Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 5:50:45 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Im sorry but if Master desided to take up smokeing I would most likely leave.. A) it is a limit as I am asthmatic and really really cant stand smoke B) have lost to many loved ones becuase they smoked and got sick from it and C) if you dont smoke and arent addicted to it what kind of stupidity is it to start smokeing. I would have no respect for that lack of judgment.

Some people  have these limits and knowing it is a limit if the Master then started doing it it would negate the relationship. I see no difference from a slave who entering into a relationship the Master said he would never do Anal and then one day desided to use her analy, this is along the same lines. You get into a relationship with a non smoker because smokeing is a limit they then start smokeing this is knowingly breaking the slaves limit. If the Master has that little respect for his slave he indeed does not deserve to have one and most likely will not have one much longer.


Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 6:04:43 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Also if beeing obedient means that I have to sit back and watch my Master do something stupid dangerouse and bad for his health then I dont really want to be obedient!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 6:12:09 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Why should someone subject themselves to something nasty and dangerous to be considered "truly submissive"? Some people such as myself have horrible allergies and asthma reactions when around smoking.  I don't have to be around it and I won't. Everyone has preferences and values that they stand by. It does not make someone less of a submissive for that. That is just stupid.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to SirMGD)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 6:15:25 PM   
msub4Domme


Posts: 66
Joined: 3/22/2004
Status: offline 		although i am a smoker, i totally agree with some of the comments of others -- namely, that smoking has nothing at all to do with D/s.  The only case where i could possibly see where it might come into play is if one has a specific smoling fetish (those people do exist).  But that is not relevant to this thread.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 6:28:00 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I have smoked off and on since I was a teenager.  Three years ago he ordered me to never smoke again and I haven't.  I have craved it, even had people tempt me with it, but I have not smoked nor will I.

If he were to start smoking I'd think the world had fallen off its axis.  And I would worry about his health.  But it's not for me to say what he does and it wouldn't change our relationship, even if he lit up in my home.  But then it really is unrealistic to think of him doing that.

(in reply to SirMGD)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 6:29:58 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

Valyraen and I have a deal.

If he starts smoking, I start. I will match him. Since I'm on birth control and tobacco addiction runs in the family, he doesn't want that. We both enjoy a good cigar now and again, but part of our relationship agreement is that we don't smoke.

While I'm normally quick to jump to tell people to lay off smokers, this is an addiction. And not wanting to be around it should be respected the same way you would respect someone not wanting to be with or around someone addicted to drugs or booze.

If Valyraen were to suddenly start smoking, I would consider it disrespectful to our relationship, as I suspect she would.

And frankly, I find that whenever someone is spouting the "should"s and "mustn't"s like "Such rigidity has no place in a truly submissive mind or heart", they are just trying to get their own way and resorting to cheap emotional blackmail.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MamaDomme)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 6:43:08 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		The line is wherever the people involved decide it is- this goes for sex, food, smoking, money, play, clothes, tv, music, and pretty much anything else you can think of.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 6:53:58 PM   
SirMGD


Posts: 38
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline 		thank you all for youre insightful responses.
Presumeably, I am now a far more enlightened cheap, stupid, emotional blackmailer.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 6:58:20 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirMGD

pasted below is an email i wrote to a sub friend, who takes quite a hard stance against smoking. I am trying to quit, but haven't yet, and after some heated back and forth, during which she made it clear that "NO ONE smoked in her house", I had these thoughts, and now ask the same of you all, wondering I suppose, where the line is drawn, in a truly D/s household?;


Well this is one of those things you probably want to talk about before the first date.  As Chris Rock says, you can't have only one crackhead in a relationship, they both have to be crackheads.

Since my owner is an asthmatic I doubt he'll be taking up smoking anytime soon, so the whole hypothetical, "what if they change in the future" doesn't really apply.

C~


_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to SirMGD)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 6:58:51 PM   
TennesseeRain


Posts: 35
Joined: 11/9/2006
Status: offline 		The lesson I see in this post is this.  A submissve doesnt set the rules for her Master.  She trusts him to do what is best for her.  If a Master knows that a sub doesnt want smoking in her house, then the sub should trust Him that he wouldnt, not give an ultimatum.  She could respectfully ask him not to smoke in her house, but I dont think she should demand it.
 
If smoking is a limit, then that should be conveyed also, in the beginning, so it can be discussed. That way both parties can make a choice on the possible relationship.
 
If someone detests smoking, then they should not become involved with someone who smokes, unless they can accept the persons habit.   
 
 

_____________________________

"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul."

Pablo Neruda


(in reply to MamaDomme)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 6:59:27 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		Without even reading responses:  Dude, it is her house and smoking is a nasty stinky habit.  IMO you should be glad she can accept the smoking at all.  Many will not have a thing to do with a smoker, period.  i am a smoker, i do not smoke in my house, nor will i allow others.  i am sure i smell and taste like an ashtray, do i like that thought?  Nope.  If i knew then what i know now, i would never have picked up a smoke at all.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to SirMGD)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 7:04:45 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I am a former smoker. I smoked for 23 years. I have not smoked inside my own home or car since my son was born. That would mean I have not smoked inside in 17 years. So I have to say that if I was collared to someone, and they started smoking it would be crossing a hard limit line for me. My health and welfare are number one to me, and I would not tolerate someone smoking in my presense... period. I would not stay with someone that poisoned their body. I would not be with an addict of any sort. If they cannot control their own behavior, they will not be controlling me. If I am stronger than they are in controlling my bad habits that would cause me not to respect their authority.



_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SirMGD)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 7:17:05 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Wow, I am rather surprised by the staunch stance that a lot of the submissives have taken on this issue. Some of these same submissives that say that they would be heartbroken at their Dominants disappointment, or say that submission is also about that which you do even when you do not wish or like to do it. Now are saying that A) They would TELL their Dominant to take it outside..B) Inform him that they will not be obedient in this..C) leave the relationship, even one maybe of many years?..I guess if this was an issue already addressed and agreed upon no smoking..then ok...but if it were one that was not, and say the Dominant decided to start smoking again, then you as a submissive will tell him NO? that he cannot, or that you will leave? or you will kvetch and complain that he stinks or tastes bad??...interesting....Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 7:23:44 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I made this a hard limit before I got into a relationship with my Daddy, and I would with anyone that I became involved with. I have asthmatic reactions to smoke now and that is part of the reason I quit. I have seen people I love die from smoking induced illnesses. I have taken care of one of those people until he died, and because of his stroke, COPD, and emphysema he was wheelchair bound, blind, and often had to be rushed to emergency because of his breathing. I had to help shower him and even wipe his ass... so I take smoking very seriously. I will not tolerate it in my life. My own son is asthmatic also, so I suppose I am supposed to put another person's bad stinky addiction over the health of my UM? I won't do that, and anyone that asked me to would be unfit to dominate me in my eyes.. because this is something I made sure I was loud and clear about before I hook up with ANYONE. Now that may make me seem less committed as a submissive, but I can live with others thinking that, but I couldn't live with a smoker.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 7:23:46 PM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		i didn't know my partner was a smoker when we met. He hid it pretty well. We discussed smoking on one of our first dates and i related that it was a limit for me since watching my mom die of emphysema and copd and having to actually sit with her until she stopped breathing. I could never go through that again with a partner willingly. Little did i know at the time, but he was actually listening to me. When he decided to take the next step he stopped smoking. Period. He told me about it a few weeks later. He then proceeded to tell everyone that he stopped for me. I didn't even know!  It is a huge compliment and his family thanks me for the inspiration.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 7:24:37 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Such rigidity has no place in a truly submissive mind or heart.   

Ah, yes, the obligatory guilt trip used by all the ‘truly’ dominant folk. 
 

quote:

   So happy you didn't care what his kisses smelled like, or his semen tasted like. They'd be trivialities, and hugely overshadowed by any possibility of the alternative~ not having him

 
“Oh, sure, Baby; ANYTHING for You!"  ………Tina Turner

< Message edited by catize -- 6/4/2007 7:27:05 PM >

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to SirMGD)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 7:42:52 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

Wow, I am rather surprised by the staunch stance that a lot of the submissives have taken on this issue. Some of these same submissives that say that they would be heartbroken at their Dominants disappointment, or say that submission is also about that which you do even when you do not wish or like to do it. Now are saying that A) They would TELL their Dominant to take it outside..B) Inform him that they will not be obedient in this..C) leave the relationship, even one maybe of many years?..I guess if this was an issue already addressed and agreed upon no smoking..then ok...but if it were one that was not, and say the Dominant decided to start smoking again, then you as a submissive will tell him NO? that he cannot, or that you will leave? or you will kvetch and complain that he stinks or tastes bad??...interesting....Tempting


WOW hold on I dont even know how you can compare the things. A slave doing something service wise that she may not want to do to please her Master has nothing to do with her not allowing him to smoke around her. Im sorry but my health comes befor his want to smoke and if it doesnt then I dont want to be with him. I would deffinelty tell a Dom a Dom I would do anything for to take a ciggerette out of my home. It has nothign to do with service and everything to do with health. Heck if you are gunna insist on smokeing around me because you are Dom and will do as you please then why not take a gun to my head.. the death would be fast and painless as aposed to me chokeing to death. And Yes I have been put on an oxygen tank befor because Im asthmatic and was around to much smoke and had an extreme asthma attack. I enjoy breathing thank you. And im sorry but Im never going to go through what I went through watching my God Father die from cancer because he smoked if I can help it no one I love will go through that and I sure as hell wont if I can help it and not beeing around smoke or smokeing is one of the best things I can do to prevent that. So yes if beeing obidient to that person means that my health is beeing put in danger then you bet you bottom Im gunna disobay, my obligation is first to stay healthy so that I can be a slave and do the things I need to do, and hell yeah he breaks this limit and starts smokeing I would leave I am not going to deal with the health issues that come with smokeing and like I said I would lose respect for the man. Beeing a slave does not mean that you have to take everything that others want to throw at you if it is something you cant and wont live with you dont have to, and this for me is a major turn off and not something Im willing to compromise on.


In your theory if a Dom comes home drunk and wants to play with his slave she would have to play with him because how dare she tell him no simply becauase he has been drinking. It isnt a matter of beeing subserviant it is a matter of protecting yourself even if you have to protect yourself against your own Dom.
Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 6/4/2007 7:49:48 PM >

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 7:50:13 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Julia..I do fully understand your objections and that of many here..I guess my thoughts seem to stem from the fact that many a sub/slave has crumpled under other demands made by Dominants that would of floored me, but yet when it comes to smoking and all of a sudden some of these same submissives, suddenly seem to challenge quite vociferously on this issue..As said ,interesting..Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 7:57:36 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		As I stated to Julia..I fully understand your stance on this..and agree in many ways..but it still comes down to you choosing what you will and will not obey....I am not challenging your submission or anyone elses..I am trying to understand why or how lines are drawn..I have seen so many lines crossed by Dominants and that their submissives have agreed to, that have simply shocked me..but yet, with smoking ...egads!!..I am also not just simply talking about service things like cooking or kneeling at his feet...I am talking about harder levels....I am often times confused on what some submissives find absolutely intolerable...Tempting.

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking - 6/4/2007 8:02:54 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I think that the line should be drawn when someone feels as though an activity is life threatening.... in my experience smoking is life threatening. Any hard limit that I have relaxed was due to my desire to do so, not his insistence that I do so. I would not be with a former smoker to be honest with you. I would not want to be with someone that could relapse, and Sinergy feels as strongly as I do about ciggies. I thought ahead on this one.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Submission, slavery, obedience vs. Smoking Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.125