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inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 9:51:43 AM

MasterC70

Posts: 68
Joined: 1/31/2007
Status: offline

I don't know if this is an old topic or not, but it's one that I feel needs addressing. Inconsistancy. Today I wrote an e-mail to a young slave (newly joined yesterday) and the only result I got was having it deleted by her unread. What gives? She was inconsistant in what she was looking for (mentioned poly one place, a Master or Mistress to train her in another), has almost none of her profile filled out (aside from a few vital stats), and then just deletes without even bothering to read it. It's not the first time I've noted such behaviour from some here either. I imagine some is from having settings that send some e-mails to bulk, but for the sake of courtesy shouldn't they have some guidelines visible as to which e-mails they will and won't accept? I mean if you aren't looking for anyone over 30 say, is it really that hard to write that in the profile rather than just setting the mail to send over 30's to bulk for later delete? I am not a mind reader, so can't know what others are seeking if they don't state it in their profile. Why is it that people fail to fill out their profile properly, then when someone contacts them, they just delete it without a thought? To me that seems very rude. I know it probably won't do any good to vent, (some will probably accuse me of whining) but I think I have a good point. I think that even a stranger deserves that little bit of respect that comes with not being deleted out of hand without even a look.

Post #: 1

RE: inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 9:55:59 AM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Here we go again.

I realize that you view yourself as a dominant and perhaps to you, that means that every woman who is submissive owes you something, even if they do not know you.

They do not. No one owes you anything. Not respect, not courtesy, not time.

If you are so banged out of shape that some young chick you never met before is not interested in reading your emails, you might need to reconsider how capable you are of controlling another person.

Learn to control yourself first.

(Man, am I a grouch today or what?)

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

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(in reply to MasterC70)

Post #: 2

RE: inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 10:01:29 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

Here we go again.

I realize that you view yourself as a dominant and perhaps to you, that means that every woman who is submissive owes you something, even if they do not know you.

They do not. No one owes you anything. Not respect, not courtesy, not time.

If you are so banged out of shape that some young chick you never met before is not interested in reading your emails, you might need to reconsider how capable you are of controlling another person.

Learn to control yourself first.

(Man, am I a grouch today or what?)

You know, the truth is harsh sometimes, but from past experience with threads like this, I am doubtful even the harsh terms you couched it in will sink in. Grouchy or not you are spot on

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 3

RE: inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 10:03:26 AM

imthatacheyouhav

Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

May i ask why you sent an E-mail in the 1st place? Its clear you didnt LIKE the profile. As for owing you a reply, no she doesn't, as puella so aptly stated.

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 4

RE: inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 10:05:52 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

If you had any idea how many unsolicited emails, submissives get even when they specifically say in his/her profile, that he or she is not looking. That is the whole reason that the bulk mail features are there, because many don't read or respect a submissive's stated "request" to not be emailed.

It is not rude to not want emails from total strangers, no one is owed a response. Get over it.

heartfelt

(in reply to MasterC70)

Post #: 5

RE: inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 10:07:16 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Why do so many doms get worked up about subs they've already decided aren't good matches?

And the sense of entitlement and blame does get old after awhile (awhile being years ago).

Not to mention this is strikingly different from the attitude you held two months ago when you posted this:
I had one slave (a while back) express interest then send me a "dear john letter" a few weeks later saying she decided not to follow the lifestyle (though oddly she is still on site). Still I chalk it up to being her loss (not that I'm God's gift to women or anything). After all if a sub/slave treats the other person like that early on should you care to want to be with him/her? he/she obviously wasn't the right one anyway as not everyone is compatible with everyone else. I think there is someone for everyone. It's just a matter of finding the right one, and life is rarely simple enough to give you a detailed map.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 5/15/2007 10:08:27 AM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 6

RE: inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 10:09:13 AM

justplainjava

Posts: 173
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline

Greetings
i know i am going to get in to trouble for this but just on the title alone,
the title stated inconstistant and rude slave/subs, i hate to say this but that is a diffent two way road, for there are just as many Master/dom who can wear that same title, you talk to them, as a slave you are respectful to the dom, but at times they dont even know what they want, so one should be careful about what kettle they are calling black
take care and be safe
plain old java

(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)

Post #: 7

RE: inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 10:17:21 AM

Kitte9

Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

Don't let it bother you so much. If she was that rude, I wouldn't want to talk to her. She might've saved you a lot of trouble.

_____________________________

I am stronger than yesterday

(in reply to MasterC70)

Post #: 8

RE: inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 10:18:05 AM

PrincessEllie

Posts: 287
Joined: 11/30/2006
Status: offline

Gawd, it seems like one of these topics pops up once a day.

What Puella said is absolutely correct. My opinion and her's are the same.

_____________________________

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May break my bones
But whips and chains excite me
So tie me up
Or hold me down
And bite me baby, bite me!

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--Discreet BDSM day clothes--

(in reply to justplainjava)

Post #: 9

RE: inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 10:19:01 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterC70

I don't know if this is an old topic or not, but it's one that I feel needs addressing. Inconsistancy. Today I wrote an e-mail to a young slave (newly joined yesterday) and the only result I got was having it deleted by her unread. What gives?

She probably didn't feel like reading it. Her perogative.

quote:

She was inconsistant in what she was looking for (mentioned poly one place, a Master or Mistress to train her in another)

Both are poly. Poly is defined as:

Main Entry:
polyamorous

Part of Speech:
adj

Definition:
pertaining to partipation in multiple and simultaneous loving or sexual relationships

So, that's not inconsistent.

quote:

has almost none of her profile filled out (aside from a few vital stats)

Because, by golly, we all should have everything decided the moment we get here.

The reality is that she's probably testing the waters, which is normal, especially when we're young.

quote:

and then just deletes without even bothering to read it.

Yup, because we're not obligated to read everything that comes into our mailboxes. The same way I don't have to read every piece of paper that gets stuck on my doorstep.

quote:

It's not the first time I've noted such behaviour from some here either. I imagine some is from having settings that send some e-mails to bulk, but for the sake of courtesy shouldn't they have some guidelines visible as to which e-mails they will and won't accept? I mean if you aren't looking for anyone over 30 say, is it really that hard to write that in the profile rather than just setting the mail to send over 30's to bulk for later delete? I am not a mind reader, so can't know what others are seeking if they don't state it in their profile. Why is it that people fail to fill out their profile properly, then when someone contacts them, they just delete it without a thought? To me that seems very rude. I know it probably won't do any good to vent, (some will probably accuse me of whining) but I think I have a good point. I think that even a stranger deserves that little bit of respect that comes with not being deleted out of hand without even a look.

Respect is earned. You're confusing that with courtesy. Just because someone didn't read your email, doesn't mean that they didn't read your profile and decided to move on.

She's young and new to the site.....I'm guessing she's getting hundreds of emails a day. You're trying to decide how she spends her time. You don't get to do that.

And yes....you're whining.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to MasterC70)

Post #: 10

RE: inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 10:19:41 AM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

In a forum such as this, the interweb, strangers don't deserve, and should not expect Anything from me. Nor do I expect anything from them. For every complaint like this, there are just as many from submissives about jackass dominants who can't respect them enough to not email something like "on ur neez bi@tch" Or some such thing.

Heck, I'm guily of complaining about those particular brands of dom/mes oh, and about subs that can't take no for an answer for that matter. But I've come to realize that strangers deserve little if nothing and should expect little to nothing from others on the internet.

Now, in person? That is a whole other can 'o worms. If someone comes up to me and starts hitting on me, I give them a polite "Thank you, but I'm engaged" and remove my attention from them. If they are persistant, they have crossed a line and I will still be as nice as I can, I will smile and excuse myself from their conversation and go back to whatever it was that I was doing or whatever friend I was speaking to.

But that is just me. I see no reason to be mean unless properly provoked. If they continue and come around with a bad attitude, I will put my foot down and get angry if I feel the need. I give others a common courtesy and polite exactness in my intentions.

They get this because they are right there in front of me.

If it's here on CM, I thank them still for compliments and explain my position and if they get rude, they get politely told off, but still told off. If they still continue and turn ugly, then I will either engage them as a troll and have a little fun getting their panties in a bunch or I get bored and block them.

I don't feel the need or some sort of moral obligation to respond to every single person that contacts me on this site. Why should I? I have no obligations to them, I do not know them, and I do not owe them anything. I reserve my time for those that are my friends, and those that perhaps intrigue me or actually show some shred of dignity and respect and talk to me as a human and not a piece of meat, and those who recognize my relationship and respect it.

Sometimes I just do not have the time or energy to respond to every email I get. Most of the time, those that are relatively nice in their emails will just get a simple thank you for their kind words and I will leave it at that. I don't feel obligated to strike up conversations with every stranger that approaches me. Nor do I feel that I should be expected to. I don't expect it from other people.

< Message edited by Aine -- 5/15/2007 10:25:05 AM >

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)

Post #: 11

RE: inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 10:23:52 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

You have posted simuliarly before so yes this is an old topic and you yourself have already addressed it: http://www.collarchat.com/m_812542/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to MasterC70)

Post #: 12

RE: inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 10:26:34 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

No response = no interest
deleted without being read = extreme no interest

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to MasterC70)

Post #: 13

RE: inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 10:29:56 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

I am proposing that CM put in a new feature that when someone feels that they have been wronged that once every six months you would be able to send a lethal shock to the person that offended you.

_____________________________

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 14

RE: inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 10:36:11 AM

imthatacheyouhav

Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I am proposing that CM put in a new feature that when someone feels that they have been wronged that once every six months you would be able to send a lethal shock to the person that offended you.

LMAO...love it

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 15

RE: inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 10:38:42 AM

m0rgan

Posts: 403
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline

what i do, all the time, is hide from view all the rude fuckers!

hello, hello?? is there anybody there?

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download this, the girls voice will make you damp--->

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a loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou,
beside me, in the wilderness, were paradise enough!

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 16

RE: inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 10:41:43 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

You have posted simuliarly before so yes this is an old topic and you yourself have already addressed it: http://www.collarchat.com/m_812542/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm

Busted!

But realistically - she decided for whatever reason she wasn't interested in you. Move along. Nothing to see here.

Incidentally, one can be poly AND looking for a Master/Mistress. It just means that the domly one isn't the only person they want to fuck. :-) Hope that cleared it up for you.

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 5/15/2007 10:45:00 AM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 17

RE: inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 10:47:08 AM

HutchGarahl

Posts: 562
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline

Number 1, and above all...respect is earned....not given.

Number 2, noone owes anyone a response to anything unless they are collered, and then only to their master or mistress.

Number 3, if she deleted without reading, she's not interested. Big deal.

And number 4, if a profile like that really bothers you....don't respond to begin with.

Plain and simple.

(in reply to MasterC70)

Post #: 18

RE: inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 10:50:58 AM

justplainjava

Posts: 173
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline

Hello domiguy
i have to admit i agree with you or somehow put a skull and cross bones to warns others to stay away for some people are just posion
take care and be safe
java

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 19

RE: inconsistant and rude subs/slaves - 5/15/2007 10:51:39 AM

KeirasSecret

Posts: 415
Joined: 8/17/2006
From: central NH
Status: offline

*scratches head* Hmmmmm, while I almost see your point, because I consider my profile an ad to find friends, and almost always respond, unless I am lost on how to address what was said, I have to say, if I contact someone and they don’t respond, read or unread; what I sent out was free of charge; they owed me nothing. Wouldn’t that be like… COD?

Maybe this is because these people are individuals looking for personal relationships, whether it be friends or more, and not companies I have business with.

k

(in reply to MasterC70)

Post #: 20

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