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RE: Does anyone believe in "in sickness and in hea... - 6/4/2007 8:52:28 PM

goodgirl85

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Joined: 4/16/2007
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The first thing that popped into my head when reading the op was why didn't someone contact you to let you know he was seriously ill, even if not him. If he was not physically able to contact you himself then there had to be someone else helping him with day to day needs. And why as His sub, weren't you that person? If I was with someone for a year, and they were sick and didn't tell me, I would be a little concerned.

And as he doesn't know if he will be able to see you again... maybe you should talk to him and make sure that he is not doing this for your sake... giving you an easy out. I see no other option for him saying that if he is as commited to the relationship as you say he is.

Best of luck.

girl

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RE: Does anyone believe in "in sickness and in hea... - 6/5/2007 12:33:47 AM

spanklette

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I'll just answer your question, although, some others have voiced some valid concerns that would make me rethink your relationship.

But, here's my answer. "In sickness and in health," are part of marriage vows. I don't expect anyone that I'm not in that sort of relationship with to hang around. In my particular case, we are discussing marriage and yes, I would stay by His side through whatever.

Case in point, he called me on the way to the hospital with chest pain. I was at the hospital shortly after. We sat together on the stretcher while we waited for the test results to come back. It was a very long four hours while they took blood test after blood test. He was fine, but in that short amount of time, His life flashed before our eyes. It was a huge growing experience for us.

Then, later on, I was diagnosed with a heart condition that would be a death sentence at aroud 30. I'm 26. A couple of experimental treatments and some second and third opinions about treatment got me back on the right track. I'm not all better, but I'm getting there. He was there for me the entire time.

So, yes, we are devoted to each other through the good times and the bad. I wouldn't really call it unselfish...mostly I wanted every little piece of Him I could get. I would have done anything to prolong our time together.

Turns out that there wasn't really necessarily any work to be done, but it was obvious that we were both in this thing for the long haul.

I don't fault people who aren't, however. Some relationships aren't as emotionally connected as others, and they were never meant to be. I certainly wouldn't have expected my casual play partners to be there for me in any of these instances, back when I had casual play parters. It would be nice to think that they would be there out of friendship, but I'm not naive enough to think that many people would have worked with me to get healthy.

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~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

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RE: Does anyone believe in "in sickness and in hea... - 6/5/2007 8:29:51 AM

MellowSir

Posts: 260
Joined: 4/17/2007
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You deserve respect for setting aside your physical/sexual/bdsm needs for the sake of how you feel, were the shoe on the other foot I wonder if he'd do the same? I once knew a gal that soon after I became disabled, she left me for another, I got better but it was too late for her, she showed her true colors..... good luck.....

< Message edited by MellowSir -- 6/5/2007 8:31:25 AM >

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RE: Does anyone believe in "in sickness and in hea... - 6/5/2007 8:42:01 AM

mistoferin

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In my opinion, "in sickness and in health" is a promise that you make to someone who is a life partner...not to someone who can disappear for weeks at a time and not be bothered with even letting you know they are sick. This man, from your description, proposes to care about you, so he must have had some idea that you would be beside yourself with worry over his disappearance. Apparently, this was not a high priority for him.

I also, like others, have a very difficult time understanding how someone can be involved in a real time relationship with someone for a year and not have multiple contacts with people in his life who would know where he had "poofed" to.

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RE: Does anyone believe in "in sickness and in hea... - 6/5/2007 8:49:33 AM

MistressSassy66

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Joined: 11/5/2004
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I believe in it.
I have stood by Punk with her back problems and she stands by Me with My arthritis(I cant open containers).

I have to say I feel the same way as others do...Why didnt he call and let you know what was up?
I have had stuff happen and not been able to get online,I try to let people know
that I wont be around with a phone call or a quick note.
Sometimes I post it in a Journal or on My yahoo page,that way people dont worry.
I think its common courtesy to let someone you talk to a lot,know if somethings wrong,or if your not going to be around.
Though it may not be easy to get to a PC if they are in a hospital.
In My case I could have Punk get online and let people know whats going on.

The line about not being sure if he can see you again...I would take as,hes not going to be seeing you again.I wouldnt sit around and wait to see...I personally
would ask him outright whats going on.

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"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

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RE: Does anyone believe in "in sickness and in hea... - 6/5/2007 9:12:57 AM

maledave7

Posts: 142
Joined: 8/4/2006
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I think it is a wonderful thing that you desire to stand by him. I do agree with others and that you should go and see him.
I believe in a commented relationship. I would desire to stand by my Mistress.

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RE: Does anyone believe in "in sickness and in hea... - 6/5/2007 10:26:14 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
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Greetings happilyHis,

Great advice and just as many great questions raised by the other posters. i guess i am curious about your passive behavior in this...the waiting with no word from him and now the waiting on the indefinite. i don't see this as a "thru sickness and thru health" situation as much as i see serious communication issues.

Anytime i am investing quality time in a relationship, i do a number exchange between that person (s) and my sister. She does not know anymore than this person is important to me and i want them contacted if anything happens and ofcourse they would call my sister if situation reversed. i care enough about the people in my life to keep them informed of such things. Likewise, i would be at their house the first moment i could. i would have to "see" it in their eyes whether they still wanted any form of a relationship or not.

my intuition tells me there is more to this story than you are sharing. There must be some reason why, even as a friend, you have not been to see him since he arrived home and that you weren't on his contact list.

Sorry if i sound hard, but a commitment of "thru sickness and health" is two-way, not a one-way martyrdom. ~

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