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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/14/2007 12:37:48 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		I knew I was going to take a hit on that one lol...but hey I stand by my opinion.

I think that physical appearance factors into our thinking when it comes to mates on some level, whether small or large.

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/14/2007 1:00:27 PM   
fer0l


Posts: 23
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, perhaps Doormat was the wrong word to use.  Basically what I meant was a Dom that has no intention of getting intimate with a sub because she is just there to look after him and cater for his needs.

ugh, I'm just digging myself a deeper hole arnt I!?

(in reply to SirDominic)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/14/2007 1:08:08 PM   
slaveaurora


Posts: 157
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline 		yep, looks matter A LOT, despite what people say.     
 
I will be a lonely old spinster because I am about as ugly as a horse's petute. 

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/14/2007 1:32:44 PM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		There are a number of submissives who classify themselves strictly as service submissives, ie not interested in playing to any great extent, primarily interested in being of non-sexual service. i don't know the Dominant of which you are speaking, but maybe he or she is looking for a non-sexual service submissive.

heartfelt

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/14/2007 2:53:07 PM   
fer0l


Posts: 23
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		No, I'm pretty sure this Dom wants something more... and is starting to get very annoying - making demands over the internet.. I swear some people cannot read - I want r/l not the cyber crap.

Said Dom cannot seem to understand the concept that submission must be earned by a Dom either  =(

(in reply to heartfeltsub)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/14/2007 3:01:40 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Oh I'm sure he understands it just fine.  He probably also knows that there are a million and four ways to manipulate someone into working them up over him and getting what he wants otherwise.

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/19/2007 1:27:21 PM   
Lucius


Posts: 80
Joined: 6/13/2004
Status: offline 		 
Well let's see.

First, I have to say that appearance doesn't matter very much to Me. No matter what a woman's age, weight, or particulars of countenance complexion and coloring, if we are otherwise compatible I will probably find her sexually attractive. I don't think I ever, even once, turned a woman away because of how she looks.

Now, does that mean I don't find some women more visually attractive than others? No. I don't deny the visual impact of, say, kriss ziemer or gillian anderson. But it's just not that important. Also, I have found that people (men and women alike) are often surprised at what I do find beautiful, or who I would rank as more or less attractive.

But even judging purely by My own standards:

I've noticed that the women with whom I have had the most intensely pleasurable sexual experiences are not necessarily the great beauties. The women with whom I have had the hottest and most extreme experiences of Dominance and submission were not always those I would have rated as most visually appealing. And the women with whom I have had the most emotionally intimate and satisfying relationships were not always physically flawless.

If I were seeking women to put in cages and suspend from the ceiling just to look at, or hang on the wall as decorations, I'd care a lot more about what they look like. But that's not what I'm looking for (not that I wouldn't chain a woman to the wall, or find her beautiful if I did, but I want a lot more than that out of her.)

And I hope any woman that contacts Me would also want to be more to Me than just another pretty face.

Lucius Alexander

House of the Palindromedary

< Message edited by Lucius -- 5/19/2007 1:28:05 PM >

(in reply to fer0l)
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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/19/2007 2:45:53 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		Looks dont matter?  Thats Bull Shit.  Hell we live in a society that even makes it's food into Art. 
If someone tells me looks dont matter what I hear is "you'll do for now till something comes along that catches my eye, and if you've been really good I'll keep you around to do the laundry" 

In fact, a Dominant I know just told his 5'4 115 pound Sub who has gained 10 pound in the last year that if she get's Fat, she's gone.....  Yea right looks dont matter. 


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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/19/2007 2:59:16 PM   
tulipgoose


Posts: 112
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline 		Well that's your opinion, and you're certainly entitled to it as we all know....... ALL your looks prove is a random mixture of your parents DNA.... Think about it.... does that really matter? If it does to you, and anyone else... well, then that truly is your waste of time caring about it, because however the heck many years down the road you will be wrinkled up, and eventually rotting........ It may be bull shit in your idealistic little world for looks not to matter, but at the end of the day everyone who exists does in fact exist. Perfect, imperfect, ugly on the outside, ugly on the inside, beautiful on the outside, beautiful on the inside, and all random combinations of the above. I have seen just as many beautiful women with socially penned unattractive men, and the other way around as with beautiful or unattractive as they are. Yes, the majority of the people in North America and most places which can afford a luxurious lifestyle tend to desire "beautiful" people to relate with. They are shallow, they are greedy, they expect the best from a store as they expect the best from a mate, but remember, a "perfect mate" is just as ugly inside as that coorporation which is selling you the fancy whatever-the-fuck-that's-way-over-priced..... They don't care about YOU but what you GIVE them.... a better look, more product, more business....... Some people DO want Mom-And-Pop less is more, cozy country kitchen, touch me please rather than touch me not high end high priced shiney fancy shame to eat off of it plastic.

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/19/2007 3:24:09 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fer0l

See, when a Dom says that to me, I think ok, he just wants a Doormat, to do his washing, cooking etc.. and nothing else


Never mind that he may be a mature stable person looking for a life partner and not necessarily a trophy.

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If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/19/2007 3:28:26 PM   
slaveish


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Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucius
First, I have to say that appearance doesn't matter very much to Me. <snip> 


Well-stated post, Lucius. Sorry to snip all of it out. It was a pleasure to read, most pragmatic and sensible.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to Lucius)
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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/19/2007 3:45:38 PM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveish

quote:

ORIGINAL: fer0l

See, when a Dom says that to me, I think ok, he just wants a Doormat, to do his washing, cooking etc.. and nothing else


Never mind that he may be a mature stable person looking for a life partner and not necessarily a trophy.


Well said, slaveish.  He may actually have a head on his shoulders and not just one in his pants.



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Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

(in reply to slaveish)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/19/2007 5:50:07 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		Goose, you missed my point.
DNA is random and not always do two Pretty people make a pretty baby.
Genitics do not always produce what we think they should.
But the law of attraction is many faceted.  Looks being one of those facets. 
What I call attractive you may not, and vice versa. 
Age has nothing to do with looks.  What your speaking of is Youth in all it's glory. 
Wrinkles happen to us all, some wear them better then others and they do not make someone unattractive.  My little idealistic world as you call it I would guess to be alot like yours.  I try to do the best with what I have and put forth my best foot to be visiualy appealing.  It's something we all do as we exist in this world, and are judged by daily.  Are you telling us that you do not strive to make yourself all you can be?  Are you upset with your genitics?  Join the club sweety..... none of us are perfect, but someone may find us close to their perfection someday. 

If I am greedy by wanting to associate with someone I find attractive then I will gladly wear that badge.  But I stand by my point that if someone says "looks dont matter"
It is Bull Shit. 


Just signed me, Q the greedy



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The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/19/2007 6:03:33 PM   
tulipgoose


Posts: 112
Joined: 10/30/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

Goose, you missed my point.
DNA is random and not always do two Pretty people make a pretty baby.
Genitics do not always produce what we think they should.
But the law of attraction is many faceted.  Looks being one of those facets. 
What I call attractive you may not, and vice versa. 
Age has nothing to do with looks.  What your speaking of is Youth in all it's glory. 
Wrinkles happen to us all, some wear them better then others and they do not make someone unattractive.  My little idealistic world as you call it I would guess to be alot like yours.  I try to do the best with what I have and put forth my best foot to be visiualy appealing.  It's something we all do as we exist in this world, and are judged by daily.  Are you telling us that you do not strive to make yourself all you can be?  Are you upset with your genitics?  Join the club sweety..... none of us are perfect, but someone may find us close to their perfection someday. 

If I am greedy by wanting to associate with someone I find attractive then I will gladly wear that badge.  But I stand by my point that if someone says "looks dont matter"
It is Bull Shit. 


Just signed me, Q the greedy




You also missed my own point. I never said two pretty people make a pretty baby. Their DNA can hold a wide range of things. Of course. We should be attracted to a person not by how they look, but how they present themself. For example, a man with a bad leg who limps, and has a disfigured mouth from a cleft lip shouldn't be discounted because he isn't "attractive" physically. I would never EVER dismiss or be with someone based on how they look. On average, the "hot" guys I have seen, and gotten to know have been total assholes anyway. My point in discussing age was that, if it matters not what one looks like later on (since we, if good people, will stay with the one we love, no matter what they end up like, as none of us know what we will look like later) then why should it matter today or tomorrow? I and everyone else is perfect for someone, or a few even in some cases. My genetics are just that..... my own. Why would I be ashamed of them? Why would I feel bad? Looks mean nothing, again, but a RANDOM mixture of two people's DNA.

< Message edited by tulipgoose -- 5/19/2007 6:04:17 PM >

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/19/2007 6:12:32 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: empresschaos

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

quote:

ORIGINAL: empresschaos

Oh, pish tosh. How many of you want to get down with someone who has three crooked teeth, leathery wrinkly skin, weighs 85 lbs. (or 685 lbs., pick your ick), and has unsightly body hair. And a lazy eye.

Of course looks are stinking important. Hopefully you wouldn't date a crazy, psychotic bombshell over a pudgy, plain jane mensa girl, but it's going to figure in there somehow or another.


Maybe to you, don't speak for me. 


I wasn't trying to. Sorry if it came off that way... but really, you've never seen anyone so repulsively unattractive to you that you simply couldn't be persuaded to kiss them goodnight? I'm not doubting you, I'm just genuinely intrigued.

Man.... there's the mole lady on the bus (and I mean she is COVERED) , the chick with cataracts at the mini mart who I can't even look at, there's Little Miss Tanning Bed (who is 50 going on 204... she looks like beef jerky and her eyes are always bloodshot) and then there are the Toothless Ones with the level-three-sex-offender glasses *shudder* Maybe I just don't like to think of myself as vain, but I'm telling you, I have seen some untouchables in my time! *grin*


and none of these people deserve love or care because of their physical make up?  I bet someone cares for and loves these people.  (I'll give you the tanner...since she did that to herself....on purpose no less...which makes me ponder her intelligence so I wouldn't bother.)

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Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/19/2007 6:19:53 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
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While in the Airport this past week my head turned as a beautiful woman passed. 
As I took a closer look I noticed the scar on her upper lip.  Just as you said, she had the misfortune of being born with a cleft lip.  It didnt effect her beauty at all, she was all Class.  But, had that woman not polished herself by grooming, dressing to flatter and presented herself in a manner that said her self esteem was low there is a very good possibility she may not have posed such an attractive picture.  Looks for her mattered and it showed in the care she took with herself. 

What I feel you missed is attraction is in the eyes of the beholder. 
And we all try to attract what pleases our eyes.

As far as falling in love with a good person and accepting them wrinkles and all in 10-20-30 years later, it's the life between that fucks that up and has little to do with the outside of that book.  Shit Happens.





_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/19/2007 6:20:29 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: fer0l

Yes, perhaps Doormat was the wrong word to use.  Basically what I meant was a Dom that has no intention of getting intimate with a sub because she is just there to look after him and cater for his needs.

ugh, I'm just digging myself a deeper hole arnt I!?


well at least you realize it now....soooo the ugly ones are ok to make work no strings attached and the hot ones I should fuck?  what do I do with the medium ones?  sheesh!

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D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/19/2007 6:22:51 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

Looks dont matter?  Thats Bull Shit.  Hell we live in a society that even makes it's food into Art. 
If someone tells me looks dont matter what I hear is "you'll do for now till something comes along that catches my eye, and if you've been really good I'll keep you around to do the laundry" 

In fact, a Dominant I know just told his 5'4 115 pound Sub who has gained 10 pound in the last year that if she get's Fat, she's gone.....  Yea right looks dont matter. 



so one guy you know does one terrible thing and now EVERYONE is the same?  Yea right.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/19/2007 6:25:24 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver


While in the Airport this past week my head turned as a beautiful woman passed. 
As I took a closer look I noticed the scar on her upper lip.  Just as you said, she had the misfortune of being born with a cleft lip.  It didnt effect her beauty at all, she was all Class.  But, had that woman not polished herself by grooming, dressing to flatter and presented herself in a manner that said her self esteem was low there is a very good possibility she may not have posed such an attractive picture.  Looks for her mattered and it showed in the care she took with herself. 

What I feel you missed is attraction is in the eyes of the beholder. 
And we all try to attract what pleases our eyes.

As far as falling in love with a good person and accepting them wrinkles and all in 10-20-30 years later, it's the life between that fucks that up and has little to do with the outside of that book.  Shit Happens.






upkeep and genetical make up are apples and oranges.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/19/2007 6:27:45 PM   
tulipgoose


Posts: 112
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

upkeep and genetical make up are apples and oranges.

Exactly.


Edited to insert the quote... I messed that up. :)

< Message edited by tulipgoose -- 5/19/2007 6:29:36 PM >

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