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RE: Slave behavior that irritates - 5/19/2007 9:21:15 AM

slaveish

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Joined: 2/19/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: shyinini

How do I feel about this? When the moment comes I have a feeling I will be very angry with her for being so foolish and she will see how I take my discipline...the brush is NOT fun for my ass nor for my mind frame, nor for my emotions. I hope she learns her lesson well.

This girl is not of your house or of your family. You are taking the punishment for a relative stranger's transgressions - there is no bond between the two of you so it is likely to have very little effect, unless she finds it within herself to be completely humiliated for a stranger to receive her punishment.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to shyinini)

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RE: Slave behavior that irritates - 5/19/2007 12:15:25 PM

PeggyO

Posts: 129
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: robertolapiedra

With modern communications, what we call japanese or western styles have becomed more historical 'references' than true factual contemporary practices. Today you will not find those practices as most of them have becomed illegal (because of the 'abuse' component). Of course there are 'honorable 21th century adaptations' but unfortunately, less honorable ones also (where mental health issues arise).

The extreme examples? It is simply using the "don't say no, if you do? the relationship is terminated! (precept)" selected 'aspect' and combining this with some false perception of western humiliation fantasies. They blur the line between the 'public exhibition kink' (which is very prevalent in some sex sites) and the 'real' humiliating public exhibition of a submissive who fears dismissal if she does not comply. (running to the letter box naked example)

Bullshit is universal. The japanese have 'masters' in that field as well. I find some people should beware of 'exotic' variants of M/s as 'some' of these may not all comply to the safe, sane and consensual principals. Even if there is no sex involved.

There are traditional relationships in which non compliance to a principle will terminate things on the spot. Take infidelity in a traditional mariage for example. Some D/s apply this to commitment. Some D/s use this as a 'tool'.

Whatever works for you, but one should always think of safety first, physical and mental.

Respectfuly, RL.

Hello,

The fact is that *any* relationship, regardless of its "style" can be unhealthy. I have been in unhealthy vanilla relationships. My relationship with my Teacher, while seemingly harsh to some in its style and standards, is no different than what an uchideshi might experience training in a traditional Japanese martial arts dojo. It is not suited for everyone. Some people would find it harmful to their mental well being. But that's not unique to this style. I personally wouldn't thrive in a Gorean environment. The important part is to know what you're getting into before you go down that road. If you're blinded by love or passion, you're more likely to enter a situation that doesn't fit you well.

Someone is going to have to tell me what the "safe, sane and consensual principals" are, though. All three of those terms are really subjective and there is no defined standard for them that I am aware of.

Take care,

Peggy

(in reply to robertolapiedra)

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RE: Slave behavior that irritates - 5/20/2007 12:05:14 AM

robertolapiedra

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Joined: 5/3/2007
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[/quote]

Hello,

The fact is that *any* relationship, regardless of its "style" can be unhealthy. I have been in unhealthy vanilla relationships. My relationship with my Teacher, while seemingly harsh to some in its style and standards, is no different than what an uchideshi might experience training in a traditional Japanese martial arts dojo. It is not suited for everyone. Some people would find it harmful to their mental well being. But that's not unique to this style. I personally wouldn't thrive in a Gorean environment. The important part is to know what you're getting into before you go down that road. If you're blinded by love or passion, you're more likely to enter a situation that doesn't fit you well.

Someone is going to have to tell me what the "safe, sane and consensual principals" are, though. All three of those terms are really subjective and there is no defined standard for them that I am aware of.

Take care,

Peggy
[/quote]
__________________________________________________________________

We agree. The "safe, sane, and consensual" when applied to martial arts would be this:

1- Student: Evaluation of natural ability, physical condition, level of experience (white belt for neophytes), mental state and motivation . Master (Sensei): Evaluation of style, competence, experience, hability to teach, guide and protect from injury. That would be the sane part.

2-Student: Will tell Master of his mental and physical state at all times when suffering from injury or illness however minor it may seem. Master: Upon recieving information or detecting a weaken state will 'adapt' training or cancel if there is a risk of injury. That would be the safe part.

3-A clear understanding of what mutual expectations can be had 'before' starting martial Art and, agreeing to the 'manner' in which the the training will proceed in a safe and sane way would be the consensual part. (contract, commitment.)

Theses principles can be applied to ANY relationship. It is just common sense honest respect.

As for 'roughing' it with the Gorean? I'm not that tough either. I expect "gou ni itte wa, gou ni shitagae" would apply?... I guess, and you? (I hope I did not screw up with the phonetics!)

I wish you succes in your House. RL.

Edit: screwing around with the japanese text!

< Message edited by robertolapiedra -- 5/20/2007 12:09:42 AM >

(in reply to PeggyO)

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RE: Slave behavior that irritates - 5/28/2007 1:01:14 PM

gothique

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Joined: 10/9/2004
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Thanks to one and all for all the answers. I gained valuable insight from each and every one.
Please forgive me for not posting my thanks earlier. I've been caught up in tasks about the house, work and lately an injury.
Again, thank you all for taking time to respond.
~g

(in reply to aldompdx)

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RE: Slave behavior that irritates - 5/28/2007 1:51:36 PM

rollinonward05

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Joined: 9/11/2005
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I don't know about this female slave but when i go against something Master expects of me i hate to see his disappointment in me, that hurts more than a dressing down or punishment can .imo And many times i can't find words to describe how i am feeling either. So this is nothing abnormal but something that should be understood by the Master.
rollin

(in reply to gothique)

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Post #: 85