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A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 3:31:33 AM

Copulo

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I can understand age play to a degree. I think all of us have an amount of hidden childhood within us. It’s a place where we feel safe because we have no responsibilities. I can understand parenting skills and how compatible that is with an age player. I have times with subs when I want to wrap them up in a blanket and just nurture them. I may treat them like they are weak and helpless but they are still (in my eyes) adults but I know how they are feeling inside and that gives me a certain amount of satisfaction.

Ok I am going to show my ignorance here because I really don’t understand a great deal about where the mans mind is when it comes to doing age play. I have spoken to a lot of daddy's and I thought I had my head round what it was all about for them but then yesterday something was said on another thread, regarding a man getting turned on by a woman that was abused as a 6 year old that perhaps he got off on age play. This to me means that he was imagining a 6 year old getting abused and being turned on by that image (or does it?) Im kind of shocked that this has been said and I need to ask peoples views on this.
Is this related to age play?

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RE: A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 3:49:42 AM

Areflectionofyou

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Children and abuse by no means have anything to do with age play. That guy was just nuts.

(in reply to Copulo)

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RE: A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 4:04:58 AM

ennaozzie

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Arefrectionofyou is right, age play has nothing to do with abuse of children.

If they are turned on by children been abused or turned on by the thought of their now adult sub been abused at that age, if i was that sub i would be gone like a shot. With that been said there is nothing wrong with age play in itself.

With D/s and aspects of BDSM being my life outside every other every day things, and also with a job for the past five years being involved with a org that gathers info on pedophiles and passes that infomation on to authorities (after being confirmed 100%) there is a huge difference between age play and pedophiles, and all our members of the org i work for have to know that difference.

Go by your gut instincts as to what is right or wrong, even if your mind is confused your reaction or the meaning you gained from that experence told you something was not quite right i think its great you ask questions, to put clear in your own mind what was what.

Good on you for posting that, as a lot supposedly in the D/s and BDSM lifestyle have a totaly wrong understanding what the Daddy Dom/babygirl part of it all is about. Its questions like that that open up questions that others might not ask.

beanie

< Message edited by ennaozzie -- 6/1/2007 4:06:45 AM >

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RE: A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 4:24:09 AM

darkinshadows

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I would say that the situation you just mentioned, and the way it was portrayed on the other thread, led me to believe that was nothing to do with ageplay and not related in any healthy way, and was everything to do with the man in question being completely stupid and/or worded his reaction badly.

But then we only heard half the story. But that is the impression it left with me.

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to Copulo)

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RE: A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 4:27:44 AM

Copulo

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Thanks ennaozzie, I have to admit that I was somewhat dubious about asking that question for fear of being shot down in flames.
I have to admit that when I first came on the scene (too long ago to remember) I had no understanding of what age play was about and depending on who you speak to about it, one will go from very positive to very negative views.
I did go to a couple of workshops on age play just so that I could understand more about the dynamics of wanting to be a child but neither of these workshops discussed the dynamics of wanting to be a parent (strange really!)
One of my best friends is a daddy and we have had lengthy talks about what it means to him and I completely understand where his head is at but then I have been to another site where they have a chat room that encourages people to talk about memories of being punished as a child and where they want to know the smallest of detail and I find that kind of disturbing, especially as that room is always full to bursting. I suppose with all things regarding our fetishes, we have people doing it for the wrong reasons
I think there is a lot of negativity around the title of ‘age play’ and I think on the whole it is just lack of knowledge about the said subject. Asking a question that is often on so many peoples lips is the only way to get good informative answers but so often people don’t want to be the one to ask it!

(in reply to ennaozzie)

Post #: 5

RE: A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 4:29:42 AM

Copulo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

I would say that the situation you just mentioned, and the way it was portrayed on the other thread, led me to believe that was nothing to do with ageplay and not related in any healthy way, and was everything to do with the man in question being completely stupid and/or worded his reaction badly.

But then we only heard half the story. But that is the impression it left with me.

Peace and Rapture

I am not talking about what the op said but one of the final replies that said ‘well perhaps he was turned on because he was into age play’

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 6

RE: A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 4:42:23 AM

Elorin

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From: San Antonio, TX
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When I age play I am 5 years old. Sir is my Daddy, and is very nurturing and protective. Sir doesn't like kids very much, he has problems tolerating my daughter, and doesn't want any children of his own, but he loves his "little girl" Marie (the name we use for my age play persona) and takes care of her much as any father would. He tolerates some of my habits, he indulges me sometimes, but mostly he protects me and keeps me safe, and gives me the love and affection that he would his own child (if he had a parental instinct).

Having said that, the draw I think is that he gets to indulge that protective, nurturing aspect without having to deal with a child. I don't wet my pants, if I start to throw a tantrum in an inappropriate place he can engage my adult mind and say "enough" and it's over, if the food I like isn't available I will eat it instead of crying the way a child would who didn't get what they want. I do many things a child would do but when it gets to be too much he can engage the adult and end it.

Sir and I do engage in sexual play when I am ageplaying. He is not attracted to 5 year olds or the thought of having sex with 5 year olds. He is attracted to the trusting, loving, playful aspect of me, being nurtured and protected by him, and sharing our love sexually. Sex as "Marie" is very fresh, new, surprising, and startling. It never has the edgy overtones of sadism, and it is always a feeling of "showing something new" as well as "I love you so much here is another way to say I love you". But the age play is role play, and the one doing a role play is an adult - and THAT is the one he is attracted to. Enjoying elements of role play in our sexual games is all well and good, but the attraction is sharing a different aspect of sexual fun than our normal interaction. And sharing it with the adult, loving, consenting partner he enjoys all the rest of the time.

~E

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(in reply to Copulo)

Post #: 7

RE: A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 4:44:13 AM

darkinshadows

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Copulo

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

I would say that the situation you just mentioned, and the way it was portrayed on the other thread, led me to believe that was nothing to do with ageplay and not related in any healthy way, and was everything to do with the man in question being completely stupid and/or worded his reaction badly.

But then we only heard half the story. But that is the impression it left with me.

Peace and Rapture

I am not talking about what the op said but one of the final replies that said ‘well perhaps he was turned on because he was into age play’

I probably worded badly. Someone stated it was related to ageplay, IMO what the OP in that thread said did not indicate that it was ageplay as I understand it - so the person that suggested it was incorrect based on my experience of this particular activity. The man was simply a buffoon (my new word of the day) and the person who cited age play as a possible link someone who completely misread the OP or doesn't really comprehend the stages and situations (and there are many) of ageplay. Just because I get for example - turned on by religious iconism, doesn't mean I am aroused Jesus himself. (Not that RI has anything to do with ageplay, but trying to remain in the terms of TOS to give the example that it isn't the actual age that is relivent, but rather the concept and mindset that is important)

I can't offer aspects from a male POV, but as a female, I can definately feel a maternal bond in such play .

Peace

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to Copulo)

Post #: 8

RE: A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 4:50:54 AM

slaveluci

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From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elorin
Sir is my Daddy, and is very nurturing and protective

doesn't want any (more) children of his own, but he loves his "little girl" and takes care of her much as any father would. He tolerates some of my habits, he indulges me sometimes, but mostly he protects me and keeps me safe, and gives me the love and affection that he would his own child (if he had a parental instinct).

Having said that, the draw I think is that he gets to indulge that protective, nurturing aspect without having to deal with a child.

Sir and I do engage in sexual play when I am ageplaying. He is not attracted to 5 year olds or the thought of having sex with 5 year olds. He is attracted to the trusting, loving, playful aspect of me, being nurtured and protected by him, and sharing our love sexually. Sex as "Marie" is very fresh, new, surprising, and startling. It never has the edgy overtones of sadism, and it is always a feeling of "showing something new" as well as "I love you so much here is another way to say I love you". But the age play is role play, and the one doing a role play is an adult - and THAT is the one he is attracted to. Enjoying elements of role play in our sexual games is all well and good, but the attraction is sharing a different aspect of sexual fun than our normal interaction. And sharing it with the adult, loving, consenting partner he enjoys all the rest of the time.

~E
WOW - beautifully stated, Elorin. You summed it up so perfectly. i could have never found quite those words. Thank you so much.......slave luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to Elorin)

Post #: 9

RE: A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 4:53:21 AM

DiurnalVampire

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For us, age play is used to as a second chance to enjoy a childhood that was missed becasue of emotional distance by parents. Angel never had a loving, nurturing and affectionate Mommy growing up. He was very much raised that he had to be a man from a young age. When he and I play, he gets to be the frail, needy, helpless dependant child he wasnt before.
The reason I explain this, there is the slight possibility (and not having read the other thread in question necessarily I cant say for certain) that the turn on has nothing to do with what happened in the past. The turn on comes from what he can now allow the girl to experience with him that she never had in the past. I know I find it extremely endearing and exciting to have Angel as my baby, not only becasue of the power exchange but because I can give him something he never had before and never assumed he would ever get. Whomever was enjoying it becasue of the abuse at age 6 might be doing so becaue he can give an outlet to someone.
Like I said, just a thought, since I didnt read the other thread.

DV

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VampiresLair

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 10

RE: A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 5:33:25 AM

Copulo

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Elorin you did word that beautifully.
The Daddy I know speaks of it very much like you do.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 11

RE: A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 5:35:16 AM

Copulo

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Thanks for clarifying that darkinshadows . I totally understand what you are saying.

(in reply to Copulo)

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RE: A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 5:41:22 AM

Copulo

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Diurnal Vampire ty... you said:

The turn on comes from what he can now allow the girl to experience with him that she never had in the past.

Now I never thought of it like that but it makes a lot of sense.

I know I find it extremely endearing and exciting to have Angel as my baby, not only becasue of the power exchange but because I can give him something he never had before and never assumed he would ever get. Whomever was enjoying it becasue of the abuse at age 6 might be doing so becaue he can give an outlet to someone.

You explain yourself so well here. I have to ask you, do you get what you would consider a deeper bond with each other through doing this?

< Message edited by Copulo -- 6/1/2007 5:42:17 AM >

(in reply to Copulo)

Post #: 13

RE: A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 7:27:25 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Copulo
This to me means that he was imagining a 6 year old getting abused and being turned on by that image (or does it?) Im kind of shocked that this has been said and I need to ask peoples views on this.
Is this related to age play?

For some it can be.

People have fantasies about wanting to be with UMs a lot more often than we'd like to admit probably.

People even have actual desires about wanting to be with UMs.

Some people convert those into age play scenes with consenting adults.

This isn't what age play "is about" for most people, but it certainly is one side of it for some.

And yes, lots of people in the scene who do age play really really like having sex with one person being the older guardian and the other being the young vulnerable UM.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Copulo)

Post #: 14

RE: A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 12:26:17 PM

Copulo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Copulo
This to me means that he was imagining a 6 year old getting abused and being turned on by that image (or does it?) Im kind of shocked that this has been said and I need to ask peoples views on this.
Is this related to age play?

For some it can be.

This isn't what age play "is about" for most people, but it certainly is one side of it for some.

And yes, lots of people in the scene who do age play really really like having sex with one person being the older guardian and the other being the young vulnerable UM.

Then I hope this is not part of what we consider to be age play because this bit
and this is where I see certain predators coming into this field of things,
is concerning. One does not have to commit an act to be diagnosed as a pedophile
Over a period of at least 6 months, recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving sexual activity with a prepubescent UM or Ums (generally age 13 years or younger) is enough to diagnose someone as a pedophile.
So, someone who really gets off on imagining someone is the age their partner portrays themselves to be and who gets sexually turned on by that thought/image that is being created, is not someone who would be necessarily safe with your daughters.
Like it or not thats the facts

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 15

RE: A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 12:35:25 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Copulo
So, someone who really gets off on imagining someone is the age their partner portrays themselves to be and who gets sexually turned on by that thought/image that is being created, is not someone who would be necessarily safe with your daughters.
Like it or not thats the facts

And it's completely false.

What about people who really get off on imagining someone being whipped until they bled?

Or raped?

We can enjoy tons of things in fantasies, get really turned on by them, even act them out with other people- and there's still nothing wrong or any actual danger to other people.

What about the "younger" ones in these relationships? Would you tell me that there's something wrong with me because I really get off on being a little one and having sex with a much older father figure? Am I a danger to older men?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Copulo)

Post #: 16

RE: A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 12:45:48 PM

slaveluci

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From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Copulo
So, someone who really gets off on imagining someone is the age their partner portrays themselves to be and who gets sexually turned on by that thought/image that is being created, is not someone who would be necessarily safe with your daughters.
Like it or not thats the facts

And it's completely false.

We can enjoy tons of things in fantasies - and there's still nothing wrong or any actual danger to other people.
Exactly. For example, I just made a major road trip over the holiday and I had many violent, detailed fantasies about what I would love to do to the inconsiderate morons who drive in the passing lane without passing and hold everyone else up. I'd be in lockup right now if I'd actually bothered to act any of them out. One can have very detailed fantasies and daydreams without EVER acting upon them....slave luci

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To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 1:38:36 PM

Copulo

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Actually its not false according to the International Statistical Manual of Mental disorders.

Someone who imagines someone getting whipped until they bled are having sadistic thought patterns and as such could be defined a sadist. They may long to live out this fantasy and hopefully they will eventually find a like minded play partner BUT a true sadist will eventually only get off on 'Pure Sadism' (Pain without consent)
To say that I would say there was something wrong with you because you want/desire to be a child is stupid. I have already explained that I understand the reasons why someone would desire to be a child, as I have already agreed with what others here plus my daddy friend have said about why they want to play a parent role.

What I am talking about is something totally different. I am talking about a man having repeated thoughts/fantasies about having sex with a pre pube UM.

Actually you can shout me down all you like over this one. I am a tolerant person who knows and understands many kinks and age play within the realms of what I believe it to be are fine but start going down the route of a man getting off on the thought of having sex with an UM and you’ve lost me. Not everything is cool.

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 18

RE: A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 1:42:50 PM

Faramir

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I had a little girl (27 years old chronologically) who was serially abused when she was younger. Her telling me what happened to her was distressing, and awoke a fierce desire to protect in me--I wished to be able somehow to cradle her, to go back and "fix" things.

At the same time, her telling me about how she replayed those scenes in her head, added to them, how she had her sexuality fixed on being that old again and having Daddy beat her and frighten her into a state of terrified compliance where she would do any act to show how much she loved Daddy and would never ever not do what he said, aroused the fuck out of me. Her need to be emotionally that old and violently raped into devotional compliance was insane;y hot, and we did it over and over again.

I know that will shock some people, but it wasn't wrong. It was consensual sex and intimacy between adults, and therefore just. Rape is rape--sexual activity with someone who cannot or does not consent is evil, and our roleplaying and to a degree living out, age differences, was consensual and therefore not rape.

So all this crap about how some fantasies are not ok is just that--hypocritical crap. The same people talking through the side of their mouth about anyone who gets off on the idea of fucking an adult who is in a little headspace, are the same ones who have brutal rape fantasies, snuff fantasies, torture fantasies, non-consensual imprisonment/slavery fantasies, etc. You're friggin' hypocrites.

There is not a special set of sexual fantasies that are de facto evil, and then all the stuff you like is ok. In case you haven't checked, slavery is illegal in America. So are all the people here who live M/s lives dangerous law-breakers?

_____________________________

True masters, true subs and slaves, X many years in the lifestyle, Old Guard this and High Protocol that--it's like a convention of D&D nerds were allowed to have sex once, and they decided to make a religion out of it.

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 19

RE: A question I need to ask about age play - 6/1/2007 1:50:41 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Copulo
They may long to live out this fantasy and hopefully they will eventually find a like minded play partner BUT a true sadist will eventually only get off on 'Pure Sadism' (Pain without consent)

That's actually why we've created the term "ethical sadist" I've been around sadists in the scene where, if I felt they were not ethical, you could not get me within 10 feet of them. But, because they held true to their sense of ethics involving informed consent, I felt perfectly comfortable with them.

quote:

What I am talking about is something totally different. I am talking about a man having repeated thoughts/fantasies about having sex with a pre pube UM.

Actually you can shout me down all you like over this one. I am a tolerant person who knows and understands many kinks and age play within the realms of what I believe it to be are fine but start going down the route of a man getting off on the thought of having sex with an UM and you’ve lost me. Not everything is cool.

For me, it really is all cool. Actions may not be- actions with not informed, not freely consenting people. But fantasies? Bring it on.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Copulo)

Post #: 20

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