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RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/13/2007 3:46:59 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

Hmm, I don't think I'd want to be in their clique.

You can always be in the bad ass clique that humiliates them in public (well, a message board doesn't really count as public, but it may be as close as they get to a real life humiliation experience). We only do it if see attention-whoring behavior.

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Post #: 41

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/13/2007 3:50:39 PM

ICGsteve

Posts: 202
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

The pretense as i see it is their assuming the stance of hating the drama yet they seek out those threads and add to the drama. They would come off a lot more honest is they just said - i love this drama, it gives me an opportunity to add some of my own.

That definition of hypocricy does fit if you think about it - one example off the top - You say you hate thieves, then go out and steal. You say you hate drama, then find threads to contribute to it.

This is par for modern human interactions, honesty with others is always in short supply because fewer and fewer people are in touch with who they are as individuals so they can not be honest with themselves. BDSM forces self awareness and honesty with ones self, but many around here are not experienced with BDSM. Maybe this is why some are offended by the drama creating behavior, because it identifies the practitioners as not yet educated in BDSM yet they take up so much bandwidth. Sound right to anyone???

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 42

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/13/2007 4:19:57 PM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

I'm not sure what is more comical -- the original drama threads, or the gratuitous "moral indignation" threads that almost always follow. Someone gets bent out of shape because we're not all holding hands and singing kumbaya, and they decide to become the arbiter of how we should all behave and proceed to self-righteously lecture with bright ideas like "if you don't like what they're saying, then don't read it" while being oblivious to the fact they have started the thread because they are unable to follow their own advice.

It's really cute because they are so wound up and excited they are yapping like little dogs while making little sense at all. arf arf arf . . . they're hypocrites and I'm not . . . arf arf arf

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(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 43

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/13/2007 4:28:20 PM

ICGsteve

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Joined: 2/2/2005
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If you actually read the OP you will see that it is all about trying to understand what is going on, which is not moral indignation. See, it has question marks and everything. Paying attention is a good thing.

(in reply to happypervert)

Post #: 44

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/13/2007 7:18:36 PM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ICGsteve

If you actually read the OP you will see that it is all about trying to understand what is going on, which is not moral indignation. See, it has question marks and everything. Paying attention is a good thing.

Thank you ICGsteve for pointing that out, as "moral indignation" is not part of what i was posting about. Trying to understand and gain a better insight as to how to go about things diffferently, more constructively, is what i sought to do with this thread. As i have already stated, people will post whatever they want, just be honest about it and don't try to come off as drama haters when you are creating it yourself.

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Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to ICGsteve)

Post #: 45

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/13/2007 7:27:30 PM

Aileen68

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Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

I've actually been quite upfront with the fact that I enjoy the drama of those threads. I even said that they were better than soap operas in the last one. Am I still a hypocrite? Or do you just not like my posting style and words?

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 46

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/13/2007 8:21:00 PM

lighthearted

Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: lighthearted

3. after 10 pages of responses, I ignore the thread altogether. if it's something I could have benefited from, I figure the topic will come along again anyway.

What about the NFL thread? It is very important, and chock full of information.

hehe...don't do football...baseball yes, football no!!!

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Post #: 47

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/13/2007 8:36:11 PM

maybemaybenot

Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: lighthearted

3. after 10 pages of responses, I ignore the thread altogether. if it's something I could have benefited from, I figure the topic will come along again anyway.

What about the NFL thread? It is very important, and chock full of information.

There is an exception to every rule.

Sob or brag thread is the exception.

mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 48

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/13/2007 8:54:35 PM

Dauric

Posts: 254
Joined: 7/13/2006
Status: offline

We can't change others, we can only change ourselves.

When I decide to get in to a topic, it is because I feel that I have something coherent to say on the matter. I do my best to be diplomatic, and to be educated on the topic. Occasionally I fail to be as careful with my words as I should, and in those cases I am apologetic. Other times I am misinterpreted and I will make an effort to set the record straight. I attempt to never make fun of another, and use my rapier wit with skill rather than as a bludgeon. To conclude my posts I sign off making the point that all posts are my own "Two Cents".

This is my personal code of conduct on the web. I have never had to use a nickname other than "Dauric" for any reason in large part because of it. I can't make others adhere to it, but in all matters I do my best to uphold that standard.

It's really all any of us can do.

$0.02,

Dauric.

(in reply to maybemaybenot)

Post #: 49

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 3:54:35 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

I've actually been quite upfront with the fact that I enjoy the drama of those threads. I even said that they were better than soap operas in the last one.

Truth can be stranger (and funnier) than fiction. We are lucky to have ops who provide entertainment. It can't all be serious learning about the lifestyle. That would be boring.

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(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 50

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 4:04:19 AM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

And don't forget the random stupidity polls and games
that go on for hundreds of pages!

quote:

ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: lighthearted

3. after 10 pages of responses, I ignore the thread altogether. if it's something I could have benefited from, I figure the topic will come along again anyway.

What about the NFL thread? It is very important, and chock full of information.

There is an exception to every rule. Sob or brag thread is the exception.

mbmbn

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to maybemaybenot)

Post #: 51

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 4:39:33 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

What about the NFL thread? It is very important, and chock full of information.

There is an exception to every rule. Sob or brag thread is the exception.

That is the premier thread!

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 52

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 4:44:51 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

One would think you were looking for attention the way you continually brag about that nfl thread. I think you should get a life already.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 53

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 8:00:27 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dauric

We can't change others, we can only change ourselves.

Very true. Sometimes people are perhaps unaware how they look when they behave a certain way so you try to show them or expain to them so they will be aware. Once you know they are aware and want to act that way there's nothing you can do. Hopefully one day they will grow a backbone and stop what they are doing. At least i can say i tried. It's good to know there are posters out there like yourself who think before they post and take responsibility for it.

_____________________________

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(in reply to Dauric)

Post #: 54

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 8:56:14 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

Velvet - how one is seen by you is seen differently by another. Your statement simply classes yourself higher than some others in your own opinion - who is judging whom? Who gives you the right to say someone is speaking or acting wrongly? By telling someone how bad they are behaving - which is basically what one can surmise from your statement - you are simply trying to force someone to act within your own moral code.

How someone takes anothers words, is not their responsibility. You take it in a negative tone, that is your personal responsibility - not anyone else.

If you do not like what someone is saying, just ignore it and move on - it is ones own ego that tries to right the wrongs of others, against their will.

Peace and Rapture

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.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 55

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 9:14:01 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

ok- i glanced at the replies. no one is going to agree with everyone 100% of the time- nor will everyone "like" everyone else. thats life.

what the OP-s intention is to explore ways to discourage the run-a-muck- this is fun to upset the whole board, type.

expect alot of this - this time of year- it picks up when kids get out of school.

even in 2007 exisits internet immature types.

sometimes an iffy post is cause to think- to grow.

bottem line per the online world- if a site gets too juvenile people vote with their feet.

when a post is clearly meant to provoke- im not sure how you would handle that. behind the screen is a human.

im sure I confused some or annoyed some with my posts- so I think I will defer to what is =is.

i am greatful that the maturity extent we have here DOES exist. there some that live to fan the flames of a bad thread.

online world is that way. here I am ranting. anyhow we have alot of good people here. :-)

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 56

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 9:17:42 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

Velvet - how one is seen by you is seen differently by another. Your statement simply classes yourself higher than some others in your own opinion - who is judging whom? Who gives you the right to say someone is speaking or acting wrongly? By telling someone how bad they are behaving - which is basically what one can surmise from your statement - you are simply trying to force someone to act within your own moral code.
How someone takes anothers words, is not their responsibility. You take it in a negative tone, that is your personal responsibility - not anyone else.

If you do not like what someone is saying, just ignore it and move on - it is ones own ego that tries to right the wrongs of others, against their will.

Peace and Rapture

My statement is simply my opinion, if you read into it more, that is your perogative. i am not forcing anyone to act any certain way. This thread was a way to get ideas on how to be more constructive. When i see something that piques my attention i say something about it - how you see it is up to you. i have had many emails about this thread thanking me and telling me it's about time someone spoke up about it. You can ignore somethings only so long till you feel something should be said - if only to make others aware.

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 57

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 9:25:26 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

....what the OP-s intention is to explore ways to discourage the run-a-muck- this is fun to upset the whole board, type....

....when a post is clearly meant to provoke- im not sure how you would handle that. behind the screen is a human.....

....online world is that way. here I am ranting. anyhow we have alot of good people here. :-)

i was hoping to bring awareness and get ideas, thank you pahunkboy for pointing that out. i am glad you mentioned something i think is crucial - "behind the screen is a human", all too often people forget this when they get caught up in the frenzy.

i do agree there are so many good people here who share their thoughts and ideas, it's why i come here

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 58

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 9:27:29 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

Why do people insist on saying one thing - then contradicting it in another breath?

quote:

It's good to know there are posters out there like yourself who think before they post and take responsibility for it.

quote:

My statement is simply my opinion, if you read into it more, that is your perogative.

Contradictions are rife in all people. People are a mass of contradictions That is what makes us all so very interesting.

quote:

You can ignore somethings only so long till you feel something should be said - if only to make others aware.

These threads come up all the time - it really isnt a new concept.

quote:

how you see it is up to you.

Indeed - thank you for repeating and upholding what I already stated. It's good to know some people are on the same wavelength occasionally...

quote:

i have had many emails about this thread thanking me and telling me it's about time someone spoke up about it.

Fantastic - another clique of like minded individuals forming - just what the forum needs.

Ah the irony!

.Pot.Kettle.Black. (I think thats my favourite saying today - geez, I wish this rain would stop so I could go outside and be constructive today...)

Peace and Rapture

< Message edited by darkinshadows -- 5/14/2007 9:28:40 AM >

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 59

RE: Constructive Ideas Needed - 5/14/2007 9:28:19 AM

Dauric

Posts: 254
Joined: 7/13/2006
Status: offline

... While I'm all for relativity in many areas of philospohical debate ("Einstein's not just for Physics anymore") especially perceptual relativity, darkinshadows, I think you're taking it perhaps a step too far.

There is a point where you can cross a line that is unacceptable to the community you are in. Now while one shouldn't go "vigilante" at any and every percieved slight, the are times when a vast majority of the posters in a thread are showing obvious irritation or downright outrage, that it is appropriate to -someone- to call one to task for their inflamatory behavior.

$0.02,

Dauric.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 60

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