, of, of well you know-

The Aging Bovine,

Bull

_____________________________

Live well,

Bull

I'm not an asshole; I'm simply resolute...

"A Republic, If You Can Keep It."

Caution: My humor is a bit skewed.

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 65

RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/12/2007 11:08:34 AM

littlespicyone

Posts: 28
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline

I met my first Master when I was 19 and he was 48. We spent 4 years together and I learned so much from him that I can't even begin to explain it. I have always been attarcted to older men, for the reason you mentioned about being a father figure. One of the things I look for in a Dominant is his ability to make me feel safe, secure, and looked after. I'm now 26 and, while at 19 would never have considered a man my age, now I am finding that a few men my age can make me feel just as looked after as an older man. I've also found, in my dealings with the oppposite sex, that most Doms my age and younger are all about sex. I don't come into a D/s relationship for sex ... I can get that anywhere. I enter into a D/s relationship for the relationship itself: the mental and emotional bonding and the romance (D/s can be romantic, you know!). That's why I set my search to men my age or older.

I also think that the age gap is a personal thing. For me, a 20 year age gap would not be desireable, but I certainly wouldn't generalize and say that it's impossible. As my Fearless Leader once told me, "Stereotyping is bad ... every single time."

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 66

RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/12/2007 11:17:53 AM

shyinini

Posts: 550
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

but now why would some want older men but would also have a domme who is their own age? does that really make sense?

mercmjm ~ I have been accused of not thinking out of my own box.
It aint so but they can think what they want.
Can you think out of your box?

If I were young again... I WOULD choose an older Dom but a Domme my age and hope both were poly and we could all be 24/7.
Why? I would want that maturity level in an older man, esp a Dom. One who knows how toprotect, discipline, guide, respect...one who does have integrity and honor...who is satisfied with who he is and who I am and notlooking for just any pussy under any skirt.
I would want a Domme my age so we could have girly times as well as Domme/sub times.

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.

(in reply to mercmjm)

Post #: 67

RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/12/2007 11:48:02 AM

tesoro

Posts: 6
Joined: 6/24/2004
Status: offline

well this has been an interesting thread. i have to say at my age (almost 24).. most everyone is older than me. also guys my age are not interested in what i want. most young men want to just fuck, which great for some dont get me wrong. but i want something that is going to last, to build a stable relationship with someone. someone who is ready to put down roots, and in general most 24-25 yo men are still out partying and sleeping with anything with a hole. although there are always exceptions to every rule.
when i was 16 i started dating a man who was 18. (which is well within your 'acceptable' age range) we fell madly in love with each other and we made plans for the future.. talked about marriage and kids.. we had our whole lives ahead of us. but what happens.. after his 19th bday he had a heart attack and passed away 3 months later. 19? who ever thinks they are going to die that young?
19 or 70 what is the difference? no matter how old a person is.. to the family they leave behind its always too soon. and the only thing you can do is enjoy the time together.
older and more mature men tend to have the priorities in their lives in order and understand that time is the most valuable thing there is, and take advantage of that.

(in reply to shyinini)

Post #: 68

RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/12/2007 12:49:42 PM

onegoodgirl

Posts: 126
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

looks at the OP ... i am your age ... and your post is exactly the reason why i would reply to a man 20 years older than myself before i would reply to you

at 23 i am still a girl ... not yet a woman - insert bab bar singing here! - i need to be with a MAN of wisdom, understanding maturity and experience ... though i would not limit myself to a particular age bracket but i know i am MUCH MORE LIKELY to find what i need in a man in (for example) the 30-45 bracket rather than the 19-29 one.

does not think it is a question of age ... last year a played a little with a Dom who was 21 at the time ( a year younger than i was) ... and he was awesome in his insight and maturity for one so young and relatively inexperienced. Now the time was not right for us to build into a more long term dynamic but i would have gone to him had the opportunity been there because he had the strength of character to hold me in safety, love and submission even at our young age.

^^5 Exactly what I was thinking.

Accept that some of us just *know* older men are going to be much more likely to fill the roles we're seeking to fill (the way we like those roles filled ;).. not to mention some men do indeed look HAWT when they're older.

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 69

RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/12/2007 3:14:22 PM

WillowRain

Posts: 191
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

I would like to know why I see so many subs and slaves, particulary female, go after doms who are atleast 5 years older than them and not male doms their own age? Also for the ones who are bi, why would they go after a domme who is their age but will only go for a dom who is atleast 5 years older than them? Also do not tell me becuase of maturity, I have worked in corporations such as readers digest, a fortune 500 company that i will not name, and various other companys that have people ranging from 25-70 and generally there are really not that mature or much more mature than me, atleast the ones who do not have kids anyways

Some your age is showing with this question. I am 38 and my Sir is 42. I consider us to be at the same age, give or take a few even though he is four and a half years older than me. Five years really doesn't seem all that much at this stage in my life and my perception of my Sir is not that he is "older." He and I are from the same generation, share lots of the same memories, affinities for music that represents differant stages in our lives. The differance between 18 and 22, is much MUCH more than the differance between 38 and 42.

I will offer to you that a lot of women are drawn toward stability and acomplishment. Someone who is older than them will likely be further along that path than they themsellves are, so they may seem wiser, or more desireable for that reason. Also, especially in the twenties, it seems that a lot of men take longer to solidify into who they are as human beings than women do. Sometimes it seems like most men under thirty are still very much in their boyhood, or still have bits of that clinging to them.

It's past experiences that set people's preferance, personal assumptions, cultural ideals or stereotypes. It won't change anything to fret about this preferance in others for older Dominants. Consider it one of the very few hardships of youth. Enjoy all the abundant gifts that are yours at your age.

< Message edited by WillowRain -- 5/12/2007 3:47:31 PM >

(in reply to mercmjm)

Post #: 70

RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/12/2007 3:45:38 PM

solitudesmiles

Posts: 807
Joined: 8/19/2006
From: my thoughts
Status: offline

i tend personaly to look for someone my own age. i tend to steer clear of those whom are more than 6 years older than me. but i think the idea is that the doms whom are older by 5 years or more may have more experiance in te lifestyle than someone closr to their age. but this only my opinion lol

(in reply to mercmjm)

Post #: 71

RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/12/2007 10:06:44 PM

Suzykeu

Posts: 115
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline

Well, my Mistress is about 18 years older than me and i can't imagine living without Her.

(in reply to solitudesmiles)

Post #: 72

RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/15/2007 6:57:56 AM

spiral23

Posts: 1053
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline

agrees with BoiJen, you come across with a bad attitude, lots of women prefer older men even those in nilla relationships, if you feel cheated because subs wont consider you because of your age, then sorry thats tough but life...its their choice!..look on the bright side, you too will be "mature" one day..

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 73

RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/15/2007 7:09:27 AM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

well first, I should clarify. It is not a bad thing if you look for both your age and older, but girls who only look for older. Let's be honest, someone who is 15 or 20 years older than you, there really cannot be a relationship. A long term one atleast. I mean you could play with them or be trained but any form of complete lifetime ownership cannot really be done if you really analyze it. Now to answer your question about would I take on a sub who is 15 years older than me. Would I play with her? possibly. Would we just do something used for training purposes? possibly. But would I go as far as complete ownership or a real relationship other than basically friends or a regular mentor, no.

I wish I could remember the writer's name, but she said that...

Paraphrasing unknown authorstarts here:

The more "ideal" relationships should be between older men/younger women and older women/younger men. The main reasons were the older male's sexual experience compared to the young female's lack thereof. It was also suggested the aged male mind could help bring reason to the mind of the young female. In the other scenario, an older woman is more tolerant and guiding than a young woman, and can "tame the beast" in the young male. They can help guide the man to be mature and are tolerant of sexual inexperience. The young male's eagerness to please is also said to be lost on young females who are not sure of what they want. Financial reasons come up, particularly to protect from a young male/young female relationship where money is always tight.

Paraphrasing unknown author ends here.

Grrr I wish I remembered her (I keep saying "her/she" but the author COULD have been a man) name. I know the paraphrase doesn't account for the smart/mature/attuned youngsters, but there is unavoidable logic there.

Edit: My Pet is a 2 years my senior and she looks at me like I have the world figured out. She trusts my judgement and constantly expresses her awe of my attunement to her mind and heart. I'm a meer lad of 21, if that makes you feel any better.

In regards to feeding the fury that has clearly melted the stones of your hearth: I have lied about my age a handful of times because I knew that honesty would have me immediately bundled with a pack of sex-crazed hyenas hell-bent on outdrinking eachother and falling off high places. I don't suggest lying as the foundation of a D/s relationship, but perhaps hiding your age for the first 30 seconds.

< Message edited by HeavansKeeper -- 5/15/2007 7:16:40 AM >

(in reply to mercmjm)

Post #: 74

RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/15/2007 7:16:33 AM

PrincessEllie

Posts: 287
Joined: 11/30/2006
Status: offline

Men mature slower than women. It's a proven fact. I may be only eighteen, but I am very mature for my age. I seek older men because I prefer to be on the same level with them. I am also aware that age and maturity aren't synonomous, and generally keep an open mind about Doms of all ages.

_____________________________

Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But whips and chains excite me
So tie me up
Or hold me down
And bite me baby, bite me!

http://www.cafepress.com/scenedayware
--Discreet BDSM day clothes--

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 75

RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/15/2007 7:19:08 AM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

It's completely off-topic, but PrincessEllie, I love your signature. It has such a twisted regard for the innocent day-school rhyme.

quote:

Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But whips and chains excite me
So tie me up
Or hold me down
And bite me baby, bite me!

(in reply to PrincessEllie)

Post #: 76

RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/15/2007 11:54:05 AM

behindmirrors

Posts: 340
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline

Well, from reading this thread, I have established two things:
1. I'm the same age as the OP, and have good reasons why I have never dated someone less than a year older than myself (and that year difference was even a stretch, which ended terribly). I have always seemed older than my years, and so in order for me to be in a harmonious relationship, I need someone who has the same rational sense as I do, as well as the maturity factor (which, even though you say that answer doesn't count, I think it really does, and you might want to work on that...). My sense of life is not that which someone my age usually has, either, due to the sheer fact that I did age a bit before normal, and was forced to survive on my own rather early in a few senses of the term. I like being around people older than myself simply because we have more in common than someone (typically) of my own age. I own my own business, and have for nearly 8 years now. I'm stable, responsible, confident, and motivated on my own. I'm independent. I know very few others my age that meet all of these qualifications.

2. I am very fortunate that my Master is 8 years older than me. He's a lot easier to get along with than most people my age. He also has been as much as a teacher, mentor, and friend to me as a Master, and I love him. The age difference wasn't something I was aware of when I met him, and when I did learn his age, I had already decided that he was wonderful and that I loved him. After that decision, I haven't worried about it at all. Some of us don't look at age first, we look at the person. That's what I did.

Tip to the OP: work on your person, and stop worrying about what age others go for. More people will be attracted to you for you than they will be for you as an age number anyway, in the end. Want to attract girls your own age? Be prepared to show them how you are stable, mature, responsible, independent, and assured in your capabilities. Show them you're not going to have a false sense of entitlement that so many people my age have- which leads to the aggrivation and subsequent whining about it here- basically, if you want to prove the things that a girl is going to be looking for, you're going to have to stop doing that.

behindmirrors.

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

Post #: 77

RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/15/2007 7:18:09 PM

EnigmaticElf

Posts: 4
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm
... and generally there are really not that mature or much more mature than me....

So what you're really asking is, "Why won't anybody date meeeeeeee??" and it's easier to blame all the women out there than to figure out how to make yourself into a more desireable person. Common problem.

(in reply to mercmjm)

Post #: 78

RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/16/2007 4:14:05 AM

maledave7

Posts: 142
Joined: 8/4/2006
Status: offline

I would prefer to find a dominant woman who is older. I do find it easier to submit to her if she is older. I do think that she would have more experience than I would.
I do think that there is a lot more to a relationship than just age. I would really love to get to know other things about her. I would be interested in her family, job, friends, hobbies… I would enjoy her asking me questions about my life.

(in reply to mercmjm)

Post #: 79

RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/16/2007 5:46:44 AM

MissOchistic

Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline

Age is a preference like hair color, or weight.

i am completely turned off by the idea of dating a man younger than me, even a small difference. Just feels icky.

However, i prefer my girlfriends to be younger. An older woman just always feels too "big sister"-ish to have a relationship with.

_____________________________

"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 80

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