WhiplashSmile
Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SireKane
WhiplashSmile,
I did'nt mean for you to take most post so personal, but so be it. For the record. If I were to see you bent over a play horse and getting your ass paddled, flogged ,cropped or singletailed I'd assume that you were a submissive guy. There is no visable distinction between bottoming and submitting,. You say you top from the bottom. Submissive females top from the bottom. You state that you decide what gets done to you. Submissive females negotiate what gets done to them also. You say If you are not satisfied with what they are doing you can "Get rid of their ass" A submissive female can do the same by simply executing her safe word. You say you are in "control" A submissive through negotiation and her safe word is in control also. The difference between bottoming and submitting is the internal processing. Nobody can read hearts and minds. I have been brought into numerous instances where a submissive male, proclaims he is dominant to a submissive female. As the relationship moves forward her "dom" orders her to top him. It eventually progresses to the point where she no longer physically submits to him and is exclusively topping him. That is my experience with this whole dominant male who bottoms thing. You evidently are the exception to the rule. Congratulations.
SirKane,
There are way too many activities I enjoy topping in my dominant role. I had three experiences in the past where I tried/attempted to be a submissive bottom. It makes me cringe in thought. Needless to say, I'm not submissive nor a true switch that will take a turn at playing submissive.
I had one relationship with a Domme and it did not make me melt away into the land of submission. You know that often overly romanticized state of seeing rainbows, unicorns and walking in fields tall flowing grass. Submission was not an option for either of us because it would have ruined a lot of aspects we enjoyed in the relationship. I was not a submissive in a D/D relationship, the idea of spinning a D/s relationship around 180 degress in the opposite direction is absurb in my mind.
There are different perspectives/views rooted in Old Guard, Gorean and other schools of thought regarding what a real Dom or Master should be. It's evident some of your experiences/views and mine are different and conflict with each other.
For the record I have to disagree with you regarding "Submissive females topping from the bottom" and disagree with you on "Submissive females negotiate what gets done to them also" and even more strongly disagree in Mater/Slave relationships.
So you basically believe a slave tops their Master from the bottom during scene play and negoticates what gets done to them even though this is a TPE based relationship? WOW...
From my experience most submissives/slaves tend to dislike using the safeword, because they view it as a sign of weakness or failure on their part. Submissives don't use the safeword to control a scene. Again this is an example of where your experience/views conflict with mine.
I don't consider using a "hault" command to be anything like the safewood. Hell, I might have a sub/slave hault what they are doing, to have them change to a different flogger or perhaps towel off my forehead or whatever else. I might have simply had enough bottoming experience to bring me pleasure and simply want to move onto some other activity. Just because I am haulting a scene does not mean my pain tolerence or some limit has been reached. This is not like using a Safeword at all. Wow... there's a big difference between using a hault command and safewords. One is for control purposes and the other is in event of emergency or crisis is happening during scene play.
I don't know what kind of submissives/slaves you've been playing with, the ones I've played with don't attempt to top from the bottom, let alone think about using the safeword as a means to top from the bottom.
Regarding your response in general, I believe it carries the underlying theme of doms who like to bottom at times are really submissives in disquise. With the additional theme that this will undermine a D/s relationship itself as a rule of thumb.
I believe that any Dom/me prescribing to this train of thought, will become paranoid being misunderstood and branded as a submissive. To the pont they deny themselves of taking pleasure some activities they enjoy.
Any submissive or slave worth a damn seeks to please their Dom/me. Any Dom/me worth a damn should be able to help their submissive get past any mental road blocks. This is all part of what a D/s relationship is all about anyways, is it not?
For the record I don't believe I'm an exception to a rule regarding Dom that enjoy being the bottom of a few activities. There is no reason why a D/s relationship should fall apart at the seams over this. I could see this happening if a Dom insists upon being the bottom all time or even most of the time. I am a Dom that tops most of the time and bottoms on occasion. I still don't consider myself as some twisted exception to some rule. In terms of my D/D relationship it was about a 50/50 exchange kept on equal footing and the scene play was rather different compared to D/s scene play. I honesty say there were exceptions, but the exceptions might not be what many people would expect coming from a D/s mindset.
Just because I'm part of the "SadoMaso Dom club" does not mean I'm going to be joining "SadoMaso Sissy Boy Slave club" at any point in my life. Again, I don't believe for one minute I'm some exception to some rule.
Also for the record if I ever had a submissive/slave flog me in a public dungeon, it would be clear and obvious who was the submissive and the Dom in the scene. I'm certain there people on this site that have been to dungeons to have witnessed a sub/slave flogging their Master/Mistress and it was clear to them who was who.
In regards to visable distinctions during a public scene, you'd probally hear the top refer to me as "Sir" or "Master". Also, I'm very vocal about WTF is going on during a scene. Plus she'd probally be wearing a play collar or collar (another clue). I would probally be in a upright position such as being on St. Andrews Cross as opposed to being bent over on a horse. There would be way too many indicators in terms of WTF was going on. You'd probally have to be deaf , dumb and blind not catch on about it.
If anybody saw me getting flogged and assumed I was submissive, so be it. I tend to not let stereotyping or mindless peer pressure stand in the way of things. Besides it's always fun to blow people's mind from time to time by not following along with the clicky trendy expected things. You know; Doms are supposed to always top, submissives are always supposed to bottom, Only Doms can be Sadistic, Only Submissives can be Masochists, and only good dogs get to go to heaven type of stuff. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah... Stereotyping.
< Message edited by WhiplashSmile -- 5/22/2007 4:15:29 AM >
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RE: D/s and TPE..........and switching? - 
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I’m a switch that needs to be in a switch/switch relationship. For me it just a fluid dance you can feel that power changing hands but it just feels so very natural. 
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