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Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 7:51:12 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		We all have come across threads we felt were initiated as a means to carry out drama or get attention.   Many times we see the same poster do this more than once.  As you start to read the thread it's apparent who the disgruntled people are as they usually whine and complain about it being another drama-sttantion seeking thread. Others chime in with some genuine advice for the original post, ignoring the drama being created all around them.   The original poster spends a majority of the time defending themselves, arguing, justifying, etc their position... and on and on it goes. 

What i find worth mentioning is that it seems there is a "click" of posters who seem to follow these threads with almost a jubilent attitude that there's "new entertainment" for them to enjoy their popcorn with.  They disparage the op, make cruel remarks and insults and generally make as much, if not more drama, then the original poster.  Don't they realize they are as much a part of the drama, if not more, by carrying on in this fashion?  If they were truly interested in cutting down on the drama they would not indulge in this kind of behavior. Why do they do it?   What could be done instead, that's more contructive, when you see a thread that's considered drama?  We all come here for our own reasons and have our own purposes for posting what we do, but aren't attention-drama-seeking-posters entitled just as everyone else to post what they want?  i don't begrudge them saying what they want to say because i have the option of not reading and or responding to them, simple as that. 



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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 8:01:12 AM   
lighthearted


Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		I've developed a few rules for myself when it comes to posting to threads, generally any thread that seems to have a serious tone to it, whether the OP is creating what I feel to be drama or not:

1.  no postings after 4-5 pages of responses.  by then the situation has deteriorated into one or more of the situations you've described.  or, whatever I want to say has been said by someone else anyway.

2.  if I feel I still must say something to the OP, and only because I feel it will geniunely help them, I PM them.  usually they respond too.

3.  after 10 pages of responses, I ignore the thread altogether.  if it's something I could have benefited from, I figure the topic will come along again anyway.

4.  if the OP is really, really, ridiculous in their original post, well, then, I consider them to be fair game.  this is generally only in extreme cases.  if it's multiple ridiculous postings by the same author, then I just ignore.

I don't have a lot of free time, so I don't want to spend what time I do have making jabs at someone I don't know and probably never will, no matter how much they may need a reality check.  I prefer to be the type of poster who is thoughtful and considerate, not the type that becomes so overwhelmed by my own emotions that I must post immediately whatever pops into my head.  so there.

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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 8:20:31 AM   
szobras


Posts: 435
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline 		I make a point for myself to reply to the OP., unless someone on thread addresses me directly. Should something someone else posted in response pique my interest, I may cantact them, or inquire on the thread if it does not go off subject.
If I have an opinion for the OP to consider or feel strongly about something written, I may post a reply. As similar viewpoints or answeres may have already been given, it is a way for others to view how I think also. If I read an OP, and initially hear derrogatory and disrespectful things in my head , I will keep my thought's to myself.

< Message edited by szobras -- 5/12/2007 8:55:10 AM >

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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 8:36:22 AM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		I'm willing to bet all the icecream in my freezer that 'the clique' are fully aware of the fact that they are adding to the problem.
For some I think they see it as pure entertainment & an opportunity to be nasty without having to look the other person in the eye.

~cj, who is feeling a wee bit jaded on this morn~

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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 8:49:16 AM   
Level


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lighthearted


3.  after 10 pages of responses, I ignore the thread altogether.  if it's something I could have benefited from, I figure the topic will come along again anyway.



What about the NFL thread? It is very important, and chock full of information.

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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 8:59:53 AM   
gypsygrl


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quote:

We all come here for our own reasons and have our own purposes for posting what we do, but aren't attention-drama-seeking-posters entitled just as everyone else to post what they want?


Yes, they do have a right to post.  Pathetic as it is, I have to admit that I enjoy those threads and I see one pop up, and I'm like, Oh goody!  A melee!  I don't get involved, but thats only because I'm not all that clever and I lack skills in verbal combat.




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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 9:07:46 AM   
shyinini


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prime example


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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 10:42:27 AM   
MasterFireMaam


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From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		This is often human nature and not something that many people are willing to change. It's why FOX programming works.

Master Fire


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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 11:03:33 AM   
FirmhandKY


Posts: 8948
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Status: offline 		Excellent post, velvet.

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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 9:07:45 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny

I'm willing to bet all the icecream in my freezer that 'the clique' are fully aware of the fact that they are adding to the problem.
For some I think they see it as pure entertainment & an opportunity to be nasty without having to look the other person in the eye.

~cj, who is feeling a wee bit jaded on this morn~


i agree cjenny and i bet these people would be the ones sitting in the back, quiet as mice, afraid to open their mouths RT. Classic bully behavior.  Whenever someone does something as a "pack" tells me they are basically a bully.

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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 9:09:30 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

This is often human nature and not something that many people are willing to change. It's why FOX programming works.

Master Fire



i agree it's an aspect of human nature i just don't understand why they can't see how bad they look to other people who see them behave in such a way.  i guess they just don't care?

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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 9:10:38 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

Excellent post, velvet.


Thank you FirmhandKY, it's been a thought i wanted to put out there after reading some disturbing threads as of late.

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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 9:12:49 PM   
minnetar


Posts: 1272
Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

We all have come across threads we felt were initiated as a means to carry out drama or get attention.   Many times we see the same poster do this more than once.  As you start to read the thread it's apparent who the disgruntled people are as they usually whine and complain about it being another drama-sttantion seeking thread. Others chime in with some genuine advice for the original post, ignoring the drama being created all around them.   The original poster spends a majority of the time defending themselves, arguing, justifying, etc their position... and on and on it goes. 

What i find worth mentioning is that it seems there is a "click" of posters who seem to follow these threads with almost a jubilent attitude that there's "new entertainment" for them to enjoy their popcorn with.  They disparage the op, make cruel remarks and insults and generally make as much, if not more drama, then the original poster.  Don't they realize they are as much a part of the drama, if not more, by carrying on in this fashion?  If they were truly interested in cutting down on the drama they would not indulge in this kind of behavior. Why do they do it?   What could be done instead, that's more contructive, when you see a thread that's considered drama?  We all come here for our own reasons and have our own purposes for posting what we do, but aren't attention-drama-seeking-posters entitled just as everyone else to post what they want?  i don't begrudge them saying what they want to say because i have the option of not reading and or responding to them, simple as that. 




velvet,
the word is clique not "click"

minnetar

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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 9:15:14 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		What? There's cliques in here?

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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 9:15:49 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		In most cases I just ignore those kinds of threads.
However; the big-ass-train-wreck in the Poly section
a while back is still providing entertainment.

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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 9:15:57 PM   
minnetar


Posts: 1272
Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline 		You are calling a situation out.  Then why the need to name names.  i find that incredibly rude rather than just talking about the concept.

minnetar

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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 9:25:48 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: minnetar

You are calling a situation out.  Then why the need to name names.  i find that incredibly rude rather than just talking about the concept.

minnetar



Not one person who has posted in this thread has named any name. What are you talking about??  No one has been rude. You must have your posts mixed up perhaps?

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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 9:30:24 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

quote:

ORIGINAL: minnetar

You are calling a situation out.  Then why the need to name names.  i find that incredibly rude rather than just talking about the concept.

minnetar



Not one person who has posted in this thread has named any name. What are you talking about??  No one has been rude. You must have your posts mixed up perhaps?



        Perhaps it was a clever attempt to illustrate the very issue you were discussing?

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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 9:34:13 PM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline 		minnetar,
I did not see any names specifically mentioned.

Velvet,
No matter what is said here, people are going to behave the way they choose.  I sometimes find the behavior unbecoming, and well, I ignore it.  Othertimes, it seems appropriate for the situation...not often.  In either case, those who do participate in such ways are just as free to speak their minds as the OP.  It is your choice to make whether or not you allow it to affect you negatively. 

We cannot change the behavior of people who are not willing to change; therefore, the only thing we can do, is change how we ourselves respond to such behavior. 

The 'why' people do it will vary.  If I were you, I wouldn't focus on the why, instead, I would simply not focus my attention to behaviors that were bothersome. 

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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/12/2007 9:52:58 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

minnetar,
I did not see any names specifically mentioned.

Velvet,
No matter what is said here, people are going to behave the way they choose.  I sometimes find the behavior unbecoming, and well, I ignore it.  Othertimes, it seems appropriate for the situation...not often.  In either case, those who do participate in such ways are just as free to speak their minds as the OP.  It is your choice to make whether or not you allow it to affect you negatively. 

We cannot change the behavior of people who are not willing to change; therefore, the only thing we can do, is change how we ourselves respond to such behavior. 

The 'why' people do it will vary.  If I were you, I wouldn't focus on the why, instead, I would simply not focus my attention to behaviors that were bothersome. 


i agree, if you don't feed the monster he can't grow.  i get annoyed when i read those threads, but nothing really to loose sleep over.  i just dislike hypocracy.

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