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What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/19/2007 11:37:15 PM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		If you are not collared, what kind of personality/traits are you looking for? If you are collared, what attracted you to your Dom/me?

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RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/19/2007 11:49:18 PM   
mystiquenz


Posts: 330
Joined: 8/13/2004
Status: offline 		what a delightful question ....

this one  looks for honesty, integrity, well groundness, and strength.

i look for the same values that i would seek in a vanilla relationship with the twist of lifestyle on top.  The twist of being a dominant is whether his form of dominance is compatible to my idea of surrender and submissiion, whether his kinks are compatible to mine, whether there would be an ongoing respect. 

*indeed i will enjoy to see what others contribute* ...


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blessings
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RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/19/2007 11:57:00 PM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings mys,

well said, sweet sister.  fairer agrees with you and would add that a great sense of humor is one key ingredient she seeks.  Just like in a nilla relationship, a sense of compatability that will make even those rainy, not so kinky days seem special.

well wishes,

fairer


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RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/20/2007 12:00:11 AM   
bratboyNY


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		I'm looking for someone who's willing to teach but also strict and knows what she wants from me.

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RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/20/2007 12:03:23 AM   
mystiquenz


Posts: 330
Joined: 8/13/2004
Status: offline 		greetings fairer, ,

thank you sister, but indeed, a fine sense of humour should have been included together with an appetite for an intelligent conversation, that should have been on mystique's list. 

*winks at her sister*

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blessings
~mystique~

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RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/20/2007 12:06:14 AM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings mys,

Together we might build the perfect Master! lol

well wishes,

fairer


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The Nuclear Bomb of Awesome, rockin' the MoFo Hawk, still a bad-ass with a bouncy attitude, and spreading joy as a predator in Hello Kitty panties

Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

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RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/20/2007 12:14:22 AM   
mystiquenz


Posts: 330
Joined: 8/13/2004
Status: offline 		looks at fairer and winks,
well quite possibly, but then, would mystique or would fairer share?



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RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/20/2007 12:17:11 AM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings mys,

Nothing wrong with chain sisters....

winks ~ fairer


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The Nuclear Bomb of Awesome, rockin' the MoFo Hawk, still a bad-ass with a bouncy attitude, and spreading joy as a predator in Hello Kitty panties

Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

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RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/20/2007 12:34:14 AM   
RandomGAGirl


Posts: 57
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Hmm.. I mainly look for honesty because trust in a D/s relationship is a must.  But also I look for compatibility overall, common interests the same as in a vanilla relationship.  That helps create a strong foundation that can built into something more :)

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RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/20/2007 9:34:57 AM   
goodpet


Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline 		I started to write out the 10 personality traits i wanted in a Master. "The list of 10".  But i soon realized those were the 10 traits i sought to possess within myself and I was really seeking someone to match my standards in those areas and even inspire me to raise my standards in those traits.

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RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/20/2007 10:57:03 AM   
JennyWench


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline 		Well, assuming that there is chemistry and our kinks line up, the most important thing to me are:

1. capably of honest and open communication (no point in anything else if that isn't there)
2. intellect
3. vanilla compatibility (similiar interests, values, educational & professional parity)

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RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/20/2007 5:49:25 PM   
BlindUnknown


Posts: 66
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline 		i search for chaos, which is the highest source of beauty and wisdom in this universe, i believe.  Someone who makes the world beautful by having order in Her life because it is so rare.

i search for wisdom, someone who understands the power i am offering.  Someone who realizes their own humility, not just their superiority. 

i also search for intelligence, someone who can question their world and adapts accordingly. 

You'd be surprised how specific that actually is =\

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RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/20/2007 6:27:33 PM   
ready4srvce4all


Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		I am collared. What attracted me to Mistress was Her honesty and disclosure, on (for a lack of a better term) quid pro quo basis.  She didn't ask a million things about me without disclosing about Herself.  I just feel that honesty is the foundation for any type of relationship, and the more commitment a relationship takes on, the need for more disclosure occurs.  A friend is different than a Domme.  There are things my Mistress must know that say my buddy Joe doesn't need to know.  But regardless what is disclosed, everything must be honest.  Otherwise, you end up seeking the collar, rather than the Dominant, which someone has quoted as part of their signature, and it's oh so true.

Along with that, I must add that Mistress is very skilled at what She enjoys engaging in with play.  There is nothing She does to me She hasn't had done to Herself at some point.  Now I am not saying all Dominants should have been a submissive at some point, but they should at least be very well trained in what they engage in.  I work as a head injury nurse, and I have seen the consequences of what happens to people when they do something neither party was skilled at doing.

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RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/20/2007 7:18:00 PM   
Texy


Posts: 45
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline 		To the Op,

I look for honesty, human-ness and a sense of humor. If I talk with a Master/Mistress and they don't laugh once during the initial contact or show some form of being human, I'm not the one for them!

Openness and a tad bit of patience doesn't hurt either

thanks,

gayle

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RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/20/2007 7:28:02 PM   
enslavedproperty


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline 		honesty ......has been.........is..........and will always be the primary focal point of any relationship........everything else is built upon it..........and without it.......nothing else can be built.........

so my vote is honesty..........pure and simple unadulterated honesty

(in reply to Kitte9)
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RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/20/2007 8:12:23 PM   
Texy


Posts: 45
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline 		I agree on the honesty part. It is important. For me, being so new it's difficult for me to get that from first encounters.

A sign for me is IF i hear the song "back on the chain gang" by the pretenders playing in my head when I'm chatting with a potential....I'll run!!!


gayle

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RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/20/2007 11:17:21 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kitte9

If you are not collared, what kind of personality/traits are you looking for? If you are collared, what attracted you to your Dom/me?


Intelligence, imagination, beauty, darkness, a taste for cruelty, sophistication, depth, openness, clarity of vision, reason, creativity and strength come to mind as a handful of attributes I find critical in dominance. There so many other keys for so many other locks in that intangible place beyond words I will not even attempt to describe, but I know when I come upon those who possess the true ability to lead and inspire worship; it is a rare thing.

(in reply to Kitte9)
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RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/20/2007 11:41:20 PM   
Masque66


Posts: 185
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline 		Hm...so far only one person on this thread has posted beauty as a desireable trait.  I find it hard to believe that honesty is enough for everyone.  Doesn't physical attractiveness matter?

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RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/21/2007 12:00:13 AM   
greeneyes1962


Posts: 117
Joined: 9/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masque66

Hm...so far only one person on this thread has posted beauty as a desireable trait.  I find it hard to believe that honesty is enough for everyone.  Doesn't physical attractiveness matter?


Outward beauty means nothing if the soul is hopeless, if the person is dishonest, overly selfish, or any number of negative traits.

Honesty, stability, other things are much more important than physical beauty. I speak from the experience of a long vanilla marriage to a physically attractive man who had none of those other traits.

< Message edited by greeneyes1962 -- 5/21/2007 12:17:42 AM >

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RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/21/2007 12:04:55 AM   
goodlittlegrl29


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/6/2007
Status: offline 		greetings kittie, As someone who is currently collared but fairly new to the lifestyle, it's sometimes hard looking back what I was truely looking for in a Dom/Master. When I met my current Master I was not really looking for anything long term at the time, we first chatted a few times online and then met in person. He was very honest with me with what He was looking for and wanted which was important to me. Looks sort of played in to it, as I thought He was good looking at least in my eye's but His charm and personality are what really captured my interest in Him, without it, I doubt things would have progressed any further than they had. Also we communicated well and connected on different levels. It really varies from person to person as you can probably tell what people value most and what indeed they look for when looking for a D/s or M/s relationship. All this one can tell you is to really look at what types of people you like to be around, chat with more experienced people on here and listen and learn and you'll get a sense of what's right for you in the long run.

< Message edited by goodlittlegrl29 -- 5/21/2007 12:06:42 AM >

(in reply to Masque66)
Profile   Post #: 20
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