RE: Sub/slave=child (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

gringuita -> RE: Sub/slave=child (5/25/2007 7:23:23 PM)

I have a Daddy, and I'm quite happy with the role of his daughter.  Being his 'child' makes sense for both of us. 

He gives me a set of rules, chores, guidance, discipline, and all the other things that any dutiful parent would do for their child.

I know I can reply on him to care about my healthy, safety and happiness because I'm his child; and he can also count on me to follow the rules (to the best of my ability), be available for him, and be a respectful and dutiful daughter.

I'm quite capable of life while not being his child, but why would I want something so dull?



FelinePersuasion -> RE: Sub/slave=child (5/25/2007 7:50:02 PM)

I wish James would act more like a parent lol. I need way more disipline and guidance, and supervision than he gives hehe.



ennaozzie -> RE: Sub/slave=child (5/25/2007 7:52:30 PM)

I agree with Tricia 

there might be some that do pretend, and there are those that can not live without anyone, i am a very strong person and i consider myself subbie. 

I have been on my own for a few years because i refuse to hook on to someone for the sake of not been on my own. 

I have lived a D/s relationship and thrived on it, (three years) i dont have doubts about if i am subbie or not. and i raised children on my own.

You dont have to pretend to be subbie to find a meal ticket, if that is what you are looking for.

beanie




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Sub/slave=child (5/25/2007 8:04:26 PM)

I actually have a lot of respect for people who admit that this is what they want, claim it for themselves and work the hell out of it.

It's the ones who shout from the rooftops that they are serious strong WOMYN and you better take them seriously...who then expect to sit around online in gossamer pillows and robes, are utterly incapable of sustaining a life or attending to adult life manners properly that are the problem.



velvetears -> RE: Sub/slave=child (5/25/2007 8:21:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

I love how this went from me stateing I didnt think compareing subs to children was right to me beeing called a child from the other "adults" here. I dont know how it became time to flame me and call me childish or poke fun at my spelling but this wasnt why I opend the thread and I didnt attack anyone. I am very hurt and insulted and will now take my leave of these boards. No need for me to be where Im not wanted and since so many think Im so childish and cant understand that I have  a learning dissability that makes it very hard for me to spell and such, they arent people i want to be around.

Magik's slave


i hope you don't take to heart what others have said that may be hurtful to you.  You cannot account for where each person is coming from, in the end does every opinion really count? Many here would miss your posts - i would - you bring something to these boards that i find refreshing.  As for the doms treting subs as children and vice versa - subs wanting that - it's all under that big umbrella we call bdsm. It's not my cup of tea but for some it serves a need and while i may make an icky face when i read it - i just look past it and say, well it's their kink who am i to judge.  There's lots on these boards that frustrate me, annoy me, anger me, squick me but if i allowed it all to get to me i would do nothing but argue with everyone.  And i am sure my posts do the same to others. 

As for making remarks about her style of writing - shes admitted to a problem - grow up and don't make fun or try to use it to put her down or hurt her - it just makes you look bad. This is a bdsm board not English Grammar 101



spanklette -> RE: Sub/slave=child (5/25/2007 8:49:31 PM)

~fast reply~
 
I'm the little girl half of a Daddy/little girl relationship that does not involve age play. Sometimes, and I mean this literally, people will bring me coloring books to occupy myself when I'm at a munch...as if I couldn't pay attention or have a coherent thought. But, it's the thought that counts...and when the people who inevitably start to argue get going, I can whip out my coloring book. And, maybe even tear a page out for anyone nearby in case boredom rears its ugly head.[:D]
 
People will be people. Some people will be childish and say, "Do you really think that I have such a small brain that it can only be occupied by a coloring book so that I don't distract the grownups?" Or, one can accept the gift with grace and let them think what they want. By the way, if you react with grace and subtle hints...sometimes they'll hook you up with a crossword puzzle book.[:D]
 
What others think about me is up to them. I don't try and sway their opinion or try and sum up what our relationship dynamic is. If I enjoy their company, they'll figure it out or ask the right questions.
 
My only issue with this trend is when people talk at me instead of to me. But, I'm easygoing...they just won't be getting a page from my coloring book.[8D]



dawntreader -> RE: Sub/slave=child (5/25/2007 9:38:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

My only issue with this trend is when people talk at me instead of to me. But, I'm easygoing...they just won't be getting a page from my coloring book.[8D]


spanklette,
i love your sense of humor!!LOL!!!



CitizenCane -> RE: Sub/slave=child (5/25/2007 9:51:31 PM)

It seems to me that 'being treated like a child' is a pretty amorphous phrase, a sort of Rorsach blot of a term that informs us about people by their reactions to it rather than conveying much meaning on it's own. In my upbringing, being treated like a child meant being valued, given lots of room to explore, given as much responsibility as one could bear, and having older, more experienced people intervene in those situations where ignorance seemed about to lead to unfixable negative consequences. I suspect that people who complain about being treated like a child had a much different experience.





salilus -> RE: Sub/slave=child (5/26/2007 7:27:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

~fast reply~
 
I'm the little girl half of a Daddy/little girl relationship that does not involve age play. Sometimes, and I mean this literally, people will bring me coloring books to occupy myself when I'm at a munch...as if I couldn't pay attention or have a coherent thought. But, it's the thought that counts...and when the people who inevitably start to argue get going, I can whip out my coloring book. And, maybe even tear a page out for anyone nearby in case boredom rears its ugly head.[:D]
 
People will be people. Some people will be childish and say, "Do you really think that I have such a small brain that it can only be occupied by a coloring book so that I don't distract the grownups?" Or, one can accept the gift with grace and let them think what they want. By the way, if you react with grace and subtle hints...sometimes they'll hook you up with a crossword puzzle book.[:D]
 
What others think about me is up to them. I don't try and sway their opinion or try and sum up what our relationship dynamic is. If I enjoy their company, they'll figure it out or ask the right questions.
 
My only issue with this trend is when people talk at me instead of to me. But, I'm easygoing...they just won't be getting a page from my coloring book.[8D]


I'm jealous. No one ever brought me a colouring book to the munch we attend.
Sudoko or logic puzzles might be fun too, for the times we people drone on with the same story for the 93rd time.



DrDark -> RE: Sub/slave=child (5/26/2007 8:44:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

---> So often you see people compaering sub/slaves to children... such as with discapline and punishment and many other things. I want to know why?? Do you Doms not crave an adult partner who needs you yet can take care of themsevs if you arent there?? I dont get this and I for one know it makes me a little hot under the collar when someone does compare a sub/slave to a child. A child has no place in this lifestyle!! I feel it to be very demeaing and belittleing to be compared to a child. Am I the only one that thinks sub/slaves deserve more credit and respect then that??<---


So... you don't like it, therefore it's wrong? And because my particular kink includes ageplay, I don't respect my slave?
Right. How lovely for you.

Frankly, you haven't a bloody clue. This has absolutely nothing to do with real children in this lifestyle - that's called pedophilia, dear, not BDSM.



OsideGirl -> RE: Sub/slave=child (5/26/2007 9:43:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tricia
I would imagine pretending to be submissive is a hell of alot of work compared to just finding some  "vanilla" guy ready and willing to 'take care of' someone. 

Not really because it's accepted and praised. It's actually easier than to face the issues in a vanilla enviroment.
 

quote:

I'd be more curious to know how all these women, pretending to be submissive, survived before they found the man of their dreams.
  My experience has been that they go from Dominant to Dominant. They are never without a relationship because that would mean having to survive in the real world.

I have no issues with someone that is able to be self reliant going into a relationship that involves age play, or giving up responsibilities. My issue is with the submissives who refuse to learn the skills to be self reliant, in case they need them. Eventually most of them will end up as a drain on the community. I hate that my tax dollars go to support someone who is perfectly capable, but refuses to learn, when children are going hungry.



mbes -> RE: Sub/slave=child (5/26/2007 11:56:33 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CitizenCane

It seems to me that 'being treated like a child' is a pretty amorphous phrase, a sort of Rorsach blot of a term that informs us about people by their reactions to it rather than conveying much meaning on it's own. In my upbringing, being treated like a child meant being valued, given lots of room to explore, given as much responsibility as one could bear, and having older, more experienced people intervene in those situations where ignorance seemed about to lead to unfixable negative consequences. I suspect that people who complain about being treated like a child had a much different experience.

It sounds like you had a lovely childhood, I hope you have thanked your parents profusely. While mine wasn't quite that ideal, it was certainly good, and I have a lot of happy memories for which I'm grateful to my parents.
However, that doesn't mean that I have any interest in being treat as a child now. What's the line from the Bible? Something along the lines of "when I was a child, I played with childish things. When I was a man, I put away childish things." One of the letters to the Corinthians, I believe.
There are subs who want guidance and protection and lack of responsibility, and that's fine. There are subs who aren't interested in any of those things. To assume that all subs want the same things, and should be treated the same, seems as big a mistake as assuming that all doms want the same things. It makes more sense to me to treat everyone neutrally (as much as possible) unless and until you know them well enough to know their preferences.



Kidsphoenixx -> RE: Sub/slave=child (5/26/2007 12:21:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mbes
It makes more sense to me to treat everyone neutrally (as much as possible) unless and until you know them well enough to know their preferences.

But if we all did that, there'd be nothing to read on the Forum. * smiles*

I suspect there may be some misunderstanding in this thread, between "childish" and "child-like", but, hey, it makes for interesting reading anway.

Edited because I screwed up the quote box thing.[;)]






MagiksSlave -> RE: Sub/slave=child (5/26/2007 1:32:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DrDark

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

---> So often you see people compaering sub/slaves to children... such as with discapline and punishment and many other things. I want to know why?? Do you Doms not crave an adult partner who needs you yet can take care of themsevs if you arent there?? I dont get this and I for one know it makes me a little hot under the collar when someone does compare a sub/slave to a child. A child has no place in this lifestyle!! I feel it to be very demeaing and belittleing to be compared to a child. Am I the only one that thinks sub/slaves deserve more credit and respect then that??<---


So... you don't like it, therefore it's wrong? And because my particular kink includes ageplay, I don't respect my slave?
Right. How lovely for you.

Frankly, you haven't a bloody clue. This has absolutely nothing to do with real children in this lifestyle - that's called pedophilia, dear, not BDSM.



Im only replying because this is completley outragouse and was brought to my attention to clarrifiy. This will be my last post however, no matter how off topic this thread gets from now on (or any other for that mattter) this will at least clear things up befor I go. I was not talking about ageplay or even Dadd/littlegirl relationships. Me and Master do ageplay sometimes but that was not what i was refering to. I was refering to as a whole people likeining ANYONE and EVERYONE who is subissive to a child. When me and Master arent age playing I am not a child I am an adult. You should read more carefully befor you spit venum Sir because this was not at all what my op was about.What I was mostly refering to is when some (not all)  is talking about any slave they automaticaly go to treating them like they are children. we have seen a lot of this here where people automatically assume becuase someone is a s type they need to be treated like children or coddled or protected. THIS is what gets to me. This is an adult world and people should be treated as such unless saying they prefer to be treated otherwise, but saying alll subs need spankings for beeing "bad" or all subs need to be watched at all times is wrong. Heck there are some venillas I think would benafit from a spanking as well as some venilla people I dont think should ever be left on their own. It is an indavidual charectoristic not a charactoristic of beeing a sub/slave as many make it out to be.With that Im off ill leave you to burn eachother down..


Magik's slave



MsParados -> RE: Sub/slave=child (5/26/2007 10:23:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Second class citizens would be, what I view, as the best way to describe it.

People constantly preach about "consenting ADULTS" but time and time again, not just on the Net, but in real time communities, I cant help but notice the input and opinions of a self labeled slave or sub being almost disregarded in comparsion to that of a self labeled dominant or Master.

Amazingly though, I have yet to see this in any of the homosexual couples I've made friends with, either real time or online. Its more of a hetero thing.



Being gay does not make a relationship special, magical or any different than a hetero couple; the same problems effect us all. Not sure what your experince is with the gay community but in my experince lesbian couples are just as likely to disregard or condesend to their partner. Hell, I might even go as far to say that with gay men it is even more previlent in the areas I have lived (2 of the most gay friendly cities in the east) : Ft. Lauderdale, FL and Burlington, VT.



MistressKay -> RE: Sub/slave=child (5/26/2007 10:44:52 PM)

We set the standard by which we are treated by what we allow in our lives. That being said the online cyber world of bdsm has done much of what we do a disservice. It has allowed a venue for those who either don't want responsibility for their own lives or those who feel they need to control others because they have no control in their lives to participate with negative ramifications.

For every person we come in contact with we are given an opportunity to enlighten, educate, irritate, etc... it is my hopes that for each of us who is mature and responsible we are able to share what is it that we do in a way that will create a more respectful reaction to our choices. We can change how we are perceived by others by setting the standards of what we will accept.

One last note - the lifestyle is all about living out fantasies and many have fantasies of age play, or TPE... these ARE fantasies and in that context many seem to enjoy it... however it does not reflect on the whole as not all will share the same interests.  What is generally accepted is that we do requires a legal age of consent - regardless of the fantasy.



LafayetteLady -> RE: Sub/slave=child (5/26/2007 11:09:43 PM)

I found the subject matter of this thread very interesting.  Although submissive, I am a very strong and independent person in my life.  Recent horrible events have put me in a mindset where I find myself being very careful of all "potential" dominants who contact me.  I think how easy it would be to become "child like" allowing others to just dictate my life and not have to face adult problems.  I compare it to the advice given to those who recently suffer the death of a loved one, and how they are are advised to not make any major decisions for about a year to give themselves time to heal. 

It would be very easy for me to commit to something just to escape, but in the long run, I realize it would likely be a mistake and everyone would be unhappy in the long run.  A little difficult to not give in and let someone take over completely regardless of compatibility just to escape, but thankfully, I haven't lost my mind yet.

As for those who do seek out those types of relationships, I will take the high road and say....as long as they are all happy with it, more power to them.



MagiksSlave -> RE: Sub/slave=child (6/2/2007 12:24:36 PM)

Ok.... I took time to calm down and think about things. I think what I wrote here in this thread as well as many other things I have written have great merrit even if they dont have great spelling. A few desided to insult me which only shows their lack of meturity not mine. I only showed that maybe when it comes to handling ridicule and insults Im not on the top of my game and I apologise that I blew up as I did. I thank those of you who defended me and those who wrote me personally it helped to know that a majarity of people are nice and do want to hear what I have to say... As far is this topic goes I stand by what I said... I was not saying anything about ageplay or individual relationships I was talking about here on the boards where people who dont know eachother treat subs as if they are children or makes statements that liken all subs to children.


Magik's slave



LadyHugs -> RE: Sub/slave=child (6/2/2007 2:19:19 PM)

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I have witnessed many occasions where Dominants of all sorts have spoken to those identifying as slave, submissive, servant, boy or girl (in all the flavors of spelling and associations); in a manner to which surpasses the realm of role play, in a manner to which best is said to children under the age of six.
 
Sadly, it escapes me why any individual, other than to with purpose--upset another adult, as to demean and or humiliate them, as to devalue their self esteem and control them through mental, emotional and spiritual negativities; wishes to speak with another human being who is an adult that way.
 
I do realize the necessity at times to get through brat types, manipulating and gamers/players; to which such tones often get the message that the games and tolerance for such stops now.
 
It takes a lot of power, control, self assurance and strength to be a slave and or submissive to another by consent and by choice.  It requires a logical adult mind to know the effects/affects of submission to another.
 
As to this person, identifying as jessykapowwwer -- all I can do is say how disappointing it is to have someone willfully disrupt topic threads throughout the entire venue and identifies as a Dominant.  The is nothing Dominant about the attitude or behavior.  Just domineering, controlling, insulting and an attention vampire.  Too many such individuals, regardless of roles exist and only give a great example to General George S. Patton's words -- If a soldier does not act like a soldier, dress like a soldier--how can anybody expect them to fight like soldiers.  In this case--dominant.  So, as a Dominant -- I am sorry that others have to be exposed to such nonsense.
 
Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 
 



OsideGirl -> RE: Sub/slave=child (6/2/2007 5:40:55 PM)

I don't know if I've said this before....but Lady Hugs....I apprecaite your wisdom and experience. [:)]



Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.09375