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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/19/2007 6:32:28 PM

Quivver

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One Guy? Maybe this is food for a new post in the ask the Submissive boards.
I'm sure there are many who have experianced this.
But to be fair, we here on the boards preach to a choir that know the words and sing along even if at times in a different note. What I believe happens that causes this is a lack of communication and a difference of perspective. What I/we call Dominant may only be a Kinky Top, just as a Submissive may only be a Bottom.

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple
so one guy you know does one terrible thing and now EVERYONE is the same? Yea right.

So your saying that no matter how much up keep is done, Ugly is Ugly and always will be?

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple
upkeep and genetical make up are apples and oranges.

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/19/2007 7:03:06 PM

slaveish

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quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

soooo the ugly ones are ok to make work no strings attached and the hot ones I should fuck? what do I do with the medium ones?

Wrestle?

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/20/2007 8:13:31 AM

earthycouple

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

So your saying that no matter how much up keep is done, Ugly is Ugly and always will be?

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple
upkeep and genetical make up are apples and oranges.

NO I'm saying that people who chose to wear dirty clothes, not bathe, and never comb their hair is a personal choice. People who have moles on their bodies are born that way. I would date someone with moles but not someone who chooses not to bathe.

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/20/2007 8:14:40 AM

earthycouple

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

One Guy? Maybe this is food for a new post in the ask the Submissive boards.
I'm sure there are many who have experianced this.
But to be fair, we here on the boards preach to a choir that know the words and sing along even if at times in a different note. What I believe happens that causes this is a lack of communication and a difference of perspective. What I/we call Dominant may only be a Kinky Top, just as a Submissive may only be a Bottom.

What does this have to do with looks?

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/20/2007 10:05:28 AM

tobetrned

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I know for me physical/looks is what attracts me to a man. But what truly matters is what is the on the inside that really counts. If one is only draw to a person because of his/her looks what happens once the aging process starts to kick in?

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/20/2007 11:32:25 AM

RandomGAGirl

Posts: 57
Joined: 3/16/2006
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"looks aren't important" means different things for different people. As mentioned it could just refer to the fact that the Dom will consider all races, shapes and sizes BUT there are those who really don't have any physical 'standard'. There are those who are born predators who want someone they think is insecure physically/emotionally so that they can convince the person that they will never do better than their current Dom. At the same time there are those who understand that a great personality, compatible tastes, and more can make someone absolutely irresistble.

The only way to know what that statement means to the Master/Mistress in question is to talk to them and/or respectful ask. It's generally easy to tell what they are looking for/mean after chatting a bit.

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/20/2007 11:37:53 AM

MistressDoMe

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I hope this does not turn into another fat thread.
Lately, I see so many threads here on CM that are based on physical
attributes and appearance.
We seem to be very focused on vanilla qualities, which always
amuses me.

< Message edited by MistressDoMe -- 5/20/2007 11:39:37 AM >

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/20/2007 11:47:22 AM

addicted2it

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDoMe

I hope this does not turn into another fat thread.
Lately, I see so many threads here on CM that are based on physical
attributes and appearance.
We seem to be very focused on vanilla qualities, which always
amuses me.

MistressDoMe, do you really believe that all of us are 100% scene oriented? Don't you think that there might be some remnants of the vanilla world still in our brains, or has it all been vacuumed out?

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Edited because I can.

< Message edited by addicted2it -- 5/20/2007 11:51:41 AM >

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/20/2007 4:51:15 PM

Indemnis

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Though I do think my D is very attractive, it barely registers on the list of things I love about him. I know the OP was talking about Dom's looking at subs, but I figured I would add my own 2 cents..
Looks to me really don't matter. If I am attracted to someone, mentally and emotionally, chances are the way they appear.. heavy, slim, old, young, short, tall, really won't make it on my radar. Now if they smell bad, or have hideous lumps or something, I'm going to be turned off.. lol.. but for the most part, I can find beauty in anyone if their minds and personality attract me.

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/20/2007 4:56:24 PM

MadRabbit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDoMe

We seem to be very focused on vanilla qualities, which always
amuses me.

Statements like that really amuse me.

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/20/2007 6:25:07 PM

MasterNathan313

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I will take that as a complement...

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/20/2007 6:50:17 PM

pinksugarsub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fer0l

What does it mean when a Dom says that looks are not important, it is their willingness to submit?

Surely there has to be some sort of attraction between two people?

Or is the Dom looking for a Doormat?

i always read the recitation "age, weight, race, etc. not relevant" to mean that the Doms are not restricting Their search to a barbie-doll type, but i would assume They still want to feel attracted to a woman They consider.

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/21/2007 2:39:45 AM

NYMaster101

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We all have some preferences, but I never chose a sub on the basis of her looks. There is much more to any relationship than that.

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RE: Does appearance matter? - 5/21/2007 4:39:03 AM

lytehaze

Posts: 32
Joined: 10/3/2006
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(my first post, be gentle)
It feels like the two sides are looking from both ends of the same attractiveness spectrum. The “looks don’t matter” side seems to say: limiting yourself to what you consider physical perfection is too restrictive and eliminates the bulk of the love deserving mildly to un-offensively attractive population. The “looks have to matter” side seems to be saying: opening yourself to what you consider physically repugnant is too undiscerning. I don’t think the two sides are in conflict. You can’t make looks too important or the pool of possibility is too small and you as a person are too closed to find the beauty in most people. However, you can’t say looks mean nothing because it leaves you open to every anomaly, every amalgamation of “person” physically possible. And any criterion at some point can become too much of a detriment to consider a relationship plausible. In this specific case: when are looks so distasteful they negate a submissive heart. And I do believe there is a cutoff. Submissive nature just doesn’t compensate for what’s perceived as a serious deficiency. To me, Doms who say “looks don’t matter” are saying I will go beyond my cutoff of aesthetic acceptability and that is suspicious to me. Why would one say to a prospective sub “It doesn’t matter if I think you’re hideous.” I too think ulterior motives are in play. But that’s just my opinion. Feel free to disreguard.

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