Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/21/2007 1:54:43 AM   
stella40


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/11/2006
From: London, UK
Status: offline 		Her mind.

_____________________________

I try to take one day at a time, but several days come and attack me at once. (Jennifer Unlimited)

If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.


(in reply to goodlittlegrl29)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/21/2007 2:16:58 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masque66

Hm...so far only one person on this thread has posted beauty as a desireable trait.  I find it hard to believe that honesty is enough for everyone.  Doesn't physical attractiveness matter?


For me outward physical attractiveness would only matter in a purely physical relationship.  There are a plethora of beautiful people whose inward ugliness negates everything.

Example: Gorgeous Man, progresses to telephone, He says He wants to learn everything about me, goes on for several minutes in a monologue about Himself and then stops.  i acknowledge what He said and then i start telling about myself and my thoughts about the subjects He talked about.  His response was anger "a slave NEVER challenges her Master!"  And this in the 'getting to know you' stage when we had never even met?   Was He honest? sure.  Was He physically attractive?  without a doubt.  Was He an ass?  Most assuredly.

So i would put 'Sense of Humor'  and  'Not an Ass'  up there on my list way before any physical attributes.


_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to Masque66)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/21/2007 2:14:26 PM   
justshelly


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline 		To me someone's personality also add's to their physical beauty or lack there of.  If someone whom I thought was attractive at first and then I got to know them and discovered them to be a complete ass I would start seeing flaws in them physically that would detract from the attractiveness for me.  Likewise if at first glance they are not what I may consider drop dead gorgeous but the personality overwhelms me and draws me in I will start to see the beauty in little things in them. 

Yes this takes time I suppose.  But then I'm not in a rush when you're looking for the perfect partner.

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/21/2007 2:22:42 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masque66

Hm...so far only one person on this thread has posted beauty as a desireable trait.  I find it hard to believe that honesty is enough for everyone.  Doesn't physical attractiveness matter?


What good is nice hair and a trim waistline if he can't set you on your ear and make you crawl inside your own skin? I think many of these subs/slaves have the right idea, it's not about having a poster boy, it's about having someone who inspires you, and siezes hold of you in every way. Looks often have little to do with the long-term reasons for attraction, such as mental and emotional stimulation.
Books and covers right? 


I can honestly say, for me, looks matter, but not in how fit, or how good he looks in a suit or leather. It's how he holds my attention, the way I can't help but look at him even if he wants me to look away. Voice, eyes, hands, whatever it happens to be. Beauty is only what you make of it, and a Dom who will throw mind, heart and body through it's paces, is what matters. Without making a long checklist fo the favored features in a Dom, that's probably my best explination of what I look for in a Dom, the ability to keep me thinking, feeling, and struggling to achieve a new level of excellence for Him.

(in reply to Masque66)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/21/2007 2:55:55 PM   
boundkitty


Posts: 62
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		1. Honesty
2. Patience
3. Sense of Humor

Everything else is icing on the cake. Without these 3, there could be no relationship between us.

Now, if you want to know about my fantasy Dom, that's a whole lot longer list *lol*

boundkitty

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/21/2007 3:10:59 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		lets see what attrcrted me to Master i would say his confidence and he is arrogrant but that is part of his charm.  His sense of humor we share an off beat sense of humor.  His intellegance (can't spell it though) and his personallity  and when we finally did meet his looks.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to boundkitty)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/21/2007 3:25:20 PM   
naivetee


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/18/2007
Status: offline 		I would say of course, trust and communication.  However, personally and ultimately, he/she must have that innate ability to just glance in my direction, having me melt into a little puddle on the floor. Sexy? :P *teehee*

_____________________________

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
Anais Nin

(in reply to Kitte9)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/21/2007 9:28:40 PM   
Indemnis


Posts: 179
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		I came across his pic and profile here... I loved his vest and pocketwatch.  <smirk>

His interests and my own meshed very well, it was almost creepy.  :)

_____________________________

No-one respects the flame quite like the fool who's badly burned-- Pete Townshend

(in reply to Kitte9)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/21/2007 9:41:07 PM   
aidan


Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline 		From my profile:
"Voracious readers and counter/pop-culture nerds a plus. A Woman who's not afraid to be CALLED a nerd is doubleplusgood...I'm looking for somebody who has a good sense of humor, who can take a joke and maybe crack a few Herself. A sense of adventure and whimsy is good too. Somebody who'll climb trees with me in the park...or at least laugh and point while I do it."

Kind of hard to explain, but a sense of honor and nobility is a glowing trait, too. You know, somebody who realizes they're an active part of the world and have a responsibility that comes with that.

Uggh. I'm so stuffy and loopy. I hope that makes sense in the morning.


_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to naivetee)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/21/2007 10:24:41 PM   
BlindUnknown


Posts: 66
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masque66
Hm...so far only one person on this thread has posted beauty as a desireable trait.  I find it hard to believe that honesty is enough for everyone.  Doesn't physical attractiveness matter?


Hahahahaha! Time for me to go crazy with detailed, rambling answers ^_^

i believe beauty is very important.  Now before i get shelled for being shallow, let's explain =P

How one sees beauty is how one determines beauty.  For some, it is "does she have large breasts?" or "does he have a six-pack?" (both variations of six pack work on college campuses, i observe =\ ). 

For myself, i am naturally attracted to the unique. While everyone has physical standards, and we all do, admit it, not all of us apply the same weight to those standards.

But beauty isn't limited to physical traits.  i mentioned in my last reply, that i find chaos beautiful.  In the film adaptation of "Carrie", near the end when she's covered in blood, or goop or whatever, but looks like blood =P and has that crazed look in her eyes, THAT is beauty to me.  Not Sissy Spacek herself, but just the idea, the icon that scene creates, is beautiful.  The little girl turned cruel and wicked, an omymoron of sorts, embodiment of chaos. And if anyone has played SoulCalibur 3, Tira, is most beautiful, though i appear to be the only fan of that game who thinks so =P

Likewise, i find those oxymorons that women choose about their appearance to be physically beautiful as well.  Granted, i need a cultural standard to apply this to, so we use the traditional barbie-doll look, which, i actually find ugly, and the more deviation, the more physically attractive it is.  i am equally drawn to the gothy-style look, as i am to larger women, as i am to women my age who bother to dress conservatively (which is rarer than you think, probably =P)

Ultimately though i find women with souls automatically beautiful.  Irregardless of any other traits (even if i hate their guts, which happens, or they are barbie dolls, which has happened).  Or, that should be, women who -use- their souls, but the difference is imperceptible.

So i think people find beauty very important, but when we hear that word we automatically think "physical looks" and draw thick, solid lines around it.  That's not true at all. ^_^

Whew...how's that for a ramble? ^_^

< Message edited by BlindUnknown -- 5/21/2007 10:27:00 PM >

_____________________________

Remember...the Dominant has power -in- the relationship, the sub has power -over- it.
Kioku shta ka?
"If Light and Darkness are eternal, than surely Nothings must be the same!"

(in reply to Masque66)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/22/2007 3:53:13 AM   
maledave7


Posts: 142
Joined: 8/4/2006
Status: offline 		I look to see if we have the same common interest. I desire to be honest and have open communication with her. I am interested in a long-term relationship with her. I desire a D/s relationship with her, but to have other interest like you would have in a vanilla relationship.

(in reply to Kitte9)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/22/2007 9:48:59 AM   
michelleryder


Posts: 198
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline 		I think first and foremost is trust followed by wit wisdom and chemistry lucky for me my masters got all of them!

(in reply to maledave7)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/22/2007 9:54:31 AM   
jauntyone


Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kitte9

If you are not collared, what kind of personality/traits are you looking for? If you are collared, what attracted you to your Dom/me?

Greetings
 
in all honesty, it was Master's looks that FIRST attracted me. As time went on, it was the little things about him and his personality that kept the attraction there.
 
I wish you well
 
melissa

(in reply to Kitte9)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/26/2007 4:51:00 PM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlindUnknown

quote:

ORIGINAL: Masque66
Hm...so far only one person on this thread has posted beauty as a desireable trait.  I find it hard to believe that honesty is enough for everyone.  Doesn't physical attractiveness matter?


Hahahahaha! Time for me to go crazy with detailed, rambling answers ^_^

i believe beauty is very important.  Now before i get shelled for being shallow, let's explain =P

How one sees beauty is how one determines beauty.  For some, it is "does she have large breasts?" or "does he have a six-pack?" (both variations of six pack work on college campuses, i observe =\ ). 

For myself, i am naturally attracted to the unique. While everyone has physical standards, and we all do, admit it, not all of us apply the same weight to those standards.

But beauty isn't limited to physical traits.  i mentioned in my last reply, that i find chaos beautiful.  In the film adaptation of "Carrie", near the end when she's covered in blood, or goop or whatever, but looks like blood =P and has that crazed look in her eyes, THAT is beauty to me.  Not Sissy Spacek herself, but just the idea, the icon that scene creates, is beautiful.  The little girl turned cruel and wicked, an omymoron of sorts, embodiment of chaos. And if anyone has played SoulCalibur 3, Tira, is most beautiful, though i appear to be the only fan of that game who thinks so =P

Likewise, i find those oxymorons that women choose about their appearance to be physically beautiful as well.  Granted, i need a cultural standard to apply this to, so we use the traditional barbie-doll look, which, i actually find ugly, and the more deviation, the more physically attractive it is.  i am equally drawn to the gothy-style look, as i am to larger women, as i am to women my age who bother to dress conservatively (which is rarer than you think, probably =P)

Ultimately though i find women with souls automatically beautiful.  Irregardless of any other traits (even if i hate their guts, which happens, or they are barbie dolls, which has happened).  Or, that should be, women who -use- their souls, but the difference is imperceptible.

So i think people find beauty very important, but when we hear that word we automatically think "physical looks" and draw thick, solid lines around it.  That's not true at all. ^_^

Whew...how's that for a ramble? ^_^



Damn good ramble

_____________________________

I am stronger than yesterday

(in reply to BlindUnknown)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/26/2007 9:32:48 PM   
CdnExplorer


Posts: 227
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline 		I look for a lot of the things others have mentioned here, much as I would in a vanilla relationship. Honesty, a sense of humor, intelligence (that's a big one for me). But when it comes to establishing the sense of trust that will form the base of any D/s relationship nothing stands out more than showing they think beyond themselves. The dominants that I've come to respect the most could never be accused of being selfish. Their biggest focus is on giving their subs what they need / want. This might seem a bit of a paradox, but then so are a lot of things in bdsm. I think what happens is that this giving creates such a high level of trust and appreciation in the sub that they want to do more to please their dominant. At least that's the way it's worked for me. The greater Her focus on my needs, the greater my focus on Hers. It becomes a reciprocal giving that continuously grows.

(in reply to Kitte9)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/27/2007 12:54:13 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masque66

Hm...so far only one person on this thread has posted beauty as a desireable trait.  I find it hard to believe that honesty is enough for everyone.  Doesn't physical attractiveness matter?


Yes and no.

I've found such a wide variety of folks attractive that it's useless to state physical qualities that I want. Hell, most of the time I'm not even all that interested in a person physically until I get to see how big and sexy their brain is!

As for a dominant... In my ideal: Gamer, kind and firm, knows the value of a loyal submissive, playful, still willing to goof off, doesn't suffer from "domly" delusions of grandeur, friendly, likes to dance, enjoys a good beer, loves Ren Fairs, respects my bond with my family and friends, encourages me to strengthen those bonds...

Hey... wadda know... except for the dancing thing, I described Valyraen!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Masque66)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/30/2007 12:33:25 PM   
complaisant2u


Posts: 18
Joined: 3/28/2007
From: near Augusta, GA
Status: offline 		I like leadership and independence.  Realistic world view is nice too.

(in reply to Kitte9)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 5/30/2007 2:03:50 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masque66

Hm...so far only one person on this thread has posted beauty as a desireable trait.  I find it hard to believe that honesty is enough for everyone.  Doesn't physical attractiveness matter?


For me beauty, as in looks, is what attracts me to someone. Honestsy and loyalty are traits which i look for in someone, if someone is dishonest or mean sprited then looks count for nothing.

(in reply to Masque66)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 6/8/2007 3:27:16 AM   
sensualslave28


Posts: 45
Joined: 1/8/2005
From: Australia
Status: offline 		I look for integrity foremost, how can one submit to someone who doesnt hold your respect - you would be silly to handover submission to someone who would just abuse it.

Secondly i look for the connection - there must be some sort of spiritual bond for me, apart from these two I also look for confidence and a love of what they do. Seeing my domme getting off on what it is they are doing to me instantly makes me want to submit further and further and will push my limits past the edge. Natural dominance also helps.

(in reply to goodlittlegrl29)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? - 6/8/2007 3:44:27 AM   
redsky


Posts: 228
Joined: 12/28/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		Honesty. Respect. nice looks & a cute ass... im not Owned i can say that...cant i?! lol

_____________________________



(in reply to sensualslave28)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: What do you look for in a Dom/me? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.102