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RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/16/2007 9:26:02 AM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm
I would like to know why I see so many subs and slaves, particulary female, go after doms who are atleast 5 years older than them and not male doms their own age?  Also for the ones who are bi, why would they go after a domme who is their age but will only go for a dom who is atleast 5 years older than them? 


My age preferance is 10 older, any younger and I don't usually look at them. Maturity does have a BIG part in it, I want someone who is out of that 'get drunk and party' phase or that 'its all about me and sex' phase, few men in their 20s or early 30s that I know are out of that phase. In this lifestyle I also HAVE to be with a partner who has a LOT of experience, I LOVE knife play, I can fall asleep during it, some having a parnter with at least 15 to 20 years experience is mandatory as far as I am concerned and a guy in his 20s can't [legally] have that much experience.

Being a mother to a small child is also part of it, I want someone that my child can be around and learn from; older men are stable, they know who they are, what they want, and where they are going, younger guys, are in my experience, still looking and trying to find who they are, they also don't relaize that what happens to me, does effect my child.

I also want someone that I can go to the theatre with, just cuddle with, play with, have children with, and older men fit that well, besides, it helps that its a mutual attraction. lol

As for Dommes/Mistresses [yes, I am bi,]; I have played with Mistresses before, once again, they HAVE to be older, otherwise, regardlss of how dominate the female is, I look at her as a playmate and NOT as someone who is experienced enough to be dominant.

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(in reply to mercmjm)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/16/2007 9:37:28 AM   
ownedkitten


Posts: 200
Joined: 4/2/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings mercmjm,

Everyone has their own preferences in a partner (romantic or not), and age sometimes falls into that category.  Master happens to be my husband, and he is 4 years younger than I am.  However, his maturity level pertaining to ownership is higher than many of the older Doms/Masters that I've met.  The difference here is that we met and married before becoming Master and kajira.  I could not honestly say that in terms of a M/s dynamic that I would be able to pin down if I have an age preference because I've never faced that situation before, and hopefully will not have to in the future.

However, with that said, I don't have a real preference in terms of age in a romantic relationship, and I do prefer that element in my M/s - the man I was with for a few years before Master happened to be ten years my senior.  As for my female partners, they have ranged from a few years younger to ten years older.   It just depends on the person.

Grace in Service,
caitriona

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/16/2007 1:56:02 PM   
phoenixinchains


Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline 		more a matter of math than preferance really. few males display mature behavior right after moving out of their boy-hood bedrooms. as for dom vrs dommes, well math again. there are more males available to bi females than available bi-sexual females or lesbians. i started dating my Mate and i thought He was at least five years older than me based on His manorisms. He is only six monthes older, and is in full support of my total sexuality : )

(in reply to ownedkitten)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/18/2007 2:42:49 PM   
chrissyslave


Posts: 95
Joined: 1/13/2007
Status: offline 		To the OP,

Well, I have experienced overall being a more "mature" woman, at least on paper..not looks or lifestyle, the typical contact from a young Dom...say in their 20's, is far less mature and developed of approach than the older Doms, based on averages (some older ones are still very brief and not informative but at least are better overall).  If they are in their 30s it's a bit better, but I don't often see quality contacts worth pursuing untill a Dom is in his 40s or higher. Also, many younger guys want a family and kids down the road, and we aren't traveling there!   I would say that the modest aged Dommes tend to say and show more personality and focus at a younger age, but that might simply be due to their being woman, and contacting another woman.  But still some are too brief in initiatiing contact.

And besides I wouldn't want to be in a situation where someone might think my "Dom" was out with his mother so I have minimal age and range preferences, as well as lifestyle objecives.  And one very interesting prospect guy/Dom is near age 60 but looks and is as active as any man in his 40's or 30s (off climbing mountains at times!), and very mature in his self and Mastership.....so that is what is attracting this one.  And frankly most of those that are in their 20s I think are often really just HDGs (Horney Dom Guys) that see it, and pretend it, for the thrill and possible free sex.   

If you are the exception, as their always is with any averages or rules, then do what it takes to show it by having a well written detailed profile, and a interesting and personalized initial message to send out.  State your experience, in D/s and in life and don't be like the recent 21 year old that wrote me only saying "I want you to be my slave!"....yea...right.  You might have to prove youself a bit more than an older guy, but if it's in you and has shown these qualities then show it, and the right girl/woman will be responsive to it.  Good luck to you.

chrissy-slave girl 

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(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/18/2007 7:01:12 PM   
littleone0472


Posts: 30
Joined: 7/11/2005
Status: offline 		i'm 35 and Master is 54..

honestly this was so not what i was looking for.  i was looking for someone around my own age but guess what, they are looking for someone 18 i think.. lol..

but then Master found me and well experience is a beautiful thing and so is He.  i care for Him deeply even with the age difference.  i'm still looking for one around my own age but then again i've been searching for that for YEARS and still haven't found one.. soooo is it my fault or theirs??

To the OP so uhh who broke up with you for someone older?? everyone is allowed preferences.. even your ex or whoever it was that pissed you off..

(in reply to chrissyslave)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/18/2007 9:36:20 PM   
possom


Posts: 46
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		Personally, I prefer older Doms because they seem more 'worldly'. 

And also probably because I'm a daddy's girl so I tend to look for qualities in older guys that my dad has.. and that normally starts with age.


(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/18/2007 10:16:54 PM   
bellaballanda


Posts: 62
Joined: 9/1/2006
Status: offline 		I have to agree that age is just a preference.  I'm 23 and I prefer a Dom older than me (but I guess there's no way to be a whole lot younger than me).  I've done 2 months older than me all the way to 12 years older than me.  It really depends on the individual and not the number i think.

If you're looking for people your own age to at least make friends in BDSM ('cause friendships can grow you know), try finding the locak BDSM organization and see if they have a discussion group/get together for younger people.....


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~Shelly

The lifestyle comes to each differently... always remember that....

(in reply to possom)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/19/2007 4:53:39 AM   
Lordskitten


Posts: 66
Joined: 10/12/2005
Status: offline 		My best guess is, the girls looking for older men have had horrible experiences with guys's their own age.  I've never felt bad about myself with an older man, but i was once with someone my own age who made me feel like crap and treated me worse then a peice of gum on the sidewalk...

Older men that i've encountered just tend to be more relaxed about certain things in life...Bodily functions, as an example.  Most women dont like being made to feel like anything we do is un-natural.  To this date, i've only met older men who didnt make me feel anything i did was un-natural.

As for the women their own age, well...maybe its more along the lines of having a 'peer to hang out with'.  I've no idea tho, so i cant offer much advice on this.

(in reply to mercmjm)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/20/2007 6:56:35 AM   
Sabrina002


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/14/2007
Status: offline 		i dont just naturally go for men older than me - i am also attracted to those younger too. so i would say maybe a 10 year window,   5 years older to 5 years younger...  to me its the experience that is important and i find it difficult to be convinced that a 20 year old Dom can call himself 'extremely experienced'  even if i was only 20 myself.   (i wish) for then i would know what route to take in my life when it comes to the lifestyle.   i would not have spent 15 years or so of my life settling for vanilla....

< Message edited by Sabrina002 -- 5/20/2007 7:48:03 AM >

(in reply to spiral23)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/20/2007 11:18:18 AM   
moki1984


Posts: 274
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline 		i have always preferred older men..more matured, experienced, just know what the fuck their doing BUT. my master happens to be 2 years younger than me but is beyond his years.so you never know

(in reply to mercmjm)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/20/2007 11:28:39 AM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		Reading the tone of your posts....might not have anything to do with your age.  If they tell you that might just be used as an excuse. 

People have a right to look for whomever or whatever they want to be happy.

Who are you to say what works out and what doesn't?  I've seen a lot of relationships that have a big age difference that have made it.  My parents for one...my dad is 11 years old than my mom....they've been together for 45 years in July.  My mom didn't have any daddy issues ...it was quite simple really, they met, fell in love and....well...after they had me.....what could they say....lol (j/k) 

seriously....you might be mature enough for some...but the best thing is to prove the naysayers wrong.....not confirm their suspicions by throwning tantrums and spewing close minded generalizations

not meant to flame....just food for thought.  Be more tolerant....you will get further

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(in reply to mercmjm)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/20/2007 12:04:19 PM   
RandomGAGirl


Posts: 57
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		I personally prefer Dom's near my own age even if that means we are learning together because I feel we are starting out on some common ground.  However I admit it is harder to find someone that is in my age group who is mature enough to realize that D/s isn't all about kinky sex.  That doesn't mean I am going to stop looking it just means that I understand patience is a virtue.

A lot of subs I have talked to prefer to play with or be Owned by older people not just because of maturity (lets face it there are plenty of immature fourtysomethings in this world) but because they often have more real-time experience in the lifestyle.  This can be preferable to a younger Dom whose experience is limited to online play/research. 

< Message edited by RandomGAGirl -- 5/20/2007 12:06:44 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/21/2007 12:27:30 AM   
subboi3382


Posts: 379
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		My master is 45, I'm 20. To me the dom being older adds to it a bit, experince, makes him more dom etc. plus lots of women go for older and lots of gay/bi guys like older

(in reply to RandomGAGirl)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/21/2007 4:33:57 AM   
Viridana


Posts: 754
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyDom48

Wow - if your mind was closed any tighter, you'd wouldn't be able to speak, much less continue typing this ludicrous nonsense. You so don't know what you are talking about, I hardly know where to begin.
I'm 58, my partner is 26; we've been together for two years and it's the best partnership either one of us has ever had. Can I keep up with her 7 year old son? Just fine, thank you very much. And being a good father has nothing to do with age, my bigoted young friend. I have considerably more patience, energy and time now than I did in my thirties and am a much better father now than I was then. Will we have a child of our own? Possibly. Will the child be loved, nurtured, respected and honored? Absolutley.
Will I be dead at 70? Highly unlikely since both my parents and grandparents all lived into their mid-eighties and we're all living longer these days in any case. Will I die before my partner? Probably. Does that stop us from enjoying every moment we are together? Nope.
If I think about it, I know you are WRONG.
It is unfortunate that youth is wasted on young fools like you.


*standing ovation*

(in reply to DaddyDom48)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/21/2007 12:40:29 PM   
badkittyamy


Posts: 41
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Nassau, Bahamas
Status: offline 		I'm fairly mature for my age and sorry but no most other 21 year old are not up to talkinfg about books, meditation and the ramifications of their actions. So my Lady is 11 years older than me and I feel at home and at peace, sorry if you feel that can't work,  I've been with her for a year now, whoops

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Profile   Post #: 95
RE: question to young subs and slaves - 5/21/2007 1:42:32 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		From my own perspective, I seek a Dom who is not merely strong and able to control, I look for one who can be my superior in all things, this means life experience, and wisdom. I won't claim to be worldly, but I am definitely hard to keep mentally stimulated unless you can range from computers to outdoor survival, from shakespear to monty python. I also have an incredible aptitude for learning, and will excell at whatever I put my mind to, as such I need a Dom who is years ahead of me in the game, AND able to keep up with my pace so that I am always  challanged. I'm not saying younger Dom's cannot do this, but they are traits I see more often in slightly older men.
I also think slightly older men(about 10 years my senior) are vaaaary sexah. Maybe it's just a kink, for whatever reason, they draw my attention and interest over younger Doms.

(in reply to badkittyamy)
Profile   Post #: 96
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