Submission & Romanticizing (Full Version)

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lighthearted -> Submission & Romanticizing (5/16/2007 9:45:26 PM)

maybe it's just the cranky mood I'm in, but while browsing profiles this evening I came across a number of submissive profiles that were so florid it was just plain annoying.  it made me wonder who they were trying to fool, themselves or someone else. 

I also realized that I am the first to romanticize any situation, especially in my personal life.  I have romanticized being a submissive in my mind many times in the past, as much as I know that the reality of belonging to someone means it can be smelly, tiresome, sweaty (in a bad way) and unpleasant...is it just human nature to forget the unpleasant realities when they aren't right in front of our faces?  or is it because we want to take something that is a basic need and lift it up as an ideal, worthy of prose?

thoughts, anyone?  




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/16/2007 9:47:05 PM)

Frenzy

Life always knocks reality into them.

How they deal with it then is up to them.




SimplyMichael -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/16/2007 9:51:22 PM)

I am very much a hopeless romantic but florid profiles make me run for the hills.




rmanrr -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/16/2007 9:59:06 PM)

greetings..
florid reminds Me of that flushed face appearance.....just speak plainly...openly...nothing else is required.




themischievous1 -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/16/2007 10:02:30 PM)

Your post kind of cracks me up, as in amuses me in a wry sort of way, and that's a good thing. I can use a little amusement after what I've been through. I'm not trying to offend either; I think your post is fitting and certainly accurate, at least in my particular situation.

I very recently changed my ID to "switch" because of what you've written here (though I detest the labeling of everyone that goes on):

quote:

  I have romanticized being a submissive in my mind many times in the past, as much as I know that the reality of belonging to someone means it can be smelly, tiresome, sweaty (in a bad way) and unpleasant...is it just human nature to forget the unpleasant realities when they aren't right in front of our faces? 


For me, the unpleasant realities were that he didn't bathe, (try once a week), he wouldn't work, he had anger issues (as in was abusive), completely avoided communication, calling everything I said and thought "bitching," and smelly was putting it lightly since he soon began to chain smoke. Add that to the not bathing and I think you get the picture. Needless to say, I bailed.

Naw..there was nothing romantic about being a submissive whatsoever and it succeeded in turning me off to submission so thoroughly that I'm not sure I'll desire to experience that state of being again for quite some time.




juliaoceania -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/16/2007 10:07:32 PM)

quote:

For me, the unpleasant realities were that he didn't bathe, (try once a week), he wouldn't work, he had anger issues (as in was abusive), completely avoided communication, calling everything I said and thought "bitching," and smelly was putting it lightly since he soon began to chain smoke. Add that to the not bathing and I think you get the picture. Needless to say, I bailed.

Naw..there was nothing romantic about being a submissive whatsoever and it succeeded in turning me off to submission so thoroughly that I'm not sure I'll desire to experience that state of being again for quite some time.


How unfortunate for you that it worked that way in your relationship

Perhaps if you tried again and tried to discover if the person had a history of sloven behavior it would work better. Who wants a stinky lazy dominant?




WhiplashSmile -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/16/2007 10:22:39 PM)

I think most people romanticize or glamorize many things in life.  Everything tends to come with a Good and a Bad price tag.

Now, there are certain aspects of my past relationships I have romanticized and have come to dearly embrace.  There are things I have romantic dreams about for my future.  However, I'm also aware of the Nightmare aspects too...  Call this a an ideal romanticized version of heaven and hell.  A deeper understand and appreciation for the not so good things. 

I tend to be an incurable romantic at heart.  I think many people get burned out on romantic notions in time, and give up on their dreams.  While it's impossiable to 100% reach your romantic ideals... if you obtain 75% or hell even 50% of your dreams and desires you are better off.   Too many people shit can their dreams and romantic notions, give up on what they want in life, only to find themselves older, bitter, jaded and cynical of the world around them.  

We all need something to believe in, something to strive for in our lives, something that drives and motivates us.  Some Hope, Some Dream, some vision of our future and what we want out of life.   Without these things we are simply passing time in the waiting room of funeral home waiting for our time to be up.




ICGsteve -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/16/2007 10:58:36 PM)

I think romantic ideals and fantasizing are fine so long as one can keep it in perspective. Once Romance gets in the way of perception and honesty then it is a problem.




Masque66 -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/16/2007 11:16:29 PM)

It's not too surprising that they do.  It has a glamour to it much as any kink does.  It takes some time before reality sets in and they either sink or swim.  Oh, and don't let that turn you off to all doms.  There's as many dumbass doms as there are subs I'd wager.




PrincessEllie -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/17/2007 6:29:43 AM)

There are as many florid sub profles as there are Dom ones. I've seen more than a few that made me giggle because they were so completely over the top.

I always tried to keep my profile short, to the point, and down to earth. None of that yucky romance novel crap [where everyone's shirt is falling off and the swords are always from the wrong century!]




dawntreader -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/17/2007 6:41:56 AM)

lighthearted,
 
i certainly agree with those profiles that read like a scene out of a romance novel! LOL! my favorites are the ones that promise the submissive to take to "never before experienced heights of pleasure and passion". i have actually "played" with someone like that - reality is always the equalizer :-)
 
But i am a romantic at heart and i do believe there are romantic D/s relationships out there. Fortunately for me, my idea of romance does not read like a Daniel Steel novel! i wouldn't mind a little action like Anne Rice's Beauty Trilogy though :-)




dawntreader -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/17/2007 6:43:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessEllie

[where everyone's shirt is falling off and the swords are always from the wrong century!]



Hehehe!!![sm=biggrin.gif]So true!!!!




KatyLied -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/17/2007 6:44:34 AM)

Some of the things I find amusing are the adjectives used by some men to describe the lifestyle.  Some that I've noticed include:  "lovely lifestyle", "our beloved lifestyle", "I am a dominant of romantics".  I'm not sure what they are trying to communicate.  Are they trying to convince me of their romantic nature? 




dawntreader -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/17/2007 6:46:29 AM)

Not to judge too harshly, but those make me think more that they are vanilla looking for bigger fishing grounds~




KatyLied -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/17/2007 6:49:49 AM)

Yes, exactly.  There something not-quite-right with a dominant who seems too romantic.  Not that there's anything wrong with dinners and flowers, but some of these guys are trying too hard.




sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/17/2007 7:05:32 AM)

The sub frenzy thing makes them a little blind. Reality will set in hopefully at some point. I am very blunt and to the point so those type of profiles do make me nauseas. Actually alot must buy into it because they are still here. [:D]




imthatacheyouhav -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/17/2007 7:14:14 AM)

It was a bright summer day...the sweet soft breeze was blowing gently over our naked bodies as Master had just finished a good flogging session....OH!!...i'm sorry what was the topic?......LMAO...(sorry i just couldn't resist...)




WhiplashSmile -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/17/2007 7:19:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Yes, exactly.  There something not-quite-right with a dominant who seems too romantic.  Not that there's anything wrong with dinners and flowers, but some of these guys are trying too hard.

Now would something like this be too Romantic in your book?
How about holding a long stem rose between your teeth without breaking, while being bound and ravanged in some assuming position, the oil cover your body glistens in the dark candle lit room.. Ohh.. the sounds of a flogger cracking down while classical music plays in the background... slowly the milky whiteness of your skin slowly begins to turn blush red with each stroke.  Then after a bit, I stop... remove the rose from between your teeth.. and feed you chineese take out with a pair of chop sticks.  

OH Hell with it, forget the romance.. perhaps I'd just simply pillage ya like the proper domly caveman that I am after you bought into my romantic line of BS  LOL.... 




KatyLied -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/17/2007 7:21:21 AM)

Damn, I sort of liked the part where you fed me Chinese with chop sticks.  Shhhhh....don't tell anyone I said that.    [;)]




mistoferin -> RE: Submission & Romanticizing (5/17/2007 7:30:36 AM)

Yup....some profiles remind me of Massengill douche commercials....fields of flowers....breezes blowing soft cotton ankle length skirts....white sand beaches with waves licking at your feet....

You buy into it and get them home and realize they all still smell like vinegar.




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